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Thread: 13 Things Your Waiter Won't Tell You

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    Veteran Member VeraLynn's Avatar
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    Lightbulb 13 Things Your Waiter Won't Tell You

    I found this link on digg.com - a neat place to find interesting articles. Apparently it was published in Reader's Digest and on their website.

    1. Avoid eating out on holidays and Saturday nights. The sheer volume of customers guarantees that most kitchens will be pushed beyond their ability to produce a high-quality dish.


    2. There are almost never any sick days in the restaurant business. A busboy with a kid to support isn't going to stay home and miss out on $100 because he's got strep throat. And these are the people handling your food.


    3. When customers' dissatisfaction devolves into personal attacks, adulterating food or drink is a convenient way for servers to exact covert vengeance. Waiters can and do spit in people's food.


    4. Never say "I'm friends with the owner." Restaurant owners don't have friends. This marks you as a clueless poseur the moment you walk in the door.


    5. Treat others as you want to be treated. (Yes, people need to be reminded of this.)


    6. Don't snap your fingers to get our attention. Remember, we have shears that cut through bone in the kitchen.


    7. Don't order meals that aren't on the menu. You're forcing the chef to cook something he doesn't make on a regular basis. If he makes the same entrée 10,000 times a month, the odds are good that the dish will be a home run every time.


    8. Splitting entrées is okay, but don't ask for water, lemon, and sugar so you can make your own lemonade. What's next, grapes so you can press your own wine?


    9. If you find a waiter you like, always ask to be seated in his or her section. Tell all your friends so they'll start asking for that server as well. You've just made that waiter look indispensable to the owner. The server will be grateful and take good care of you.


    10. If you can't afford to leave a tip, you can't afford to eat in the restaurant. Servers could be giving 20 to 40 percent to the busboys, bartenders, maître d', or hostess.


    11. Always examine the check. Sometimes large parties are unaware that a gratuity has been added to the bill, so they tip on top of it. Waiters "facilitate" this error. It's dishonest, it's wrong-and I did it all the time.


    12. If you want to hang out, that's fine. But increase the tip to make up for money the server would have made if he or she had had another seating at that table.


    13. Never, ever come in 15 minutes before closing time. The cooks are tired and will cook your dinner right away. So while you're chitchatting over salads, your entrées will be languishing under the heat lamp while the dishwasher is spraying industrial-strength, carcinogenic cleaning solvents in their immediate vicinity.


    From Reader's Digest - August 2008
    http://www.rd.com/advice-and-know-ho...icle82785.html
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    God/dess pookie's Avatar
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    Default Re: 13 Things Your Waiter Won't Tell You

    cool. thanks for posting.




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    Senior Member Dixie_Vancouver's Avatar
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    Default Re: 13 Things Your Waiter Won't Tell You

    Oh my gosh, having worked in a restaurant, it's all SO true.
    Except maybe the sick days, but I worked with a bunch of young people who just wanted to party. Somedays everybody would call in sick at once to go to the beach...ugh.

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    God/dess CKXXX's Avatar
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    Default Re: 13 Things Your Waiter Won't Tell You

    And always goover your check when you receive it. We had our waitress run up after wards yesterday because she gave up someone elses check by accident. Toonbad..their was cheper then ours!(only by like $3 though).Thankfully it was a cracker barrel and we were looking around the store and hadnt paid the check yet.

    Also...try to tip in cash if you can...someplaces take a cut of credit card tips or make the waiter wait to get their tips until they get paid from the CC company. I almost always leave the tip in cash unless I just dont have any on me.

    Quote Originally Posted by lexilou View Post
    "I'll picklepunch you in your twatwaffle!"

  5. #5
    Alaska
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    Default Re: 13 Things Your Waiter Won't Tell You

    In Kitchen Confidential by Anthony Bordain (awesome....) he says don't order fish on a Monday.......most places usually get their fresh shipments on Thu. or Fri. for the weekend. And it's true for every other product they order!

  6. #6
    Alaska
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    Default Re: 13 Things Your Waiter Won't Tell You

    Quote Originally Posted by VeraLynn View Post
    I found this link on digg.com - a neat place to find interesting articles. Apparently it was published in Reader's Digest and on their website.




    7. Don't order meals that aren't on the menu. You're forcing the chef to cook something he doesn't make on a regular basis. If he makes the same entrée 10,000 times a month, the odds are good that the dish will be a home run every time.



    13. Never, ever come in 15 minutes before closing time. The cooks are tired and will cook your dinner right away. So while you're chitchatting over salads, your entrées will be languishing under the heat lamp while the dishwasher is spraying industrial-strength, carcinogenic cleaning solvents in their immediate vicinity.


    From Reader's Digest - August 2008

    I kinda disagree with these 2 tho. Obv. they all are written from the server's POV which is cool, but asking for something not on the menu (not like a brand new dish, but with ingredients from others) prob just annoys the server, but isn't a big deal in the kitchen where they have all the ingredients on hand. I do it a lot cuz I'm a veg.

    And coming in 15 minutes before closing? Hell yea it annoys the server, I did that thankless job for years, but you know what? The restaurant closes when it closes, and so what if they rush---yr not gonna know the difference, and not gonna die.

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    Banned i.breathe.in's Avatar
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    Default Re: 13 Things Your Waiter Won't Tell You

    the movie waiting is a funny take on that.

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    Default Re: 13 Things Your Waiter Won't Tell You

    I think it's annoying when they show up right before close. Like, we're already sweeping. You don't need breakfast at 3pm!! (we're a breakfast place).

    But whatever. That's cuz I'm tired. If you do come right before close, please don't loiter for an hour! some people are assholes.

    Also, I love when people bring their children, and just forget to parent. These couple the other day let their daughter eat eight pieces of the complimentary fudge, and then run amok, whilst their toddler son lay in the middle of the floor, screaming. They did NOTHING. I was like 'uhm...yeah. There are other patrons here as well? And maybe your daughter would be better off without a future full of diabetes?'. In my head though. I don't have any balls.

  9. #9
    Alaska
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    Default Re: 13 Things Your Waiter Won't Tell You

    ^the movie waiting is the worst most unfunny piece of teenage crap schlock EVAR!!!

    imo.

    tried to block out the unfunniness, success, only memory remaining is that girl's BUSH at the end.

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    Banned i.breathe.in's Avatar
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    Default Re: 13 Things Your Waiter Won't Tell You

    i thought it was funny...now meet the spartans...that was god aweful.

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    Featured Member iseestars's Avatar
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    Default Re: 13 Things Your Waiter Won't Tell You

    I'm ashamed to say that I've been drunk at work before and snapped my fingers at our bartender, who I actually really liked, to get her attention. She gave me the nastiest look, which I deserved, lol.

  12. #12
    Peanut_Butter
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    Default Re: 13 Things Your Waiter Won't Tell You

    I gotta add my biggest pet peeve as a cocktial waitress at a casino
    Please don't say, " bring me whatever" or what do you have?
    We have everything.
    But when I say that it's followed by, " like what?"
    Beer, wine, champainge, water, soda, lemonaid, watermelon juice..really. We have it all.
    Well, just bring me a beer.
    What kind of beer?
    a domestic one
    Well, which one?
    Fuck it. I'll bring ya a bud light, ok?
    noo..not a bud light, somethign different...
    grrr.

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    Featured Member Sveta's Avatar
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    Default Re: 13 Things Your Waiter Won't Tell You

    Quote Originally Posted by i.breathe.in View Post
    i thought it was funny...now meet the spartans...that was god aweful.
    I watched Waiting with a bunch of friends; half of us thought it was hilarious and the other half hated it. Guess which group had previous restaurant-serving experience? A lot of it was in the "it's funny because it's true" category.
    ~'A Seven Nation Army Couldn't Hold Me Back'~

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    Default Re: 13 Things Your Waiter Won't Tell You

    I used to wait tables. So true!!

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    God/dess CKXXX's Avatar
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    Default Re: 13 Things Your Waiter Won't Tell You

    I loved waiting and I've never worked in a restaurant

    Quote Originally Posted by lexilou View Post
    "I'll picklepunch you in your twatwaffle!"

  16. #16
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    Default Re: 13 Things Your Waiter Won't Tell You

    Haha, it just stood out to me as being like horribly bad---and I'm so down with the cheesy teen movies tho! Maybe because I saw it in crowded as fuck Clifton Commons in NJ, opening nite, where they had a LINE in the lobby after you stood in 1/2 hour ticket line....yes, waiting for Waiting....and i accompanyed my little sister and her friend, who were 17............would you believe they asked for ID??? I was literally turning 21 that month, but still 20! I had to verbally manhandle the chick to let us in, in was an intense experience overall, lol.

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    Default Re: 13 Things Your Waiter Won't Tell You

    We should make one for fast food. Number one might be "Its possible your Arby Melt fell on the floor at some point."

    Number two might be "sponges just push germs around. Don't trust that clean looking booth!

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    Default Re: 13 Things Your Waiter Won't Tell You

    asjflaskd
    Last edited by J_Lynne; 07-24-2009 at 02:56 AM. Reason: saflasd

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    Default Re: 13 Things Your Waiter Won't Tell You

    Quote Originally Posted by Alaska View Post
    In Kitchen Confidential by Anthony Bordain (awesome....) he says don't order fish on a Monday.......most places usually get their fresh shipments on Thu. or Fri. for the weekend. And it's true for every other product they order!
    Quote Originally Posted by J_Lynne View Post
    I have the biggest crush on that man.

    Back off....he's mine!!
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    And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka and have a party."
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  20. #20
    goldengrl69
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    Default Re: 13 Things Your Waiter Won't Tell You

    How does Arbys stay in buisness? The commercials look Gross!




    Quote Originally Posted by LilyLove View Post
    We should make one for fast food. Number one might be "Its possible your Arby Melt fell on the floor at some point."

    Number two might be "sponges just push germs around. Don't trust that clean looking booth!

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    Default Re: 13 Things Your Waiter Won't Tell You

    Quote Originally Posted by Peanut_Butter View Post
    I gotta add my biggest pet peeve as a cocktial waitress at a casino
    Please don't say, " bring me whatever" or what do you have?
    We have everything.
    But when I say that it's followed by, " like what?"
    Beer, wine, champainge, water, soda, lemonaid, watermelon juice..really. We have it all.
    Well, just bring me a beer.
    What kind of beer?
    a domestic one
    Well, which one?
    Fuck it. I'll bring ya a bud light, ok?
    noo..not a bud light, somethign different...
    grrr.
    Oh alcohol service is the WORST! 'rum and coke' can mean in any type of container, any type of rum... the only thing you're being descriptive about is the coke! So if I bring you a 7 oz. coke don't freaking go, "Oh I meant in a can!" wttffff then SAY THAT. When I hear Rum and Coke, I think you mean on ice, okay? Or "OMG what IS this rum? Bundy? EWWW!" FOR FUCKS SAKE IF YOU DONT TELL ME HOW DO I KNOW WHAT RUM YOU WANT!?


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    Featured Member Sveta's Avatar
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    Default Re: 13 Things Your Waiter Won't Tell You

    Quote Originally Posted by Lysondra View Post
    Oh alcohol service is the WORST! 'rum and coke' can mean in any type of container, any type of rum... the only thing you're being descriptive about is the coke! So if I bring you a 7 oz. coke don't freaking go, "Oh I meant in a can!" wttffff then SAY THAT. When I hear Rum and Coke, I think you mean on ice, okay? Or "OMG what IS this rum? Bundy? EWWW!" FOR FUCKS SAKE IF YOU DONT TELL ME HOW DO I KNOW WHAT RUM YOU WANT!?


    The best is when you ask what kind of (vodka, gin, rum, etc) they want and they go, "oh, anything's fine." And then complain about whatever you serve them! Either "that's too expensive!" or "I wanted something better than this...." Well why didn't you choose something when I ran down the list of all the vodkas we have? "Just give me whatever" is not helpful.
    Last edited by Sveta; 07-14-2008 at 02:18 AM.
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    Default Re: 13 Things Your Waiter Won't Tell You

    Quote Originally Posted by Sveta View Post


    The best is when you ask what kind of (vodka, gin, rum, etc) they want and they go, "oh, anything's fine." And then complain about whatever you serve them! Either "that's too expensive!" or "I wanted something better than this...." Well why didn't you choose something when I ran down the list of all the vodkas we have? "Just give me whatever" is not helpful.
    See, I may be particular about my alcohol (french martini, grey goose, 3 parts pineapple, shaken - thanks!!) but at least you know EXACTLY what I want!!! Arggghhhh people who drink are so stupid! I don't care if you drink cheap beer, at least tell me what SIZE you want, what TYPE you want (so you don't care brand? At least tell me if you prefer a light, a lager, a stout or a draught!!) and if you prefer a bottle or a freaking glass!!!

    And it's like...every.single.customer. does it! You never freaking hear, "Bundy Rum and Coke in a 7, please" NEVER! It's always, "Uh...yeah...er....a rum and coke I guess." and then they complain. When you ask them "What kind?" to be helpful they get all huffy, "JUST A RUM AND COKE THANKS!"

    ARGGGHH!


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    Think like a man
    Act like a lady
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    Default Re: 13 Things Your Waiter Won't Tell You

    Quote Originally Posted by VeraLynn View Post
    but don't ask for water, lemon, and sugar so you can make your own lemonade.

    Is this a joke or do people actually do it?



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    Featured Member Sveta's Avatar
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    Default Re: 13 Things Your Waiter Won't Tell You

    Quote Originally Posted by Polekitten View Post
    Is this a joke or do people actually do it?
    yep, people actually do it.
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