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    Default Where to meet boyfriends

    I saw a thread a while back about where to meet sex buddies...but honestly that is super easy. I'd like to know where I can meet guys who are boyfriend material. You know, guys who want to commit and arent just in it for sex. The whole bar/club scene is just a bunch of horny guys looking for one night stands it seems, so that's out. I have met a few guys in the past who came into my club that were cute but they are far and few between. Ive tried online dating and it seems like lately all the guys there are ugly/pathetic/uninteresting/uneducated. So where can I meet good looking guys who arent just looking to get laid? I graduated from school so that is no longer an option anymore. I might have to start doing shitty underpaid extra work or something :-(
    What do you recommend? I am far too shy to go up to random guys at the supermarket and such, I need something more social.

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    Veteran Member BB1984's Avatar
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    Default Re: Where to meet boyfriends

    What are your hobbies? Relationships always work well with like minded people. For example, if you like running, join a running club, if you like animals volunteer at an animal shelter, if you are into fitness, look for a guy at the gym, etc. And of course there are also places like Starbucks, the bookstore etc.

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    Default Re: Where to meet boyfriends

    I like meetup.com. Its a place where people can find others like them and meetup.
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    Default Re: Where to meet boyfriends

    Quote Originally Posted by BB1984 View Post
    What are your hobbies? Relationships always work well with like minded people. For example, if you like running, join a running club, if you like animals volunteer at an animal shelter, if you are into fitness, look for a guy at the gym, etc. And of course there are also places like Starbucks, the bookstore etc.
    Yeah, my hobbies consist of pretty girly things like yoga and pole dancing lol.

    Do people actually meet others in starbucks? is it like the new bar? Im afraid of going up to random people in public and have them say (oh sorry im taken). How are you supposed to approach them in such an environment anyway?

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    Default Re: Where to meet boyfriends

    Quote Originally Posted by msonyxorb View Post
    I saw a thread a while back about where to meet sex buddies...but honestly that is super easy. I'd like to know where I can meet guys who are boyfriend material. You know, guys who want to commit and arent just in it for sex. The whole bar/club scene is just a bunch of horny guys looking for one night stands it seems, so that's out. I have met a few guys in the past who came into my club that were cute but they are far and few between. Ive tried online dating and it seems like lately all the guys there are ugly/pathetic/uninteresting/uneducated. So where can I meet good looking guys who arent just looking to get laid? I graduated from school so that is no longer an option anymore. I might have to start doing shitty underpaid extra work or something :-(
    What do you recommend? I am far too shy to go up to random guys at the supermarket and such, I need something more social.
    Ya know, I've been wondering the same thing myself. I can't meet a decent guy to save my life. Seriously. They're all either taken or gay, or complete scumbags.

    I mean, it makes for some good stories when I go out with my chick friends .... I have little nicknames for them all, such as Beer Goggles, Dancing Queen, the Hand Licker, etc and we all have good laughs, but that's it.

    No matter where I meet people, it's always the same, you can put them into one of four categories: Gay. Taken. Bat-shit Crazy. Scumbag.

    Bars, bookstores, starbucks, target, school, work, I've even given in to ONE person on the internet (he's the Dancing Queen)..... I've tried everything, everywhere, always the same end result. It goes nowhere.

    And if I hear something like "Wow, how are YOU single? You're so much more pretty/cool/fun/(insert good adjective here) than my wife/fiancee/girlfriend" one more gd time...well, I think my head will fucking explode.



    Quote Originally Posted by msonyxorb View Post
    Yeah, my hobbies consist of pretty girly things like yoga and pole dancing lol.

    Do people actually meet others in starbucks? is it like the new bar? Im afraid of going up to random people in public and have them say (oh sorry im taken). How are you supposed to approach them in such an environment anyway?
    It usually starts with eye contact, and they'll come up to say and say something stupid and then you're momentarily flattered but then you notice a giant wedding ring. (sorry, can you tell this happens to me ALL THE FUCKING TIME?! I'm a little bitter! haha )

    Seriously though, although it has not worked for me obviously, if you just make eye contact, and throw in a smile, they'll usually be comfortable approaching you.


    Funny story, i was out once and met a guy who was perfectly good looking, and then I noticed he was married, and he caught me looking at the ring, brought out pics of his kids and wife (ugly as hell too), and when I was obviously not interested, he said "I take it you're not diggin the ring huh?"






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    Default Re: Where to meet boyfriends

    Quote Originally Posted by msonyxorb View Post
    Yeah, my hobbies consist of pretty girly things like yoga and pole dancing lol.

    Do people actually meet others in starbucks? is it like the new bar? Im afraid of going up to random people in public and have them say (oh sorry im taken). How are you supposed to approach them in such an environment anyway?
    I'm married and therefore not trying, but I get asked out in Starbucks and Barnes and Noble all the time. After about 7 or 8pm Barnes & Noble really seems to be a singles meet & greet.

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    Default Re: Where to meet boyfriends

    Just avoid the men in the self-help section!!!


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    Default Re: Where to meet boyfriends

    I met my boyfriend off CL.

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    Default Re: Where to meet boyfriends

    Quote Originally Posted by Lysondra View Post
    Just avoid the men in the self-help section!!!
    damn! so that's what i was doing wrong this whole time?! haha






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    Default Re: Where to meet boyfriends

    you're going to have to make some compromises, generally guys who are successful don't have time to work a relationship properly and end up just wanting to get laid, less successful guys want stability and a girlfriend, you can't have both.

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    Default Re: Where to meet boyfriends

    I would say try going on a vacation. Sometimes people meet on vacation.

    Or try Europe. Guys there seem to be better boyfriend material. Venice worked for me.

    Other people meet at college. Try taking a classes that interests you, maybe you will find somebody there with similar interests.

    Or maybe a dog park.




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    Default Re: Where to meet boyfriends

    Quote Originally Posted by msonyxorb View Post
    Im afraid of going up to random people in public and have them say (oh sorry im taken). How are you supposed to approach them in such an environment anyway?
    generally people aren't expecting 'hi, what's your name?', it can be a very nice surprise and if they react badly then you've got the whole figuring out if they're an asshole thing out of the way.

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    Default Re: Where to meet boyfriends

    Quote Originally Posted by Durka Durka View Post
    you're going to have to make some compromises, generally guys who are successful don't have time to work a relationship properly and end up just wanting to get laid, less successful guys want stability and a girlfriend, you can't have both.
    The hell...?


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    Default Re: Where to meet boyfriends

    Quote Originally Posted by Lysondra View Post
    The hell...?
    guys like variety.

    success = less time more money more possibility for meeting lots of different women, steady girlfriend is much less of a priority especially when your own free time is so limited due to working a lot.

    loser = plenty of time on his hands, limited money, limited selecion of partners, more willing to settle down.

    basically, the losers are the 'good' guys the thread starter is refering to, the successful ones aren't good because they simply don't have to be. they have enough money to do what they want to do.

    instinctually men want a lot of different women, societal limitations and environment are responsible for monogamy.

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    Default Re: Where to meet boyfriends

    Quote Originally Posted by Durka Durka View Post
    guys like variety.

    success = less time more money more possibility for meeting lots of different women, steady girlfriend is much less of a priority especially when your own free time is so limited due to working a lot.

    loser = plenty of time on his hands, limited money, limited selecion of partners, more willing to settle down.

    basically, the losers are the 'good' guys the thread starter is refering to, the successful ones aren't good because they simply don't have to be. they have enough money to do what they want to do.

    instinctually men want a lot of different women, societal limitations and environment are responsible for monogamy.
    Ah. This is why you're here now, I get it.

    No, really dude... I have a great time finding successful men who wanna settle down. The only thing is - I don't!

    Who are you to speak for people and tell them what they want?


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    Default Re: Where to meet boyfriends

    Quote Originally Posted by Lysondra View Post
    Ah. This is why you're here now, I get it.

    No, really dude... I have a great time finding successful men who wanna settle down. The only thing is - I don't!

    Who are you to speak for people and tell them what they want?
    there's catch there you're not looking at.

    and yeah, you're right, i have plenty of time on my hands, but i'm not willing to settle at all.

    generalizations are just that, generalizations, they don't apply to EVERYBODY. just most people in a specific group.

    and yeah insulting me really isn't going to get you anywhere. i mean, way to be overly defensive for no reason.

    but if you don't believe me, fine.

    when guys have enough money to fuck whoever they want they're almost guaranteed to get a girlfriend they don't want and get stuck with her while trying to fuck lots of women, and that's the only way. they are not looking for a girlfriend. girlfriends are for when you're too much of a loser to do whatever, but too weak to just wait until you've got enough money.

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    Default Re: Where to meet boyfriends

    Quote Originally Posted by Durka Durka View Post
    there's catch there you're not looking at.

    and yeah, you're right, i have plenty of time on my hands, but i'm not willing to settle at all.

    generalizations are just that, generalizations, they don't apply to EVERYBODY. just most people in a specific group.

    and yeah insulting me really isn't going to get you anywhere. i mean, way to be overly defensive for no reason.

    but if you don't believe me, fine.

    when guys have enough money to fuck whoever they want they're almost guaranteed to get a girlfriend they don't want and get stuck with her while trying to fuck lots of women, and that's the only way. they are not looking for a girlfriend. girlfriends are for when you're too much of a loser to do whatever, but too weak to just wait until you've got enough money.
    I wasn't attacking you. shit. Get a sense of humour.

    And no, I have not found this to be my experience at all. There are many rich men who just wish they could have a nice woman to settle down with. MANY. MANY MANY.


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    Default Re: Where to meet boyfriends

    Quote Originally Posted by Lysondra View Post
    I wasn't attacking you. shit. Get a sense of humour.

    And no, I have not found this to be my experience at all. There are many rich men who just wish they could have a nice woman to settle down with. MANY. MANY MANY.
    mostly due to other factors that bother them when it comes to sleeping with random women, not because they really really really want a spouse. they have compromised, either because it's not safe or practical or even viable financially to sleep around. i mean, sure plenty of guys are successful enough to have a nice life with a wife, but very few are successful enough to be a baller 24/7 and even then there's stds and psychos to deal with. every guy i've ever talked to immediately starts talking about the disadvantages of sleeping around when considering settling down because that's the ONLY factor to a successful man, a loser has more reason to settle down because on top of the reasons stated above, having a spouse is even more convenient and can actually be a good financial decision. he's not going to come across many, if any random women, someone needs to be reliable.

    and there's a good chance half of the guys you're referring to were just full of shit and trying to fuck you. liars do exist.

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    Default Re: Where to meet boyfriends

    anyway i'm not trying to tell people what they want, i'm just being realistic here.

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    Dude, I didn't even fuck any of the rich guys that told me this. Do you know any actual rich people or did you just get your info off MTV? We're not talking rapstars and their ho's here, I'm talking about CEOs and real rich men. Like, hard working earned rich men who used business (they're more likely anyway!).

    G-d you wouldn't believe how many I met that were so desperate for a long term commitment but they never had time to find a woman to settle down with... they didn't even just get laid because it was too meaningless and THAT took time they didn't have as well.

    I can't believe that: 1. you think a loser is someone without money and 2. a loser is the only person that would want to be monogomous.

    Just because if you were rich you wouldn't have had settle for what you have doesn't mean everyone feels the same as you.

    Urrrrghhh... I have so many wealthy friends and it's judgement likes your that makes them hate people.


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    Default Re: Where to meet boyfriends

    Quote Originally Posted by Durka Durka View Post
    anyway i'm not trying to tell people what they want, i'm just being realistic here.
    Fine. Your version realism is not reality, though.


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    Default Re: Where to meet boyfriends

    "Urrrrghhh... I have so many wealthy friends and it's judgement likes your that makes them hate people."

    that's enough to satisfy me, in this whole thing.

    you win, you're right.

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    Default Re: Where to meet boyfriends

    Quote Originally Posted by Hello_Kitty27 View Post

    And if I hear something like "Wow, how are YOU single? You're so much more pretty/cool/fun/(insert good adjective here) than my wife/fiancee/girlfriend" one more gd time...well, I think my head will fucking explode.

    I hear a variation of that all the time and I hate it. I joined a running club/team this year and have also not missed a local race all season. I have met a lot of runners. I have also been involved in some masters swim and tri events and iHAVE met people, including guys. This tactic does work. I am seeing someone now from my running group. It is very new still.

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    Default Re: Where to meet boyfriends

    Quote Originally Posted by Durka Durka View Post
    guys like variety.

    success = less time more money more possibility for meeting lots of different women, steady girlfriend is much less of a priority especially when your own free time is so limited due to working a lot.

    loser = plenty of time on his hands, limited money, limited selecion of partners, more willing to settle down.

    basically, the losers are the 'good' guys the thread starter is refering to, the successful ones aren't good because they simply don't have to be. they have enough money to do what they want to do.

    instinctually men want a lot of different women, societal limitations and environment are responsible for monogamy.
    This is easily the most inaccurate statement I've ever read. Hands down. So many of the most successful and ambitious (not to mention charming and handsome) men I've ever met are dying to find quality women to invest time in for a long-term relationship. They are all around you and in every part of the world that you go. You just have to be in the right place in at the right time, sometimes.
    Stay as articulate and independent-minded as you are, OP, and the right one will inevitably present himself.

    As for you, sir, with such claims like: "basically, the losers are the 'good' guys the thread starter is refering to, the successful ones aren't good because they simply don't have to be. they have enough money to do what they want to do." I have a strong feeling that you are neither "successful" nor "good".

    Great and successful men tend to keep company with each other so you're obviously socializing in the wrong circles.
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    Default Re: Where to meet boyfriends

    you're not really getting my point there.

    yeah, they're rich and successful and they're looking for spouses? great, but there are other reasons, always other reasons than just 'i want someone'. it's a compromise.

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