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Thread: Drama For A Living...

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    Member Skye917's Avatar
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    Default Drama For A Living...

    I wasnt really sure where to post this... But it is a common newbie post...

    My boyfriend and I (of 3 years) just broke up. The reason was that I choose my job over him. I've been dancing for almost 2 months now, and I thought he was fine, than it just got to him. I feel like I was being pushed around so I held my ground, for once in our relationship. We had a baby less than 10 months ago, and I was so scared to be on my own, and have a MIA "Baby Daddy"! Now I'm not so sure. Talking to the girls at my club has allmost convinced me that a man isnt what we should be striving for. Im so ready to be all about my son, and actualy get to be 19!! But at the same time I wonder if I made the right decision. H shouldnt be allowed to change his mind, and he wouldnt quit if I asked him to.

    Should I feel liberated or what, I'm confused more so than happy or sad. I hope I didnt mess up. I love dancing, and him... But I need to stand up for myself...

    I guess this isnt so much a question more like a OMG I need to get al my thoughts out!!

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    God/dess cinammonkisses's Avatar
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    Default Re: Drama For A Living...

    Awww honey, being with someone that you have been with since your teen years can be hard. You've grown up together, and no you have a child with him. I totally understand why you would be wondering if you made the right decision or not.

    I am a firm believer of womens INDEPENDENCE! You should never have to feel the need to NEED a man, or think that you NEED to have a man in your life. Taking care of your son should be/will always be your 100% priority, whether or not his father is in his life or not. At least your son will know you have his back regardless.

    I personally think you both need some time to cool down. See where things go. I dont' like the idea of him constantly "pushing you around" that doesn't even sound healthy, you didnt' touch on that so I won't speculate. But I will say this, start getting YOU and your son in order.

    The man you just spent the last 3yrs with just may not walk back through that door. If he doesn't that's ok. If he does, ya'll need to sit down and have a serious discussion. You need a man who is comfortable with himself and w/ his relationship. Alot of dancers are single just because of this babe. Alot of men just can't deal.. with men lusting after his girl...especially with us having such a financial independence.

    I just want you to devise a plan on what you are going to do IF he doesn't come back. Hell, do you even want him back? At 19, I know you want him back..when I was 19 (and also in a 3yr rel. w/ my man) I ALWAYS took him back..As I got older, I was finally able to reflect and learn my worth. The shit I put up with, nah uh, I no longer tolerate from anyone!

    Keep that in mind, you'll be in my thoughts,
    cK







    Some Douchebag: "[Pimp C] 12:43 am: its true we got to stick together the black people on SW CK you is teh condoleeza of SW"


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    Member Skye917's Avatar
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    Default Re: Drama For A Living...

    Thnaks... I guess I needed a pep talk... It's crazy because I cant cry about it. It's like there's hidden relief mixed in somewhere. Why should I have to choose a man over my job, when he's known me forever and what type of person I really am. I understand the whole 'jealousy' type thing, but when Ive been with him, why worry! Ugghhh, I gotta stop strtessing!! I went on a shopping frenzy last night, my poor credit card! But at least I'll go to work with some hott ass outfits because of it!!

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    Veteran Member happygiggles's Avatar
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    Default Re: Drama For A Living...

    damn girl. i just hope things turn out in your favor, whatever that may be. the hardest thing ever is to watch someone you have a child with to walk out the door. and then becoming a babymama when you've been just baby is a whole different thing to handle. but from what i conclude, you all were together for more than the child. i just hope things work out cuz i don't wish anyone this emotional hell i'm going through

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    Default Re: Drama For A Living...

    Thanks Girlie... I keep going back and forth... It would be so easy to stay together if I just quit, but I love dancing. I just dont know if I made the right choice. A job over my relationship...

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    Default Re: Drama For A Living...

    its hard. but you may want to look at it as choosing yourself over him. but right now you're getting what you need- time to think and weigh every option. here's something to marinade in your mind. would life be better for you with dancing and without him, or would life be better with him and without dancing. it sucks cuz it's seems that you lose either way but trust me, whatever you decide to do is worth it

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    God/dess cinammonkisses's Avatar
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    Default Re: Drama For A Living...

    Quote Originally Posted by Skye917 View Post
    Thanks Girlie... I keep going back and forth... It would be so easy to stay together if I just quit, but I love dancing. I just dont know if I made the right choice. A job over my relationship...
    Dont' you see how that is a double standard..he choose to break up with you over your job than stay in your relationship.

    If you are having doubts, scared, whatever then go back..Being "pushed around" is something that some women feel they need to have in their life. And, if that's how you view it, then nothing anyone can say is going to keep you away from that.







    Some Douchebag: "[Pimp C] 12:43 am: its true we got to stick together the black people on SW CK you is teh condoleeza of SW"


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    Default Re: Drama For A Living...

    I see what your saying.. He had actually called the next day!! The first time I stand up for myself, and he comes back, not me.. I told him I wasnt quiting, and if he wanted to work thnigs out then thtas fine, but no more manipulation. I dont think thigs will be the same anyways... I guess it took that day I started this threda to feel sorry for myself, but now I can see that he's not mature enough to be with me, or probably any woman at that! I guess I gotta sleep on it, and figure out if I want to be about him or not! Not the other way!

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    Default Re: Drama For A Living...

    I think you made the right choice, you have to think about your childs future and your own future. Are you still on 'good terms' with your ex or does he despise you now?

    You never know, he might come around. If he loves you, he loves his son/daughter as well and most likely will be back in your life one way or another. I hope everything works out for you.

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    Default Re: Drama For A Living...

    Quote Originally Posted by Skye917 View Post
    Should I feel liberated...
    Yes! I know it hurts. Most of us have been there at some point, having to choose between our job and a partner who we thought would love us unconditionally.

    I think you did the best, most empowering thing for yourself. A job is a sure thing that you can count on; a man, not so much. Since you chose to keep dancing, now you can give your son a fabulous life and build a secure future for yourself without being dependent on anyone.
    ~'A Seven Nation Army Couldn't Hold Me Back'~

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