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Thread: PL offers to pay tuition?

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    PL offers to pay tuition?

    I'm probably about 2 years into a college degree if I transfer to the local uni. That's a conservative estimate since I have more credits than 2 years, but usually when you transfer schools they like you to be there at least 2 years and I might tack on a minor degree or another major, too.

    I recently met a regular who has quickly become attached to me. He's been wanting to know my schedule for every shift I work, so I emailed him. He's not a huge spender in the club at all, but when someone asks for my schedule I'll certainly take a few moments to write them my schedule. Every little bit helps. He's written back with long letters about how he wants to help pay for my tuition and books and help me to "move on" from stripping to get my education. He says there's just something about me and we met for a reason.

    I've never ever used a sob story before but I have done it twice in the past few weeks and this is what happens. Basically I've done it with two PLs and it goes like this—they ask me if I'm in school and I say things like "I wish I could be in school, I'd love to go back, I just have to pay off a ton of bills and debt and then work really hard to save up the money for tuition." They ask me what else I do for fun and I say things like, "I don't have time for many hobbies because I spend a lot of time working hard to pay down my debts and save up for tuition." When they ask for more details I portray my stripper self as a smart girl who is working hard to "make her life better." Then they seem to want to get in on it. One PL gave me a pretty substantial tip and said something like hope this will help you with your dreams. Guffaw.

    So this tuition guy is one of the sob story guys. He also told me a pretty long story about a near-tragedy in his life. I listened like I really cared and maybe that's why he's formed this emotional connection to me.

    I might just take him up on his offer, as long as he's not being shady about it. We'll see. Has anyone ever had a regular pay their tuition and books in some PL attempt to "get them out of the business?"

    I have no plans to quit dancing.

  2. #2
    God/dess anomar's Avatar
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    Default Re: PL offers to pay tuition?

    Your post has MANY red flags in it about this guy. The fact that you refer to him as a PL instead of a regular being only the smallest. If he believes that you have an intense emotional connection with you, then it's a bad decision to become 'indebted' to him. He'll have 'just cause' to insinuate into your life for then next two years, minimum.

    Yipes!

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    God/dess Bella21's Avatar
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    Default Re: PL offers to pay tuition?

    Yes, they will absolutely expect to see you outside the club. Proceed with caution.
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

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    Veteran Member jennahoff's Avatar
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    Default Re: PL offers to pay tuition?

    im stupid but whats PL?
    ~jenna~

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    God/dess fancygirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: PL offers to pay tuition?

    protect your real name at all costs. If he wants to contribute to your tuition he needs to either a) give you cash and not expect a receipt back or b) write a money order (make him get it from the post office-- more and more people are doing western union forgeries) directly to your university.

    I have no problem with you taking advantage of these guys-- just be careful because
    this is going to make you honestly start to think of your clients truly as pathetic losers and you alway have to be prepared for thing to go south very quickly if they get mad at you.

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    Default Re: PL offers to pay tuition?

    Yep, that's sort of what I wanted to hear, anomar! He's only been coming in for a week. I call him a PL because he's written me those scary too long emails. It's like oh, glad you liked the show, come back next time. It's always a red flag when customers write you huge, long emails. Customers that you've known a week.

    I always hate when people start talking about plans to "help you" when they just want to buy your energy, time and soul or make themselves feel like Mr. Philanthropist.

    It's like, if you really want to help me with tuition, bring me $20k in cash. Seriously. Guys always want to "help" but then when it's time, they sure do want something in return. Might have something to do with the nice guy syndrome.

    I didn't wanna do this, because I am sort of delusionally hoping that he will legitimately and blindly just hand over money that I need for tuition and this just sorta confirms that he's probably nuts, but here is an excerpt from the email:

    "I know it souds crazy, but I guess I see something in you that I want to help and do everything I can so you can succed, get out of this dirty and dangerous busness that you are inm and give you an oppertunity to get your life back. I thought I would run some things by you and see what you thought and get a read on you if it was something that you really wanted. Why, am I risking this with someone I don't even know. Hell, I don't even know. But there is just something about you. I want to help you. I don;t know why. It is just who I am and it is payback time and pay it forward time to do something good for someone who I don't really even know. I am just a different guy. I just came across you and I believe in you. And my gut just says. You can help change her life. That's what I want to do."

    I'm usually very suspicious of those who can't spell and include typos in their emails. This one probably isn't worth dealing with.

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    Default Re: PL offers to pay tuition?

    After reading that excerpt and now I am literally giggling at myself for posting about this and wondering if he would actually help me. He's clearly insane, huh?

    "Anyway, I was just a little disappointed that you didn't let me know that your schedule had changed. You said you would always keep me updated on your working schedule. That way I don't have to waste my time. And when I called like I did yesterday, I get your voice mail and leave a message and you never return my calls. At least to acknowlage them. Anyway, If you would have gotten back to me yesterday and tonight I would have had the time to see you. So I could have had 2 wonderful and glorious times spent with you and you could have banked $[number removed] in the process.Oh well like they say," That's Show Biz" , I guess. WE both lose out yet again."*

    For the record, I told him I'd email him my schedule. Of course it's subject to change at any time. I'm a freakin' stripper.

    *This is why I called him a PL.

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    Veteran Member modlgrl's Avatar
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    Default Re: PL offers to pay tuition?

    Hi.
    If you do accept the $ are you prepared to start attending a university. If he becomes obsessed, and he most likely will, he will feel that you "owe" him that. Ask yourself how you want this to go. Unless you are prepared to move to a different club and just keep the $ if it is that large of a sum. Also, be sure to never give out your personal info, but learn as much as possible about him. How will he be paying you? Some guys do little things to learn more about you, and then it is almost impossible to get rid of them.

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    Default Re: PL offers to pay tuition?

    Wow, now that I read that second excerpt it's all red flags.

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    Default Re: PL offers to pay tuition?

    Yeah... I've had a few custies give me extra-large tips because they know I just finished school and have massive student loan debt, however I've NEVER used sob stories. Be careful that you're not perpetuating stereotypes about strippers and other sex workers being fallen women desperate for rescue from a man's money.

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    Default Re: PL offers to pay tuition?

    Well, I'm not making up a sob story or laying it on thick. I just say that I'd like to go to school, but I have bills to take care of, so I'm working hard. This is totally true. I think it would work on certain customers, though, especially the ones who have unloaded their sob stories on me.

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    Veteran Member MissDewdrop's Avatar
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    Default Re: PL offers to pay tuition?

    Quote Originally Posted by Cherry Valence View Post
    After reading that excerpt and now I am literally giggling at myself for posting about this and wondering if he would actually help me. He's clearly insane, huh?

    "Anyway, I was just a little disappointed that you didn't let me know that your schedule had changed. You said you would always keep me updated on your working schedule. That way I don't have to waste my time. And when I called like I did yesterday, I get your voice mail and leave a message and you never return my calls. At least to acknowlage them. Anyway, If you would have gotten back to me yesterday and tonight I would have had the time to see you. So I could have had 2 wonderful and glorious times spent with you and you could have banked $[number removed] in the process.Oh well like they say," That's Show Biz" , I guess. WE both lose out yet again."*



    For the record, I told him I'd email him my schedule. Of course it's subject to change at any time. I'm a freakin' stripper.

    *This is why I called him a PL.
    Ohhhhhhh boy! He already implies that you're beholden to him! I can't state this enough, but be careful. I wouldn't take him up on his offer. This is just the tip of the iceberg. If you accept his "help," there will be a cat's cradle of strings attached. Be careful, whatever you decide.

  13. #13
    Member Maddie's Avatar
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    Default Re: PL offers to pay tuition?

    Can I take a moment to admit that I don't really like when dancers use the "college" thing when it's not true? It's cool to stretch the truth, etc. But, for example, this one girl at the club acts like she's going to school this summer just so she can get cheaper house fees for coming in late and so custys will give her "school money" that yes, she really just spends on drugs, alcohol, cigs, and shopping (from what she says in the dressing room and the new bags of clothes always at work)!

    It bothers me because I AM going back to school and working diligently to pay off debt and get my life together so that, when I retire from dancing, I have options instead of regrets, or worse, am forced, by default, into a life of dancing at shoddy clubs or doing "extras".

    Sorry for the semi-thread-jack... I just want to say this: Get what you can, I applaud you for that, and wish you luck.

  14. #14
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    Default Re: PL offers to pay tuition?

    Take his money but don't plan on this money tree lasting for the long term....He's coming on too strong too fast- a real sugar daddy "patron" type would not be chomping at the bit.

    & I hope you do end up going to school- right now I dance full-time, so I can afford school soon.

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    God/dess ViolaStrings's Avatar
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    Default Re: PL offers to pay tuition?

    He sounds like a psycho. Classic white knight.

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    Default Re: PL offers to pay tuition?

    Quote Originally Posted by Maddie View Post
    Can I take a moment to admit that I don't really like when dancers use the "college" thing when it's not true? It's cool to stretch the truth, etc. But, for example, this one girl at the club acts like she's going to school this summer just so she can get cheaper house fees for coming in late and so custys will give her "school money" that yes, she really just spends on drugs, alcohol, cigs, and shopping (from what she says in the dressing room and the new bags of clothes always at work)!

    It bothers me because I AM going back to school and working diligently to pay off debt and get my life together so that, when I retire from dancing, I have options instead of regrets, or worse, am forced, by default, into a life of dancing at shoddy clubs or doing "extras".

    Sorry for the semi-thread-jack... I just want to say this: Get what you can, I applaud you for that, and wish you luck.
    I completely agree with you. That must be so annoying, I was in school, now I am taking the semester off just to get my shit together. If a saw a girl getting away with this, I would just cast her off as being the ultimate scum of the earth. This woman must hate herself.

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    Senior Member NikkiWest's Avatar
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    Default Re: PL offers to pay tuition?

    You say the guy is not a huge spender at the club but that he wants to pay your tuition? It could be he's just trying to BS you to get more attention and time out of you. I look a bit on the innocent side so I easily attract the white knight variety who want to "save" me, but most of them are playing on a fantasy where they wish they could rescue me but know they can't (because they don't have the money, their wife would kill them, their parole officer would laugh at them, etc.).

    He could be genuine, he could easily pay all your tuition but if he has such money available then why doesn't he spend in the club? More to the point, if he did have it and can spend it then what does he want in return? Regardless of how shiny the mantel of the white knight, beneath it all he is a human being and people are rarely altruistic with no further intentions. If he was, I doubt he'd be in a strip club in the first place.

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    Default Re: PL offers to pay tuition?

    He's not genuine.

    Until he's spent large amounts on you in the club, NSA, perfect gentleman, over several months, it's all CS from top to bottom.

    The way to tell genuine from fake is that genuine actually cares about your anonymity, safety, security and level of comfort. Genuine is about your level of comfort, not his.

    Genuine would have also already asked you if you would like him to pay it directly to the institution (much smarter for you -- keep the cash out of your account and away from IRS scrutiny) or to you personally.

    Just one note: I know it sounds like a good test to have him pay you $20,000 in cash in the club. The problem is that even in $20 dollar bills, it's a lot bulkier than you think. It's 1,000 bills. Hold your hands about a foot and a half apart. It's that much cash. He can't reasonably carry this around without a suitcase.

    He can pay your tuition through a wire transfer, a cashier's check or a money order. If he's serious about it, he would have already discussed these options with you.

    Just wanted to give you an alternative perspective on it, that's all.

    ETA: You may have noticed that the most common emotion in posts from girls who've received major gifts from their regulars is the kind of happiness an unexpected gift brings. It's rare for them to be concerned about whether the guy is completely full of shit or just out for himself -- they've sort of gotten past that with him.

    I guess I'm saying that you need to rely on your sense of his true level of generosity. When it's real, it's all "gift-focused." The more he deviates from that via endless e-mails, professions of love, blah, blah, blah, the more you know he's gone off track. And is not genuine.
    Last edited by All Good Things; 07-22-2008 at 09:10 AM.

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    God/dess holiday's Avatar
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    Default Re: PL offers to pay tuition?

    Yep^ it really doesn't sound good. And that stuff he wrote about your "dirty and dangerous business" is annoying, it's like he doesn't have any respect for you.

    The problem is that even in $20 dollar bills, it's a lot bulkier than you think. It's 1,000 bills. Hold your hands about a foot and a half apart. It's that much cash. He can't reasonably carry this around without a suitcase.
    Actually, it's only about 8" wide, but ya, a little unreasonable to carry around.

    But: PROCEED WITH CAUTION!
    I'm confused, but the Chewbacca Truffle Shuffle cleared it up. - Emily

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    Default Re: PL offers to pay tuition?

    ^ I had a cashier once -- by mistake -- bring that exact amount to the counter and it was a good foot-and-a-half tall. Could have been 10s or 5s in there, of course, but I didn't look at it and just sent it back. So you are probably right! Thanks for the correction.

    Anyway, it's not about the money. It's about how he behaves towards the OP that is important.

    I'll duck back out of SG now. Just thought my original post would be of use to her.

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    Default Re: PL offers to pay tuition?

    when I had to bring 2k to mexico it was a good inch and a half wide. It would be an unmistakably huge wad. Maybe if they were all brand new I'd be smaller but still!


    He's already trying to guilt trip you and is trying to make it seem like he's in control, before he's even really given you very much money. Please. I doubt he really even has it. I'd challenge him on it next time he comes to the club.

    Ask him if he wants to pay what ever your hourly rate would be and if he says no say why not? Won't it be fun for y'all to hang out together, heck the money you give me for it is going straight into my college bank account anyways, so this way you get to spend time with me AND are helping getting me out of this daaaaaaangerous place.

    You don't have to word it like that obviously, but unless he's willing to pay he doesn't have tuition money. If he says he only has his credit card, "well can't you just use that and pay it off with the stuff in your savings"? I bet you'll get lots of stupid excuses. Really what do you have to lose?

  22. #22
    God/dess holiday's Avatar
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    Default Re: PL offers to pay tuition?

    Actually, TOO is right. I was wrong and thinking of 20,000 in $100 bills not $20 bills. He's right, it'd be thick, a suitcase. I stand corrected. Fun to think about though.
    I'm confused, but the Chewbacca Truffle Shuffle cleared it up. - Emily

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    Default Re: PL offers to pay tuition?

    I don't like how you refer to the men who are giving you substantial amounts of money as "pathetic losers." We all bitch out the non-spenders, where the appreciation for the ones who do spend?

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    God/dess ViolaStrings's Avatar
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    Default Re: PL offers to pay tuition?

    ^ We hate all customers. That's why they have to pay us.

  25. #25
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    Default Re: PL offers to pay tuition?

    Wow........ I don't hate most of my customers.

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