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Thread: Ughh..My First Night ..Help!

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    Featured Member txchick008's Avatar
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    Default Ughh..My First Night ..Help!

    Well, my first night at The Men's Club (Dallas) did not go so well. I spent a lot of the afternoon here on SW, reading tips on how to hustle, how to dance, how to relax....etc. I felt really confident all day. I spent a lot of time getting ready, and made the 40-minute drive to the club. I sat in the parking lot for about 2 minutes, giving myself a pep talk.

    I walked in, finished my in-house paperwork (I had been fingerprinted the day before). I was taken back to the dressing room and kinda dumped there. The man who had me do my paperwork was not friendly. Didn't introduce me to any girls or the housemom. In fact, there were only 4 or 5 dancers there. It was 5pm on a Saturday. No lockers until you've worked there for 1 week. I quickly got dressed and headed out onto the main floor. I was then taken back to the office again, where I met another manager (I guess he was the main guy for the evening). SUPER nice. Very understanding when I asked if I could just hang out for a bit and "take it all in", before going up on stage. I also found out there is NO floorwork. That is fine by me, since I don't know an ounce of it.....but I also found out, you are up on main stage for TWO songs. The first one, you are clothed...the 2nd, you are not.

    I wanted to watch the dancers on stage and off, to see how they danced and what the lap dances looked like. He introduced me to the bartender & waitstaff, again, VERY friendly, and I felt quite alright at this point. Then, he introduced me to a dancer and things started happening very quickly. Apparently, some Persian-looking men (about 5 of them) had come in, giving the valet $200+. The waitress gave the dancer a heads up that they "had money", and the dancer literally grabbed my hand and pulled me over to their table, putting me on one of their laps (YIKES!). I really wasn't ready for this. I know that this is expected and I would be dancing and taking my clothes off...that is what I signed up for. I just wasn't ready to do this, 5 minutes out of the dressing room on my 1st night.....I sat awkwardly in this guy's lap. He was nice, but had a lit cigarette with the smoke going directly in my face. I sipped on a rum & Coke (I haven't had a drink in 7 months, but the manager asked if I wanted one, and my legs were shaking like crazy!). The alcohol didn't go so well. My face got really hot, and my legs were even more like jelly...I felt sick. I had only finished 1/2 of the drink.

    The other dancer started giving lap-dances for these guys, but I just wasn't ready. I excused myself to the bar, and sat back down. I honestly felt like all I needed was about 30 minutes to just "get ready". Get acclimated and get my mind straight. Not 2 minutes later, a woman is waving me over. I smile and wave, but I was like a deer in headlights. She ends up coming up to the bar to talk to me, drunk as hell. She is in her 50's or 60's, and wants me to dance. I explained I was new, and just needed a few minutes....She proceeded to try to dance for me, grab my arms...etc. It made me feel really uncomfortable. She was saying, "I am so horny!". I knew I needed to "take control" of the situation, but just couldn't. (THAT IS SO UNLIKE ME!)

    While THIS is going on, another man walks up, kisses my hand, and tries to lead me OUTSIDE (they have a pool area), to dance for him. I was feeling extrememly overwhelmed, being pulled left and right. I felt like bolting. I had an awkward trek, out to the pool with him, but with it being 102 degrees out there, I didn't stay long. He also asked me to go IN THE POOL with him (is he serious?!). My mind started racing at this point. Instead of sitting up at the bar, observing, and preparing myself mentally, to hit the stage in a few songs....I was contemplating leaving. I was feeling SO uncomfortbale. The Persian guy that I had sat with, also was waiting back up at the bar for me. I had never asked him if he wanted me to dance - because honestly, I hadn't really figured it out yet!

    Finally, the manager came back around, and checked on me. We went back into the office, and I told him how I was feeling. He said I am not the first girl to feel this way...and he agreed that things were happening too fast. He suggested I wear my street clothes, and then observe (and I wouldn't be approached for dances). I got dressed, and he also brought over their "top" girl. Her name was Sasha. Super-nice lady, very classy. She told me the story of her 1st night, and it mirrored mine! She ended up leaving on her 1st night as well, scared out of her mind. I REALLY liked her. I also got to talk with the housemom who is a sweetheart as well. I told them I would come back tomorrow. Sundays are supposed to be really dead. And I'm more concerned with GETTING COMFORTABLE in the club, rather than walking with 100's of dollars. I can worry about that later.

    I came home and spilled the night's events to my husband (through tears). He told me if I hated it, not to go back. He also has to work tomorrow night, so if I went in, I'd only be able to be there from 4pm-9pm (but maybe that would be a good amount of time to get broken in?).

    I feel as if I have failed. We need money SO BAD right now. I was laid off back in May, and we have a very expensive home and the bills have PILED UP. I feel like I am failing my family. We can't even grocery shop. We could have REALLY used that cash, and the manager told me that I was one of the only "Barbie" doll types and would have expected me to make $500 by 10pm. And from the looks of it, I believed him...I think I would have seriously banked, if I wasn't such a wuss. What is wrong with me!?!?

    I just don't understand why I reacted the way I did. It was so out of character for me. Before this, I worked in the corporate world (sales). I did international business everyday and was a firm, strong businesswoman. I was a top salesperson. I really asserted myself with men and woman alike, and figured I would suceed at THIS.

    I am open to hearing what you all think of my (mis)adventure. What I may have done wrong, what I could do better? I know I probably should have stayed and stuck it out longer. I might have, but by the end I had a headache SO BAD (from stress). One of those headaches that is inside and behind your eye...I thought I would die and/or throw up. I just wanted out. Looking back, I just don't know what to make of it all.

    Help!

    PS: Sorry I didn't post this as a reply on my older post. Wasn't sure if it would be read by very many people that way. If it needs to be moved elsewhere, I understand.

    Thanks again for any and all advice. Also, if I don't go in tonight, from 4-9pm (not sure if they will even let me do that), I am not able to work night shift again until Thursday/Friday. I could work a dayshift Mon-Wed if I wanted...
    Last edited by txchick008; 07-20-2008 at 05:44 AM. Reason: spacing
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    Default Re: Ughh..My First Night ..Help!

    Before i forget, I dont think they will let you work 4-9pm,but if it's dead you might call ahead and negotiate that.

    What you experienced sounds like anxiety. It sounds like you were haing a panic attack. I have been dancing for 4 years and still need my first 15-20min of a shift to sit by myself and get acclimated for the night (i also have a glass of wine but, i can work w/o it too). It sounds like you would have done/ and will do really well too. I don't think you did anything wrong, however being more assertive about having your time by yourself until you are ready will help.Go to the dr, bathroom, bar- and just sit and breathe. Give it another try. After awhile you won't feel this way, but next time stay and face it so it will only get easier.

    Oh, and the guy was serious about the pool! Girls are allowed to swim while working...something I would charge more for if I were you!

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    Member torchemily's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ughh..My First Night ..Help!

    I'm sorry you had such a bad night, the first night usually is. After looking at your little picture from the post, I totally agree with the manager that you are capable of making $500/night, if not more. Since you were in sales, you'll catch on pretty quickly about selling dances & hustling. You just need to get comfortable with the environment, that's all. You didn't fail. My first night as a dancer I made exactly $1. I came home in tears too. I know that you said how you & your husband really need the money, and that can make it even harder to focus when you're trying to do something new. But don't give up. Give it another shot. Oh, and there is nothing wrong with giving yourself 30mins or an hour to get into character (I always take at least 20mins). And once you figure out your character or persona, it will be a lot easier. You were in sales, and this job is sales also. It is VERY similar to what you already know, just different techniques. Give yourself some time to learn them. You'll do fine, give it another shot.

    p.s. You guys have a pool! That is so cool!

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    Default Re: Ughh..My First Night ..Help!

    I'm soo sorry to hear about your night. But it's alright. Shit happens and we all get super nervous. My 1st night dancing I made only $20, and left after 3 hours. But you'll get the hang of it. I promise. And the other girls are right. It's nothing wrong with giving yourself some time to get yourself ready. Just relax..and make sure that you be stern. You do have a right to say no, if you're not comfortable being around a customer because their acting like an ass.

    You just have to get comfortable being a dancer and being in the environment. It's gonna take some time. It may even take a few weeks but once you get to that level of comfort you'll be able to sell/hustle without any problems. Just hang in there. You will get better. I promise.

    And the club you're at has a fuckin pool! That's awesome.
    Last edited by MissNicole21; 07-20-2008 at 09:35 AM.

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    Default Re: Ughh..My First Night ..Help!

    Woman! You are going to do GREAT!

    But really just try to take it easy on yourself. You have high expectations for yourself (which you should) but your putting that pressure on yourself too soon. Give yourself some time before you start expecting to make that kind of moolah.

    Take it one step at a time so you can get accustomed to it.

    I will say though that getting naked on stage for the first time and getting your first private show is not going to be easy. But once you get that first rush over the second time won't seem as bad... and the third... and the fourth... it'll just keep getting easier until eventually one night you'll find that you really don't give a shit that your naked, you just want your money!!!!

    Give yourself a few weeks at least to reach your expectations. No one (minus a few exceptions) gets good at something over night. But from what it sounds like its not going to take you very long

    BTW... saturdays tend to be a crazy night for dancing... try going in sometime before friday to work... I think you'll find it a bit more relaxed. Ask your manager or the other girls which night is the slowest... slow nights are great nights to observe hustle

    2nd BTW Your club sounds nice!

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    Featured Member keira0304's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ughh..My First Night ..Help!

    you're going to do awesome, if you were already getting whisked away to a group of high rollers and asked for dances early on a saturday night... you'll have no problem making money.

    definitely go in on a slow shift... a sunday or monday night, and get yourself acclimated. don't drink if it makes you feel sick !!! you'll do fine.

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    Default Re: Ughh..My First Night ..Help!

    You are hot! You're lucky that people were coming up to you for dances...trying to hustle dances during your first nights are NOT fun.

    Sometimes I freak about being a "stripper", but I do a really good job of disconnecting club me from home me. Like, I am NOT the same person at the club than I am at home. It really helps to just put my stripper face on and talk to everyone and be the crazy, young, party girl, even if inside I'm either bored to tears or scared shitless.

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    Featured Member txchick008's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ughh..My First Night ..Help!

    Thank you for all of the encouraging replies! I am going to give it another shot. I'm headed back today to work the dayshift. It's a Monday, and the dayshift is 11am-6pm, so I think it'll be a lot more laid back than Saturday night.

    For some reason, I do feel more confident today. I am *very* much a morning/afternoon person - rather than a night person. In the evenings, I'm tired, cranky, and feel like veggin' out. Day shift might be for me. I also know what to expect this time around, as far as the set-up of the club goes, and I've met (and like!) the staff, etc.

    Plus, all the things you ladies said to me - that I was just nervous and I will do well! It really helped me, more than you know

    I also practiced dancing for the hubby last night...gave him 2 lap dances, which he said were perfect! He said not to worry so much about amazing "moves", he said most guys are going to just be staring at my boobs or butt anyhow! (gotta love him, hahaha!).

    I was really surpised how weak and tired my legs were (and I only did 2 dances, wore the shoes maybe 20 minutes). How do you ladies deal with that? My legs turned to jelly and would wobble from being sore. I have serious back problems, and my back killed me! I think I will have to do a lot of sitting down, if I'm going to make it 7 hours!

    I'll let you know what happened later this evening when I get home! I am sticking it out and staying the whole shift. Eeek! Here goes nothin'!
    Kamryn
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    Default Re: Ughh..My First Night ..Help!

    Looking forward to finding out about your night! Sounds like you are gonna be just fine, Good luck.

    You will get used to the shoes and soreness of legs, etc. It takes a few weeks though.

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    Member Skye917's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ughh..My First Night ..Help!

    I still have to be pushed into striper mode.. Thank god my manager understands that... She's always saying "Skye, why dont you ask him for a a dance?".. What I'm saying is that It will take some time to be into it completly, but once you are the money will be there with you!! Good luck today, and dont feel pressured to do anything your not ready for!!

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    Default Re: Ughh..My First Night ..Help!

    deleted.
    Last edited by Brendita; 10-12-2008 at 04:37 PM.

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    Default Re: Ughh..My First Night ..Help!

    Working day shift sounds like the answer for you. You can get used to the club environment at your own pace, and then move to nights when you're ready. I hate Saturdays, too, and find them overstimulating, so that's definitely not a fail for a total newbie. Best of luck and I bet today goes much better for you.

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    Veteran Member princessparis's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ughh..My First Night ..Help!

    Don't forget to stretch after work too!!!

    15 minutes of yoga when I got home helped me TREMENDOUSLY i felt like a ray of sunshine when i get up in the morning rather than a bent piece of metal...

    Even though i had stretched before work, the additional release of all the lactic acid at night will make a huge difference for you the next day.

    Dancing is a workout... not a walk in the park! Make sure to treat it that way and your body will thank you

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    Featured Member txchick008's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ughh..My First Night ..Help!

    My first day went fantastic! Wow, what a change from my experience on Saturday evening!!! I walked out with $510, for 5 hours of work! Not bad for a "slow" Monday afternoon. I am still SO excited, and on some sort of natural high! Here is how the day broke down:

    11:00am - Arrive at the club, checked in, went in the back and got dressed. Chatted it up with one of the girls who worked there (she turned out to be a waitress, but gave me excellent tips). I had my "game face" on, and smiled at everyone, said Hi to everyone...Ran into my first few snobs. There were a few girls I would say hello too, and they would simply keep walking! Oh well. I figured that would happen anyhow. I remained confident this time around, and just wrote them off, continuing to be upbeat.

    11:30am: Out on the floor. The club opens at 11am, so no one was really there yet. Apparently, on slow Mondays, they don't start stage rotation until about 12. I sat with the day manager and one other dancer and talked. All 3 of us went into VIP, and they had me get on the VIP stage (no one was in there), and "test out the stage". I felt awkward and had no rhythm whatsoever. I watched the other dancer, but she was 18, and danced FAST to techno (not my thing, nor would it ever be). Instead, I got back up and just found my own groove with some classic rock and 80's rock. Slow, sensual, etc. Danced 2 songs up there and then came back down. I was feeling OK. Nervous, but still confident.

    12:00 - Stage rotations begin, I ask to go up 2nd. I want to get it over with. Plus, the place is still empty, it's only just starting to fill up with the lunch rush. My heart is racing while I was waiting behind the door to the stage....deep breaths...total dry-mouth! I did not want to panic. My legs were shaky, so I took my shoes off for the entire song that was played before I was called. I think this helped! They called my name, I put my shoes back on, and just went out with a huge smile. I was laughing at myself in my head, which made me feel way less panicky. I looked at myself move in the mirrors, and that helped also. I didn't look too shabby! I probably looked like a total noob, but I am! I just kept the huge smile on my face and made it through the 2nd song as well (without my top). I almost felt more confident with my top off - since I think my boobs are my biggest asset. I didn't get tipped at all on stage that first time. (I found out later, this club is not big on tipping on stage, you make all your $$$ on lapdances).

    12:30pm - Sit down with my first table. 2 young guys. I made small talk for about 1 song, intending to try a dance hustle after the song is over. Well, before I could ask them if they wanted a dance, one of them asked me! I said of course, and took him to the back for 2 dances. Yah! $40! I was pumped. Their food had arrived by the time we got back to the table, so I left them alone to eat. I stood up, and as I walked across the room, had a $20 sticking out at me. I talked to the man giving it to me, and he told me to go into VIP and give a dance to his friend. I went back to VIP, gave him a dance (he was a good-looking youngish business man, not at all anything to be weirded out over). He was funny, polite, and a pleasure to dance for. He made me feel very comfy. His friend that had paid for the dance, came back there as I was dressing....told me to give him another dance, and gave me $40.00! I danced for him again, and then had to get back on stage. We only had about 10 girls, so I was going up on stage about once an hour! This was great for getting over my stage fright.

    1:00-1:30: On stage, the man that had been paying for the VIP dances for his friend, came up and tipped me $20.00. When I got off stage, I went to sit with him and his friends, who wereon the main floor. One of the girls told me, "they are high-rollers, they pay of the dancers here $1500 everytime they come in". I didn't really believe that, but who knows!

    1:30-4:30 - I spent the next 3 hours sitting at the table with these guys. There were 3 of them. They are apparently high-rolling regulars, and the manager sat with us also. They had also walked in with another dancer (in her street clothes);. Apparently she hangs out with them OTC. They bought lots of food, shots, and drinks. I declined drinks over and over again (haven't drank in 7 months, and used to have a drinking problem), but the drunker they got, the more they wanted me to drink. I finally ordered one to appease them, and just sipped it slowly. That seemed to work out. I gave them 2-3 dances per hour, and was paid $100 here, $200 there, and so on. It was amazing!

    4:30pm - I left around this time. This was the earliest you could leave, but I was ready. I was incredibly sore, and because of the lack of dancers, I had been on stage so many times, and given a lot of dances (for a newbie!). My head ached, and my body screamed! I didn't count my money until I was almost home....I was just so excited! I stopped and paid my nanny everything I owed her, and picked up dinner for the whole family. That felt amazing. I felt like I DIDN'T let my family down....I came through! I drove home thinking I made maybe $300-400, so when it turned out to be over $500, I just went ballistic!

    I am not sure how much I would have made had it not been for the table of those wealthy custies. Looking around the club, alot of the older/not so in shape dancers were sitting at the bar most of the day, looking pissed. There WERE other customers, and some girls were making money, but it didn't look like that much. Then again, I was distracted, so I don't really know for sure. I have a feeling if it wasn't for the table I had, I may have made only $200 or so. Hopefully this great first day doesn't set me up for disappointment when I walk with much less. Which I KNOW will happen.

    Wednesday is supposed to be their busiest day shift. It's the buffet-day, and the place is supposed to be filled to capacity. That will be interesting! I would say there was about 20 customers when I worked Monday. Seeing the place filled with 100's of people will be wild! I am not at all nervous about the stage OR giving dances anymore. I do need more practice hustling (since I didn't have to do too much of it). I think Wednesday will be a whole new learning experience. Or maybe I'll luck out with some VIP guys again! LOL!

    So...phew! That's my story! I can't wait to go back. SO sore though. I woke up this morning feeling like I was beaten with a baseball bat. I had no idea how out of shape I was! Before work, I had stretched and everything....and took a Vicodin at about noon, (for my back). Took a hot bath and had hubby rub my feet and back after work also....but wow. Still hurtin! I hope I'm OK for Wednesday!
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    Default Re: Ughh..My First Night ..Help!

    See, I told you that you would do awesome the 2nd time around. Now that you're getting into the swing of things and feel more comfy and confident, everything you just did in that one night, you will be able to do without any problems. I'm so happy for you.

    As far as the pain, thats another thing that you'll have to get used at. But it will get better. Just like princessparis said, make sure that you do stretches before you go into work and after your shift. That should make you feel better.

    Overall, if you keep it up you might be on your way to becoming a top earner!

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    Veteran Member princessparis's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ughh..My First Night ..Help!

    TxChick I will cyber-spank your ass if you don't stretch after work! Bad girl! tehehehe j/k (or am i?)

    Anyways, you might want to think about stretching at work too.. soreness comes from a build up of lactic acid in your muscles which is most easily relieved through stretching. (and drinking water!!! .... esp. if you've been drinking alchey!)

    It was awesome to read about your good day! It makes me re-live my own first night.

    As for how well you'll do after this... well the worst thing that can happen to you is to get lucky your first try... that's the way it is with any profession of chance :gambling, the stock market... and yes, stripping is a game of chance SOMETIMES.... but it's also making the most of what chances you get!!!!

    You should use that knowledge to try even harder the next time you go to work and as long as you keep trying harder every day you'll soon be raking it in in buckets... even on slow days.

    Your going to do so fantastic you don't even know yet... keep workin it!

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    Default Re: Ughh..My First Night ..Help!

    Good for you! You're really pretty (from your avatar) and I hear the barbie doll look does really well up in Dallas. I'm glad you're sticking with it and you've gotten through the hardest part. Now all you have to do is refine your dancing, develop a hustle that works for you and make money

    Animals are my friends, and I don't eat my friends.
    - George Bernard Shaw

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    Default Re: Ughh..My First Night ..Help!

    That's great; I figured it would be an easier adjustment. Excellent job!

    Here's something about drinks: talk to the waitresses and bartenders and create your own virgin drink or shot that you can order. If you had a drinking problem you don't want to get in the habit of drinking at work, and it's easy enough to "appease" the customers with a vodka cranberry that's cranberry and soda.

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    Featured Member txchick008's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ughh..My First Night ..Help!

    Well, my 2nd shift was a success! I went in a little later in the day (12:30), and stayed til 4:30pm. Made over $300, so I was happy. Hell, 4 hours of work isn't much! I had a bit of an anxiety attack the first time I went on stage (the place was PACKED, completely different than my 1st slow Monday, so I was nervous). I was shaking so bad, the guys who were tipping me commented on it. I ended up wasting an hour of my time, just sitting with someone and eating. I probably could have made another $100 in that hour, hustling, but I just couldn't. I took it easy and pulled it together instead....continued through til 4:30pm. Phew!
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    Default Re: Ughh..My First Night ..Help!

    Quote Originally Posted by Susan Wayward View Post
    That's great; I figured it would be an easier adjustment. Excellent job!

    Here's something about drinks: talk to the waitresses and bartenders and create your own virgin drink or shot that you can order. If you had a drinking problem you don't want to get in the habit of drinking at work, and it's easy enough to "appease" the customers with a vodka cranberry that's cranberry and soda.
    Oh! Yes-someone else told me about that also. That the bartender will just make me "fake" cocktails. Awesome idea Today wasn't bad as far as people pressuring me to drink, so I was happy! I stuck to my water, and drinking more water seems to be helping me with my headaches too - so it's a win-win
    Kamryn
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