I swayed away from my rule of generally not getting to know customers outside of the club. I was in a different city working for an extended time, and developed a quick and deep friendship with a customer. Since I really didn't have any friends in the city, I happily agreed to meet him outside the club. I did have my guard up, and didn't include dancing/money exchange/sleeping with him as part of our experience. I decided that would come in the future if it were meant to be. Since he'd met me at the club, I was even more adament about developing friendship FIRST.
He had some baggage to take care of before I was comfortable moving forward with anything. As for me, I had some myself, as well as a relationship that I'm currently in, but not completely devoted to (obviously). No secret there, but just generally keep the information to myself. But, after meeting pretty often and talking on the phone, etc., I ended up moving back to my own city.
This guy ended up completely disrespecting my boundaries. Every time I would reach out, it felt like my arm was being yanked off. I truly began to care about this guy, but he ended up suffocating me any time I tried to actually work on our relationship. He started driving to my city, staying the wknd in my city, yet sometimes not even seeing me...no consideration that I may have an opinion about seeing him during the weekend. Instead he'd just barge into my world.
The red flag, though, was when he ended up reading that I'm a nurse (I'm assuming that was the giveaway), and putting things together on internet sites. Stripperweb being one of them, along with TUSCL (I posted a few times there in the discussion section). He learned things about me (even though I thought I covered my identity well, but see I left clubs where I worked and nursing info) and I feel very violated. He'd found the location where I grew up (150 miles away from my current living), and sent flowers at Christmas to my home. At the time, I tried to overlook that. Anyone could do a background check and find that kind of info, and he was really trying to be nice and reach out, as I gave him credit. He wanted to be a part during Christmas, but hey, he ended up visiting a tourist site about 20 miles from my hometown that very Christmas weekend too...though he was probably 350 miles+ from his home.
I wonder what else he's done to violate me that I don't know about. I mean, I know about these things. I feel pretty dumb, and actually sad about the whole situation.
I usually think of myself as very careful and thoughful about people. I saw the good in this extremely "nice" guy, and chose to make him a friend (and I give my friends the benefit of the doubt by trusting them). I closed all ties to the club with him, and put that behind us. That was a mistake.
I just wanted to share this with others as a reminder that you can do all the right things regarding establishing a "true" relationship with a customer (OTC), and it still might turn into a nightmare. I firmly believe that it's best to keep business where it belongs, and if you are open to meeting OTC, save yourself the pain, and keep that business too if you are so inclined to do that kind of thing. Just my perspective.



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