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Thread: What was I supposed to do?

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    Featured Member keira0304's Avatar
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    Default What was I supposed to do?

    Tonight at the club around midnight a big group came in, a mixed group of guys and girls dressed in those ed hardy tee shirts and coach purses and all tanned and super fit... body builders/models maybe?? They were from tampa and came in a limo, they were in their 20's. The VIP host put them in the champagne room, and they asked for the 5 best girls, so the VIP host grabbed me, 1 other brunette and 3 blondes. We went over and introduced ourselves, but it was really awkward, they were all drinking, and I couldn't and don't so I felt left out. They weren't really talking about anything, just bragging about themselves and their company (i never really caught exactly what it was). We were still all standing in a circle at this point and one of the guys (the one with the money) made all the girls turn around and show them their asses. I was wearing a gown, so I just turned around, because the point of a gown is to cover up and still look sexy, if they want to see what's underneath they buy a dance! Me turning around and showing my ass wasn't good enough so they made the other girls lift my dress up... it was just embarassing.... like I was a freaking piece of meat.

    Then the VIP host comes over because the main guy called him, and was asking the host to get his camera out of the limo, and then I heard the VIP host saying something like, "if you need assistance expunging girls or you want new ones just let me know".. which really made me feel like shit because I don't want to be judged by them. The black guy in the group, who was dressed like a gangster with a gold diamond encrusted jesus head around his neck wanted a dance from me, so I danced for him. It was a very awkward space to be dancing in, it is a U-shaped booth with a square table in the middle, you've got about 1 square foot to dance in, if that. I was really nervous, but i don't think I did *that* bad, and when it was over the guy whispered to the main guy, and I think they said something along the lines of they didn't like me and they want a different girl.

    so... I felt unwanted and uncomfortable so I got dressed and stepped out of the booth and asked for my money for the dance. The guy gave me a 100 dollar bill. The girl next to me was dancing for the main guy, we were giving the same kind of dance, same moves, everything, nothing different except us, and he handed her a 100 dollar bill as well, and he saw me see that he gave her a 100. He told me, give me 40 in change back, oh wait no... give me 60... you know what, just give me 80 and go get a different girl for me. So I said okay, and just took his 100 and walked off.

    Is that bad to take his 100? He was a total douchebag, and embarassed me and made me feel uncomfortable, and if he's flashing his money around that much he doesn't deserve it.... so the extra 80 for one humiliating dance was asshole tax.

    but seriously, how was I supposed to be comfortable walking up to a group of 15 or so superficial materialistic flashy douchebags?? I don't see how girls can assimilate so easily into ANY situation with any customer and make it look so easy... is it because they drink while doing it??

    oh yeah, and scenario #2:

    husband and wife approach me with 15 minutes left to the night and want to do a VIP room. I tell them they're only for half hours, and i ask the vip host if we can do a 15 minute one, he says that they take 50 out of it so it wouldnt be worth it, but we can go in the vip room anyways to do dances since the floor was so crowded. We get in the VIP room and there are 2 songs left to the night, i start dancing, and instantly.... husbands hand up wife's short dress, pulls her boob out of her dress and starts sucking it while im dancing for her, he is fingering her and she's moaning and she's wearing thigh high black boots and waving her legs everywhere... i thought for sure the host was going to come over... but no. I was so stunned I just kept dancing like nothing was happening, facing away... i mean.. if they want to do that, it's not illegal for THEM to do it right?? gah. I honestly don't know what i could have said or done to prevent them from doing that........ugh. I got 40 bucks out of them for just pretty much witnessing their attempt to have sex in public.
    "Life and death, energy and peace. If I stop today it was still worth it. Even the terrible mistakes that I made and would have unmade if I could. The pains that have burned me and scarred my soul, it was worth it, for having been allowed to walk where I've walked, which was to hell on earth, heaven on earth, back again, into, under, far in between, through it, in it, and above."

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    Default Re: What was I supposed to do?

    If you're not comfortable......... leave. It's a lesson that I took too long to learn but there are guys I'm 100% happy to dance for and the 5% I hate dancing for are worth losing 5% income because it's improves my job quality drastically, if that makes sense. Also dancing for guys I hate puts me in a bad mood which messes with my hustle for the rest of the night.

    Yeah, you were technically wrong not to give change but I don't think anyone would really care. I mean, he's an asshole. There are too many nice people in this world getting screwed for me to care about assholes getting screwed.

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    Default Re: What was I supposed to do?

    i dont think it was ok to take the guys change. i might have done it. but i dunno. he doesnt owe you anything more than the price of the dances, regardless of what he gave other girls or if you felt uncomfortable. i dont really think he did anything WRONG, it was just the situation that made you feel weird.

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    Featured Member keira0304's Avatar
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    Default Re: What was I supposed to do?

    what he did wrong was being a dick and telling his friend that they should get a different dancer because they didn't like me right in front of me, and making a show out of looking at my ass to see if i was up to their "standards"

    and also, it wasn't his change. he didn't know what he wanted back, first he said 40, then he said 60, then 80, it was a game for him, he was just trying to see how far he could push it. I need the money more than he does, so I didn't feel bad taking it, I just didn't want to get in trouble.
    "Life and death, energy and peace. If I stop today it was still worth it. Even the terrible mistakes that I made and would have unmade if I could. The pains that have burned me and scarred my soul, it was worth it, for having been allowed to walk where I've walked, which was to hell on earth, heaven on earth, back again, into, under, far in between, through it, in it, and above."

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    Default Re: What was I supposed to do?

    well, if you didn't feel bad, i guess that's all that matters. you asked if it was "bad" and i think that yes, it was a bad decision.

    but using your logic.. there are a hell of a lot of people in the world who need the money you made tonight more than you do.

  6. #6
    Peanut_Butter
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    Default Re: What was I supposed to do?

    Your taking it to personally. Think of your looks, your dances and yoru stripper persona as your product. Your real personality is hidden from them because it isn't for sale. If they reject you, they are simply rejecting the product you offered for sale ( dances and stripper persona) they didn't reject YOU, because they never saw who "you" were, as you keep that hidden.

    Because to these guys..you are just a product. A means to have fun. If you were in a restaurant and ordered dinner and the chef brought the plate out and it totally wasn't what you expected or wanted, would you eat it anyway just to be polite or ask to send it back? You would be rejecting his product, btu ti isnt anythign personal, you just want what you want and what you are paying for.

    I'm not excusign their rude behavior, it's never acceptable to treat a person as less than human..but that's what they do. So sinc eyou cant change them, all you can do is change how you handle the situation and change how you allow it to make you feel.

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    God/dess VegasPrincess's Avatar
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    Default Re: What was I supposed to do?

    Okay, honey, several things.

    1. Did you do anything wrong in the moral sense of the word? Not at all. Guy was an asshole.

    2. Should you have done that? No. The guy was obviously in with the managers and what not and the last thing you need is to get in trouble for stealing.

    3. Again these guys were ASSHOLES to you right? WTF do you care if they're "judging" you or what they think about you?

    4. They probably were POed about the whole dress lifting thing. You are not a piece of meat! That said, when you are at work, you ARE a piece of meat. Or you pretend to act like one. Honestly, that's a lesson I learned really late in the game and wish I would have learned it earlier.

    5. You're a beautiful, kind hearted girl. That's you. In the club, that's NOT you. You're another person, a stone cold hustler who is all out for herself. Make the distenction when you walk in the door. It will save you lots of heart ache in the end.

    6. I wish that I would have had SW when I was your age, not to sound like an old lady, but I really didn't figure out the game til I was dancing for four years at 22. So take that for what it's worth.
    Sexy Jasmine after getting fucked over at work:

    God loves strippers and when guys do things like that its an automatic ticket to HELL!


    Quote Originally Posted by anomar View Post
    Perhaps you stopped spending money on her. Strippers need money to operate. They are like coin operated juke-boxes of love.

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    God/dess Andygirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: What was I supposed to do?

    Fuck it. You were probably wrong for taking his money, but I hate hate hate assholes like that. It's hilarious to me that you say they were wearing that ugly ass, overpriced Ed Hardy shit. If there's a douchebag uniform it's Ed Hardy or Affliction brands. Seriously. I have never met someone wearing that shit who wasn't a complete ass. People who wear brands to be cool are just the opposite, IMO.

    And I'm sorry about the couple. That's just icky.

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    God/dess Andygirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: What was I supposed to do?

    Quote Originally Posted by VegasPrincess View Post
    4. They probably were POed about the whole dress lifting thing. You are not a piece of meat! That said, when you are at work, you ARE a piece of meat. Or you pretend to act like one. Honestly, that's a lesson I learned really late in the game and wish I would have learned it earlier.
    I've been dancing on and off for 14 years and the day I allow someone to order me around and treat me like a piece of meat is the day I'll quit forever.

    5. You're a beautiful, kind hearted girl. That's you. In the club, that's NOT you. You're another person, a stone cold hustler who is all out for herself. Make the distenction when you walk in the door. It will save you lots of heart ache in the end.
    It's not one or the other. You can still hustle and be a decent human being. I've been doing it for a long ass time. In fact, being a kind-hearted person has made me a lot of money over the years. You can't fake sincerity, and luckily I don't have to.

    But I'm in Indianapolis and you are in Vegas, maybe you can't be kind and still make money there. I don't know.
    Last edited by Andygirl; 07-27-2008 at 01:44 AM.

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    Default Re: What was I supposed to do?

    Scenario #1 - those guys WERE douchebags. But the reality of this biz is that we're there to pretend we're 'girls gone wild'. No matter how 'upscale' a clubs image may be, lets not fool ourselves, we're still playing into the cheap, easy, fun girl male fantasy. Frankly, I think the reason they got rid of you so fast was because by not playing the cheap slutty role, they assumed you'd be too uptight to have fun with, therefore not worth spending $ on.

    I'm not saying BE slutty, but next time you get meatheads like this, just PLAY dumb. Your wallet will thank you.

    Option B - if you can't act the part, don't bother trying to fit in, and just move on to a different type of customer.


    #2) Yeah, doesn't sound like a pretty sight! On the upside, at least he kept his fingers in his wife and not in you.

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    Featured Member Sveta's Avatar
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    Default Re: What was I supposed to do?

    I don't think it was wrong to take his money. I would have done the same thing. Like you said, asshole tax. It was risky (you might have gotten in trouble), but he totally deserved it.
    ~'A Seven Nation Army Couldn't Hold Me Back'~

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    Default Re: What was I supposed to do?

    Quote Originally Posted by keira0304 View Post
    if they want to do that, it's not illegal for THEM to do it right?? gah.
    yes it is .

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    Default Re: What was I supposed to do?

    I don't know state or even country specific but sex acts are completely prohibited where I am from, even if it's between two married custies. I got in trouble once for letting 2 girls I was dancing for kiss each other.

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    Veteran Member BabyGirlKylie's Avatar
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    Default Re: What was I supposed to do?

    Aside from the original question about taking the extra money (totally justifiable in my opinion) I have to comment on something else you said....
    When you mentioned how the girls in the group were young and tan and carrying coach purses....I understand why you were uncomfortable dancing for them. Something weird happens to me when I meet girls in the club who are young, pretty and rich. Some part of my brain just turns off. You know, the confident part that would usually think "I'm young and hot and have a better ass and I make a ton of money too!" Confidence=gone.
    I went up to a group of kids who were all graduating law school ( I say kids cuz they were younger then me haha). They went to a preppy school, were all dressed up, carrying real Gucci and Louis Vuiton purses. I was intimidated. And I am never intimidated. I knew they never worked a day in their life, and were going on to high-paying jobs, summers in France, blah blah blah. I could NOT dance for them.
    I complimented one girl on her dress and she said "oh yeah, I got it at Bebe. Have you heard of it?" I was like "oh yeah!I just bought a couple dresses there last week!" She looked at me like I was full of shit, as if she didn't believe I could afford Bebe. WTF.
    So yeah, I totally get where you are coming from
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    Default Re: What was I supposed to do?

    Quote Originally Posted by BabyGirlKylie View Post
    I complimented one girl on her dress and she said "oh yeah, I got it at Bebe. Have you heard of it?"
    What an idiot. "Why no, I have not heard of this store that's so cutting edge it's in EVERY SINGLE MALL IN AMERICA you condescending cunt." WTF, did she think BeBe = Fred Segel or some shit?

    Quote Originally Posted by keira0304 View Post
    I don't see how girls can assimilate so easily into ANY situation with any customer and make it look so easy... is it because they drink while doing it?
    Absolutely not. I mean, the group you described sounded like shitheads, but being able to relate to and work with all types of people, including and especially rich assholes, is part of any good stripper's toolkit, and will come with some experience and work, not an increased level of intoxication.

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    Senior Member punkpixie001's Avatar
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    Default Re: What was I supposed to do?

    About the money thing, oh well. If the manager ever asks about that I would just say I didn't hear him. Or tell him you were told to find another girl so that was your fee, haha.

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    God/dess shasta's Avatar
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    Default Re: What was I supposed to do?

    If you got 100 bucks from that crowd, that 100 dollars more than I ever have been able to get.

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    Featured Member txchick008's Avatar
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    Default Re: What was I supposed to do?

    Quote Originally Posted by britt244 View Post
    well, if you didn't feel bad, i guess that's all that matters. you asked if it was "bad" and i think that yes, it was a bad decision.
    I agree. The guy does sound like a total douche (not to mention very disrespectful), but I don't think taking the extra money was the right thing to do.

    It would be nice if we could all take an $80 "asshole" tax on all the jerks in the club - hell, we'd all be a lot richer!
    Last edited by txchick008; 07-27-2008 at 05:09 AM.
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    Default Re: What was I supposed to do?

    Quote Originally Posted by Peanut_Butter View Post
    Your taking it to personally. Think of your looks, your dances and yoru stripper persona as your product. Your real personality is hidden from them because it isn't for sale. If they reject you, they are simply rejecting the product you offered for sale ( dances and stripper persona) they didn't reject YOU, because they never saw who "you" were, as you keep that hidden.

    Because to these guys..you are just a product. A means to have fun. If you were in a restaurant and ordered dinner and the chef brought the plate out and it totally wasn't what you expected or wanted, would you eat it anyway just to be polite or ask to send it back? You would be rejecting his product, btu ti isnt anythign personal, you just want what you want and what you are paying for.

    I'm not excusign their rude behavior, it's never acceptable to treat a person as less than human..but that's what they do. So sinc eyou cant change them, all you can do is change how you handle the situation and change how you allow it to make you feel.


    I think got it right on the nail PB.
    Good job.

  20. #20
    Senior Member as_intended's Avatar
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    Default Re: What was I supposed to do?

    Quote Originally Posted by Peanut_Butter View Post
    Your taking it to personally. Think of your looks, your dances and yoru stripper persona as your product. Your real personality is hidden from them because it isn't for sale. If they reject you, they are simply rejecting the product you offered for sale ( dances and stripper persona) they didn't reject YOU, because they never saw who "you" were, as you keep that hidden.

    Because to these guys..you are just a product. A means to have fun. If you were in a restaurant and ordered dinner and the chef brought the plate out and it totally wasn't what you expected or wanted, would you eat it anyway just to be polite or ask to send it back? You would be rejecting his product, btu ti isnt anythign personal, you just want what you want and what you are paying for.

    I never thought of it this way. Im never gonna feel rejected again after reading this. Thats the best advise ive heard all year. Thank you
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    God/dess cutey5032's Avatar
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    Default Re: What was I supposed to do?

    Fuck that, I think you deserve that $100!! Yeah, in the SC you ARE a piece of meat and I don't think that many people respect strippers at all, but that guy was trying to fuck with you and cheap you out with the change. Plus, he was rude. Why the fuck did he have the OTHER girls in his party lifting up YOUR dress? If they wanna act like ballers, then they can CERTAINLY afford the 80 asshole tax

    Oh and Kylie---I am laughing my ass off at the Bebe thing.

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    Default Re: What was I supposed to do?

    Story one: I had to deal with that last night. They originally shoo'd me away with the stink face. The guy didn't seem to want anything to do with me but I ended up just playing nice and getting bitchy and being an ass back. I got very nice pay for it though. So...It was worth it but still awkward knowing they were full of themselves, acting too good, saying I was lying about everything...draining! If you don't feel bad then who cares, the nights over and you got your tax.

    Story two: I've had that happen and I just faced the other way and air danced. It was gross. I personally don't care if they are doing it behind me as long as I'm getting payed and other people aren't easily seeing it (so they all think it's okay).

  23. #23
    God/dess holiday's Avatar
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    Default Re: What was I supposed to do?

    I don't see how girls can assimilate so easily into ANY situation with any customer and make it look so easy...
    This stood out to me. I'm thinking it should go in that thread about "What's the difference between successful and unsuccessful dancers"

    We went over and introduced ourselves, but it was really awkward, they were all drinking, and I couldn't and don't so I felt left out. They weren't really talking about anything, just bragging about themselves and their company (i never really caught exactly what it was).
    They probably sensed this and it made them feel totally superior to you (even though I completely agree that they were douchbags). This is a prime example of playing the pretend drunk girl. I do that ALL the time. I don't get drunk at work either, but I'm not bad at getting giggly and slutty, which is all they want in a group like that.

    Anyway, I'm glad you got away with the $100, but you have to watch out at work to make sure it doesn't bite you later, like if the guy ended up saying something to the host or something. Dancers are a lot more expendable than big groups, as far as the club is concerned.
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    Default Re: What was I supposed to do?

    other girls could assimilate and get along with them because they weren't like you. a lot of girls actually like people like that. a lot of girls like guys like that. that's actually their dream guy more or less. for those girls, that wasn't awkward at all.

    most customers who come in want an escape. they want us to be fun and flirty. they want us to admire them. they don't want us to feel awkward and out of our element, to look at them with a sort of disgust.

    i don't think what you did was wrong. if he really cared about exact change, he'd've paid with it. by the time another girls was with him, he probably forgot about the money completely.


    as for the second part...that was fucked up. i'd've demanded a pretty hefty tip for even sticking around. how rude.

  25. #25
    Featured Member paintgoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: What was I supposed to do?

    I feel your pain! I hate the champagne area in that club. It was NOT made with dancers in mind. It's a place for the customers to sit and look cool. There's NO room to dance, especially when everyone is sitting shoulder to shoulder in there. Also... the management lets bouncers and hosts act like pimps with picking out girls. It just causes drama! I used to HATE that. It was always the same girls picked, and I was never an ass kisser.

    I know you didn't just start dancing yesterday, but you're going to get a LOT of that meat-market mentality where guys line you up or turn you around to look at your ass. It used to bother me on principle because I'm no idiot, but honestly the more you fight the environment on principle, the more it's going to make you look like sour grapes there. Winning against those mother fuckers is smiling and shaking your ass on the outside and knowing you're a better person than them on the inside. Stripping is a stupid job, so let it be stupid. Don't take it to heart. Bend over and shake your ass and make your money. Just because you can act like a party girl at work doesn't mean you're stupid. And there's nothing wrong with the ACT. It has NOTHING to do with the real you. It's part of the rift between your club self with your stage name, and your real self where you're meant to really shine.

    Just my two cents. I used to be a lot like you, and it took me a couple years to take things in stride, smile like i mean it, make my money, and NOT let what happens at a STUPID job come home with me and eat me.

    Oh... and kudos to you for excising an asshole tax.
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    ...I assume you probably don't want to deal with pervs, and the guys that just don't give a fuck about money are like unicorns...
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