tell me what I should do?





tell me what I should do?
Last edited by mollyzmoon; 10-13-2008 at 07:21 PM.
we used to get one at a club i worked at his mom would drop him off...it was interesting. he was polite though and appreciative.





not the same but i was on a SD site. i put in my profile that i work with autistic children. i had a man with aspergers message me asking if he could pay me for "mock dates" and help learning how to talk to women.
it didnt sit right with me. im not quite sure why. i didnt do it. to me, those 2 worlds are separate (though not anymore.. a door guy at my new club, his daughter went to the school i work at! she just left for the summer but she was the cuuuuuutest thing ever. he was totally cool about it, too, we were talking about her. nice to know there are still some non judgemental people in this world.) and i don't like to mix them. maybe that's why i didn't feel right about doing that.
i've had the same problem. but, he likes woman, and your probably giving him an experience he wouldn't have with a girl ...
don't feel guilty.
Yeah, I wouldn't feel guilty... I think it would make me uncomfrotable tho, personally....
I have no problem AT ALL dancing for people with physical disabilities but I dont know I would feel like I was molesting him or something...I'm sure that's not the case or anything, and you know....he is at least experiencing some intimacy with a woman.....





I've worked when a group of mentally handicapped people came in. I didn't ask them for dances and no one came to me so I didn't really have to deal with it.
If my adult son was retarded and into women I'd send him to the club with a set amount. I mean he's still a guy, he's not going to get laid and if he was having sex it'd freak me out that he wouldn't be using a condom...(this happened to some I knew and her mentally challenged daughter got pregnant).
I think I would try to avoid it because it'd mess up my mojo for the night if I felt like I cheated him or something.
Last edited by Joplin; 07-27-2008 at 02:42 PM.
I think it might be good for him. Most mentally diabled men are obsessed with porn anyway so hes not seeing anything new. I would rather dance for one of them then some of the douchbags that come around.
Funny, I worry about taking their money. If I felt more confident that they were "looked after" I might not worry. I mean, the mentally challenged are not... physically immature. They have legitimate needs and desires just like other guys.
I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth










mollyzmoon - I can definitely relate and I felt guilty about dancing for that guy at first...... until I figured out that he understands 100% what is going on. The first time I danced for him I made sure EVERY song that I said "That was X songs. Would you like another one?" and every time and he "yes" and got out his wallet to see if he had enough. We're talking about 5 times here! Then he had me sign his "book" with TONS of signatures from other dancers.
To me, what matters is if they understand or not. This guy understood 100% how much the songs are, how much they cost, ect. Another thing is that these are on some level, the guys I love to dance for most because I know we're providing an invaluable service to them. The only woman he's probably ever had (and I know this is mean to say!) is probably an escort or a stripper. Having a beautiful naked woman on you is a wonderful thing and thanks to strip clubs, disabled men don't have to go without!
Carleton University held a small campaign once on sexuality and disability awareness. It really opened my eyes.




We had a regular mentally handicapped customer that would come in every weeked and spend £200 on the first dancer he saw in a string of dances. I felt guilty at first but the guy looked absolutely overjoyed the whole time and always left with a huge smile on his face.
I'm sure you do make this guy very happy, and as newmoon said he does understand the situation so you are not taking advantage in any way.





On some level I almost feel like these are the guys we should feel best about dancing for. And I think that disability rights are a huge reason to legalize prostitution, if that makes sense. I feel bettere about dancing for a guy who has needs only a woman can fulfill than dancing for the guy who sneaks out of his house after his wife is asleep to come to the titty bar.





He must have money because he comes to the club a lot. Usually only spends about $100 but still......
Once a family of mentally disabled people came to a club I danced at and they were very interested in tipping me on stage and wanted my attention. At first I felt very awkward, especially since they seemed to be related (a brother and sister?) but I didn't end up dancing for them in private. Which is good because they smelled really really bad.





Though I can understand feeling uncomfortable, your assumption that he must not have money because he's part of a certain demographic would be the same as me feeling bad taking money from a Latin guy because Latinos have (on average) lower incomes than white Americans. See the lack of logic? Just because the mentally disabled are thought to have less $ and need it to spend on their special services, etc., doesn't mean they all fit into this category, or don't receive money from other sources, etc...
And they know exactly what they're doing. If they are in your club, they are very conscious of what's going on. Like Jenny said- they have needs and desires too... basic needs for visual/physical stimulation that you are fulfilling and they are paying you for. The mental stimulation (conversation) may not necessarily be quite as present as with other customers (case by case basis) but they like interacting with and being turned on by hot girls just as much as any other dude. They want it, you got it, they pay. I don't see a problem unless you desexualize or infantalize them.
Last edited by ColetteCalahan; 07-27-2008 at 04:28 PM.
Exactly what Colette and Jenny said. They're grown men, and with being a grown man comes grown up desire. It's got to be easier to express that desire and engage in fantasy at a strip club than it is at any other time for them.
I do get what you are saying Molly, we're pretty much creatures of habit, and when something reminds us of another issue (kids, family etc.) that touches close to home, it's hard to get it out of your head.
But next time he comes in try to remind yourself..."This is a man, a grown man, who has wants and desires and craves women, just like any other grown man."










^ you totally missed by basis for comparison. I was showing a faulty lack of logic. I wasn't saying Latin people lack mental capacity... oy gavult. I SAID that both populations have/are thought to have, ON AVERAGE, a lower income than the AVERAGE white american. (i'm talking about the generalities/stereotypes we hold) but that it doesn't justify not having them as customers and taking their money like anybody else.
Plus, there are many mentally handicapped people that have jobs! Handicaps vary across a wide spectrum. And while you are defending Latinos against a perceived racist comment that you totally misinterpreted... you might want to use a job other than 'janitor' in your response. You know. Just a consideration.
molly, I absolutely trust your perception of whether the guy was "appropriately" spending money - I meant for me it was always a concern, because I don't really get to know the customers that way. If, for example, he has a nice watch and is spending $100 you are probably safe; if he is spending $3000 - there might be a problem.
I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth





I think I know what you mean. It is definitely different to deal with people who are like children in the bodies of adults. I remember a disabled girl I cared for one summer. She was very mentally retarded and for awhile in my care she was on her PERIOD! Of course she would be, I mean she has an adult body but it's hard for me to wrap my mind around.





I don't think I missed your logic. While Molly may be using faulty logic, I don't think your Latin example supports that at all because it's completely different. People assume Latin people don't make as much money from stereotyping. That is completely different from assessing an individual's marketable skills.





ACK.
1.) we're not talking about marketable skills.
2.) i never said molly was using faulty logic. i said, 'think of it this way... it doesn't make sense in the same way...'
3.) latin people DO make less money. look up the last census results.










*sigh*





We can respectfully agree to disagree![]()
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