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Thread: Exercising the Asshole Tax.

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    God/dess ExoticEngineer's Avatar
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    Default Exercising the Asshole Tax.

    Encouraged by Kiera's thread I decided to share my "Asshole Tax" story, and see if you girls have any of your own!

    The club worked at a while back was very high end, beautiful and large. The managers treated the women like cattle, shuffling us through, using us up and spitting us out as fast as possible to make room for the new heard. So...dancer support was limited to say the least. If you had issues, you solved it on your own and accepted the consequences. (In my mind that's how it played out anyway)

    So one night a guy calls me over for a dance, nice looking guy, dressed well, expensive clothes and such. I think "Awesome! $$$".
    Not even 10 seconds into the dance and this guy is the human octopus, all over the place! So I tell him nicely he has to keep his hands to himself, he keeps going, I say "Well, you obviously aren't in the mood for a regular dance, we should go to the VIP." Him: "No thanks." So I explain that he needs to quit groping me or this dance is over...he proceeds to grab my hand and place it right on his crotch. Only for a split second and at the very end of the dance. The song ends...he asks how much he owes.

    "10 for the dance and $10 asshole fee."

    Him: "A what?"

    Me: "Well, you were so rude to me and insulting, I highly suggest you tip me to make up for it."

    Hands me a 20 laughing (He thought I was kidding?)
    "I'll take my change please."

    Me: "Are you sure you don't want to tip me?"

    Him: "Yes."

    Okayyyyyy........I go to the bar, make sure I get two fives in there for his change, and on the way back I am ripping the fives into itty bitty pieces. I pass the one bouncer who I know and is a friend and let him know I'm about to be a bitch.

    The guy is standing there, holds out his hand and I sprinkle the little pieces into his palm. "What the hell is this?!?!"

    Me: "Gosh, I don't know!! It just came like that! But you know....you're so good with your hands I bet you could just tape it all together in no time!" insert wink here "Have fun with that!"



    Next story!




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    Default Re: Exercising the Asshole Tax.

    ^ umm, although i think that's absolutely fantastic, you may want to seek vengeance in a way that isn't technically criminal.

    From the U.S. Treasury:

    "..Whoever mutilates, cuts, disfigures, perforates, unites or cements together, or does any other thing to any bank bill, draft, note, or other evidence of debt issued by any national banking association, Federal Reserve Bank, or Federal Reserve System, with intent to render such item(s) unfit to be reissued, shall be fined not more than $100 or imprisoned not more than six months, or both.

    Defacement of currency in such a way that it is made unfit for circulation comes under the jurisdiction of the United States Secret Service...."


    (though i do applaud you for the creativity.)

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    Featured Member keira0304's Avatar
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    Default Re: Exercising the Asshole Tax.

    haha... that's a great story. I can't believe it was only 10 dollars for a dance though! hm... now I've got all sorts of ideas. Maybe next time something like that happens I could light his change on fire. I prefer keeping it though. edit: it's illegal to tear up money? wow... i've ripped more than a couple bills in half just because they were so old and flimsy. Does the law include writing on bills? because I've received several one dollar bills from guys at the club with their phone numbers on them- lol.
    "Life and death, energy and peace. If I stop today it was still worth it. Even the terrible mistakes that I made and would have unmade if I could. The pains that have burned me and scarred my soul, it was worth it, for having been allowed to walk where I've walked, which was to hell on earth, heaven on earth, back again, into, under, far in between, through it, in it, and above."

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    Default Re: Exercising the Asshole Tax.

    ^ apparently only to the point of making them 'unfit for circulation...' not quite sure about that. 1 scribble is ok but drawing the mona lisa on top of George Washington is not? I dunno.

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    Default Re: Exercising the Asshole Tax.

    Mm, yah, I most certainly broke the law there....Oooops! Totally worth it though.




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    Veteran Member JDanielle's Avatar
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    Default Re: Exercising the Asshole Tax.

    Quote Originally Posted by ColetteCalahan View Post
    From the U.S. Treasury:

    "..Whoever mutilates, cuts, disfigures, perforates, unites or cements together, or does any other thing to any bank bill, draft, note, or other evidence of debt issued by any national banking association, Federal Reserve Bank, or Federal Reserve System, with intent to render such item(s) unfit to be reissued, shall be fined not more than $100 or imprisoned not more than six months, or both.

    Defacement of currency in such a way that it is made unfit for circulation comes under the jurisdiction of the United States Secret Service...."
    I wonder what would have happened if he had called the police and told them a stripper ripped up his $10.

    Once my friend and I did an hour in VIP with a guy who was tripping on something. When the hour was up, his card bounced; while he was digging through his wallet for another one, he scooped out all his money and put it on the table. 15 minutes later we're still sitting in VIP, waiting for this guy to pay. His cards are bouncing and anyway he's too far gone to do anything but scribble on the receipts, so the bouncer goes to call the police. While he's gone, friend swept her hand over the table, knocked all his money down, and went "Oops! Let me get that for you!" She put most of it back but kept a $100 and split it between us. Yes, it was pretty rotten, but it didn't even begin to cover what he still owes us.

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    Default Re: Exercising the Asshole Tax.

    I personally don't like the concept of asshole tax because I think men could use it to justify sexually assaulting us. Like "She told me not to grab her vaj but it's okay if I pay $20 asshole tax."

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    Default Re: Exercising the Asshole Tax.

    That's one way of looking at it.




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    Default Re: Exercising the Asshole Tax.

    I did two dances for a douche that refused to pay me at the end. Fortunately he'd taken his cell phone out of his pocket and put it on the little table before I started dancing.

    I grabbed the cell phone and said "that's ok...I'll just call some of these people in your phone and tell them what happened...maybe one of them can come up and bring you some money."

    He turned bright red and got all flustered, "don't you dare touch that phone! Give me that!" I stood just out of his reach (in view of the bouncers ) and started going through the phone book. "hey, who's Shelley? Should we call her?"

    He threw $60 on the floor and called me a stupid bitch. I smiled, gave him the phone back and told him to have a wonderful evening. I guess the extra $10 was an asshole tax, but I deserved it for wasting 5 minutes getting my money.
    ~'A Seven Nation Army Couldn't Hold Me Back'~

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    God/dess Elvia's Avatar
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    Default Re: Exercising the Asshole Tax.

    Quote Originally Posted by JDanielle View Post
    I wonder what would have happened if he had called the police and told them a stripper ripped up his $10.

    Once my friend and I did an hour in VIP with a guy who was tripping on something. When the hour was up, his card bounced; while he was digging through his wallet for another one, he scooped out all his money and put it on the table. 15 minutes later we're still sitting in VIP, waiting for this guy to pay. His cards are bouncing and anyway he's too far gone to do anything but scribble on the receipts, so the bouncer goes to call the police. While he's gone, friend swept her hand over the table, knocked all his money down, and went "Oops! Let me get that for you!" She put most of it back but kept a $100 and split it between us. Yes, it was pretty rotten, but it didn't even begin to cover what he still owes us.

    Hmm...if you knew he had the cash- even more than what you took- why didn't you guys demand it all, considering how much he owed you?

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    Default Re: Exercising the Asshole Tax.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sveta View Post
    I did two dances for a douche that refused to pay me at the end. Fortunately he'd taken his cell phone out of his pocket and put it on the little table before I started dancing.

    I grabbed the cell phone and said "that's ok...I'll just call some of these people in your phone and tell them what happened...maybe one of them can come up and bring you some money."

    He turned bright red and got all flustered, "don't you dare touch that phone! Give me that!" I stood just out of his reach (in view of the bouncers ) and started going through the phone book. "hey, who's Shelley? Should we call her?"

    He threw $60 on the floor and called me a stupid bitch. I smiled, gave him the phone back and told him to have a wonderful evening. I guess the extra $10 was an asshole tax, but I deserved it for wasting 5 minutes getting my money.
    That is awesome! Good for you!!

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    Default Re: Exercising the Asshole Tax.

    the only problem with the asshole tax is that if they are assholes it is quite unlikely they will pay it.

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    Default Re: Exercising the Asshole Tax.

    Quote Originally Posted by NewMoon View Post
    I personally don't like the concept of asshole tax because I think men could use it to justify sexually assaulting us. Like "She told me not to grab her vaj but it's okay if I pay $20 asshole tax."
    well the concept of asshole tax is usually due to the customer being flashy and giving you too much money and demanding change, inebriated and grabby to the point of not knowing how much he owes you, or some other random situation-- the end result is that the dancer deserves more than the dance was worth due to what she had to put up with, in some cases it could be sexual assault- and the extra money is usually taken swiftly and then you're out of there as soon as possible.

    I could never just take a custie's 100 and then stick around, they would put up a big fight trying to get it back.

    i breathe in- that's true, but a lot of the time the assholes have given you an opportunity to get the tax (giving too much money, leaving collateral like a phone or eyeglasses within your reach, or being so completely disrespectful, grabby and intoxicated that they have no idea how much they owe you).. so there is no asking, just being a little sneaky.

    in my situation, with the 100, if a vip host asked me why i didn't give him change, i could have just said that he gave it to me and never said anything about change, he gave each of us girls a 100 dollar bill and that he's drunk and doesn't know what he's talking about. The vip host pulled me over there because he thought I was in the "top 5" whatever that means, so obviously he wouldn't not take my word if he trusted me and my capabilities as a dancer to go do a rich vip party.
    "Life and death, energy and peace. If I stop today it was still worth it. Even the terrible mistakes that I made and would have unmade if I could. The pains that have burned me and scarred my soul, it was worth it, for having been allowed to walk where I've walked, which was to hell on earth, heaven on earth, back again, into, under, far in between, through it, in it, and above."

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    Default Re: Exercising the Asshole Tax.

    i know what your saying i just threw that out there. i would get in trouble at my club, and it would be a hassle. i do have a couple regulars that i charge asshole tax to if they are being bad but they know its sort of a lighthearted joke. but they still pay. heheh

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    Default Re: Exercising the Asshole Tax.

    Quote Originally Posted by Elvia View Post
    Hmm...if you knew he had the cash- even more than what you took- why didn't you guys demand it all, considering how much he owed you?
    I guess when I said "she put most of it back", that might not have been exactly accurate because I'm not sure how much he had. Also, I mentioned he was on drugs; he was not responding to anything anyone said and instead was carrying on his own conversation about Nicholas Cage. Demands didn't really have any effect.

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