we haven't heard from the Outrageous One in a while ... and this week his column is aimed directly at us !
(snip)"The inflation in the prices of stuff has now affected Americans to a material new degree for the first times in our lives; we are gambling less, we are driving less, we are eating in restaurants less, and we are (in general) suffering a falling standard of living because we can't buy as much stuff, and especially can't afford to buy as much pleasurable stuff, anymore, and believe me when I tell you that nobody is more grumpy about it than I.
One reason is made manifest when one notes that this includes, according to the AP, the Association of Club Executives, which is "a group that represents adult entertainment clubs" and whose spokesperson Angelina Spencer says she, "fields calls every day from strip club owners feeling the pinch of a bad economy."
An adult-club owner named Joe Redner says that although business is down 25%, "the economy does have one upside for the business - it's bringing out more women willing to give pole dancing a try." Hahaha!
If you are a man, I know what you are thinking. You are saying to yourself, "Hey! I could use some extra money, too! I'm willing to give pole dancing a try!"
To that I say, "Hold it right there, my darling impetuous one." I can save you a lot of trouble and heartache when I reveal to you that even if you finally, finally, finally succeed in convincing the club owner to let you give pole dancing a try, your dreams will inevitably turn to ashes as the audience always turns out to be a bunch of no-class jerks who have nothing but hooting and criticism for my (in the original Italian) prima ballerina a la pole, disdain for my tiara ("He's covering his bald spot with it!"), my performance (tip: don't try pole dancing while eating a burrito!), ridiculing my darling pink ballerina outfit, my moustache and every damned little picky, picky little detail, like, "At least shave your legs and your chest, for crying out loud! Jeez! Gross!" and you will run home, crying, to lock yourself in your backyard bunker where you arm yourself to the teeth with large-caliber weapons and vow to kill the first person who asks, "How did it go?"
But inflation is ugly, and it is getting ugly all around the world, and to cite one example to support that contention, I heard a Chinese newscast the other day, and although I do not speak Chinese, I instinctively knew by the tone of their voices that they were talking about the roaring inflation in consumer prices and how they are pretty cheesed off about the whole thing.
The bored look on the face of Adrian Ash of BullionVault.com tells me that he denies ever hearing anything about such a Chinese broadcast, and he obviously doesn't believe me when I tell him about it just because I lie about everything to try to make myself look important and smart, and says only that he believes Stephen Platt at Archer Financial Services when he says, "There really is no other place to hide. Gold's about the only real currency out there that might hold value."
"Might" hold value? Hahahaha! Mr. Platt is this week's winner of the Mogambo Award For Understatement (MAFU)! Hahaha!"(snip)
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