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Thread: RANT: crappy bohemian musician parents.

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    God/dess Elvia's Avatar
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    Default RANT: crappy bohemian musician parents.

    I'm worried I'm starting to hate portland. Not for dancing. I actually like it. No contact and lots of stage tips is the perfect dancing situation for me. But I just feel that, as I've gotten older, I've started to see the seedy and sad part of the bohemian culture that prevails out here. Which is sad, because I've always thought of myself as a typical bohemian Portlander/Oregonian (I lived a VERY counter culture life as a child). But after being with my last boyfriend, I'm disenchanted. He was a fairly well known local musician, and through him I met a lot of other local musicians and they were (almost without exception, the one's i met that is) HORRIBLE PEOPLE!! They're all in their mid 30's to mid 40's and have kids that they barely take care of. They basically put them all in someones house when they want to go out (several times a week), designate the oldest as "babysitter" and stay out until 4 am playing music, getting wasted, doing coke and going home with strangers and forgetting their kids. And no one ever seems to understand why I look horrified. they don't take their kids to school because they "don't feel well" (i.e. hungover) or"got in really late last night and just couldn't get up."


    Is this typical here? Or is it just bad luck that i seem to encounter these people? I could chalk it up to a bad crowd but i seem to KEEP STUMBLING UPON THESE PEOPLE. It's like people are staying children well into their 30's. Which wouldn't be a problem if they didn't insist on also having ACTUAL CHILDREN. Am i just old fashioned now to believe a 10 year old should have someone taking care of them at night, instead of being left alone till 4 am to take care of a group of younger children who's parents are also out drunk all night on a Tuesday? maybe i'm going crazy, but it feels like everyone acts like there's something wrong with me for thinking this is a little f-ed up. please tell me this is not the norm these days.

  2. #2
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: RANT: crappy bohemian musician parents.

    I agree with you. I plan to raise my family a certain way, and supervision is a huge part of it.

    Incidentally, there are/were many famous counter-culture types that had structure for their kids. Frank Zappa comes to mind. I'm sure there are more but I don't read a lot of celebrity mags so someone else will have to add to this...

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    Featured Member needtodance's Avatar
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    Default Re: RANT: crappy bohemian musician parents.

    I TOTALLY know what you mean, elvia. I've seen a lot of that as well.

    its sad, on the one hand, i find myself drawn to musicians and heavily creative sorts, on the other hand, i've seen that much of the time they take "creative" to mean "no responsibility", and huge ego's.

    Mind you, I'm a musician, but a responsible, non bohemian one.

    But yeah, it DOES make you lose a little faith in humanity when your watching these people in a position of power over a little persons life, simply serving THEIR selfish needs.
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    Default Re: RANT: crappy bohemian musician parents.

    OK, Elvia, first off, I'm not gonna lie, I'm dying to know who you and your last BF are.

    Secondly, I've known plenty of boho musicans/artists/writers who are perfectly good parents, so lifestyle is no justification for that kind of behavior. Those people just suck and it's just natural to be chagrined by their parenting.

    I have no idea if that's the norm, though. I certainly don't keep stumbling upon those people, but then, I have a pretty small and childless social circle. That's pretty lame. But then I also think this would make for a pretty awesome Mercury story -- crappy PDX musician parenting! An expose! Anomar, hook this woman up.

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    Featured Member keira0304's Avatar
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    Default Re: RANT: crappy bohemian musician parents.

    I had a couple friends in PDX that were parents and also boho/hippie musician/artist types, but they were great parents. I never ran into any that were like that.... indeed it would make a great Mercury story.
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    God/dess anomar's Avatar
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    Default Re: RANT: crappy bohemian musician parents.

    RoRfl! Breaking news, hippies can make terrible parents! Well, we go to press on Tuesday afternoon & editorial decides next week's topics on Wednesdays.

    I have one friend like that... he has a daughter who is about nine or ten and he has custody of her sometimes. It's weird because he treats her as an adult to a crazy extent. He brings her along to a lot of outdoor parties. I think in some ways it's good -- she's very socially comfortable and a very intelligent person -- but it seems weird to raise your child so outside of regular society. I think he raises her the best way that he's capable of, but I do wonder.

    Elvia, my thoughts on this are that you probably notice them a lot because you strongly associate terrible boho musicians with your ex. Obviously, your ex sucks... so wouldn't his friends? There are definitely a lot of bad parents out there. It might be good to expand your social circle and meet people with vastly different interests. Not in order to change things -- that's difficult -- but so that that shit ain't in yo' face.

  7. #7
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: RANT: crappy bohemian musician parents.

    This thread made me have lots of funny thoughts...On "The Simpsons" Ned Flanders' parents were beatnik hippies, so he became an extreme square. It's a comic exaggeration, but that does happen.

    Also, a man I know is a strict atheistic Satanist, & his kids are some of the best, sweetest kids I've ever seen. (OTOH, some of the most rotten kids I knew back home had very pious Christian parents, so they felt they could get away with anything.)

    It's a complicated world. My mother fancied herself a respectable parent but she wasn't. My bad childhood memories are why my (adoptive) kids are going to have extreme structure, I know how horrible it is to get spat out into the world with not enough support and preparation.

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    God/dess Dottie Rebel's Avatar
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    Default Re: RANT: crappy bohemian musician parents.

    Quote Originally Posted by needtodance View Post
    its sad, on the one hand, i find myself drawn to musicians and heavily creative sorts, on the other hand, i've seen that much of the time they take "creative" to mean "no responsibility", and huge ego's.
    Truth bomb...INCOMING! It's as is being an "artist" (which in most cases I think is ridiculous. Learning to play Led Zeppelin songs on the guitar and maybe even writing your own hacky crap does NOT make you an artist.) gives one license to act a fool. Because they "cant help it". They're "artists" and different from us lowly mortals.

    I do have to say that by and large most of the hippie/bohemian/counter-culture parents I've known have been kick-ass, rock star parents. Sounds like the people you know are just good old garden variety white trash masquerading as bohemian.

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    God/dess holiday's Avatar
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    Default Re: RANT: crappy bohemian musician parents.

    I think there may be a larger truth here though
    It's like people are staying children well into their 30's.
    this seems to be true. We have such an obsession with eternal youth now and I could see people still wanting to stay hip even after they have kids.

    Your friends sound stupid though. That's crazy they stay out all night like that and don't get them to school in the morning.

    But I do agree that it is your circle of friends, I don't know anyone personally that behaves that way, oh, except for the cracked out strippers at work
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    God/dess Elvia's Avatar
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    Default Re: RANT: crappy bohemian musician parents.

    Quote Originally Posted by Dottie Rebel View Post

    I do have to say that by and large most of the hippie/bohemian/counter-culture parents I've known have been kick-ass, rock star parents. Sounds like the people you know are just good old garden variety white trash masquerading as bohemian.
    I think you hit the nail on the head.

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