I need advice on how to handle this situation.
Background info: I lived in florida for ten years, that is where all my close friends live. I've lived in south carolina for about eight months, this is where all my current friends are. I grew up in new jersey. My fiance grew up in new york. All his close friends and family are in ny/nj. All my family is in ny/nj.
We were planning a small church wedding here in south carolina where my florida friends could attend. When I asked my mother if she would be able to come, she told me my fathers health would not allow him to travel that far. She suggested we hold the wedding in new jersey. She offered to pay for the wedding and reception to make amends for the rocky relationship we've had. She feels she owes this to me. At first this sounded like it would work out nicely since my family will all be able to attend and my fiance's nearest and dearest can attend too.
This has snowballed into a disaster. For starters we had to plan the wedding date around my sisters schedule, not my fiances. Okay, we made it work. Then, my mother (and sister, they are planning it together) practically eliminated the church service, which is whats important to me. They have gone completely overboard with the reception hall, flowers, decor, invitations, etc. That stuff isn't very important to me so I let them do what makes them happy. As far as the guest list goes... my mother was extremely concerned about keeping the count low. We invited the bare minimum of people (less then 10) none of which are anyone that I would want there. I have about four or five extremely close girlfriends. None of them are invited. One or two of them wouldn't be able to make the trip but the others would make it for me. It was really hard to tell them that they weren't invited. It hurt thier feelings. My sister, who I'm not close to, is going to be my maid of honor. I had to argue with them to have my four year old daughter and not her ten year old daughter be my flower girl (wtf!?). On the morning of my wedding day I will be all alone. No one to help me dess or do hair or makeup. My mother and sister and going to be too busy with the food and reception hall. I'm going to have to drive myself, by myself, to the church. This depresses the shit out of me.
I think the reason I'm so upset today is because my sister and I spoke about the photographer three weeks ago. She told me that there was none available on friday, the day of the wedding, but we could get all dressed up again on saturday when one was available. I told her I wasn't okay with that because there's other members of the bridal party, like the best man, who should be in these photos and may not be available. Not to mention the trip is all planned out and saturday is 'booked' with other things, like visiting all the people NOT invited that we know. Today, she calls me (bitchy as can be) that she can get a photographer for $350 on Thursday, compared to $2000 on friday- wedding day. She 'must' have an answer by the end of the day. I'm pissed because I we (the bride and groom) had to change our schedules around to accomidate her not wanting to miss any work and now, she wants me to ask the best man to take off not one, but two days from his work. That's not possible. I haven't complained about anything. I've let them do whatever thier hearts desire. I haven't argued with them at all. This is going too far. This is not about me (i use that word losely) this is about them showing off for thier people. They have twice as many people invited then we do.
I'm seriously considering canceling the whole thing. I don't know what to do. My thoughts at first were, "I know this isnt what I would have planned, but it'll still be nice to have this and see family and have my dad give me away." Now, I'm dreading it.
I love you SW members and I'm hoping you guys will have a fresh outlook/ advice. I think Im too emotionally close to the situation. What do I do?
Thanks and sorry so long.![]()



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Get someone to take a few pics of your dad - photoshop him in and your all set!

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