Results 1 to 19 of 19

Thread: help... my wedding is going to suck!

  1. #1
    Veteran Member Gabrielle MB's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    258
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 39 Times in 17 Posts

    Default help... my wedding is going to suck!

    I need advice on how to handle this situation.

    Background info: I lived in florida for ten years, that is where all my close friends live. I've lived in south carolina for about eight months, this is where all my current friends are. I grew up in new jersey. My fiance grew up in new york. All his close friends and family are in ny/nj. All my family is in ny/nj.

    We were planning a small church wedding here in south carolina where my florida friends could attend. When I asked my mother if she would be able to come, she told me my fathers health would not allow him to travel that far. She suggested we hold the wedding in new jersey. She offered to pay for the wedding and reception to make amends for the rocky relationship we've had. She feels she owes this to me. At first this sounded like it would work out nicely since my family will all be able to attend and my fiance's nearest and dearest can attend too.

    This has snowballed into a disaster. For starters we had to plan the wedding date around my sisters schedule, not my fiances. Okay, we made it work. Then, my mother (and sister, they are planning it together) practically eliminated the church service, which is whats important to me. They have gone completely overboard with the reception hall, flowers, decor, invitations, etc. That stuff isn't very important to me so I let them do what makes them happy. As far as the guest list goes... my mother was extremely concerned about keeping the count low. We invited the bare minimum of people (less then 10) none of which are anyone that I would want there. I have about four or five extremely close girlfriends. None of them are invited. One or two of them wouldn't be able to make the trip but the others would make it for me. It was really hard to tell them that they weren't invited. It hurt thier feelings. My sister, who I'm not close to, is going to be my maid of honor. I had to argue with them to have my four year old daughter and not her ten year old daughter be my flower girl (wtf!?). On the morning of my wedding day I will be all alone. No one to help me dess or do hair or makeup. My mother and sister and going to be too busy with the food and reception hall. I'm going to have to drive myself, by myself, to the church. This depresses the shit out of me.

    I think the reason I'm so upset today is because my sister and I spoke about the photographer three weeks ago. She told me that there was none available on friday, the day of the wedding, but we could get all dressed up again on saturday when one was available. I told her I wasn't okay with that because there's other members of the bridal party, like the best man, who should be in these photos and may not be available. Not to mention the trip is all planned out and saturday is 'booked' with other things, like visiting all the people NOT invited that we know. Today, she calls me (bitchy as can be) that she can get a photographer for $350 on Thursday, compared to $2000 on friday- wedding day. She 'must' have an answer by the end of the day. I'm pissed because I we (the bride and groom) had to change our schedules around to accomidate her not wanting to miss any work and now, she wants me to ask the best man to take off not one, but two days from his work. That's not possible. I haven't complained about anything. I've let them do whatever thier hearts desire. I haven't argued with them at all. This is going too far. This is not about me (i use that word losely) this is about them showing off for thier people. They have twice as many people invited then we do.

    I'm seriously considering canceling the whole thing. I don't know what to do. My thoughts at first were, "I know this isnt what I would have planned, but it'll still be nice to have this and see family and have my dad give me away." Now, I'm dreading it.

    I love you SW members and I'm hoping you guys will have a fresh outlook/ advice. I think Im too emotionally close to the situation. What do I do?

    Thanks and sorry so long.

  2. #2
    Featured Member Miss_Luscious's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2003
    Location
    Raleigh
    Posts
    988
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 36 Times in 23 Posts

    Default Re: help... my wedding is going to suck!

    It's your wedding. Have it the way you want it. Don't let others plan it if you don't want to do what they want to do. Put your foot down and let them know that our wedding will be done your way or else you are going back to what you originally planned in SC.
    "A stupid man's report of what a clever man says is never accurate because he unconsciously translates what he hears into something he can understand." - Bertrand Russell

    "It's just a matter of people having low self esteem and being way too easily offended." -Random Guy on a Internet Forum

    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine View Post
    Ya'll bitches need to calm down. Cerously.
    In other words: Boo-motherfucking-hoo

  3. #3
    Featured Member
    Joined
    Jul 2007
    Posts
    892
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 6 Times in 6 Posts

    Default Re: help... my wedding is going to suck!

    Quote Originally Posted by Miss_Luscious View Post
    It's your wedding. Have it the way you want it. Don't let others plan it if you don't want to do what they want to do. Put your foot down and let them know that our wedding will be done your way or else you are going back to what you originally planned in SC.
    Exactly.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  4. #4
    Veteran Member got2havespunk's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2008
    Posts
    341
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re: help... my wedding is going to suck!

    This is why I didn't want financial help from my family. They insisted, so it was compromised that I get the last say, or the whole thing is off.
    I would tell them to shove it....and plan an event for the girls you really want there. This doesn't sound like she feels like she owes YOU, it sounds like she feels she's entitled to the wedding SHE wants...but for you.
    I'm not who I say I am.

  5. #5
    Veteran Member stripperMBA's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    554
    Thanks
    33
    Thanked 159 Times in 58 Posts
    My Mood
    Bored

    Default Re: help... my wedding is going to suck!

    Elope....Just do a spontianious wedding in Vegas or someplace else. The love you and your husband have for eachother is not measured by the size and gradeur of the wedding. Perhaps your mother and sister have forgoten this very important point. I know you stated that your mami is paying for the wedding and reception. But what about other costs? Are you willing to start your married life in debt for the wedding. Just look at the economy now. Think of any debt you will be paying off in the future and how you and your husbands income can cope with that. It is your wedding and the start of you and your husbands life.
    "Can we read it on the Smoking Gun? "

  6. #6
    God/dess Polekitten's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Uk
    Posts
    2,222
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 5 Times in 5 Posts

    Default Re: help... my wedding is going to suck!

    You have to think about how you will feel in the future. In 10 years time would you regret canceling the whole thing and having the wedding you want or would you regret keeping quiet to please everyone else and not really having your day be as special as you would like?



    "I don't take a piss without getting paid for it." - Harlan Ellison

    Life is movement, movement is life.
    To live is to move, to move is to be alive.
    - Mirka Knaster


    Quote Originally Posted by pixierocksonthepole View Post
    "tampons are proof that God exsists."

  7. #7
    Featured Member vivianbear's Avatar
    Joined
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Southern CA
    Posts
    1,507
    Thanks
    555
    Thanked 2,238 Times in 572 Posts

    Default Re: help... my wedding is going to suck!

    Quote Originally Posted by stripperMBA View Post
    Elope....Just do a spontianious wedding in Vegas or someplace else. The love you and your husband have for eachother is not measured by the size and gradeur of the wedding. Perhaps your mother and sister have forgoten this very important point. I know you stated that your mami is paying for the wedding and reception. But what about other costs? Are you willing to start your married life in debt for the wedding. Just look at the economy now. Think of any debt you will be paying off in the future and how you and your husbands income can cope with that. It is your wedding and the start of you and your husbands life.
    Yup. Just hire a minister and do it in a public park in a spot that's nice. Love's love and a wedding won't prove to your family whether or not you love each other. Save yourself the headache. I'm bias though. I was married in a courthouse with no family or friends present. It was great and how I'd always imagined my wedding to be.
    "SS=stripper shit, in the same spectrum as CS=customer shit, which is within the spectrum of SaS=sales shit, which is all contained in the universe of BS=bullshit." -- Jay Zeno (mod)

    "Show me a hot chick and I'll show you someone who's tired of fucking her."






  8. #8
    Veteran Member Gabrielle MB's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    258
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 39 Times in 17 Posts

    Default Re: help... my wedding is going to suck!



    Well, it all went to hell. My sister and I had a huge fight. It got really ugly and moved from a phone call, where she hung up on me, to email. She attacked me HARD for being a stripper. Went into depth about me being a bad mother ( im not- Im an awesome mother-fact). Told me how she hated everything I liked, example: flowers in hair, she insisted on wearing a tiara. She said I had no class or taste because I wanted 'that polly anna white trash shit'. She told me how stupid i am, critisized me for being divorced, attacked my fiance, told me how all my family expected me to do this, she also brought up unrelated hurtful things. I thought amout copy/pasting the email here but honestly the things are way too personally hurtful. I think this is going to have to be the end to our rocky relationship. I cant keep letting her hurt me like this. I want to have a healthy relationship with them, but whenever I let them get close they do permenent damage to my otherwise solid self esteem.

    On the lighter side... my friends and my fiances friends are all aboard for last minute wedding on the beach!! My florida girls are already planning thier matching dresses and a dinner and movie night during the bachlor party to go see sex and the city (im the only one who hasnt seen it yet). I love how they make lemonade from lemons in an instant.

  9. #9
    Veteran Member MissDewdrop's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2007
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    261
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 5 Times in 5 Posts

    Default Re: help... my wedding is going to suck!

    ^^ Awesome news about the beach wedding! Do what you and your hubby want. You tried to include your family, but they are the ones who threw up the barriers. It's truly a shame they're too blind to see it. Anyways, a tiara? Your sister is the one with no class! Tiaras themselves are not classless, but they embody a much more formal and showy ambiance than what you want. They are the ones missing out.

  10. #10
    Senior Member JPremium's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Acworth, GA
    Posts
    113
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 5 Times in 4 Posts

    Default Re: help... my wedding is going to suck!

    I'm sorry that ended so poorly, but at least your friends - which is the only family you get any say in - are coming through with flying colors. Better to have a wedding you'll love and remember with happiness.

  11. #11
    God/dess Polekitten's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Uk
    Posts
    2,222
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 5 Times in 5 Posts

    Default Re: help... my wedding is going to suck!

    I'm sorry things turned out so badly with your family, its a shame that they can't see the damage they're doing but it's their loss. On the plus side it sounds like your weddings going to be a great day. You're really lucky to have such awsome friends around you.



    "I don't take a piss without getting paid for it." - Harlan Ellison

    Life is movement, movement is life.
    To live is to move, to move is to be alive.
    - Mirka Knaster


    Quote Originally Posted by pixierocksonthepole View Post
    "tampons are proof that God exsists."

  12. #12
    Senior Member Miaowren's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    167
    Thanks
    8
    Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts

    Default Re: help... my wedding is going to suck!

    Just go to 'their' wedding and smile... your dad needs an isle to walk you down, right? And then you've got your beach wedding Get someone to take a few pics of your dad - photoshop him in and your all set!

  13. #13
    Featured Member Miss_Luscious's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2003
    Location
    Raleigh
    Posts
    988
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 36 Times in 23 Posts

    Default Re: help... my wedding is going to suck!

    Quote Originally Posted by Gabrielle MB View Post


    On the lighter side... my friends and my fiances friends are all aboard for last minute wedding on the beach!! My florida girls are already planning thier matching dresses and a dinner and movie night during the bachlor party to go see sex and the city (im the only one who hasnt seen it yet). I love how they make lemonade from lemons in an instant.
    There you go! That's a great idea and you will be able to do what you want to do. You have some good friends. Sometimes family can be the biggest obstacle to happiness.
    "A stupid man's report of what a clever man says is never accurate because he unconsciously translates what he hears into something he can understand." - Bertrand Russell

    "It's just a matter of people having low self esteem and being way too easily offended." -Random Guy on a Internet Forum

    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine View Post
    Ya'll bitches need to calm down. Cerously.
    In other words: Boo-motherfucking-hoo

  14. #14
    Veteran Member Gabrielle MB's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    258
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 39 Times in 17 Posts

    Default Re: help... my wedding is going to suck!

    Quote Originally Posted by MissDewdrop View Post
    ^^ Awesome news about the beach wedding! Do what you and your hubby want. You tried to include your family, but they are the ones who threw up the barriers. It's truly a shame they're too blind to see it. Anyways, a tiara? Your sister is the one with no class! Tiaras themselves are not classless, but they embody a much more formal and showy ambiance than what you want. They are the ones missing out.

    That was referring to mom pleading with me to allow you to wear a tiara- i said i didn't mind, truthfully i did.
    AND I respected your wishes/
    my taste is more 'organic' like, umm, flowers.
    Or tacky-like the renasaince fair mode- but I respected that and kept my mouth shut, its your day
    I guess i did specify something. funny it was ignored...
    Nope-I made sure your kid would have that-not mine, I wouldnt subject her to that standard

    Dont need to say anything about style or class there- (stripper with a flower garland real little house on the prairie)

    ...thanks your typical over the top shit
    Not over the top-over the top would have been a real reception hall like the Landmark or Bethany, with linens and tiffany favors-out of your league-you probaly don't know what that is-google it.

    Do not email me any more you are now blocked as well as your phone numbers on my phones. I do not care to have you in my life or my daughters any longer. You are extremely ungreatful, selfish, nasty and coniving. I hope you change your ways.For the sake of your children I feel very bad for them. Again- god bless and good luck to you and your family- I really mean that too.

  15. #15
    Banned
    Joined
    Jun 2008
    Posts
    734
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: help... my wedding is going to suck!

    Too bad she didn't realize she was already cut from your life, but cest la vie. Fuck her.

  16. #16
    God/dess
    Joined
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Colorado
    Posts
    2,265
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: help... my wedding is going to suck!

    Well, it's shitty that some people decided to be cunt rags instead of, gee, I dunno- happy for you... but I'm glad you won't have to deal with those toxic people on your wedding day.

  17. #17
    Veteran Member Gabrielle MB's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    258
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 39 Times in 17 Posts

    Default Re: help... my wedding is going to suck!

    Trying to find the positive, I'm glad this happened now and not on the day of the wedding. I'd be crushed.
    Everything will be fine!

  18. #18
    God/dess Elvia's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    2,636
    Thanks
    495
    Thanked 744 Times in 433 Posts

    Default Re: help... my wedding is going to suck!

    Gabrielle,

    I can totally relate. I was engaged once (though it was called off). It was really hard to accept my wedding wasn't going to be exactly how I wanted it (my father won't be in the same building as my mother,not even for my wedding).

    Sounds like you've made the right choice. I'm just sorry that everything turned to ugly.

  19. #19
    God/dess CKXXX's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2008
    Location
    in my head
    Posts
    3,467
    Thanks
    20
    Thanked 300 Times in 181 Posts

    Default Re: help... my wedding is going to suck!

    Sucks that your family were a-holes. I can relate...my family didnt speak to me for 6 months before my wedding because I didnt get married in a church(but of course..its ok for my ex brother whos beach wedding I was disinvited to because I am a "whore")

    a week before they relented and came and were well behaved. But I made it perfectly clear that is was OUR wedding and we'd do it OUR way....if they wanted to cut us out of their lives over that, well..thats THEIR choice not mine.

    It is YOUR wedding..how fucking DARE they get attitude over getting their way on YOUR day???

    I dont care if my friends got married under a bridge dressed as hobos...I would love them and support them and go in my best homeless attire!!! THEIR wedding..THEIR choice. I had my choice at my wedding....I have no right to tell anyone else what to do at theirs. If only everyone realized that.

    Grrr..the more I think about this the more angry I get. They wanted you to STFU and do it THEIR way even if its miles away from what you want?? And rearrange YOUR wedding to accommodate THEIR schedules??Ummm.NO. Doesnt work that way assholes.

    I went out of my way for friends weddings...took time off work, flew to Philadelphia (and soon to memphis..WOO HOO!!) on MY dime,made DAMn sure I bought them gifts from their registry (or things I KNEW they wanted) ,etc...etc..

    Its THEIR wedding...and your wedding day should be something you look back on with happy memories. Not something you dont even want to see the pics of because it was such an upsetting nightmare.

    And flowers, etc..is NOT pollyanna white trash..it's natural and beautiful(says the girl who DID wear a tiara at my wacky Ripleys Believe it or Not wedding!! ...yes we did actually get married there!).

    Are you getting married on a beach here in FL? What beach? I want to drive by and leave a wedding present on the getaway car!!!!
    Last edited by CKXXX; 08-01-2008 at 02:44 PM.

    Quote Originally Posted by lexilou View Post
    "I'll picklepunch you in your twatwaffle!"

Similar Threads

  1. i suck.........HELP!
    By tennisqt in forum Hustle Hut
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 05-23-2008, 07:04 AM
  2. Do you suck? Why yes....yes I do!!
    By Bridgette in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 07-25-2005, 12:17 AM
  3. Is it just me or does this suck?!
    By babykitten in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 21
    Last Post: 04-06-2005, 01:31 PM
  4. "Everyone was yelling SUCK IT SUCK IT but I didn't"
    By Moneywise in forum General Board
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 10-02-2004, 06:00 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •