So I'm really comfortable with the size of my body. Always have been. I'm glad I am -- I hate to see all the pain others go through over it -- but I just realized it may have been impeding my progress.
Now, right now I'm 5'6", 150 lbs and about 36-29-35, and I thought I'd get smaller when I started dancing -- three shifts a week, spending half of each shift onstage -- but I've stayed about the same size, and recently it hit me: maybe I'm keeping weight on because I don't *want* to be smaller -- I like to take up space, and I want to be more physically imposing than I am. I hate feeling ignored or insignificant. I visualized myself skinnier in the mirror and felt like I would lose confidence if I got smaller.
So I decided to take up bodybuilding a bit more seriously (as I know that my body tends to let go of fat more easily when it's got more muscle) and I'm about three days into the plan, which is to do my lifting routine three to four times per week, eat 30-40g of protein within the few hours after hitting the gym, and always try to increase the resistance (building lifts rather than "maintenance" lifts) on at least half the muscle groups. It already seems to be having an effect; my arms are a lot better defined than they were a few days ago. I feel like I'm going to be a lot happier if I stick with it, and probably will wind up thinner around the middle, too.
I'm also considering getting creeper sneakers (the kind with the two-inch flat platforms) to add height without the annoyance of heels.
I feel like maybe, in some cases, we hang onto weight because we are using it for something, physically or psychologically. Anyone sympathize?




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