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Thread: I hate my club

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    Senior Member callah44's Avatar
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    Default I hate my club

    I began working at a new club a few weeks ago and I thought I liked it at first...however, it's been 5 weeks and now I feel like im getting a lot of heat in passive-aggressive form from the dancers that have been there awhile. I am surprised that this bothers me, because I expected it to a certain extent, and I never set out to make it a social event, but I'm nice and try not to step on other's toes so it bums me out a bit...I suspect Ive been rumored to give out dirty dances and steal people's customers, but NONE of this is true....what I see are the girls who give the dirtiest dances are the ones talking shit, and the ones complaining about the customers are also the same girls sitting in the back for 3 hours bitching about making no money. I am always out on the floor ready to go when the shift starts, I always ask men if they are waiting for a specific girl before I sit down with them, I don't talk dirty or do anything against the rules in my dances, yet every time I work girls will literally talk about me in FRONT of me without using my name yet make it completely obvious that they are bitching about me. Im not setting out to make friends there, but Im not exactly looking for enemies either. My strategy has been to not speak unless spoken to, but these girls act like no one else is entitled to make money and they are very rude. Personally, I think its total B.S. Times are hard, so maybe they should step up their game a little instead of attempting to intimidate me into quitting. I make steady money, but by no means am I walking out with an outrageous amount each night. I know that I need to develop thicker skin, as this is the result of working in an industry with all women, but does anyone have any helpful advice? I dont want the situation to get worse and Im pretty bummed every time I have to go in to work there. I am limited as to the clubs I can work at during the week, but plan to travel on the weekends soon so Im not there 4-5 days a week.

    By the way, Im not the only one, but more and more I feel singled out (possibly because the others have quit and im still there, but I dont know...)

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    Featured Member txchick008's Avatar
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    Default Re: I hate my club

    This is my 3rd week of dancing, and the dancers at my club are not very friendly to me either.

    I didn't aspire to "make friends" at the club, but I figured that after a week or two they would be a bit nicer.
    Still nothing. They are friendly with eachother, and I am still completely invisible. It's very obvious at this point.

    To be honest, I don't really care anymore. Instead - I took it upon myself to say hi to a new girl and introduce myself to her on her first day. I'm just a friendly person, and I will continue to be (to everyone).

    If they wanna be snooty & rude, what can you really do? Nothing! They may just not like the fact that you are making a lot of $$$$$.
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    Default Re: I hate my club

    txchick is exactly right...if they wanna be bitches then thats their problem, not yours. The girls at my club are pretty friendly...and there is only one girl that I'm becoming really good friends with...Just do you sweetheart. Keep doing what you're doing to make your $$$. If the other girls feel intimated or get upset, so be it.

    That's just the nature of the business. Other girls are gonna get pissed. They're gonna hate and talk shit behind your back and in front of your face. Don't worry about it. I know that some girls talk shit about me and I actually hear it from them. I can be sitting right next to them and I'll hear them talking to another girl or the barmaid about me. Now I'm an opinionated person...I've always been the type of person to say something back if I didn't like what was being said about me. But I've learned to keep my mouth shut. Trust me, you don't need the drama.

    Just be cool and like I said, just do you. But if you feel like its time for you to move on, by all means, do that. Don't stay at a place if you're not happy there.

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    Default Re: I hate my club

    ive only had one bad experience at my second club. i got all the money this guy was willing to spend so when one of the girls that had been there longer then me went over to the guy and he didn't spend any money on her she accused me of talking shit about her to him. it always comes out to they're just jealous because you are making more money than them :-) just stay positive and keep banking

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    Default Re: I hate my club

    Quote Originally Posted by jessica0585 View Post
    ive only had one bad experience at my second club. i got all the money this guy was willing to spend so when one of the girls that had been there longer then me went over to the guy and he didn't spend any money on her she accused me of talking shit about her to him. it always comes out to they're just jealous because you are making more money than them :-) just stay positive and keep banking
    No, this is not true. Often girls are not so much 'jealous' as wary.

    Welcome to initiation. It'll take a bit for them to get to know you and accept you... being new in a club, especially if you've never danced before, is hard... worse so if the club has many girls who have been there a long time & are territorial. Mind your own business but don't be aloof. Try small forms of contact and just be friendly on limited terms. Focus on improving your hustle and your dancing, but do keep in mind that while stripping isn't supposed to be a social event, it does help to be friendly with the girls you work with. Having enemies/no friends to back you up is not what you want. It's so much more fun to enjoy your coworkers.

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    Senior Member pheonixkarma's Avatar
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    Default Re: I hate my club

    This trend or "nature" of stripping really bothers me. I feel like we already have a stigma on our jobs and are assumed to be "low class" individuals then girls totally have to support that by acting really trashy on top of it (being really bitchy for pretty much no reason like someone being new is pretty trashy imo). In my experience the only girls that are always nice or at lest civil to people new or not, are foreigners that are also relatively new( cuz they can bitch about you in thier own language and you never know and because its not in alot of thier cultures) and more significantly the girls who always have lots of very good regulars and consistantly make bank and are super hot. These type of girls have nothing to be threatened about and you cant really take away any money from them that would even make a dent so they have no reason to be bitchy. People may try to justify whatever type of nasty behavior with whatever, but it the end if you are behaving yourself, and being classy then in the end thats what it comes down to: insecurity, just know that and feel sorry for them. Other girls put you down for the same reason custies sometimes will, because they don't really feel good about themselves and for no other reason (if you are behaving yourself). One of the later mentioned dancers told me once when I was new and upset because all of hese girls were being mean she said "o x said something to you/ told you what to and not do, come on, bitch aint your momma and she aint paying your goddamn bills ethier, so what does it matter at all what she ahs to say?" I keep "bitch aint my momma and she aint paying my goddamn bills" as a mantra to say to myself when I still encounter bitchiness that would other wise get to me. keep your chin up and as miss nicole so aptly put it: be you.

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    Default Re: I hate my club

    Quote Originally Posted by ColetteCalahan View Post
    No, this is not true. Often girls are not so much 'jealous' as wary.

    Welcome to initiation. It'll take a bit for them to get to know you and accept you... being new in a club, especially if you've never danced before, is hard... worse so if the club has many girls who have been there a long time & are territorial. Mind your own business but don't be aloof. Try small forms of contact and just be friendly on limited terms. Focus on improving your hustle and your dancing, but do keep in mind that while stripping isn't supposed to be a social event, it does help to be friendly with the girls you work with. Having enemies/no friends to back you up is not what you want. It's so much more fun to enjoy your coworkers.
    yes!

    I'm one of those girls that's not very nice to new girls. I typically treat them like they are invisible.

    And it's not because I'm a bitch. I'm just not there to make friends, and especially new girls since they don't seem to last very long.

    And I noticed what you're experiencing when I first started too. What got me through it was that if management really thought I was doing anything wrong, they'd let me know. Even the housemom was a raging bitch to me, so it was annoying. They all later came around....like over a year later!

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    Senior Member callah44's Avatar
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    Default Re: I hate my club

    Quote Originally Posted by Emily View Post
    yes!

    I'm one of those girls that's not very nice to new girls. I typically treat them like they are invisible.

    And it's not because I'm a bitch. I'm just not there to make friends, and especially new girls since they don't seem to last very long.

    And I noticed what you're experiencing when I first started too. What got me through it was that if management really thought I was doing anything wrong, they'd let me know. Even the housemom was a raging bitch to me, so it was annoying. They all later came around....like over a year later!

    Invisible is totally fine with me...I know it's best to just keep my mouth shut, etc...this isn't my first club. Honestly I don't blame you there, because sometimes I get a little bummed out when I see a hot new girl walk in, so I can imagine being pissed if I've been there for years like some of these girls. The problem is that these girls talk about me right in front of me, act as if no one else is entitled to make any money, etc...the bouncers and management have been good friends witha core group of dancers for years too. I agree it comes down to insecurity....I think the best thing I can do to avoid problems is ALWAYS ask if the customer is waiting for someone, but even with that they seem to talk shit right in front of me. I guess welcome to the business!

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    Senior Member callah44's Avatar
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    Default Re: I hate my club

    Ok, one more thing...I realized the other day that they are nice to some new girls...the ones not making any money...I think I'll just mind my own business and try and remain positive!

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    Default Re: I hate my club

    well, then you're obviously doing something right! it's flattering when people don't like you, and you've done nothing to deserve it

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    Default Re: I hate my club

    I always have fun with this. In my opinion its all about jelousy and if the other girls are jealous and they're gonna be bitches then I must be doing something right! Same thing is happening to me at my club (I'm in my 4th week) and Im having a ball with it. If ppl wanna like me thats great, if they dont then fuck them. Go make their money while they sit in the back and you walk around like you're the hottest thing in the club!

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    Featured Member txchick008's Avatar
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    Default Re: I hate my club

    ^^

    Hell yes. I could not agree with you anymore. I feel like I wrote that. LOL.
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    Default Re: I hate my club

    Quote Originally Posted by Emily View Post
    well, then you're obviously doing something right! it's flattering when people don't like you, and you've done nothing to deserve it

    yay, first quote i love enough to siggy!

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    Default Re: I hate my club

    Quote Originally Posted by Emily View Post
    yes!

    I'm one of those girls that's not very nice to new girls. I typically treat them like they are invisible.

    And it's not because I'm a bitch. I'm just not there to make friends, and especially new girls since they don't seem to last very long.

    And I noticed what you're experiencing when I first started too. What got me through it was that if management really thought I was doing anything wrong, they'd let me know. Even the housemom was a raging bitch to me, so it was annoying. They all later came around....like over a year later!
    that is so true. i'm the same way with new girls. i don't talk to them. i'm not the welcoming committee.

    i slowly became friends with my now best friends when i started at my last club, and there was this other girl that was friends with them who i was convinced didnt like me. she has a christmas party every year, and when my friend told me i was invited, i felt really uncomfortable because i really thought she didnt like me. later, when we were all out on new years, she was saying that she doesnt talk to new girls until theyve been there a year. i pointed out that she talked to me, and she said yeah, but only because i was around (the other people she hung out with). makes sense.. she's been dancing for YEARS.. she's seen a lot of girls come and go. she and i ended up being cool, and talking at work, and hanging out, which just goes to show that really some girls just arent there to befriend the new girl. and that's the way it should be.

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    Default Re: I hate my club

    i work at a club that is the exception to the rule, where all the girls are really nice to each other and there's a lot of support. it may have something to do with the fact that our club is a peep show, worker owned and there are no sleazy managers or stage fees, etc., no promotion of competition between the dancers. i've danced for 7 years, but whenever i see/meet a new girl, i always think about how i felt when i first started. so i introduce myself and smile. it's not hard and it takes 2 seconds. and i just hope that i made her starting out experience a lil' bit better..

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    Senior Member LittleMissy's Avatar
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    Default Re: I hate my club

    I love being nice to new girls and making them feel welcomed and reassuring them. Only because of two things.

    1. I'm a naturally nurturing type of person & like meeting new people reguardless of who or where I meet them
    2. When I first started everyone was a bitch and I remembered how that felt which I thought was pointless.

    Now that I've been at my club for almost a year, I get a long fantastic with everyone. Can't say the same when I first started though. The same girls that I now love were girls that were bitchy, back stabbing, rude, didn't know how to form a question without making it sound like a demand.

    In the beginning I hung out a lot with the other newbie girls and we all had fun. Then gradually the others warmed up to us. Then at the same time a lot of the girls that just never came around also ended up getting fired or left so it all worked out in the end.
    "Maybe some women aren't meant to be tamed. Maybe they're supposed to run wild until they find someone - just as wild - to run with."







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    Senior Member callah44's Avatar
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    Default Re: I hate my club

    Update: I havent been in there in 2 weeks, and for money reasons probably will not work there often...Ive also seen how it works in larger clubs where there IS money, so now frankly I dont give a f#*k how they are...if they are shitty to me I'll just ignore them.

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