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Thread: How I handle men that approach me in the street

  1. #26
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    Default Re: How I handle men that approach me in the street

    Quote Originally Posted by Chrissy68 View Post
    Definitely not for me. I've had a stalker. And it's not fun. So, no, def not being paranoid, being street smart instead, and handling a situation before it can even become a problem. Just my .
    yup, me too. i've had a lot of creepy things happen to me. i got phone calls for the longest time, and i swear my old apartment was broken into once because everything was just slightly out of place. now, i may be paranoid because i always check my closets when i get home and am pretty scared to get out of my car, but it's because of things that happened in the past. i dont answer phone calls if i dont know the number, either, and i get pretty scared just as a gut reaction due to the months and months of scary calls i got before.

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    Default Re: How I handle men that approach me in the street

    OMG! One time I had got health insurance and my agent was this guy from Utah. Anyhow, he knew where I worked because of all the paperwork and had my phone #. Can you believe that like 6 months later, this guy called me and had the nerves to ask me if I would come to his hotel???? And then when I tell him I don't go to people's hotels, he asked if I would be at work that night. I told him I might be there, but I didn't show up. Dude, WTF?? You were at my house, met my husband and my kid!!!! Some fucking nerve!!! I never tell anyone who I don't know, what I do or did for a living anymore. If it's paperwork I just put entertainer or independent contractor now. So, don't tell them where you work at or that you're a dancer!!!!!

  3. #28
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    Default Re: How I handle men that approach me in the street

    Quote Originally Posted by Yekhefah View Post
    Sounds like a potentially dangerous stalker invitation to me too.

    I don't usually respond to strange men. Too many women wind up hurt because they feel like they have to be "nice." I don't give a fuck if they think I'm rude for ignoring them, they're rude for invading my space. Any kind of "fuck off" or "I'm married" response is only going to encourage them; it engages them and starts a game that they're now playing with you. Better just not to play. I've had guys standing two feet away from me yelling, "Blonde girl! I'm talking to you!" And I don't acknowledge them at all - no glance in their direction, nothing. They give up a lot faster.
    What the fuck is wrong with these pieces of shit. Seriously. OMFG your aggressive yelling at me while I'm walking by myself makes me want to have your babies.
    I'm in ignore mode as well. It's definitely easier, or else I just laugh and fart.

  4. #29
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    Default Re: How I handle men that approach me in the street

    I dont think anyone here is being paranoid. Our line of work attracts weirdos, that is reality not fantasy.

    I have had a customer watch me go to my car and therefore find out my licence plate. With this he was able to follow me to my gym and also find out where I live. He always ended up driving past me or seeing me when I was shopping.
    This shit is not fun and is actually quite scary and intimidating behaviour.

    I find it surprising that any woman who works in this industry would think that not telling strange men in the street where u work is being paranoid.
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  5. #30
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    Default Re: How I handle men that approach me in the street

    I'm thinking of doing something similar... I was on my way out of the bank while an older guy was coming in... he stopped me to compliment me and then hands me his card.... in case I ever want to hang out. Normally I'd toss those out... but I was considering calling him and asking if he'd like to come visit my club.

  6. #31
    Veteran Member princessparis's Avatar
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    Default Re: How I handle men that approach me in the street

    whats the dif between a man you meet on the street and a man you meet in the club? Nothing except you can make money off of the one in the club.

    if the guy seems strange then why tell him where you work? but its an average joe then why not? if he met you in the club it'd be the same thing. just cause you meet him on the street doesn't make him any more likely to stalk you than if he met you itc ..... just MY

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    Default Re: How I handle men that approach me in the street

    I would think a guy in the street who's gets invited *anywhere* by you is more likely to get his hopes up, and therefore more likely to react more aggressively. A guy you meet in the street might take an invitation to your club as some form of flirting on your part. Whereas strip club patrons who ask us out probobly get shot down by strippers all the time.


    And I wouldn't count on a gun to ward off stalkers. What can be used to defend you can be used against you. And if the guy also has a gun, what then?

  8. #33
    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: How I handle men that approach me in the street

    Quote Originally Posted by sexyjasmine View Post
    thats why I own a gun that takes care of the stalker problem
    Is it wise to court stalkers planning to shoot them later? Just asking - maybe it would be better to not have them in the first place.

    A) if you do this a lot you are going to wind up with more time wasters than spenders - guys are going to (understandably in this context) think you want to meet them there recreationally. I mean you just invited a stranger who tried to "pick you up" to your bar. They are going to think it's a date.
    B) most girls will not want to to respond to guys who try to meet them on the street - it engenders persistence, not spending.
    C) It means that he knows whereabouts you live or shop - stuff most girls will want to keep private from customers; after the encouragement of "come see work naked at this club" they will not think they are stalking you to seek you out again, and they will, in fact, not be stalking you by any legal standard. They will have good reason to believe that their advances are, in fact, welcome. That means you can't shoot them.
    D) Most girls will not want to be "working" when they are not working
    E) It gives guys no idea that you expect to have a private life outside the club
    F) Way to cultivate a lousy brand of customer.

    Sorry, not trying to pick on you; but in most North American cities this will not be an effective technique.
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

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    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: How I handle men that approach me in the street

    That was a serious misuse of your information. Did you consider calling his employer?
    Quote Originally Posted by greeneyedgrl View Post
    OMG! One time I had got health insurance and my agent was this guy from Utah. Anyhow, he knew where I worked because of all the paperwork and had my phone #. Can you believe that like 6 months later, this guy called me and had the nerves to ask me if I would come to his hotel???? And then when I tell him I don't go to people's hotels, he asked if I would be at work that night. I told him I might be there, but I didn't show up. Dude, WTF?? You were at my house, met my husband and my kid!!!! Some fucking nerve!!! I never tell anyone who I don't know, what I do or did for a living anymore. If it's paperwork I just put entertainer or independent contractor now. So, don't tell them where you work at or that you're a dancer!!!!!
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

  10. #35
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    Default Re: How I handle men that approach me in the street

    I've been so tempted to start wearing a ring just so I'm left alone more often. Bullshit gets old every time I go to get a burrito or buy cigarettes or get my oil changed. I was followed across the parking lot at the grocery store the other day too. It's a little flattering, but it's insulting that someone would assume that unsolicited comments and gestures are ok. Are you paying me? No? Fuck off!

    This is how I want it to work.
    A. Male makes unnecessary comment to let you know that he knows that you know that you are sexy etc etc.
    B. Dirty look.
    C. Instead of him turning into the biblical pillar of salt instantaneously, he becomes a small pile of cash on the floor of the Publix Deli or the gas station or the parking lot. I would pay attention to him then.
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  11. #36
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    Default Re: How I handle men that approach me in the street

    You know... you're only paranoid until something bad happens. Then you're smart.


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    Default Re: How I handle men that approach me in the street

    Quote Originally Posted by paintgoddess View Post
    I've been so tempted to start wearing a ring just so I'm left alone more often.

    Sadly I've done this and...it doesn't work! lol

    Instead getting the normal pick up lines they come at you from this angle

    loser:"so is your husband treating you right?"
    me: "yes thank you "
    loser:"well that must mean hes not controling and lets you have friends right? so when can I take you out to dinner?"
    Me: this is when I say something fucked up like well "my husband is waiting for me in the car right now and he hates when guys try to talk to me even after I say I'm married,which is why I just had to pick him up from the county but maybe if you come with me and ask nicely he will say yes ...so come on follow me!?"

    This usually pisses them off and they walk away but one time one smart ass really said ok lets go and my bf almost killed the dude oh well
    before you point the finger make sure your hands are clean

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    Veteran Member Allice's Avatar
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    Default Re: How I handle men that approach me in the street

    I wear an obnoxiously large, obviously displayed pride flag on my purse (I'm femme, so I'm otherwise always assumed to be just straight) and I'll *see* men looking right at it, and they still proceed to hit on me.

    I like to generally keep my stripper life and my day-to-day life separate, and you never know when that "normal" guy will turn out to be a psychopath. There are a list of serial killers who were charming, sometimes attractive men.

  14. #39
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    Default Re: How I handle men that approach me in the street

    Quote Originally Posted by sexyjasmine View Post
    Sadly I've done this and...it doesn't work! lol

    Instead getting the normal pick up lines they come at you from this angle

    loser:"so is your husband treating you right?"
    me: "yes thank you "
    loser:"well that must mean hes not controling and lets you have friends right? so when can I take you out to dinner?"
    Yup. A lot of guys are scum. When I first got married I thought "Great, now I have a ring on, the guys will leave me alone". Not a chance.

    I did get a different type of guy though - the married ones. I would say, "Sorry, I'm married". They would hold up their hand and say, "That's OK, so am I".

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    Default Re: How I handle men that approach me in the street

    What gets me is if you WANTED to fuck, you wouldn't say you're married. Obviously 'I'm married' a BRUSH OFF dickweed!


    Look like a woman
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    - My Great Grandmother Bessie's Recipe for Success

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    Featured Member Sveta's Avatar
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    Default Re: How I handle men that approach me in the street

    Quote Originally Posted by paintgoddess View Post
    C. Instead of him turning into the biblical pillar of salt instantaneously, he becomes a small pile of cash on the floor of the Publix Deli or the gas station or the parking lot. I would pay attention to him then.
    LOL!

    I love wearing huge sunglasses when I go out. They look very high-fashion, keep the glaring sun out of my eyes AND prevent random guys from making contact and talking to me. Win.

    I don't know exactly what it is about a hot pair of sunglasses that just screams "un-approachable", but they always work. It's like you can look right through people.
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