This is just a feeling sorry for myself thread, for some reason I feel like I need to keep up my tough facade and act like I dont care about it irl, but the truth is I feel like I have a big boulder in my heart.
My wedding is in September and we are having it in my mum's garden, because it is big and pretty and kid proof and I didnt want a church or a reception hall or anything fancy and expensive.
I must admit I didnt even think about how it would make dad feel until after I had started making arrangements. I havent seen him in like 3 years, we speak a few times a year on birthdays and christmas. He lives about 4 hours away and never comes to visit, and I never go to visit him. He has only seen my 5 yr old twice in her life and has never even met my baby yet. So obviously we are not close. I dont think I've even gotten a birthday card off him in the past 15 years or so.
Mum divorced him about 20 years ago now, and he has not spoken to her since, except once to tell her what a bad mother she was when I was going a bit nutso as a teenager.. he's a crap father, on so many levels, I thought I didnt care anymore, I am just totally floored at how much this hurts.
Thanks if you managed to read that little novel of whining, I needed to get it out.![]()



Reply With Quote



Bookmarks