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Thread: So upset, frustrated, pissed off!

  1. #1
    God/dess Sirona's Avatar
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    Default So upset, frustrated, pissed off!

    So here's the backstory:

    My youngest daughter Sarah (age 14) and I were in a car accident on July 31st. I lost conciousness and drifted across (it's a 2 lane highway) from the right hand lane into the high speed lane and hit the Jersey barrier.

    I don't remember anything except feeling odd for a minute and then her waking me so the rest is information collected from her.

    She wasn't paying much attention so when I started to drift into the other lane she assumed I was making a lane change until she realized we were about to hit a mini-van.

    She looked over and saw my slumped against the drivers door/window. Instead of freaking out (she's a fucking amazing kid) she started trying to bring me to, which she did. At that point we were up against the barrier kida of up on the bottom lip of the concrete.

    I came to and had no fucking idea what had happened. I barely knew where I was. I managed to get us back across both lanes and into the breakdown lane on the right. I called Mike.

    I was disoriented and could barely put together anything coherant. He told me to call the police and I did.

    They showed up and kept asking what happened. I told them I fainted and had no idea why or what happened. There were two staties there, one kept asking over and over what happened, I was crying and trying to explain that I didn't know. The other asked me to pop my trunk to see if I had a spare (my front right tire was totally shredded.

    I keep all my work shoes in the trunk.
    Now they start asking if i've been drinking, if I had taken any drugs etc.

    Ok fine, I understand that maybe the girls in the industry they deal with on a regular basis maybe are the ones driving home drunk or whatever but dude, WTF, it's 11am!

    I go by ambulance to the hospital and get checked out and am told I had a seizure and to see my doctor.

    Mike shows up at the accident scene and they start asking him what I do for work and if I do drugs or drink a lot. He tells them where I work and that no I don't drink all the time and do not have a drug problem.

    I see her (my doc) and she confirms it was a seizure and that i've been having partial seizures (no loss of conciousness) most of my life.

    It's a lot to have tossed in your lap at once.

    Anyways i'd had a fainting spell in the past (years ago) but had been told it was a simple fainting episode so I had NO idea. It's not like I knew I had them and drove anyways.

    Now I get a citation in the mail with criminal charges of operating to endanger and disregarding marked lanes.

    Criminal? Fucking OMG are you fucking kidding me?

    I had NO FUCKING idea I had a pre-exsisting condition that might make me lose conciousness while driving. Like i'd do that with my kid in that car too.

    I have nothing on my driving record. Nothing. Not even a speeding ticket. But now all of the sudden i'm charged with criminal behavior.

    That's fucking fantastic.

    You know, i've NEVER had an issue with cops ever and have always been treated fairly when ever i've had to deal with any. Fuck. My adoptive parents were both cops.

    Now i've got a couple of assholes who seem to (maybe i'm over analyzing, maybe i'm just generally upset and stressed and freaking out) have it out for me because I had platform shoes in my fucking car.

    Fuck!

    As it stands i've been told by my doctors not to drive until i've been seen by both a neurologist and cardiologist and have a bunch of tests run. I can't get to work, fuck I can't even go buy milk.

    I'm so fucking upset.

    So now, now I get to add a court hearing to everything else going on.

    *sigh*





  2. #2
    Veteran Member MissDewdrop's Avatar
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    Default Re: So upset, frustrated, pissed off!

    OMG! I'm hoping that your medical records will be enough to straighten things out. They should be. After all, if you were never officially diagnosed with a seizure disorder, they'd be hard pressed to prove otherwise. Sometimes the system is illogical and kooky, though, so talking things over with a lawyer would be a good idea. So sorry this happened to you.

  3. #3
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: So upset, frustrated, pissed off!

    That's terrible. I'm so sorry this is happening.

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    Default Re: So upset, frustrated, pissed off!

    I'm so sorry this happened! What a way to find out you have seizures. *hug* Make sure you get a good lawyer and get all of your medical records ready.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: So upset, frustrated, pissed off!

    I'm very sorry to hear this. If it's any consolation, I don't think there is any way you could be found guilty with your medical evidence. Nonetheless, I understand the process is painful. I wish you the best.

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    God/dess Susan-Va's Avatar
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    Default Re: So upset, frustrated, pissed off!

    Glad you guys are safe! That could have been tragic.

    I'd get a lawyer about the charges. I find it hard to believe that this could stick if you didn't know you were having seizures.

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    God/dess VegasPrincess's Avatar
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    Default Re: So upset, frustrated, pissed off!

    I'm so sorry that happened! Yes, DEFINITELY "lawyer up!".....contact an attorney about this.

    Sadly, it seems like the cops assumed bc you are a dancer you were drinking/doing drugs...which is unfounded, lame and won't hold up in court.

    You were never diagnosed with this before, so the endangerment charge should drop. If you do get the failing to ignore marked lanes, that really is not a big deal TBTH. Also the fact that you have a clean driving record and that your daughter can give a statement should do justice for you and you should ecpect to see these things dismissed.
    Sexy Jasmine after getting fucked over at work:

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  8. #8
    TheSexKitten
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    Default Re: So upset, frustrated, pissed off!

    What a frustrating and shitty situation! I agree with the others that you have almost completely sound chance of getting all the charges dropped, but I understand how much stress this must be bringing you.

  9. #9
    God/dess Sirona's Avatar
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    Default Re: So upset, frustrated, pissed off!

    Thanks guys. It's been a trying week!



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    Default Re: So upset, frustrated, pissed off!

    You should be able to get your drivers license back in 6 months.

  11. #11
    God/dess Sirona's Avatar
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    Default Re: So upset, frustrated, pissed off!

    ^^^ Ya I know. I already looked that up.
    6 months is a long time in a house full of teenagers etc.



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    Default Re: So upset, frustrated, pissed off!

    Quote Originally Posted by Sirona View Post
    ^^^ Ya I know. I already looked that up.
    6 months is a long time in a house full of teenagers etc.
    Any of them 16 yet?

  13. #13
    God/dess Sirona's Avatar
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    Default Re: So upset, frustrated, pissed off!

    Ya but he doesn't have his license yet, although he should soon.
    He's actually turning 18 in September. He didn't want to do the driver's ed so he's waiting to turn 18.

    I also have a daughter who's 16 but she is currently living with her dad.

    Fuck.

    I just realized i'm old lol.



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    Banned All Good Things's Avatar
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    Default Re: So upset, frustrated, pissed off!

    You've had excellent advice so far, but I would like to encourage you to follow a specific order and plan as you move forward.

    The very first thing you need to do, before seeing any neurologists or cardiologists or doctors of any kind, is research, retain and consult with an extremely good criminal defense attorney, preferably one who works exclusively in traffic court or superior court (whichever hears your case in your state). Even better if you can find one who was a former prosecutor in that jurisdiction. Not only do they know the other prosecutors personally, they know where all the loopholes are.

    The endangering charge is what concerns me. Depending on the jurisdiction and the law, there may be mandatory jail time. Frankly, I'm amazed that they didn't arrest you on the spot if they intended to charge you with endangering. In Virginia, they hold you in jail on the charge, mandatory, under state law, on the theory that you are a danger to the public (sorry). I believe they can hold you for 48 hours in most states before they run into habeas corpus problems.

    The fact that they have a more reasonable approach by simply informing you of a criminal offense is actually good news for you. It means that you are unlikely to be subject to any idiotic mandatory laws.

    The reason for securing the attorney first is that s/he needs to set up a case before you go out and collect the evidence in the form of a physical examination and the reports the physicians will issue. S/he may also want to direct you to specific cardiologists or neurologists s/he's used to testify on behalf of defendants with seizure issues before. A good attorney will also fly the case by the prosecutor's office and see how hard they are going to push on that charge. If s/he can assemble enough of a case in your favor, then obviously the next step would be to work out a deal with the prosecutor to dismiss that charge when you first appear in court. Also, the prosecutors have a lot of cases to get through each day and if they are going to have to fight tooth-and-nail with a former colleague, with evidence this flimsy, they will simply want to get it off the docket themselves.

    If you need advice on how to find an attorney of this caliber, please PM me and I'd be more than glad to help.

    Good luck. From your description, at least, it sounds like you will have little to worry about in the long run. Just make sure you have a true professional watching out for you every step of the way.

  15. #15
    God/dess Sirona's Avatar
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    Default Re: So upset, frustrated, pissed off!

    I wasn't arrested because I haven't been formally charged.
    I have to have a hearing with a Magistrate to see if charges should be filed.

    Oh and in Massachusetts punishment for operating to endanger is license suspension for 6o days to 1 year and a $500 reinstatement fee.
    Last edited by Sirona; 08-07-2008 at 10:49 PM.



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    Veteran Member boxingdoc's Avatar
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    Default Re: So upset, frustrated, pissed off!

    I have to disagree with TOO. If you are having seizures, you need to see a neurologist ASAP. Continuing seizures can cause permanent brain damage that cannot be corrected, unlike legal hassles.

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    Moderator Optimist's Avatar
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    Default Re: So upset, frustrated, pissed off!

    GET A LAWYER BEFORE YOU GO TO YOUR NEXT HEARING! I say that so strenuously because you cannot begin to imagine the respect and fear local yokel prosecutors and judges have for defendants with good representation.

    Cops have quotas and the moment they saw you were a dancer they knew they could railroad your life into any direction they felt like. They could give a fuck about your welfare. You're lowlife scum to them. That's why they think you have to be a drunk or druggie out recklessly endangering the public and your child because that's what dancer's do! They don't want to know you're a responsible adult.
    “What a caterpillar calls the end of the world we call a butterfly.” - ECKHART TOLLE

  18. #18
    Banned All Good Things's Avatar
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    Default Re: So upset, frustrated, pissed off!

    All that is good news.

    They should allow you to have counsel with you in your hearing before the Magistrate. If so, I'd say you have a good chance of getting the endangering charge dismissed.

    So much rests on the diagnoses you are going to get, and you want your attorney's guidance on that and your next steps. I think -- but I may be wrong -- that in most states the burden of proof on the prosecution would be to demonstrate that you knowingly operated a motor vehicle while in a condition subject to seizures.

    Oh wait, Massachusetts is a commonwealth. So is Virginia, for that matter. Well, the same general laws apply.

    One last thought, and then I'll shut up and stop being a typical man full of advice on things you probably already know.

    For the sake of your future ability to drive, I hope your seizure was an anomaly and unlikely to recur. If there is any medication you can take to lower the likelihood of seizures, you might consider that. The next step after you get the endangering charge dismissed is making sure that you retain your license.

    Quote Originally Posted by boxingdoc View Post
    I have to disagree with TOO. If you are having seizures, you need to see a neurologist ASAP. Continuing seizures can cause permanent brain damage that cannot be corrected, unlike legal hassles.
    Just to clarify: I'm not suggesting she not contact a neurologist quickly. I just want her to hire a very good lawyer first. The neurologist's findings will constitute evidence and the lawyer may have a way to direct it in a favorable light (I'm assuming this because it's the first and only seizure and she has no history of them.)

    Two things to do right away.

  19. #19
    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: So upset, frustrated, pissed off!

    Were the police even aware of the medical finding when you got your notice to appear? I mean, get a lawyer and stuff, but based on this sequence of events I would think it will probably be fine.

    Fortunately you do not have to choose between medical and legal attention - you can have both in fairly close order.
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

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    God/dess Sirona's Avatar
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    Default Re: So upset, frustrated, pissed off!

    boxingdoc, I have appointments to see both a neurologist and a cardiologist with lots of fun tests in the works.

    TOO, that was the first time I was told I was having seizures (the Monday after the accident). So there was no prior knowledge.

    Jenny, I doubt the police knew about the medical findings. They had asked (at the scene of the accident) if i'd ever had anything like that happen before and I had told them no.



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    God/dess phillyvixen's Avatar
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    Default Re: So upset, frustrated, pissed off!

    i am sorry this happened to you
    I'm so glad you and your daughter are both safe, how very scary!
    I hope it all gets worked out easily



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    Senior Member The Other Half's Avatar
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    Default Re: So upset, frustrated, pissed off!

    Sirona, I'm sorry to hear that you are going through all this shit!

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    Default Re: So upset, frustrated, pissed off!

    That sucks so bad, I wonder how it would have went had you not had your shoes in the trunk. I totally have been suspected of drugs (which i dont do)by cops just b/c im a stripper and always fear being pulled over for the most simple things when i have my dance bag in the truck, just b/c I feel like they want to punish me for being a dancer, seriously.

    I'm really glad you didn't get hurt!

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    Default Re: So upset, frustrated, pissed off!

    Sirona I am so sorry. That must have been a frightening exp and now you have to deal with this shit. Thank god you are ok and that your daughter was with you at the time.

    As for the court hearing, I believe that you will be fine. Seeing as you weren't aware of your medical situation at the time you had no way of conveying what had happened to the police. Just make sure that you have your medical records and I would definitely consider consulting a lawyer just in case.

    Good luck on your neurologist appt.


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    God/dess UtahMike's Avatar
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    Default Re: So upset, frustrated, pissed off!

    I am so very glad that both you and your daughter came through this with no injuries. You could very easily both be dead now. God was taking care of you that day.

    You've had a lot of good advice on going to court, so I am not going to add any.

    I want to tell you about my wife.

    13 years ago, I took my son to the doctor for his physical to enter high school. When we came home, Mrs. UtahMike was standing in the middle of the living room, staring into space and disoriented. She had wet her pants. She did not remember anything that had happened in the last couple of hours..

    It took a while, but I talked her into going to see our doctor, who put her right into his schedule that day. He suspected a grand mal seizure and ordered some tests, including blood tests, an EEG, and an MRI. He also referred her to a neurologist.

    The test results were evaluated and a grand mal seizure was diagnosed. Mrs. UtahMike had to surrender her driver's license. Medication was prescribed, which she did not like but took. (Mrs. UtahMike does not like to take medicine for anything. She prefers to get well on her own.)

    After six months, she was given her license back, but with limited privileges. She could drive only during the day and only within thirty miles of home. No long trips. Also, she could not drive without another licensed driver in the car.

    Every three months after that, the driver's license bureau would send her a form for her doctor to fill out which stated that she had had no more seizures. When they received it back, they would grant her more driving privileges.

    After two years, her driving privileges were fully restored, but every six months she had to send in a form from the doctor again. After five years, they no longer required the form. About this same time, she began weening herself off the medication, and eventually stopped taking it at all. She has been seizure free for thirteen years now.

    Officially, the seizure was classed as "idiopathic," which means they don't know or can't prove what caused it. However, our present doctor, when told about this, gave us this opinion: At this time in her life, Mrs. UtahMike went cold turkey off her heavy drinking and smoking. He feels that when her body stopped getting the alcohol and nicotine to which it was addicted, she had a seizure.

    Anyway. You will be inconvenienced in your freedom by not being able to drive, but the alternative is that if you do drive and had another seizure, you might not be so lucky next time. You might kill yourself and your passengers and some innocent people. So, you can't drive for now. But you will be able to drive again. You just have to figure out a way to get around for now.

    Your seizures can be controlled by medication, and you it is likely that you may eventually not need that medication any more.

    So good luck to you, and congratulations on having such a great daughter. Not everyone her age could have handled such a situation.

    You will be in my prayers. God bless.

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