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Thread: day job dilemma

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    Default day job dilemma

    im starting a lot of threads these days lol. sorry.. i just have been doing a lot of thinking.

    i do love my day job. i work with autistic kids, for those who don't know. i don't want to just dance. really, i don't. i don't want a blank resume, and even if my paychecks are tiny, it's SOMETHING just in case i'm having a bad week or whatever dancing. also, i love the balance it brings to my life. when i'm just dancing, like right now while the school is on break, i feel kind of 'off' because i don't have a lot of structure. but i feel so much less stressed, too. (i dont want to, and won't, stop dancing, either)

    during the school year (which runs for a month in summer too), i work mon, wed, fri day, and mon wed fri sat night. my nights to dance are set in stone, bc i cant dance the night before i have to be at work at 7:45am. i like having as much money as possible so i can save and never have to worry. there isnt much money out there working with kids in the capacity that i want to, so i HAVE to think about my future, financially. i am thinking about taking mon nights off in the future, though, and only dancing 3 nights a week. that isnt negotiable, we're supposed to have 4 nights at my club anyway, so doing 3 is really the minimum.

    that doesnt give me much free time, though. i work nonstop 3 days a week, plus another night a week, and i might have 3 days off but theyre short days. i cant go out or anything bc i have to be in bed early.

    right now, i'm so much less stressed. that's probably a combination of quitting my old club and not having such a jam packed schedule. i really don't know what to do because i don't want to quit, but it causes me a lot of stress. i mean, for those of you who i "know," how much am i complaining about having to go? the kids are new kids who i don't love nearly as much as our old group.

    so.. kind of i don't know what to do. it's important to me to do, because in a way i almost feel like its charity work. i get a lousy $12/hr and it's something that i do because i want to, not because i need to. but i don't really know how to lower my stress levels with a schedule like that.

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    Default Re: day job dilemma

    Can you switch to part time at the school?Or maybe not work at the school, but do something that is less time consuming, like volunteering. You could still put that on your resume and have all the time you need to dance and bank your money for the future. I would definately cut back the dancing to 3 nights if you still wanna be at the school.

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    Default Re: day job dilemma

    i am part time at the school. i work there mon/wed/fri. i'm going to try to cut back to 3 nights dancing and see what they say..

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    Default Re: day job dilemma

    I wish I had better advice...but I feel your pain. I am also juggling a full-time day job, dancing two nights a week, and considering going back to school to pursue a new career since I really don't like my current day job very much.

    It sucks not having much time to do the things you really want to do. I don't get to do yoga as much as I want to anymore...and I really miss spending time with my friends . Luckily I do always have Sundays...the one day where I let myself do whatever the hell I want!!

    Ideally...what sort of situation do you want to be in? What kind of work would make you happy?
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    Default Re: day job dilemma

    Quote Originally Posted by Ava Jadore View Post
    Ideally...what sort of situation do you want to be in? What kind of work would make you happy?
    This is important... do you get up in the morning and have an idea of where the work you're doing now will ultimately lead you? I have an office job and as tedious as it gets (luckily the work environment is fantastic, just the job) I see myself here for about 2 more years, and there is a specific international company i want to one day be qualified for.. .so i try to see myself as working toward that.

    It's $12/hr -- where is that going?

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    Default Re: day job dilemma

    it's going nowhere. well, that's a lie. if i wanted to stop dancing it could go anywhere i wanted.

    they will pay, 100% for you to go to school. in any field that relates to SOMETHING they do, which is pretty much anything, bc its a huge institute (i just work in the school part). and you owe nothing. you can quit the day after graduation and you're good.

    also, like i said, its a huge institute and i could move up if i so chose, once i took classes for whatever it was i wanted to do. it also looks really good on a resume. but there isnt much money in ANYTHING i would want to do, now or later, in my field, unless youre in administration or something like that. and i like being hands on with the kids, not overseeing other people doing that. so that's a problem, you know?

    my main problem, i think, is that im not the person who wants to wake up early in the morning and has to be on time to the exact minute, etc. because of dancing, i havent been forced to see if theres something i can see myself doing forever. dancing gives me the freedom to not have to suffer in a job where i dont make a lot etc.

    i almost didnt take this job. i did an internship here and was planning on substitute teaching instead and continuing to dance. but i loved the kids so much that i decided to stay at the very last minute (the last day of my internship). part of me feels like its like my old club - i just need to go. but then the rest of me thinks i have it pretty good - not many places, doing what i want to do, will allow me to work part time during the day. there are other things i could do, like going to homes to work with the kids through another company that i know of, but that's mostly night hours, so there goes the dancing.

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    God/dess anomar's Avatar
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    Default Re: day job dilemma

    is there a career services office @ the school? if so, you might want to make an appointment to go in. you can talk about all sorts of stuff - ask them to put you in touch w/ graduates from the school who are still in the area, just get your resume brushed up, find options for being out of there. i know with my college, they have a database of people like that where you can contact them & they're willing to talk to you.

    also, part of it might just be getting acclimated. luckily my work starts at 9:30, and 9 am is not a bad time to wake up... but i've adjusted.

    i dunno. for myself, i danced full time for a couple of years while doing lots of volunteer work. so eventually dancing stopped making me happy.. and then the perfect job (for where i am in life right now) was posted, and I was qualified! and it's not something i can see myself doing for more than another year or so, but i know i'm great for it right now.

    but you statement "it's going nowhere. well, that's a lie. if i wanted to stop dancing it could go anywhere i wanted."... is telling.

    i think you seem to be in a position where you understand objectively that you are kind of getting the best of both worlds (the $$ of dancing and the 'future investment' of your day job), but it's not very satisfying overall still?

    but part of that is probably also just being young and having so many opportunities in life that nothing really sticks out.

    so... yeah like i said in the first paragraph, try to just get some career guidance. nothing to immediately follow of course, but having a general idea of where you want to be in five years. (man, it would be cool if you could dance and raise enough money to fund Miss Britt's Home For Wayward Children! ) good luck.

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    Default Re: day job dilemma

    Quote Originally Posted by britt244 View Post
    it's going nowhere. well, that's a lie. if i wanted to stop dancing it could go anywhere i wanted.

    they will pay, 100% for you to go to school. in any field that relates to SOMETHING they do, which is pretty much anything, bc its a huge institute (i just work in the school part). and you owe nothing. you can quit the day after graduation and you're good.
    That sounds like a great deal. And it sounds like you really love your job. I think, when you love what you do, you can make it work somehow. If I remember correctly, you are single with no kids, right? Now is the best time in your life to do something like this. You don't have anything to lose. And if you don't take the leap you might end up regretting it for the rest of your life.

    my main problem, i think, is that im not the person who wants to wake up early in the morning and has to be on time to the exact minute, etc. because of dancing, i havent been forced to see if theres something i can see myself doing forever. dancing gives me the freedom to not have to suffer in a job where i dont make a lot etc.
    People all over get by on low salaries. That's not to say you should be content with making a low amount forever, but there are ways to cut back on expenses to make it work. Again, it depends on how dedicated you are to this work. If it is something you love, you will want to do it more and more as you go along in your education.

    Dancing is such a trap sometimes. We feel like we can't ever quit because we won't make enough, but people do it all the time. And you never know if you'll meet the man of your dreams and end up in a two income situation. Those are the kind of details you can work out as you go.

    i almost didnt take this job. i did an internship here and was planning on substitute teaching instead and continuing to dance. but i loved the kids so much that i decided to stay at the very last minute (the last day of my internship). part of me feels like its like my old club - i just need to go. but then the rest of me thinks i have it pretty good - not many places, doing what i want to do, will allow me to work part time during the day. there are other things i could do, like going to homes to work with the kids through another company that i know of, but that's mostly night hours, so there goes the dancing.
    I think it's really admirable that you do this work. There is a shortage of GOOD people to work with these kids. If you have the patience and the dedication, then go for it. Dancing won't be there forever, but your education and career you choose will be.

    Good luck making this decision. It's an important one.
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    Default Re: day job dilemma

    Quote Originally Posted by Andygirl View Post

    Dancing is such a trap sometimes. We feel like we can't ever quit because we won't make enough, but people do it all the time. And you never know if you'll meet the man of your dreams and end up in a two income situation. Those are the kind of details you can work out as you go.

    Completely. while I was dancing I found it hard to save money at all or to save up for long term goals. Now I make $12/hr after taxes (+ commission and amazing benefits) and I save about 25% of my money. I think that to a great extent, the need is matched by the money. If I were making $200/300 every day again, it would disappear. If you're motivated, your goals will be reached.

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    Default Re: day job dilemma

    Quote Originally Posted by anomar View Post
    is there a career services office @ the school? if so, you might want to make an appointment to go in. you can talk about all sorts of stuff - ask them to put you in touch w/ graduates from the school who are still in the area, just get your resume brushed up, find options for being out of there. i know with my college, they have a database of people like that where you can contact them & they're willing to talk to you.
    i've already graduated college. when i say the school, i mean my job its a school for special ed kids, and i work with autistic children.

    i think you seem to be in a position where you understand objectively that you are kind of getting the best of both worlds (the $$ of dancing and the 'future investment' of your day job), but it's not very satisfying overall still?
    i do really have the best of both worlds, and it isnt that its not satisfying. it's that it's kind of.. too much. it's very stressful. my schedule doesn't leave much time for an actual life, which is one of the biggest stressors for me. that's one of the reasons my last club was so much of my life (my friends, my boyfriend, my BEST friend, these are the only people i hung out with).. because that's all i DID. it's all i have time for. you know?

    Quote Originally Posted by Andygirl View Post
    That sounds like a great deal. And it sounds like you really love your job. I think, when you love what you do, you can make it work somehow. If I remember correctly, you are single with no kids, right? Now is the best time in your life to do something like this. You don't have anything to lose. And if you don't take the leap you might end up regretting it for the rest of your life.
    it is a great deal. i don't want to take advantage of it until i know what i want to do, though. i don't know what i want to be doing forever. my position now is kind of the foot in the door kind of thing. and from there, teach, whatever. i don't want to teach. at all. i HATED student teaching. i've been the happiest when i'm in a lesser position, like i am now. right now i'm an aide. in the past i've been happy working in daycares. i like playing with kids. but i don't KNOW past that. and i don't want to put the time and effort into more school until i know it's going to be good for something. does that make sense?

    Dancing is such a trap sometimes. We feel like we can't ever quit because we won't make enough, but people do it all the time. And you never know if you'll meet the man of your dreams and end up in a two income situation. Those are the kind of details you can work out as you go.
    that's very true. i always say that dancing gives me the freedom to do anything i want - except stop. at this time in my life, honestly, i can't stop. at least for the next year. i just resigned a year lease on my not so cheap apt (the area i live is expensive. i've lived in other places and was not happy at all.) going home is not really an option. and one of the higher ups in HR at my day job says that this is not the place to work if you don't want to be living at home for a long, long time. most people who are there are only there to take advantage of the tuition reimbursement.

    I think it's really admirable that you do this work. There is a shortage of GOOD people to work with these kids. If you have the patience and the dedication, then go for it. Dancing won't be there forever, but your education and career you choose will be.

    Good luck making this decision. It's an important one.
    thank you. when people say stuff like that, that's the kind of thing that makes me want to kick myself for wanting to quit. it's something i'm very proud of, but on the other hand i almost would feel guilty if i stopped. i do love it, though.


    i think i'm just at a very unstable point in my life right now. it makes me question things. i just turned 23, i just finished school in january, and dancing was never in my plan. so it's kind of like things have been turned upside down, in a way. i'm not unhappy, i just.. don't know what happens next. it's always been after high school was college, and then after college there was nothing planned for me. there's always been something coming next, something with an end that lead to another thing. now there isn't something specific, and i don't KNOW what to do next.

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    Default Re: day job dilemma

    oh, and in terms of saving, that's one of the reasons i want to dance as much as i can right now. i went too long without saving, and over the last 8 months or so i've started to. i paid for my BA, however, which took a chunk out. but i'm pretty serious about putting money away for my future, and because i know that there isnt much money in what i do.

    also - most people who work where i do either have parents who pay their bills, because they can't afford them, or have multiple jobs.

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    Default Re: day job dilemma

    Quote Originally Posted by britt244 View Post
    i think i'm just at a very unstable point in my life right now. it makes me question things. i just turned 23, i just finished school in january, and dancing was never in my plan. so it's kind of like things have been turned upside down, in a way. i'm not unhappy, i just.. don't know what happens next. it's always been after high school was college, and then after college there was nothing planned for me. there's always been something coming next, something with an end that lead to another thing. now there isn't something specific, and i don't KNOW what to do next.
    That's completely understandable. The fact that you are really thinking this through and trying to plan for the future is great. When I graduated college in 1998 I had no plan, and I was mixed up in alcoholism and drug addiction. I couldn't plan for the next day, let alone 10 years down the road.

    I had no plan to get a job, and I really feel like I wasted several years that could have been spent paying my dues in a serious career. Now I'm 34 and finally making decisions for the future. It took me so long to get my shit together----DON'T BE LIKE ME.

    I think I had to go the route I did, just because that's how I am. I always take the hard road, not intentionally, but I take it just the same.

    Have you ever taken an aptitude test to see what kind of career best suits you? It might help you narrow it down, or recommend things that you haven't thought about. Here's a site: http://www.careervoyages.gov/
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    Default Re: day job dilemma

    Is there maybe a different club that you could work at that doesn't require a minimum amount of shifts? That way you could instead work 1 or 2 per week and have some free time for yourself and your social life inbetween everything.

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    Default Re: day job dilemma

    I did that kind of schedule for a while, and it was hard. It's much easier for me to be either or. Like, could you work full time at the school for one semester a year, and dance full time the rest of the year (maybe volunteer one day/week when you're dancing to keep your foot in the door)?

    Personally, I feel like the things that are important to me, besides being low paid, are important enough that I want to do them right, not the way a boss tells me to. So I do them for free on my spare time, which I get lots of because I'm a stripper and I live in a van down by the river, so I can support myself and save by working two or three months a year.



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    Default Re: day job dilemma

    I've taught autistic children several times, and they were the most difficult and stressing students I ever taught. There is no one way to deal with all of them, and it requires the greatest concentration and the most consistency.

    I mean, if you've taught awhile and you are teaching a regular classroon, you can fake it if you have to because you know the curriculum and can make up lessons on the fly. You can't do that when you're working with autistic kids.

    You said you did not like student teaching, but that does not mean you would not like teaching. Student teaching is not like real teaching. I could tell the difference the first day I was a contracted teacher.

    Here is a thought: Dancing does not last forever, not any kind of dancing. It is like being a professional athlete, and your body works well when you are young, but there will come a day when you hang up your platform shoes. Or, a slip on a wet floor could rip a muscle and you could be through tomorrow.

    When that day comes, what are you going to do? It sounds to me like you have a talent other than dancing, and it happens that a teacher who can work successfully with autistic children is a teacher that is in demand right now. Here in Utah, more and more private and charter schools that enroll only autistic children are opening every year, and the legislature has funded a scholarship program to pay the tuition of autistic children at private schools.

    You said you love the children, and we need more teachers who do.

    Education needs teachers like you. They are so in demand in Utah right now that school districts are hiring people with college degrees and no teaching license, then paying them as they take courses to get a license for special ed. If you were here, I could steer you to a job tomorrow. I am aure it is the same elsewhere, too.

    Consider special ed as a career for when you hang up those shoes.

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    Default Re: day job dilemma

    ^ i never really wanted to teach. i like playing with kids. haha. which is why i like daycare type work more. i used to want to run my own daycare/private preschool, but like i said, i like being hands on with the kids, not in an administrative position.

    Quote Originally Posted by shanna dior View Post
    Is there maybe a different club that you could work at that doesn't require a minimum amount of shifts? That way you could instead work 1 or 2 per week and have some free time for yourself and your social life inbetween everything.
    no. i just came to this club and i am very happy here. i'm not leaving. i also do not want to cut back my dancing shifts. as i said, i am building a future for myself through dancing. i have the opportunity to save a lot of money so that i CAN take the lower paying jobs doing something i enjoy in the future, and i'm not going to slack on that. those extra shifta a week add up to a lot.

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    Default Re: day job dilemma

    ive been in such a carefree, happy mood lately. i cant tell if its because i left my old club or im not working during the day.. but i dont know what i'll do if i go back and get super stressed out again. it isnt worth it to run myself ragged.. but i dont really know what to do because i dont want an empty resume. i want to stay there at least a year. (it will be a year anyway but part of that was an internship before i was technically working)

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