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Thread: Was I wrong?

  1. #1
    Member manda_baby's Avatar
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    Default Was I wrong?

    So I get a call today around 11ish form my mother saying that my dad is in the hospital, a lady had found him unconscious in an alley at around 3 this morning. So I freak of course, and have her come get me. We pick up my sister and head to the hospital.

    We get there, and are informed hes not allowed any visitors b/c hes very uncooperative. They wouldn't give us any other info. We leave an go and wait for the hospital to cal and say he can have visitors. Well, 2 hours pass and I call back. Hes still allowed no visitors. About 20 minutes later, I get a call saying hes being released.

    We go and pick him up and he doesn't really remember what happened. They had him in a "nut" room (sorry to put it that way), with only a very simple bed. He had apparently just passed out b/c his sugar was up around 500 (he's a very bad diabetic and also a pill (oxy and xanax) addict) and he had been out drinking heavily when he left home (he lives with my sister).

    Now mind you, just the previous Friday, he had been sent home from work on leave for the second time b/c hes paranoid everybody he works with is out to get him.

    Anyways, we get to my sisters and they're all laughing an talking like nothings wrong. I was ready to go home b/c I've been up since 5:20 this morning for work. Well my mom tells me shes taking him to get more drugs not even 20 minutes AFTER hes home from the hospital. I've been over this a few times that all she is doing is helping his addiction by taking him and her excuse is that hes gonna do it anyway. I understand how addiction is, I lived with him for 10 years with these problems before I told him I had had enough and moved out on my own. The only reason she takes him is because her and my step dad also have a problem with xanax's, but nowhere near as bad as my dad.

    We started arguing about it and I finally tell them both that I'm done that I cant take it anymore. Im doing the bast I can to be the best person I can be and all they're worried about is drugs. I said that until they were drug-free, they need not contact me in any way, which breaks my heart, b/c growing up my dad was absolutely my hero and now I don't even really know him anymore. I miss my dad...

    But as I was leaving (I had to walk from Franklin, Oh to Dayton), my mom told me I need to get over myself and quit being such a spoiled little bitch, telling me I'm losing the only family I have left b/c I cant deal wit they're drug habits anymore. Which is true, they are they on;y family I have left, but I cant handle it anymore.

    So am I missing something here?
    Was I wrong for telling them not to bother with me anymore till they were drug-free?

  2. #2
    God/dess cinammonkisses's Avatar
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    Default Re: Was I wrong?

    Quote Originally Posted by manda_baby View Post

    But as I was leaving (I had to walk from Franklin, Oh to Dayton)
    omg seriously..you didn't walk from Franklin home? Anyway, to answer your question, wow this really sucks. Drug abuse can be hard thing to cope, especially when it's accepted by the entire family.

    I take it your mom is using them as well? I know me, and I would probably get them out of my life. I am at the point of my life where I don't want other peoples misery to weigh themselves down on me. Maybe you should get some pamphlets or something and leave them at your parents house

    Do you think they want help, but are to weak to ask for it? How long have they been doing drugs? Me personally, I just can't deal with that kind of negativity in my life. I'll keep you in my prayers







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  3. #3
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: Was I wrong?

    I think you did what you had to do for your own emotional health. Good for you.

  4. #4
    Member manda_baby's Avatar
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    Default Re: Was I wrong?

    I seriously did walk and Im so sore.

    My mom does the xanax. What really blows my mind about all this is that she DIVORCED him almost 16 years ago for this exact reason.

    My dads been doing them for as long as my 26 year old mind can remember. And neither one of them think they have a problem...

  5. #5
    Glamazon
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    Default Re: Was I wrong?

    Good for you for standing your ground. Sometimes parents need tough love, too.

  6. #6
    God/dess holiday's Avatar
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    Default Re: Was I wrong?

    You poor thing. I also think you did the right thing. Sounds like they need "tough love" from you, and you need to distance yourself from that. It's sad though. Best of luck staying strong.
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  7. #7
    God/dess Polekitten's Avatar
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    Default Re: Was I wrong?

    I agree with everything thats been said. Sometimes you just need to be selfish and look after no.1. It sounds like you've been as understanding as a person can be but tyhere comes a time when the understanding has to stop and self preservation takes over. Well done for taking a stand and looking after yourself.



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  8. #8
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: Was I wrong?

    Good for you. My maternal family enables my addicted brother. Now he missed all his chances to shape up and will die a broke miserable man. Find a new family unit- I did.

  9. #9
    God/dess VegasPrincess's Avatar
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    Default Re: Was I wrong?

    ^^^

    Yes. Your family is your family but honestly friends are family too. My close friends I would call b4 my blood relatives if I needed help.

    Honestly, you did what was right for you. You can only hope they change. Maybe call them once in a while and try to motivate them but....thats all you can do. Its not your fault and you dont need to be stuck in that situation.
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