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Thread: is honesty really the best policy??

  1. #26
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    Default Re: is honesty really the best policy??

    Quote Originally Posted by i.breathe.in View Post
    story of my life.
    we must have the same lives. haha.

  2. #27
    Featured Member dangerousdiva's Avatar
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    Default Re: is honesty really the best policy??

    Quote Originally Posted by snoopy View Post
    honesty is the best policy imho.

    BUT, complete disclosure isn't always necessary. keeping silent isn't lying.

    just because it's the/your truth, doesn't mean you have to volunteer the info/comment/opinion/etc.

    but i abhor liars. you lie, you kill a bit of your soul. you lie, you waste your time and mine. you can't tell me the truth, then don't say anything to me.
    I totally aggree.

    I try to always be honest when someone asks. That's the biggest qualification.

    Also, if someone is fishing for compliments and I don't agree, I will not answer or change the subject.

    Going with the previous example:
    "I'm so tired". I think , yes she looks tired but say nothing because she didn't ask.
    "Do I look tired?" I say, "yes you do".

    One thing I find hard is being honest with friends when they ask for relationship advice. They don't always take it and then it gets awkward.

    However, if you have a bugger, food in your teethe, reek like BO ect...I will tell you without being asked as tactfully and privately as possible.

    If you're a stranger on the internet I give it to you straight though

  3. #28
    Veteran Member OmgShesWild's Avatar
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    Default Re: is honesty really the best policy??

    Quote Originally Posted by Tauries View Post
    In regards to "losing" people that required being lied to in order to maintain the relationship....you didn't "lose" anything because it wasn't real to begin with. I feel ya on your point IBI though, it isn't always easy.

    Yup that is true...I agree with you 110%


    Oh yeah and to clarify---most of the losing people has been in regards to me being honest about my involvement in the adult industry & men. If someone asks me a question where a white lie is approriate (i.e. dose my butt look fat in this) and they are looking for me to feed into there ego type questions---whatever---most often I will fib a bit. But when it comes to the serious stuff and what makes me, ME.... I find it really hard to lie & be convincing when I do so.


  4. #29
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    Default Re: is honesty really the best policy??

    Quote Originally Posted by snoopy View Post
    honesty is the best policy imho.

    BUT, complete disclosure isn't always necessary. keeping silent isn't lying.

    just because it's the/your truth, doesn't mean you have to volunteer the info/comment/opinion/etc.
    agree completely. i try not to comment unless it's positive. if i don't say anything, chances are that my opinion is negative.

  5. #30
    Featured Member echomadison's Avatar
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    Default Re: is honesty really the best policy??

    Quote Originally Posted by i.breathe.in View Post
    im always very honest up front and real with people. i dont sugar coat anything, dont say things about other people i wouldnt say to them, and all other things along those lines.

    everytime i try to do the right thing and be honest and tell people how i feel about things it always backfires.

    people say they want honesty but i swear to god anytime i give it out i get shit on.

    please give me your honest opinions (srsly)
    I am blunt, very lacking in the sugar coating AKA: tact department. Most people who know me understand that I am not "being mean" I am just being blunt and honest...almost so much so to a fault. I'll give you an example of how I handled one such thing the other day. Was out with a ex-regular turned friend at a local show, he looks over and says to me "Thank you for putting your hair up in a bun". Now this confuses me because I didnt do it for HIM and I didnt even know he LIKED buns...so I say "Yeah no problem, I didnt have time to wash my hair so I just threw it up". This was of course the truth, I felt I had no reason to lie, I wasnt getting anything OUT of it. He says all butt-hurt like: "You didnt have to say THAT, you could just say your welcome or something". WTF? Um...HUH? So my retort was "Oh ok, didnt know you wanted me to lie to you, I guess I'll work on being more dishonest"...hahaha...To which he said "Oh no, I appreciate your honesty"

    SWEET. Turned that one around quite well!

  6. #31
    Veteran Member MichelleJade's Avatar
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    Default Re: is honesty really the best policy??

    I am always honest. It's actually one of the reasons I have friends - they know they can come to me, and I'll tell them the shirt they bought is damn ugly without hesitation.

    But of course, true honesty is mean, and I try to be a good person... I don't sugar coat, but I'm definitely not rude. It's like constructive criticism - you should tell a person about food in their teeth, but not how big their nose is. And to a person who's never heard something before, making a bold statement really is shocking. Sometimes I do hurt people with my honesty, but most of the time they need to be hurt to see the truth. I'd never do anything that I know would completely hurt someone, though.
    There's only so much you can learn in one place...
    The longer you wait, the more time that you waste.

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    Featured Member Perry's Avatar
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    Default Re: is honesty really the best policy??

    Only if it doesn't hurt.

  8. #33
    God/dess jaizaine's Avatar
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    Default Re: is honesty really the best policy??

    Quote Originally Posted by snoopy View Post
    honesty is the best policy imho.

    BUT, complete disclosure isn't always necessary. keeping silent isn't lying.

    just because it's the/your truth, doesn't mean you have to volunteer the info/comment/opinion/etc.

    but i abhor liars. you lie, you kill a bit of your soul. you lie, you waste your time and mine. you can't tell me the truth, then don't say anything to me.
    Exactly. I hate rude people with no tact who try to hide behind "Im just being honest". I am not referring to u personally IBI just bringing it up coz of this topic.
    If someone asks u a question or for your opinion and u r perfectly honest that's fine. But to be an asshole and just offer your HONEST opinions on things when no one asked for them and they are hurtful is just being an asshole.

    ALL adults should be able to exercise tact.
    Quote Originally Posted by Corgan View Post
    when regulars turn cheap, it's time to kill em off.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lysondra View Post
    You're still a vagina.
    There are many stereotypes about the industry that I work in. Sometimes they can be true but human beings are very diverse creatures and cannot be pigeon-holed into one category.

    Some of the most effortlessly beautiful, kind, intelligent, successful, motivated, driven and ridiculously hilarious women that I have ever met have been dancers. I've met the best friends that I've ever had in this industry.

  9. #34
    Featured Member Jezzebelle's Avatar
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    Default Re: is honesty really the best policy??

    Truth has to be the way.
    Have you ever noticed those types of freinds who agree with you no matter what?
    One example; you leave a dickhead of a partner and they agree he is a dickhead with you, then you stupidly go back tell them how sweet he is being, and they all go `awwww, how adorable`.

    No, I want you to shake me out of it silly!

    My Mom agrees with EVERYTHING I decide and say too, its annoying. I think people like that have no opinion.
    A civilian spends money to look good
    A stripper looks good to make money
    A civilian may be after your wage
    A stripper laughs at your wage

  10. #35
    Featured Member Hatshepsut's Avatar
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    Default Re: is honesty really the best policy??

    Quote Originally Posted by GentlemanX View Post
    Ask yourself if you can handle honesty back. If you can, go for it.
    This, this, and fucking this. Too many people can't eat the meals they serve.
    Quote Originally Posted by twisterinAZ View Post
    The big dick is dangerous. It makes you overlook certain character flaws and bad behavior .

  11. #36
    God/dess Paris's Avatar
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    Default Re: is honesty really the best policy??

    Honesty is what people say they want, but they really don't. Besides, what is to be gained when revealing your opinion that may hurt the other person's feelings? The best way to conduct this kind of social situation is to ask the person to clarify what he/she is asking.

    For instance, if a friend is thinking of changing her hair in some drastic way and asks for your opinion on what she should do, it is best to get an idea as to which way she is leaning in her opinion. If she really likes her current hair style, and you think it is hideous, then by saying something like "Oh thank god! I've thought you needed a decent hair style for a while." could really hurt her feelings. Even though you are answering her question honestly and feel like you are encouraging her to do something positive, you didn't take into account that she already thinks she has great hair.

    When someone asks your opinion, it is best to ask him/her some probing questions before answering to prevent accidentally hurting their feelings. Ask things like:

    "Why do you ask?"
    "What made you think of that?"
    "Is this new or have you been thinking about it for a while?"
    "I really don't know much about that. What are your feelings?"

    This way you can get an idea of how the person feels about the topic, and you can avoid hurting his/her feelings by answering too honestly. Having the info of their own tendencies of opinion can give you an idea as to how blunt or gentle you need to be in answering.

    Just imagine how you would feel if you were excited about something, say a new outfit, and you asked a friend what she thought, and you got a blunt answer of "That dress is awful! Don't waste your money." When in your head you thought the dress was absolutely beautiful and really just wanted your friend to share your opinion, not oppose it.


    Promote yourself and earn more money! This is a business that is owned by strippers for strippers. Let's make that money!


  12. #37
    Featured Member Hatshepsut's Avatar
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    Default Re: is honesty really the best policy??

    ^That, my dear, is known as the Socratic method, and it is great.
    Quote Originally Posted by twisterinAZ View Post
    The big dick is dangerous. It makes you overlook certain character flaws and bad behavior .

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    Default Re: is honesty really the best policy??

    Quote Originally Posted by Perry View Post
    Only if it doesn't hurt.
    ^^

    I agree. There are those times when people ask certain, personal things - and it would prove impossible to tell them the truth without devastating them.

    It's very rare that I end up in a situation similar to what I described above, but it has happened. It sucks.
    Kamryn
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  14. #39
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    Default Re: is honesty really the best policy??

    For the most part people do not want total honesty and others are more than hapy to oblige them by lying. I can't tell how many times I've seen shit like that happen here on SW. Not to mention how many times it's happened in real life. I think people take that old addage "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all" too far. Tell the truth people!
    "A stupid man's report of what a clever man says is never accurate because he unconsciously translates what he hears into something he can understand." - Bertrand Russell

    "It's just a matter of people having low self esteem and being way too easily offended." -Random Guy on a Internet Forum

    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine View Post
    Ya'll bitches need to calm down. Cerously.
    In other words: Boo-motherfucking-hoo

  15. #40
    God/dess Paris's Avatar
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    Default Re: is honesty really the best policy??

    Quote Originally Posted by Hatshepsut View Post
    ^That, my dear, is known as the Socratic method, and it is great.
    It is great. I have some pretty rigid ideas about some personal tastes, but if another person likes something I don't, there is no harm in keeping my mouth shut about it.

    Now, if a person is exhibiting some kind of destructive behavior, then yes he/she needs some blunt honesty. Otherwise, it is good to just let things slide that can been looked at as personal tastes or style.


    Promote yourself and earn more money! This is a business that is owned by strippers for strippers. Let's make that money!


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    Default Re: is honesty really the best policy??

    Quote Originally Posted by Flick6 View Post
    If you are hurting people then I dont think its a good thing. But my best friends are the ones that are honest to a fault. Even though sometimes I walk away stinging from something they have said, I know they love me as I am so I can accept anything they have to say. If its coming from a stranger then I more often think they are just making themselves feel important by being tough or something. But perhaps if I knew them it might be different.

    You are how you are, if you cant change it then you might as well love it.


    Agreed. There's a way to be honest without deliberately hurting someone.


    I just got out of a verbally abusive friendship where the guy would say horrible things to me, ruined my self-esteem for months, and would keep saying "It's the truth! It's the truth! Can't you handle the truth? It's your fault if you can't handle it!" In the end, I realized that his "truthful statements" were just a way to put me down and to manipulate me. I don't want to deal with that again nor do I want to put anyone through that, so I'm going to have to strongly disagree with being honest to the point where you hurt someone's feelings. The "I'm just being honest" seems like an excuse to get away with what you're saying, IMHO.

    There are so many different ways to tell the truth.....

  17. #42
    God/dess VegasPrincess's Avatar
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    Default Re: is honesty really the best policy??

    I think honesty is the way to go although people aren't used to getting it. And also context as to WHY the honest:

    For instance, if I am at home and you come over before we go out and my outfit looks horrible, Please Tell Me! So I can change it. If we're allready out and I look horrible, mentioning it will not help and just make me feel bad, so don't mention it. LOL.

    Or if you are being honest to aleviate your own guilt. For instance, lets say you did something you know I would be hurt to find out, but that I would be better off not knowing...but you tell me to aleviate your own guilty consience...that's just selfish.

    Honesty is always best again mixed with compassion. Like, "To be totally honest, you have gained some weight lately. I know it bothers you. Maybe we can sit down and make a plan to eat better/work out and figure out what's going on!"

    Stuff like that. People do need to hear the truth though! Otherwise they can go around fucking up everything and being in denial because everybody kisses their ass and tells them its fine.
    Sexy Jasmine after getting fucked over at work:

    God loves strippers and when guys do things like that its an automatic ticket to HELL!


    Quote Originally Posted by anomar View Post
    Perhaps you stopped spending money on her. Strippers need money to operate. They are like coin operated juke-boxes of love.

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    Default Re: is honesty really the best policy??

    Quote Originally Posted by VegasPrincess View Post

    Honesty is always best again mixed with compassion. Like, "To be totally honest, you have gained some weight lately. I know it bothers you. Maybe we can sit down and make a plan to eat better/work out and figure out what's going on!"


    This is a perfect example of being honest YET being considerate of the person's feelings..

    But, if you say something like, "You've become such a disgusting pig...No wonder you don't get as many guys hitting on you anymore. I'm just behing honest here and you have to deal with it," I wouldn't want to hang around someone like that. That just tells me that the person saying these "honest comments" have some insecurity issues themselves or ulterior motives.

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    Veteran Member renaissance's Avatar
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    Default Re: is honesty really the best policy??

    Quote Originally Posted by Paris View Post
    When someone asks your opinion, it is best to ask him/her some probing questions before answering to prevent accidentally hurting their feelings. Ask things like:

    "Why do you ask?"
    "What made you think of that?"
    "Is this new or have you been thinking about it for a while?"
    "I really don't know much about that. What are your feelings?"
    Love this

    To me, honesty is something that's earned with me. To my good friends I'll be honest if that's what I think you want and/or need depending on the situation. With most people I'm usually nice to them all the time. But I also won't LIE, I just don't say anything...
    Conducting myself in a terribly sexy fashion on and

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    Default Re: is honesty really the best policy??

    Quote Originally Posted by i.breathe.in View Post
    im always very honest up front and real with people. i dont sugar coat anything, dont say things about other people i wouldnt say to them, and all other things along those lines.

    everytime i try to do the right thing and be honest and tell people how i feel about things it always backfires.

    people say they want honesty but i swear to god anytime i give it out i get shit on.

    please give me your honest opinions (srsly)
    I so know how you feel and am going through it right now, it sucks ass but I don't think I can not tell the truth!
    "The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy."

  21. #46
    Banned All Good Things's Avatar
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    Default Re: is honesty really the best policy??

    Even when adults think they are being brutally honest, they usually have a way to go to reach the pinnacle of true honesty.

    If you want real honesty, you can't beat a 7-year-old. They are the Gold Standard of Honesty.

    So I'm with the Angel of the Century at the final day of summer camp. About 300 adorable kids have just put on a wonderful stage show. When it ends, the kids and their parents begin to slowly file out the front door.

    So we're at the front door, saying goodbye to everybody as they walk out, and I'm holding my daughter up in my arms high so she can see over the crowd.

    When the front entryway has filled to oh, about 150 people, my daughter suddenly announces to the crowd, in a loud voice, "They took my daddy's license away, so he has to call his driver."

    Thank you, sweetie.

    From her viewpoint this announcement makes perfect sense. We are standing still talking to everybody while all her friends are headed toward the parking lot. We are not. She feels an explanation is in order.

    Ten minutes later, she is sitting with me in the car, sifting through her backpack looking for something to eat. She starts pulling things out and announcing them one by one. Remember, she is seven years old. "Here are some underwear. And some yogurt. That's it." She puts them back into the backpack, zips it up, and sits there quietly for a moment. Then she says softly, "Well, that was embarrassing."
    Last edited by All Good Things; 08-10-2008 at 12:49 PM.

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