How do y'all do it? FOr the most part, i'm pretty laid back, and easy to get along with. I'm good at shrugging past little annoyances, I dont' get passive agressive or catty very often(that i'm aware of)
Lately, i've been REALLY irritable, and getting my feelings hurt about stupid things. Case in point.
1. A photographer i've worked with for probably two years approaches me with another concept. We test some ideas for it, but don't get finished results, due to needing to fine tune some props/backdrops. I check his port a while after, and discover that literally the night after testing the concept with ME, he brings another model in, shoots it, and uses the shot with her in his portfolio and some minor ego competitions. He describes it as "their concept" to other photographers(one of whom, who told me this, I'm shooting with tomorrow-he had no idea that I had had so much input into it! He honestly thought SHE had been the one refining it and creating it)
2. Another annoyance with the same photographer from 1. We've shot for two years, I recommend him highly and use several shots of his in his stuff. In the past few months he's started making little comments about my "weird poses", because I pose from DANCE, not from glamour. And for all of the time I've put in to working with him on HIS ideas, how many shots of me does he proudly show? None. He'll reocmmend me to friends for their projects, when they are mentioning looking for models, but he actually doesnt value any of our work enough to display it. Urck.
3. And this one is REALLY stupid. I recently added an image of myself in a very difficult and unusual pose to my book. One of the communities has a function where you can compile "lists" of your favorite images and name them. I just discovered some asshat included it on a list marked "photographers with a unique eye". WTF? I adore the photographer all to hell, am in love with the poor unfortunate bastard as a matter of fact, but he had NOTHING to do with the pose. How is MY creativity HIM "having a unique eye" I feel stupid being offended at that, since its someone I don't even know, and i don't begrudge the photographer the attention. It just rankles, being treated like an idiot, on top of all of the other things.
4. A model friend of mine recently visited. She did a shoot with the photographer from 3. and I, for a project him and i had been working with on a while(at least HE gives me proper credit and appreciates me, not like #1.) Anyways, I forwarded her the images, and she didn't even bother replying to say "thank you" let alone "those turned out better than i thought, though that shoot really pushed me outside my posing style" or something that acknowledges the time we put into them. WTF? there's other stuff about this situation, and her bitchiness posted here, but that one was the clincher that said "wait. WHY do i call you a friend?" Didn't mamma teach you any manners? Or am i just old fashioned.
5. Feeling like i'm putting WAY too much time into trying to maintain friendships. I can't count hte amount of people I've tried calling, or emailing, who don't even bother responding with a "sorry i'm busy". I HATE being the one to constantly be trying to arrange things. If you honestly value my friendship, why don't you write me more often to see if i want to go out for coffee, instead of toying with the idea with me for WEEKS before you FINALLY find a space in your work schedule for it.
Maybe its just my antisocial tendencies coming through strongly, more htan usual, but I really am wanting to withdraw/isolate myself from EVERYONE. Cut ties from everyone i haven't already worked with, stop contacting ANY friends, or trying to genuinely improve myself. Unfortunately, if i did do that, I have a feeling there's only one person who would survive the cut(the photographer from #3)
How do you guys develop a thicker skin for stupid stuff like this? How do you preserve your sanity among so many flakes and having your contributions shrugged aside? Once you KNOW something is stupid to be hurt about, in your head, how do you actually stop FEELING it?




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This show is a nightmare and I'm still stuck in Seattle. I thought I would be getting back to Portland so much more than I actually am. I do miss you and would love to catch up once I'm not getting flogged.

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