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Thread: Anyone conquered their fear of the ocean?

  1. #1
    Senior Member dollparts's Avatar
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    Default Anyone conquered their fear of the ocean?

    So i had a traumatizing (for me) experience swimming in the ocean. I got rolled by a really big wave, shoved to the bottom of the ocean floor and when i was almost able to breath again another wave hit me and shoved me down all the way again.

    Since then i have been extremely afraid of getting in the ocean water past my hips. I've only done it once since that happened. The day i did manage to get in the water and swim was a day when the ocean only had tiny waves, like really tiny and i had a private instructor type guy.

    I thought i conquered my fear, but i didn't. I still get that nervous, anxious feeling every time i try to go in. I really fear that i'm going to drown. I really want to get over this fear because it keeps me from the ocean and it causes problems with my SO. He doesn't understand why i'm so scared and can be a little insensitive about it, and we usually end up in a fight over it. Really sucks.

    So i'd really like to know if there is anything i can do or anyone that has been in a similar situation that maybe could offer some advice? Please?
    Last edited by dollparts; 08-17-2008 at 06:01 PM. Reason: spelling!

  2. #2
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: Anyone concurred their fear of the ocean?

    Why is he fighting with you because you don't want to go in the ocean? What on earth is his problem with that? You don't want to go in, fine, he can go in without you if he wants. I can't think of any reason he would want to fight about it.

    I don't like to go into the ocean either. I don't mind sitting on the sand and looking at it, or wading in it and looking for seashells, but I'm not a strong swimmer and I've been through the exact same thing you described. I don't like getting all sticky-salty or winding up with sand and seaweed in my crotch. So I stay out of the ocean and everybody's happy. It's not like people belong in the ocean anyway.

  3. #3
    God/dess CKXXX's Avatar
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    Default Re: Anyone concurred their fear of the ocean?

    I was caught in a riptide in high school out in long Beach Island...sucked. Almost drowned and it took 4 big guys to pull me out. But still love the water and want to get my scuba certification. Everything has its dangers...driving, dancing..hell walking has its dangers! Just realize that the good stuff overrides the bad. I feel peaceful and calm when I'm in the water. Though I'm not a fan of the edge...crushed shells, seaweed..yuck. but out in the clear blue...yeah. Its a whole other world in the water and I can leave the stresses of the other world behind.

    But if you dont want to...he shouldnt fight with you over it..thats stupid. Pressuring you isnt going to magically make your fear go away.

    Once you want to go in(if you ever do)...go slowly and on YOUR terms...

    Quote Originally Posted by lexilou View Post
    "I'll picklepunch you in your twatwaffle!"

  4. #4
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: Anyone concurred their fear of the ocean?

    Please don't have kids with this guy, at least not until he grows up and learns some empathy. He's going to be one of those dads that pushes his kids until they feel like shit all the time and resent him.

  5. #5
    God/dess Chrissy68's Avatar
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    Default Re: Anyone concurred their fear of the ocean?

    I didn't read your OP, but, I think you mean conquered.
    Concurred meaning.

    just so you know. (the more you know... ) not meaning to piss you off, just wanting to correct you without getting my head bitten off. *backs away slowly*

    Love it!

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Anyone conquered their fear of the ocean?

    I do not like swimming in the ocean either.

    Just yesterday I was walking around in the shallow waters looking for seashells. I reached down to grab up a bunch of shells and what do I pick up but a HUGE BROKEN PIECE OF CLEAR GLASS!!!

    I was pretty pissed and got the hell out.

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Anyone conquered their fear of the ocean?

    You can all laugh at me now. I hate the ocean, hate water (darn near drowned once because the idiot swim teacher I had back in the day would THROW people into the deep pool and let them get out on their own...YEAH...she ended up fishing me out like 2 times and that was the end of THAT, thanks very much!) So...I will go bungee jumping, sky diving...but can't jump into the deep end of a swimming pool, or even go in over 4 feet or so, without freaking out.

    AND...I live in Florida.

    *sigh*

  8. #8
    Featured Member kandie_kitten's Avatar
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    Default Re: Anyone conquered their fear of the ocean?

    I'm sorry if I'm pushing this, but it sounds like maybe instead of learning to conquer your fear of the ocean, you may just need a new boyfriend.

    He sounds like a real jerk, being completely unreasonable, pushy, and insensitive.

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Anyone conquered their fear of the ocean?

    No I didn't get cut, but it easily could have happened had I stepped on it!!!

    And yeah bf needs to chill.

  10. #10
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    Default Re: Anyone conquered their fear of the ocean?

    as someone who was raised at the beach (and having a brother who was a lifeguard) i would say that your fear is completely normal. in fact, there's a lot of 'fearless' (but more stupid) who aren't strong swimmers and don't have a lot of knowledge about the ocean but still go swimming when there are rip currents and big waves. if you aren't comfortable, don't go swimming. your boyfriend should be concerned more about your safety than fear. my brother used to force to go when there were large waves, but he was extremely experienced in the water and knew what i could handle. also, i'm not sure where you're going to the beach in socal, but if you're going to the more southern beaches (huntington or newport) i wouldn't use a raft or mat made for the pool, because the waves can get really large and this creates dangerous situations if you're inexperienced in the ocean.

    a body board is a good idea, to just stay in the white-wash to get more comfortable. but i wouldn't go out too far, unless you're a strong swimmer.

  11. #11
    Veteran Member MichelleJade's Avatar
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    Default Re: Anyone conquered their fear of the ocean?

    Yeah, I've had a few bad experiences in the ocean.
    I always bring a friend with me who I know will save me if I start to lose control. Or if I go alone, I make sure I'm situated near a big group of people who can save me. I always check the surf reports to make sure the waves are small, and I never go during shark/man-or-war, jellyfish/seaweed season.

    Another tip - don't go near fishermen. At the beach I go to people can fish anywhere, and not only are hooks dangerous, but also sometimes they throw gross bloody stuff in the water to get the fish biting, but this also attracts sharks.

    I love going into the ocean just because it is a risk. Minimizing the risks make it fun and not tramatic though.

    One more thing - sometimes it's a fear of wide open spaces moreso than the ocean. Humans are prone to be afraid of open areas like the ocean because it's harder to get away from predators. Thank you, cavemen.

    Oh yeah, this is about drowning! The first thing I thought of was those swimmy things for little toddlers, heh. Exposure therapy - force yourself to go farther into the water everytime you're at the ocean. Change your perspective - think about your bad experience at the beach from a different lens. Think about how rarely that actually happens, instead of filling with fear think about how you did survive and that you handled the situation well. I don't know...
    Last edited by MichelleJade; 08-17-2008 at 11:03 PM. Reason: busy thinking about the sharkys
    There's only so much you can learn in one place...
    The longer you wait, the more time that you waste.

  12. #12
    Featured Member Perry's Avatar
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    Default Re: Anyone concurred their fear of the ocean?

    I'm sorry, but your boyfriend sounds like a jerk. My guy is terrified of spiders, and I love them, but I would never, ever even consider getting upset with him about it. Even under extrodinary circumstances, I would respect his feelings.

    If you really want to get over this fear, he needs to be supportive and understanding. And if he doesn't have those traits, well, then sea is full of other things...















    More fish!

  13. #13
    Moderator Djoser's Avatar
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    Default Re: Anyone conquered their fear of the ocean?

    Well the ocean can kill you pretty easily, so it's smart to have a healthy respect, that's for sure, and be very afraid indeed of certain dangers.

    But then there is the Ocean, which is what we all came from, and I suppose if the molecules are released properly, what we all return to. Not something to be feared so much, something to play in and let embrace you. It's like sharing Life, sometimes swimming or to a lesser extent kayaking.

    No one ever had fun playing because someone was pressuring them, though. Relax and take it at your own pace.

    The worst I ever saw the ocean was when I was totally relaxed and happy, but very tired after riding a pretty strong surf for over an hour.

    The waves were big just the edge of the surf, but the bottom of the kayak hit sand, so I relaxed and was going to get out when a freak jacked-up 'shore break' wave picked me and the kayak up and flipped us over, right on my head--with the all the water in the thing after the last few rides total weight over 250 pounds. I thought I was Christopher Reeves right there for a minute, but all I got was a pinched nerve for a few months.

    Now, ever since than, I am a total coward and pussy about going out when the waves look mean.

    The closest I came to drowning was when these fucking lifeguards were trying to save me, ironically enough.

    I was trying to empty the water out of the kayak, having failed miserably with the 'Eskimo Roll' with these big waves making it hard to stand on my toes on the bottom to do it. It was very hard to pull off, but still easier than going all the way back in to the beach towing, then having to get back out past the shore break again to catch rides.

    They thought I was drowning.

    So I finally gave up emptying the thing and was worn out swimming slowly back in and towing the kayak which when full weighs a few hundred pounds, and holding the paddle with one hand so as not to lose it on the beach somewhere.

    All of a sudden I see these guys in the water near me swimming up yelling "Take the bouy!"

    I started yelling 'I'm fine no problem relax', etc., then we are arguing a bit about wearing lifejackets or not when this giant wave I didn't see because they were annoying smacked me in the back, knocked the boat and the paddle away, and I swallowed/choked on a big mouthful of water. I thought then I really could drown.

    But then the lifeguards started yelling louder and swimming harder for me and it pissed me off, though I have to laugh now, I could have drowned trying to tell lifeguards to leave me the fuck alone.

    Whoops sorry to go on but I'd say do your thing, if you want to go to the ocean to lay on the beach...go lay on the beach, tell your boyfriend to take a swim if he wants and chill out.
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
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