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Thread: "Class Consciousness"

  1. #1
    Bianca O'Blivion
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    Sad "Class Consciousness"

    Long story short, in a two years I have gone from dead broke and struggling to living well with a bright future and will soon be getting a nice vehicle (I lucked into a deal for a luxury vehicle.)

    But something's been bothering me. I've noticed people look at me differently when I'm dressed well and stepping out of nice new vehicles (the last three rental vehicles I had on trips were new models.) Great, right? It's my problem in my head....I feel upset inside knowing they'd never look twice if I looked like I used to (thift shop clothes, junker car, NO money for manicures, expensive perfume or great hair.)

    It's stupid for me to keep thinking this way- I don't want to sabotage myself by acting ill at ease around people. I don't need to be scowling when a smile will take me farther. I need to beat the remaining "failure mentality" I have.

    Have you beat this kind of issue? How did you act like you "belonged" in a place that you thought you'd never get to...?

    I'm open to any suggestions.

  2. #2
    Banned i.breathe.in's Avatar
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    Default Re: "Class Consciousness"

    i am heavily tattooed i deal with this on a daily basis.

    in the winter when i have a jacket and long sleeves on people treat me totally different.

    sadly i dont beat it, it bothers me often.

  3. #3
    God/dess Lena's Avatar
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    Default Re: "Class Consciousness"

    Quote Originally Posted by Bianca O'Blivion View Post
    Have you beat this kind of issue? How did you act like you "belonged" in a place that you thought you'd never get to...?
    I found out that place sucked.

    I moved into a van, I flaunt my thrift store clothes, and I put my money into things that matter.



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    God/dess Nautilus's Avatar
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    Default Re: "Class Consciousness"

    It is all in your head... maybe your head wasn't held high and looking around when you were rocking hobo chic?

    Just jingle those keys and skip off to your next appointment.... to blazes with the masses.

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    Default Re: "Class Consciousness"

    Quote Originally Posted by Bianca O'Blivion View Post
    Long story short, in a two years I have gone from dead broke and struggling to living well with a bright future and will soon be getting a nice vehicle (I lucked into a deal for a luxury vehicle.)

    But something's been bothering me. I've noticed people look at me differently when I'm dressed well and stepping out of nice new vehicles (the last three rental vehicles I had on trips were new models.) Great, right? It's my problem in my head....I feel upset inside knowing they'd never look twice if I looked like I used to (thift shop clothes, junker car, NO money for manicures, expensive perfume or great hair.)

    It's stupid for me to keep thinking this way- I don't want to sabotage myself by acting ill at ease around people. I don't need to be scowling when a smile will take me farther. I need to beat the remaining "failure mentality" I have.

    Have you beat this kind of issue? How did you act like you "belonged" in a place that you thought you'd never get to...?

    I'm open to any suggestions.
    It sounds like you might be uncomfortable with your own success.

    Open yourself to seeing your success in a positive way. Brian Tracy talks about this in the Psychology of Selling, how once you exit your pre-conceived ideas of who you by succeeding/failing, you become uncomfortable with the change from your perceived Self.

    So... embrace how far you've come in terms of personal development. You are a winner and people see that every day.

    You might also want to read a book on body language (Superflirt is always great) in order to understand and amplify the immaterial things about yourself that shout 'success', so that you know that if you are wearing rags or designer wear, either way you're carrying yourself well.

    Only after you feel like you deserve to be wearing fine clothes and not that you stumbled into it (like you say w/ your luxury car) will you be able to embrace the Good Life that you've worked for.

  6. #6
    God/dess fancygirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: "Class Consciousness"

    Personally, as long as you stay grounded, I don't see a problem here-- except that you're uneasy, like you're not worth other people's time unless you're dressed nicely. That is just a confidence issue which you only hide when you were dressed like crud because then you were able to be less visible.

    Get to the root of why this is bothering you. It's not how other people view you that's bothering you-- it's how you view yourself and your new higher visibility.

  7. #7
    God/dess Bunny's Avatar
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    Default Re: "Class Consciousness"

    Fake it 'til you make it and eventually you'll see yourself however you want to be seen.

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    Default Re: "Class Consciousness"

    I just stop going or never go to places where I feel like that. I'd rather feel happy in a place I feel totally accepted than in a place where I people feel luke warm about me because of some sort of unspoken class issue.
    you live like an ivy vine
    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
    that's your flaw
    put down some roots so you can stand on your own
    -Kenpachi



  9. #9
    Bianca O'Blivion
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    Default Re: "Class Consciousness"

    Here's an example of what I'm talking about- I went to a nice restaurant on Hollywood Boulevard and sat down. I was dazzled by the ornate decor and luxurious bar. I could tell this was a place that very powerful and influential people came to drink and discuss whatever deals they had on the table. I felt tiny.

    The waiter approached me and I blurted out, "I'm not from here!" He was a sweet gay guy and he said, "Oh, honey, none of us are."

    But yeah, that momentary feeling of being out of place and not "enough."

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    God/dess Nautilus's Avatar
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    Default Re: "Class Consciousness"

    what will you need to be, do, have before you are from there?

  11. #11
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    Default Re: "Class Consciousness"

    I'd take feeling richer than other people than poorer than others any day. Always looking crappy and having to tear people a new one when they treat you like shit because your not wearing really nice things or driving really nice cars or having your face and hair done all the time gets me up tight. At least when you're appearing too rich you get back at people who treat you differently by being nice.

  12. #12
    God/dess Sophia_Starina's Avatar
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    Default Re: "Class Consciousness"

    I have a massive inferiority complex and tremendously low self esteem. I struggle with feeling unworthy on a daily basis. Especially when I'm in a wealthier area. I feel as though everyone knows I don't belong there... like they know I'm not one of them.

    The word I use most often is "sorry" I probably say it 100 times a day. If I go to a fancy store, I have a full blown panic attack. I actually dislike restaurants with good, attentive service..... I feel like I'm not good enough to be waited on. Like I'm "beneath" everyone.

    When it comes to work, I avoid wealthy looking customers, guys in suits, etc. It's ass backwards... the complete opposite of what I'm supposed to be doing. But I feel like I'm not good enough for them and that they'll be offended if I ask them for a dance.

    Yeah, I know... it's a little crazy....
    Quote Originally Posted by Jay12 View Post
    ^What Sophia said.
    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post
    I wish there was an "auto-like" setting that I could just have applied to all of your posts Sophia....

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    Default Re: "Class Consciousness"

    Quote Originally Posted by Bianca O'Blivion View Post
    The waiter approached me and I blurted out, "I'm not from here!" He was a sweet gay guy and he said, "Oh, honey, none of us are."
    Wow, this made me laugh and cry at the same time. I have been there and sadly sometimes I still am. I have to constantly tell myself that I'm good enough. I deserve to be here.

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    Default Re: "Class Consciousness"

    Quote Originally Posted by Sophia_Starina View Post
    I have a massive inferiority complex and tremendously low self esteem. I struggle with feeling unworthy on a daily basis. Especially when I'm in a wealthier area. I feel as though everyone knows I don't belong there... like they know I'm not one of them.

    The word I use most often is "sorry" I probably say it 100 times a day. If I go to a fancy store, I have a full blown panic attack. I actually dislike restaurants with good, attentive service..... I feel like I'm not good enough to be waited on. Like I'm "beneath" everyone.

    When it comes to work, I avoid wealthy looking customers, guys in suits, etc. It's ass backwards... the complete opposite of what I'm supposed to be doing. But I feel like I'm not good enough for them and that they'll be offended if I ask them for a dance.

    Yeah, I know... it's a little crazy....
    Great great post! I've felt exactly like this, especially recently. If its a little crazy then I think we're all a bit crazy since everyone feels this way at least some of the time.

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