Im not angry at anybody but rather a situation.
I recently got cast in the lead role for this theater group. yipee. But the problem is that i need a freelance work permit to do this. When I went to the place that issues work permits and stuff they told me that this is going to be very hard to be approved, furthermore it will take 4 to 6 weeks to find out whether or not it will be. The director wants me to sign the acting contract and send it back to her. I dont know whether or not i can. If I apply to be an employee it will be approved. But the director prolly wants it to be freelance. I could try to persuade her. If I cant do the show she wants to find another actress on the 31 of this month. Fuck. I dont know what to do. I really want this because this is what I want to do for a living. But also if this doesnt get approved or work of it feels like its another thing on a list of things which make this not the ideal country to live in. This is depressing. I hate the all the bullshit of having to be approved for every freaking job that I want to do just because Im not a citizen. Yes I know I chose to move here. Its not fair I get to be with my bf who I love but so many other things suck. I feel like I am slowly breaking down to a point where I can't figure whats more important. Living with him here or living in a place far from him with a career I can have. I'm so torn. I don't know if these things adding up are signs to leave or signs to fight harder. I can only do so much effort. It feels ridiculous having my career ability controlled by some people approving jobs for foreigners by regulations I dont know much of. And why does it have to be so difficult. My job isnt taking away from a German because they want native English speaker. And It feel stupid that somebody else who approves permits gets to decide whether or not somebody they don't even know should or should get this permit. Can't I have anything I want? Its such a joke to be get a lead role in a paying theater job in a place where its not as popular just to have it taken away. So not fair.![]()





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