I'm facing a decision that will effect the rest of my life. This is long and I apologize for that, but a background is necessary. An early thanks goes out to anyone who takes the time to read this..
I've been with my bf for over three and a half years. This guy is amazing and fits everything I have ever wanted in a long-term partner and more. I have never had a guy that has treated me better, nor a guy that I have loved more. I come with many flaws that he has been extremely patient with. He's made me a better person and we've built a life together. I was hoping the next step was marriage, as he is my ideal. There's just one thing.
Our relationship is happy, smooth sailing, loving. However, when we get into an extremely heated argument (which usually happens twice a year, I'd say), instead of just dealing with the matter at hand, he blows it up into a "I don't think this is working," kind of thing. Then he'll give the same reasons; "we have different living styles," and "I feel like we don't see eye to eye on a lot of issues." I do not feel the same, and believe that differences are OK and healthy in a relationship. As for the living styles thing, does it really matter that much if I don't snap down the top to the baby wipes?!!? (petty shit like that is what he means about "different living styles").
Anyhow, so he basically brings the relationship to the break-up point every time a huge argument takes place. This absolutely crushes me and I am reduced to a sobbing mess and then over a day or two will proceed to point out all the things that I think is good about our relationship. Then he'll calm down and then all is well again...until the next huge argument, then it happens again.
He once told me that he brings me to the "break-up zone" because he gets so frustrated with me and feels like I don't listen. Sometimes he feels taking me to that place is the only way to get me to listen. He also says he gets so frustrated that at that moment he really feels like he doesn't want to be in a relationship with me.
So it happened again last weekend and even though all has settled now, I find myself snapping at him and feeling resentment. I feel like when he brings me to the Break-Up Zone, he takes me and all that we have for granted.
The thing is, this is the ONLY bad thing about our relationship. Everything else is so awesome. I honestly don't want to picture my life without him in it. He is so good to me (aside from this issue), and I've dated other guys out there and know how most of them are. I got myself a good one here and he has been through a lot for me. So what would you do? Accept this and try to work through it? I don't want to leave him and throw away everything that is good but it is getting to the point where I feel kind of screwed up about it.
*I put this in The Lounge because any insight from the male mind is also welcome too.



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