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Thread: High Contact

  1. #26
    Veteran Member Lady's Avatar
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    Default Re: High Contact

    I completly agree with Lucy in the Sky. NEVER over step your bounderies. You have your own comfort zone whether that be no contact at all at a bikini bar or full nude full contact. That is a personal decision and you should not let money or anybody influence that decision.
    Looks like you burned your bridge at the other club. I suggest you work at paper moon and just tell them, sorry I dont let custies touch, untill you get the moeny for a car so you can travel. Your other option is move. probably after a few months you will be able to go back to your home club anyway. In the meantime, just tell the customers to behave themselves. I dont do two way contact either. i can touch them and it dont bother me, but I dont want them touching me at all. So if they do a little like touch, not grab, my legs I can tolerate it but I just go into a standing position. You could try the dominatrix thing and tie all the customers up. I did that at a club I worked at once cuz I didnt want them touching me. SOme custies will really like it and you may very well find yourself to be very competitive.

  2. #27
    God/dess Golden_Rule's Avatar
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    Default Re: High Contact

    I'm posting this because I do manage the floor in very large private parties with dancers who, though they can set whatever limits they want, work in an environment where many of the dancers are doing extremely high contact - including extras. This can place a large degree of stress on other dancers, in competition on the same floor for the same money, to perform likewise.

    I am posting this because I have seen your situation happen so many times that I feel I have to comment because I haven't seen anyone else say this in precisely this way in the thread so far.

    DK, if I read your personality type right from your posts [and I could be wrong because it is so little to work off from] the answer to your question is: You don't.

    You don't find a way to get use to it. You either get nicked mentally and run early or you start doing things to turn off the bad feelings and that is worse.

    There is NOTHING wrong with high contact stripping. There is even nothing wrong with doing extras between consenting adults. The fact that this is true doesn't mean everyone ought to be doing it.

    Many people, because of either their natural feelings on things or the way they were taught to be [usually some combination of both] have developed a natural inclination to think being involved in these things are VERY bad. If you are someone who feels that way you aren't going to change a fundamental fact about yourself by working your way into it. You'll just wind up doing yourself grievous injury.

    I've seen it too many times. I can't tell you the number of women I've seen who, after having watched their reactions to the work, I gently suggest this might not be for them and they should dance elsewhere. I even use my knowledge of local clubs and their managers to try and hook them up in places more suitable to their comfort levels.

    What I would suggest for you is to go back and apologize to your former bosses and try to get your old job back. If that won't work because you have truly mucked it up there than travel, at least for awhile, to an area with clubs you are more comfortable with. Work, get your good reputation back, and then go back again to your former bosses with your new rep and ask for another chance.

    Certainly also start looking in other areas to either supplement your income or totally change career paths. Perhaps go back to school [if you aren't in college or a trade school already].

    Stripping, for most folks, is a short term solution to immediate cash needs anyway. I always suggest dancers should have a definitive plan BEFORE they start stripping. Have set limits you decide on BEFORE you start dancing [because the opportunity for them to move after you start is SO hard to avoid... the money is just too damn tempting for most]. Decide your goal, what you are willing to do to get it, do it and then get out is my motto [for floor managers too ]

    I wish you well with this and I hope it all works out for you.
    Last edited by Golden_Rule; 10-16-2008 at 08:14 PM.
    Fiat justitia, pereat mundus.


    BTW, while we are on the subject, is it needed to point out the obvious: That it is just possible that if you are willing to judge the worth of someone simply by what you read on a website about them it might say a whole hell of a lot more about you than it says about the person you are judging?

  3. #28
    Member carmenlove's Avatar
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    Default Re: High Contact

    great advice ^^
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    "What allows a diamond to shine so brightly is the multitude of cuts that have been made on it"


    What's somebody like you doing in a place like this?

  4. #29
    Featured Member Perry's Avatar
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    Default Re: High Contact

    For the first time ever, I approve of a blue ribbon's post in SG. And I agree with GR.

    Excuse me while I put on my mittens. I think hell may have just frozen over.

  5. #30
    Veteran Member davka's Avatar
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    Default Re: High Contact

    i have found that i don't mind my legs being touched much. with the breasts, I would suggest that you could just move their hands away sexily and say you are sore today (do it everyday) and the guys usually go for that if they think they are helping you feel good. i tell guys at high contact places that they can grab my boobs but i don't want them doing any fancy finger work with my nipples or anything.

    i am beginning to regret the high contact i have allowed with my breasts, because when my lover touches them now i feel a strange sensation in my belly, like anxiety. i don't like this so i haven't been allowing touch there anymore. i say i am sore and i act confident and i seem to still make good money where i go.

    i met some girls this summer who created such amazing elaborate lap dance moves because they didn't allow touch and they were so pretty and flexible and nice that they still made bank, even though all the girls around them were allowing touching. i want to learn their moves.
    Originally Posted by ViolaStrings
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  6. #31
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    Default Re: High Contact

    I feel your pain girl! If possible, just find a club thats more in your comfort zone or just a regular job. Your dignity is worth more than all the money in the world, trust me!

    Been in your situation. Glad I got out : ).

  7. #32
    Veteran Member Oksana23's Avatar
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    Default Re: High Contact

    Start by asking each custie during your hustle, "so, are you from Sarasota?", if they are, ask them if it's there 1st time coming to the club, or if they have been in before. If they have been in before, say "right on! so who did you have dance for you last time?" if it was a high contact dancer, just say "oh yeah, she's really hot, I think she's working tonight..." and move on, he is going to expect the same level of contact he got the last time he was in, or higher. If he didn't have a dance last time, or it is his 1st time, ask him, "so, when was the last time you had a lapdance?", than ask him which club it was at. If he says anything like "well to be honest, the last time I had a lapdance was 3 years ago, in las vegas while I was on vacation...I guess I work too much...blah blah blah" he is a good mark!

    If he is from out of town, ask him for a dance, then when you sit him down, explain "so, I remember you are from out of town so I'll just tell you the rules really quick before we get started, well actually there's only one, you can touch me, but only non-sexual areas.(not your ass, tits or pussy). Kind of like assuming the sale, assume his compliance. If he asks why or seem dissapointed, just say, "I wish we could baby...but I think that would be too exciting...for both of us! *giggle* at this point start the dance immediately before he can ask more questions or see what other dancers are allowing.

    So to sum it up, being a low contact dancer dancing in a higher contact club means you will basically just have to screen each custie before offering to dance for him, and luckily, since nationwide no and low contact clubs are more the norm, it is not too hard to keep your dances low contact as long as you are not dancing for locals who are expecting more. And on the bright side, lets face it, out of towners usually spend more anyways!
    Last edited by Oksana23; 10-20-2008 at 04:04 PM.
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  8. #33
    Featured Member Miss_Luscious's Avatar
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    Default Re: High Contact

    I have been in your position before and I just kept working even though I was really uncomfortable with the level of contact. As a result, I went home every night wanting to cry (and sometimes actually crying) because I felt so dirty and ashamed. It wasn't even a huge amount of contact, it was just more than I am personally comfortable with. It kinda messed up my sex life with my husband and I couldn't feel as good about him touching me if I had been touched like that earlier in the night by a custie. In the end I had small panic attacks before I went to work and I would cry because I didn't want to go. Anyone who knows me knows that I don't cry. I'm not very emotional and it takes a lot for me to cry but there I was crying before and after work. I hated stripping by the time I retired this summer and I had really bad feelings about it for a while. The bad experience I had with going out of my comfort zone made me feel bad about my entire 6 1/2 stripping career.

    Now that I've had time to reflect, I don't hate stripping but I hate what I made myself do. Don't force yourself to do anything you don't want to do because in the end you will feel like shit. Try to get back into your old club and if that doesn't work, stay where you are but stay within your comfort zone.
    "A stupid man's report of what a clever man says is never accurate because he unconsciously translates what he hears into something he can understand." - Bertrand Russell

    "It's just a matter of people having low self esteem and being way too easily offended." -Random Guy on a Internet Forum

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    Ya'll bitches need to calm down. Cerously.
    In other words: Boo-motherfucking-hoo

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  10. #34
    Veteran Member BostonGia's Avatar
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    Default Re: High Contact

    I work at the Cheetah right now and money is ok but I know they would be happy to have more girls ....I dont know the house mom very well but I am jut shocked at what you had to say .....also she is not there every night so you could just work around her ....I dunno ....Steve and Mario are softies so ....just try ....if you dont tip out IT IS the house moms job to tell why she doesn't have all the money ....I mean what would you do if you were her ? Pay for it out of your own pocket ??? Not defending her personally just saying it is her job to collect tip out so ......it might not even be what you think !!
    In Atlanta looking for a new place/club to call my own ... be back in Sarasota from time to time because I love the Cheetah xoxo

  11. #35
    Featured Member Otoki's Avatar
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    Default Re: High Contact

    Quote Originally Posted by snow white View Post
    Is touching required? If not, you could enforce a no touching rule during your dances and explain your rules before the dance. If touching is suppossed to be unlawful, but its the norm at the club (like at my club) I'd just tell the customer to behave themselves and if they ask why a simple "You'll get me in trouble, silly" should suffice. I can't work 2way high contact...which is why I don't let them touch me.
    Pretty much.

    I went from working at a friction club to a semi-air dance club. I worked at the old club during day shift because I couldn't work late nights thanks to school. I did air dances and guess what? I rarely lost business for not grinding on customers. I've never done well with customers who want the most bang for their buck, so those were the ones I would lose.

    Either set your own rules, or buy a junker so you can work somewhere else. FORCING yourself to get used to touching is, in my opinion, self-destructive, and might lead to you needing therapy later on. If you're not comfortable with something, know your limits, and stick to them.

  12. #36
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    Default Re: High Contact

    Mediocrity, what club do you work at in Vegas, sounds like a good place...?

  13. #37
    Featured Member Otoki's Avatar
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    Default Re: High Contact

    Quote Originally Posted by Miss_Luscious View Post
    I have been in your position before and I just kept working even though I was really uncomfortable with the level of contact. As a result, I went home every night wanting to cry (and sometimes actually crying) because I felt so dirty and ashamed. It wasn't even a huge amount of contact, it was just more than I am personally comfortable with. It kinda messed up my sex life with my husband and I couldn't feel as good about him touching me if I had been touched like that earlier in the night by a custie. In the end I had small panic attacks before I went to work and I would cry because I didn't want to go. Anyone who knows me knows that I don't cry. I'm not very emotional and it takes a lot for me to cry but there I was crying before and after work. I hated stripping by the time I retired this summer and I had really bad feelings about it for a while. The bad experience I had with going out of my comfort zone made me feel bad about my entire 6 1/2 stripping career.

    Now that I've had time to reflect, I don't hate stripping but I hate what I made myself do. Don't force yourself to do anything you don't want to do because in the end you will feel like shit. Try to get back into your old club and if that doesn't work, stay where you are but stay within your comfort zone.
    I'm very sorry that this was your situation. I hope that, if you end up going back to dancing, you can find a place which suits your comfort levels. Hugs.

  14. #38
    Featured Member devilkitty's Avatar
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    Default Re: High Contact

    Hi everyone I just want everyone to know that I went back to the Cheetah and talked to the house mom. It turns out that she wasn't the one who said that i didn't tip out. I have already sincerely apologized to her but i just wanted to clear the air because girls went back to her and told her that i thought it was her. Which in itself is kind of messed up because I know that everything you say on the internet is for anybody to read. In the same sense I think that as a web site for strippers we shouldn't be running to the staff and telling them what was said here. On a good note I am going back tonight. Thank you everyone for your responses. I appreciated them during this really hard time.
    Aut Pax Aut Bellum
    Either Peace Or War

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