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Thread: I have a problem and my problem is stupid.

  1. #26
    Veteran Member Lklucky's Avatar
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    Default Re: I have a problem and my problem is stupid.

    Since you are the "mother" in this relationship then you must behave like a mother would; make sure he knows how to sustain himself on his own (ie: load him with a little life knowledge on how to find a job, school etc..) and then kick him out of the nest; to not do so -and soon- may lead to your own regression.

  2. #27
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    Default Re: I have a problem and my problem is stupid.

    Can I just say how satisfying it is to finally see one of these threads end with the dirtbag getting booted out of the door? Gooooo TOTH!

  3. #28
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    Default Re: I have a problem and my problem is stupid.

    deleted.
    Last edited by Brendita; 10-12-2008 at 03:29 AM.

  4. #29
    Featured Member teeth_of_the_hydra's Avatar
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    Default Re: I have a problem and my problem is stupid.

    Quote Originally Posted by Susan Wayward View Post
    Can I just say how satisfying it is to finally see one of these threads end with the dirtbag getting booted out of the door? Gooooo TOTH!
    Thanks, pal. I mean, once the truth came out (and it did... oh it did) about what he'd really been doing with my money/car/trust/emotions, I'd have been the dumbest girl to keep him around. Because-- and I didn't write this earlier, but I might as well mention it now-- he was siphoning money off me to pay off his drug dealer, and driving the guy around in my car and making drug deals while I was at work. I mean, it makes me nauseous and dizzy to think about how I could have been so blind. But whatever. I only put up with it for a week, and he's gone now. And I wish that he had been the boy I thought he was, but I guess that boy is imaginary.

    Some rocky mountain Brendita lovin' would probably make me feel a lot better.
    Drought was over. Where was I? Drinks were on the house.
    For mixers, my love, you'd poured--what?--even the rain.

  5. #30
    Senior Member callah44's Avatar
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    Default Re: I have a problem and my problem is stupid.

    Yes I'm eyerolling but not at you....this reminds me of a time that I prefer to not admit happened...but i was in the same situation with an older man, which makes me even more embarrassed.

    Your money is gone. Im really sorry because it sounds like you need it. Waiting around for him to pay you back after he gets a job only means that you have to continue to support him and incur all living expenses and mistakes that he makes. Realistically, it will probably take him awhile to pay you back in full, even if you pay for everything in the process...consider the time it takes to get a job, then wait for a paycheck, etc...

    cut your losses and move forward. As "nice" as he may be he is dead weight, and you will not get ahead with him straggling along.

    You do have the option to give him advance notice that he needs to find a new place to live. You do not owe him anything, but if you think you might feel guilty, nicely let him know that you can't afford to support him anymore and that he needs to find a new place to live in X time. Good luck!!

  6. #31
    Senior Member callah44's Avatar
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    Default Re: I have a problem and my problem is stupid.

    Ok, shame on me for not reading the rest of the thread....oops!! Glad you have it settled!!

  7. #32
    Banned MissTaylor's Avatar
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    Default Re: I have a problem and my problem is stupid.

    I'm too lazy to quote right now but in your original post you said that if you kick him to the curb you won't get the money he owes you.

    The longer you keep him around, the more he's going to cost you. Write off the debt and bet thankful to have the extra expense out of your life.

  8. #33
    Featured Member Sveta's Avatar
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    Default Re: I have a problem and my problem is stupid.

    Quote Originally Posted by Brendita View Post
    Well, I am glad you resolved this already, and you can always come here and let me fuck you silly!
    you like girls? I was all shy around you in person b/c I thought you were cute. But I assumed you were straight.

    (lol, who am I kidding...even if I knew you liked girls I still wouldn't have said anything, b/c I am shy like that. But I totally would have flirted with you. )
    ~'A Seven Nation Army Couldn't Hold Me Back'~

  9. #34
    Banned MissTaylor's Avatar
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    Default Re: I have a problem and my problem is stupid.

    oooh, just read the rest of the thread. Ouch. Sorry to hear

  10. #35
    Featured Member txchick008's Avatar
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    Default Re: I have a problem and my problem is stupid.

    Finally. A strong SMART woman, that realized her mistake and did what she needed to do, to remedy the situation.

    Bravo!
    Kamryn
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  11. #36
    Moderator Optimist's Avatar
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    Default Re: I have a problem and my problem is stupid.

    Way to go, girl!!!!! Think of all that hot college boy ass you can get now!
    “What a caterpillar calls the end of the world we call a butterfly.” - ECKHART TOLLE

  12. #37
    God/dess phillyvixen's Avatar
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    Default Re: I have a problem and my problem is stupid.

    Bravo for ending it before it got worse
    Lick your wounds (or let one of these hot ladies lick them for you), dust off and move on.
    We have all been there, congrats on realizing what was wrong and dealing with it pronto.
    Teeth i have always thought you were awesome!



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    Tell him that he's a load his mom should have swallowed.

  13. #38
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    Default Re: I have a problem and my problem is stupid.

    I'm sorry you ever met that guy. It doesn't diminish any of your coolness...I lost a bunch of money to a guy a few years back. A guy also worthy of the term 'sketchy', and hey~!! Also ended up being on coke. I am still pretty embarrassed to think about it. These things happen, and I think your friend was right insofar as you have A LOT going for you. If I was in florida, I'd bring you cookies.

  14. #39
    Featured Member thechaosfairy's Avatar
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    Default Re: I have a problem and my problem is stupid.

    That item? You didn't steal it... you repo'd it as collateral.

    I say this with all due sympathy for the kid, but no more -- having been a moocher many times, but never a thief -- and never having dealt drugs outta someone's car. That shit is just low. I'm glad you're rid of him. Pawn the item... or sell it on ebay with an auction page about what a low-life you just got rid of; that kind of thing gets lots of hits!
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  15. #40
    Veteran Member jannisary's Avatar
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    Default Re: I have a problem and my problem is stupid.

    It would probably be a very good idea to clean out your car thoroughly to make sure either he or his drug dealer buddy didn't accidentally leave something behind that might wind up getting you in trouble at later date.

  16. #41
    Veteran Member XoticaDoll's Avatar
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    Default Re: I have a problem and my problem is stupid.

    I was in a similar situation TWICE , one of the differences was that the men were WAY older than I was. Did I say I made the mistake TWICE, like wow what was I thinking?

    I learnt the hard way to quit feeling sorry for people who dont deserve my help and certainly do not appreciate it.

    I am sorry you went through this but you got rid of him so you dont have to keep going through it anymore, great job girl.

    I have read some of your posts along the way and you seem super cool and smart and even smart women make mistakes and you gain knowledge from having gone through it making you stronger in the end.

    Now he has to figure out how to grow up and be a man.

  17. #42
    Featured Member Corey's Avatar
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    Default Re: I have a problem and my problem is stupid.

    Sex and affection are such powerful drugs. Damn! What he did to you?? Unacceptable!!

    Good for you to be strong enough to kick the little shit out.

    Maybe I'm an 'old school stripper', but I always thought that the way it worked was to have your guy do things and pay for things for you. Somehow, this philosophy has worked for me over the years.

    Just remember that you are the goddess and they should be bending over backwards to do things for you. Or they are just not worth it.

    Oh, and to the girl who said to clean out your car? Please do so! That would be a horrible thing to get pulled over and still have some sort of illegal shit in your car.
    (Formerly known as 'Korina')

  18. #43
    Featured Member txchick008's Avatar
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    Default Re: I have a problem and my problem is stupid.

    ^^

    Yes, and that ABSOLUTELY DOES happen. I had a dealer leave two $80's of coke in my backseat on accident - back in my party days this was great news for me (LOL), but nowadays.....bad news!

    Check that car out, top to bottom.
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  19. #44
    Veteran Member jannisary's Avatar
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    Default Re: I have a problem and my problem is stupid.

    Quote Originally Posted by Corey View Post
    Oh, and to the girl who said to clean out your car? Please do so! That would be a horrible thing to get pulled over and still have some sort of illegal shit in your car.
    Hmmm...... (carefully and fearfully checks and declares blue ribbon status)

    I mentioned checking the car for basically the same reason as Txchick008. While I never did the stuff myself, back in my wilder days there were several or more times when I gave lifts to people I knew did drugs. Once I found what appeared to be a crack pipe, another time a small baggie containing a crystalline like substance, and another time a switchblade knife. These were all under the passenger seat or right along the side between the passenger door and the seat. But it wouldn't hurt to check the car completely since the guy was driving it.

  20. #45
    God/dess anomar's Avatar
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    Default Re: I have a problem and my problem is stupid.

    Yay happy ending! So good.

  21. #46
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    Default Re: I have a problem and my problem is stupid.

    Yay! Congrats for doing a little "house cleaning"

    And I want to know what you stole! lol

  22. #47
    God/dess ViolaStrings's Avatar
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    Default Re: I have a problem and my problem is stupid.

    Search your car and make sure there aren't any drugs lying around!

  23. #48
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    Default Re: I have a problem and my problem is stupid.

    I'm glad this took an upturn, Teeth. You're a talented lady, and you need someone who fills up your spirit, not someone who drains it. Problem is, as a writer said once, there is a lust for the souls of talented people, and often they wind up doing more for others than for themselves; I read recently that sometimes F. Scott Fitzgerald wound up doing more work on the manuscripts of others than taking time for his own.

    Problem is, we NEED empathy to write. But we also need some perspective to keep from letting the empathy rule. So take care of your spirit, all right?
    JK Jim

  24. #49
    Veteran Member lazydaisy's Avatar
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    Default Re: I have a problem and my problem is stupid.

    Sounds like you already knew the correct answer when you posted so you just followed your heart. I'm glad.
    Quote Originally Posted by Polekitten View Post
    Its just not nice, there's just some things you don't do. Like you don't handle food without washing your hands, don't put your worn panties in your mouth.

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