Does your club have regulars..... who are shameless broke losers? Here's a thread for making fun of 'em!![]()
Some sad sons o' bitches who lurk my club:
#1) ERECTION MAN
Every Saturday, erection man comes in before 1pm to take advantage of the free cover. He sits upstairs, always in the same chair, overlooking the stages. He doesn't buy a single drink, buy dances, or tip anyone a dime. And he'll (almost literally) spend the entire day there. Sometimes, I stay till 8ish, and yup, Erection Man will still be in the building.
One day it was soooooooooo slow, so I figured, if he's getting a free show and gawking at us, I too should be able to gawk at him! In doing so I noticed something odd..... like clockwork, every minute or so, dude would stand up, make a half assed attempt to look like he's stretching, fidget, nervously look around, then sit back down. OBVIOUSLY TAMING AN ERECTION! No dude ever, ever, everrrrr has to sit down/stand up/rinse/repeat that often!
Wow. Just.... wow.
#2) FAUX MAFIOSO
Faux mafioso comes in Every. Single. Day. Unlike erection man, he has the decency to at least buy a drink and tip the waitresses. But like erection man, he lacks the decency to tip us or buy dances (unless you count the one time in the past 7 months he gave me $1.00 - big spender!).
Faux mafioso gets his namesake from that bad 70s Italian stereotype; overdose of hairgrease, half unbuttoned shirt / overdose of chest hair, and an excessive flash of gold jewelry. The crown jewel of his bling-ery is a thick gold medallion - which looks like it was dumpster dived from an arcade. Obviously worn to sucker new girls into thinking he's a 'whale'.
We all avoid him like the plague, but he still thinks he's our 'friend'. When walking past him, it's best to stay at least 3 feet away. Any closer than that, and roaming hands will pinch you on the ass or rope you in for a hug. On days it's packed, the alternate route to the dressing room is reccomended - unless you can jump like tigger.![]()



Reply With Quote

Kamryn
too true!

The stench! I can't tolerate even being near him--it just wafts.
Bookmarks