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Thread: PL's galore! lolzzzzz

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    Default PL's galore! lolzzzzz

    Does your club have regulars..... who are shameless broke losers? Here's a thread for making fun of 'em!



    Some sad sons o' bitches who lurk my club:


    #1) ERECTION MAN

    Every Saturday, erection man comes in before 1pm to take advantage of the free cover. He sits upstairs, always in the same chair, overlooking the stages. He doesn't buy a single drink, buy dances, or tip anyone a dime. And he'll (almost literally) spend the entire day there. Sometimes, I stay till 8ish, and yup, Erection Man will still be in the building.

    One day it was soooooooooo slow, so I figured, if he's getting a free show and gawking at us, I too should be able to gawk at him! In doing so I noticed something odd..... like clockwork, every minute or so, dude would stand up, make a half assed attempt to look like he's stretching, fidget, nervously look around, then sit back down. OBVIOUSLY TAMING AN ERECTION! No dude ever, ever, everrrrr has to sit down/stand up/rinse/repeat that often!

    Wow. Just.... wow.

    #2) FAUX MAFIOSO

    Faux mafioso comes in Every. Single. Day. Unlike erection man, he has the decency to at least buy a drink and tip the waitresses. But like erection man, he lacks the decency to tip us or buy dances (unless you count the one time in the past 7 months he gave me $1.00 - big spender!).

    Faux mafioso gets his namesake from that bad 70s Italian stereotype; overdose of hairgrease, half unbuttoned shirt / overdose of chest hair, and an excessive flash of gold jewelry. The crown jewel of his bling-ery is a thick gold medallion - which looks like it was dumpster dived from an arcade. Obviously worn to sucker new girls into thinking he's a 'whale'.

    We all avoid him like the plague, but he still thinks he's our 'friend'. When walking past him, it's best to stay at least 3 feet away. Any closer than that, and roaming hands will pinch you on the ass or rope you in for a hug. On days it's packed, the alternate route to the dressing room is reccomended - unless you can jump like tigger.

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    Senior Member SassyPants's Avatar
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    Default Re: PL's galore! lolzzzzz

    trachdouche: guy has a hole in his throat and tries to cover it up with his Kmart polos. Comes in all the time, talks a lot to the DJ and bartenders, feels up the girls. At first you feel sorry for him but then you realize he uses his infliction to gain pity and freebies. Always says, "Next time I come in, I'll get some dances." Won't even buy a COKE - always gets ice water... no matter how many times I put him down he still thinks he's the man because the staff talks to him. (he doesn't come in anymore since management started charging him cover)

    grindonmes:

    dudes who get on SW thinking they have something to contribute. in fact, they just are mirror images of the very customers we despise and wish would DIAF.

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    God/dess Polekitten's Avatar
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    Default Re: PL's galore! lolzzzzz

    I used to work in a club where all the doormen wore black trousers, a white shirt and a tie and we had this custy who came in dressed identically to this. That in itself wasn't unusual but the thing was, he would never sit down, he always stood up with his hands behind his back watching the crowd, usually at the bottom of the stairs. This dude actually thought he was a bouncer! He would watch the crowd and tell people off who he though were being out of line, it was totally weird.
    He kind of amused me so I always said hi to him and one night he came up to me and asked me to go to vip, ( he never bought dances, or spent any money, this time in vip was the one and only time he spent money in the club, he got barred son after this.) He told me that he was the manager of a supermarket, then he pulls his phone out and starts showing me pictures of all the different aisles in the supermarket. Saying stuff like, "See all those tins? See how they're stacked so neatly? I did that."

    He was seriously weird, he honestly thought I was so impressed by the fact that he thought he was a bouncer and could stack tins neatly. A PL if ever there was one.



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    Default Re: PL's galore! lolzzzzz

    deleted.
    Last edited by Brendita; 10-12-2008 at 03:14 AM.

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    Featured Member txchick008's Avatar
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    Default Re: PL's galore! lolzzzzz

    Regular who comes in EVERYDAY. Starts out by paying you to sit, then as time goes on, he replaces the $$$ with buying you lunch & rubbing your feet (sorry, but NO). When the $$ stops, the sitting-with-you stops too.
    Kamryn
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    Featured Member Kabukicho's Avatar
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    Default Re: PL's galore! lolzzzzz

    Quote Originally Posted by Brendita View Post

    Oh and then there was old ass Brian who was ALWAYS "waiting on the social security check". I heard he fell during a conga line in the club one day, and knocked everyone over. I did like one dance for him, and was so afraid of throwing a hip out that I stayed like two feet away the whole time. I actually had to help him up at the end. Of course, he gave me shit about paying for it....you know, because of the check he was waiting on. *rolleyes*
    A conga line in the club????!!!

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    Featured Member saphire123456's Avatar
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    Default Re: PL's galore! lolzzzzz

    There was this really creepy guy at a club i worked at - he came in on fridays and saturdays, he was prolly around 70yo with white greasy hair and he wore costumes (reminiscent of elvis one day, statue of liberty next) and carried a lunch box. needless to say he also STUNK. he didn't get dances, he would pay for polaroids with any new girls, and as a tip he'd give you a plastic bag with a couple of coins and some old candy.....shudders
    These days I like to count my money. I like to wash it delicately and iron it. Sometimes I dry it with some bounty to make it all nice and cuddly. I love my money... did I say that out loud?

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    Veteran Member Luxurious1's Avatar
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    Default Re: PL's galore! lolzzzzz

    Creepy "im an ex-truck driver" guy waits outside almost every day for the club to open. Says things like "oh ur gonna get naked for me" but never gets a dance from anyone. Wonders why noone wants to sit with him. Offers all the girls candy and then gets pissed and tells us we are whores when noone wants his freaking starbursts.

    every.single.day.
    Originally Posted by ViolaStrings
    Move on, move forward. There's a rainbow of cocks out there.

    *I gotta remember this!*

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    Default Re: PL's galore! lolzzzzz

    there's this one guy who talks about how he takes the bus to the club and fireworks. once in the club is there for hours w/o spending a dime. i once made the mistake of sitting w/ him and he had the worst stutter and sprayed spit when he talked. he's really hard to interrupt, so i just got up and walked away.

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    Featured Member Sveta's Avatar
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    Default Re: PL's galore! lolzzzzz

    Quote Originally Posted by SassyPants View Post

    grindonmes:

    dudes who get on SW thinking they have something to contribute. in fact, they just are mirror images of the very customers we despise and wish would DIAF.
    too true!
    ~'A Seven Nation Army Couldn't Hold Me Back'~

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    Default Re: PL's galore! lolzzzzz

    Quote Originally Posted by saphire123456 View Post
    he was prolly around 70yo with white greasy hair and he wore costumes (reminiscent of elvis one day, statue of liberty next) and carried a lunch box. needless to say he also STUNK.
    OMG, hahahahahaha! SEXY!!!

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    Default Re: PL's galore! lolzzzzz

    Quote Originally Posted by Polekitten View Post
    I used to work in a club where all the doormen wore black trousers, a white shirt and a tie and we had this custy who came in dressed identically to this. That in itself wasn't unusual but the thing was, he would never sit down, he always stood up with his hands behind his back watching the crowd, usually at the bottom of the stairs. This dude actually thought he was a bouncer!

    Wowwwwwww

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    Featured Member hot4ablackchick's Avatar
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    Default Re: PL's galore! lolzzzzz

    We have a PL that comes in with terrible doodie breath and will talk you to death. He won't spend a dime and anytime you ask him for a drink or a dance he says, "I wish I had more time," every single time. New girls always fall for him and make the mistake of sitting with him.
    CARMEN IS HOTT 4 A BLACK CHICK!!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by ViolaStrings View Post
    Why does he have a headset on his head, like Janet Jackson or some shit?
    Quote Originally Posted by Emily View Post
    why does Janet Jackson have a headset on her head?!

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    Veteran Member JDanielle's Avatar
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    Default Re: PL's galore! lolzzzzz

    Quote Originally Posted by Brendita View Post
    Oh and then there was old ass Brian who was ALWAYS "waiting on the social security check"
    I think I know this guy. When he comes in, if it's slow, I sit down long enough to get a drink and then I'm out. He's never bought a dance from me.

    A few times I saw this tiny Asian man in the club, with a cane and wearing some kind of traditional robe. He never spent a penny and would approach girls asking for sex in broken English. He was very optimistic, despite the fact that he was bluntly turned down every single time. He would stare at the girls' stage set and rubberneck shamelessly when they walked by.
    "Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company."
    -Mark Twain

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    Default Re: PL's galore! lolzzzzz

    deleted.
    Last edited by Brendita; 10-12-2008 at 03:14 AM.

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    Default Re: PL's galore! lolzzzzz

    ^ that is f*king awesome!!!

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    Featured Member glitzy's Avatar
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    Default Re: PL's galore! lolzzzzz

    Quote Originally Posted by Brendita View Post
    We have a shit load of stupid coordinated dances we have to do...a rodeo one, a disco one, a can can line, etc. The conga is the least embarassing.

    oh man, actually cracking up at home right now picturing this. i wish we had things like this at my club!!! so fucking cheesy & awesome.

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    Featured Member Corey's Avatar
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    Default Re: PL's galore! lolzzzzz

    Quote Originally Posted by Brendita View Post
    We have a shit load of stupid coordinated dances we have to do...a rodeo one, a disco one, a can can line, etc. The conga is the least embarassing.
    That seems like it would be fun the first few shifts, but I could see how it would become annoying. But still, pretty awesome
    (Formerly known as 'Korina')

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    Default Re: PL's galore! lolzzzzz

    deleted.
    Last edited by Brendita; 10-12-2008 at 03:11 AM.

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    Default Re: PL's galore! lolzzzzz

    I wish I was witty enough to convey the awfulness that is Mole. The best I can do is to say that he smells like a porta-potty, looks like a plump rodent, and recently told a dancer that he was going to have her face tattooed on his forearm.

    By the way. This guy probably spends 20 dollars every three months at the club.

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    Default Re: PL's galore! lolzzzzz

    OMG ya'lls PLs are so crazy! Mine pale in comparison but they're still really annoying...

    1. VIPshit- this guy LOVES to hang out in our VIP area and do jack squat except scowl down his fugly nose at girls and be rude if you try to speak to him. He's so cheap and such a jackass I finally mentioned it to management, b/c I couldn't imagine him dropping the cash on a VIP membership. They informed me he'd gotten it free- the club had comped him b/c the valet had lost his keys one night. I was amazed such a tightwad would've even gone for valet lol

    2. Octobabble- not someone I see as often as #1, but such a prick he deserves a mention anyway. This guy will literally rope you in to sit with him and then attempt to grope you, shooting off 100-stupid-questions-per-minute to try to keep you from bolting. Where ya from? How long you been here? What size shoe is that? What perfume you wearin? How tall are you? Got any pets? Just ON and ON! Ask for a dance and he just grins like a moron and asks you s'more dumb shit. I just hope I have a soda in hand next time I see him >.<

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    Default Re: PL's galore! lolzzzzz

    Quote Originally Posted by saphire123456 View Post
    There was this really creepy guy at a club i worked at - he came in on fridays and saturdays, he was prolly around 70yo with white greasy hair and he wore costumes (reminiscent of elvis one day, statue of liberty next) and carried a lunch box. needless to say he also STUNK. he didn't get dances, he would pay for polaroids with any new girls, and as a tip he'd give you a plastic bag with a couple of coins and some old candy.....shudders
    OMG I HATE that guy. Mgmt totally railroaded me into that polaroid. I hid my head.

    My club now has SO many PLs. Guys who stay ALL day. Everyday. A short sampling:

    -Creepy massage guy-lures new girls into sitting on his lap, starts massaging their arms and asks 'We do everything in VIP?'. They trys to HOLD YOU DOWN on his lap to 'massage' you when you try to get away.

    -Laptop guy-sits at the bar with his laptop. All day. Doesn't talk to anyone. Gets one drink.

    -Dancing guy-comes in Sundays. Wears brightly colored suits. Dances around the room. Hammer-dances. For hours. This is why I only work late Sundays now.

    There's a lot more. There's at LEAST 3 guys who come in 7 days a week.

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    Veteran Member Laylalust's Avatar
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    Default Re: PL's galore! lolzzzzz

    Quote Originally Posted by LilyLove View Post
    I wish I was witty enough to convey the awfulness that is Mole. The best I can do is to say that he smells like a porta-potty, looks like a plump rodent, and recently told a dancer that he was going to have her face tattooed on his forearm.

    By the way. This guy probably spends 20 dollars every three months at the club.
    OH MY GOD, MOOOOOLE. The stench! I can't tolerate even being near him--it just wafts.

    Still, even though he only came in a few times, the Shrew irritated me even more than Mole.


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    Featured Member CherryBomb954's Avatar
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    Default Re: PL's galore! lolzzzzz

    Haven't been posting much lately but I HAD to contribute to this one.....

    Funny 'cuz I just ran into one of these notable douches from an old club last night at the bust stop!

    POETRY GUY.

    That's right. He'd write poems about all of us, type them up, then bring them into the club inside a little folder and hand them out. Apparently he was out of work for something and had nothing better to do then obsess over all of us.
    He'd come in every single day, sit in the same chair, and order a coke. No dances, no tipping, just poems. Normally I wouldn't call a guy like this a douche, just feel kinda sorry for them, but he could be a real asshole some days, especially to the new girls who didn't know about his no dance/no tip policy.

    I saw him last night while waiting for the bus, he walked over as if he was gonna talk to me, then turned around and walked back. I have changed alot appearance wise since he las saw me so I think he was unsure if it was me. Thank god, I wasn't in the mood for his shenanigans.

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    Default Re: PL's galore! lolzzzzz

    Quote Originally Posted by Laylalust View Post
    OH MY GOD, MOOOOOLE. The stench! I can't tolerate even being near him--it just wafts.

    Still, even though he only came in a few times, the Shrew irritated me even more than Mole.
    Haha I couldn't remember the Shrew's nickname. Ew ew ew. It cracks me up thinking about him actually. Now that he's gone anyway.

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