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Thread: I hate cuddles

  1. #1
    God/dess Polekitten's Avatar
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    Default I hate cuddles

    Ok, thats not true, I love cuddles, I just can't cuddle in bed. I'm ok for some cuddling when we first get in bed but then I just get too claustrophic. I can't sleep all wrapped up in someone, I need my own space. Even if the bf rolls over for a cuddle in the middle of the night it wakes me up straight away and I have to shove him off.

    I feel like a meany but it just freaks me out, I get all hot and sweaty and I feel all fidgity, I need my own space. Its not the bf, I've always been like this with every guy I've been with, I've probably fallen asleep cuddling about 5 times in my life. Even in the morning I have to be totally away before I cuddle. This morning the bf was up early and rolled over for a cuddle before he got up for work. When he does this I just bear it coz I know he wants some cuddles before he goes but I really hate it.

    I think it might be because I'm a troubled sleeper, in the past I've gone through weeks of not sleeping well, sometime the tiniest thing can wake me up and once I'm up I'm up and can't get back to sleep. It makes me feel like a bad girlfriend though, is anyone else like this?



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    Default Re: I hate cuddles

    I love to cuddle for about 5 minutes then roll over and go to sleep alon. I can't even share blankets. I gotta hav my own blanket and my own space to sleep.

    I don't think it makes you a bad girlfriend at all to not like to sleep all wrapped up insomeone else..as lon as ou d the cddle thing for a few minutes before rolling over.

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    God/dess phillyvixen's Avatar
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    Default Re: I hate cuddles

    so funny you wrote this
    I was writing a very similar post in my head as my husband suffocated me with his cuddles. My man is big and he produces enough heat to warm up a small country and spooning with him instantly makes me start to sweat. I love his cuddles don't get me wrong, and i am VERY affectionate but i REALLY don't want any while i'm sleeping. We usually cuddle for a few minutes then i yell
    "BREAK"
    And we break apart and sleep about 2 feet apart. I HATE being touched while i sleep!



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    Veteran Member lazydaisy's Avatar
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    Default Re: I hate cuddles

    lmao I'm the same way but I sleep very hot. My hubby freezes at night and searches me out in the bed to get warm. We end up all over the bed with me trying to stay away so I'm not trapped by the snuggler. I don't even like my feet under the blankets, I sleep with them peeking out. And NEVER in the center of the bed. I have to be near the edge.
    Quote Originally Posted by Polekitten View Post
    Its just not nice, there's just some things you don't do. Like you don't handle food without washing your hands, don't put your worn panties in your mouth.

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    Default Re: I hate cuddles

    I can't stand the heat! GAH. I like to take over the bed and push the cuddler AWAY from me. I need space, too.

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    Featured Member desavirsire's Avatar
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    Default Re: I hate cuddles

    Same here, I can't fall asleep if someone is touching me!

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    God/dess Polekitten's Avatar
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    Default Re: I hate cuddles

    I thought I was a freak! Thanks guys for all replying. My bf is also like and oven, I never need my heating on at night as he heats the whole room! Even if I'm fast asleep and he rolls into me in the night I wake up straight away as the heat is too much!

    Glad I'm not alone as the repeller of cuddles.



    "I don't take a piss without getting paid for it." - Harlan Ellison

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    Quote Originally Posted by pixierocksonthepole View Post
    "tampons are proof that God exsists."

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    Veteran Member SweetMelissa's Avatar
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    Default Re: I hate cuddles

    My husband can fall asleep cuddling. I can't. He complains I don't cuddle with him enough so when I'm in the mood/not tired enough yet, I'll cuddle with him until he falls asleep or I can't take it anymore.

    I like to sleep on my stomach or in the fetal position so uhhh yeah..hard to cuddle in those positions.

    He's tried cuddling up with me from behind but I hate feeling his sweaty package (plus hard-on sometimes) against me while I'm trying to fall asleep.

    Quote Originally Posted by lazydaisy View Post
    I don't even like my feet under the blankets, I sleep with them peeking out. And NEVER in the center of the bed. I have to be near the edge.
    I'm the opposite. I haveeeeeee to have the blanket wrapped tightly around my feet.

    I do like to be near the edge of the bed also but I think that's only because we have a small bed and my husband hogs most of it.

    Quote Originally Posted by phillyvixen View Post
    ...we break apart and sleep about 2 feet apart. I HATE being touched while i sleep!
    I wake up every time my husband touches me. It pisses me off so much when he does..even accidentally. I can't wait to buy a bigger bed.

    He joked once saying, "Why don't you just put a wall of pillows in between us!" Hmmm good idea.

  9. #9
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: I hate cuddles

    My ex was like this. I felt so rejected at night but we reached a sort of compromise and would cross our ankles together when we slept. Me, I love to cuddle all night and so does K. I love sleeping with him as much as I love the sex! We do sleep all wrapped up in each other and it's hard for me to fall asleep when he's not there. I sleep so much better while cuddling. Fortunately he does too.

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    God/dess cutey5032's Avatar
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    Default Re: I hate cuddles

    I like cuddling, but my bf LOVES it. If we're just hanging out in the middle of the day he will be like "Hey wanna go cuddle" Sometimes it gets too much though, having 220 pounds of bear wrapped around me in the middle of the night can be suffocating. Sometimes I push him away, but that makes him sad so I usually end up cuddling him anyway

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    Default Re: I hate cuddles

    My best friend is this way. She thought she was so strange because she doesn't like to be touched while she sleeps. I love to cuddle and can fall asleep that way.

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    Veteran Member renaissance's Avatar
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    Default Re: I hate cuddles

    OMG, this is too funny because I was just talking about this with a friend. She HATES cuddling unless she's drunk. So the other night we were both drinking and fell asleep cuddling on the couch. When we woke up and she was sober she just got up and sat on the floor while we talked. LOL

    I'm very touchy feely (and thus love cuddling) and now I know it's because it's one of my Love Languages. If you haven't read the book The Five Love Languages go check it out. Basically people "feel" loved in different ways and one of them is physical touch. So I'm betting that most of your SO's feel loved when cuddling/being all touchy feely and like most of you have pointed out they feel rejected or something without it. Cuz I know I'm like that.

    Anyway I thought this was funny cuz I'm talking about this with my friend now.
    Conducting myself in a terribly sexy fashion on and

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    Banned jasmine's Avatar
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    Default Re: I hate cuddles

    I cannot get comfortable all hugged up either. I'm not to hot or anything, just can't fall asleep because my arm will go numb or my leg will start itching, etc. I usually sleep with my hand on hubby's shoulder if I feel the need to cuddle.

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    God/dess Polekitten's Avatar
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    Default Re: I hate cuddles

    Quote Originally Posted by SweetMelissa View Post

    I'm the opposite. I can't wait to buy a bigger bed.
    I would quite happily have 2 single beds tbh. In an ideal world we would have a nice big bed to have sex in and for cuddles and 2 single beds for sleeping.



    "I don't take a piss without getting paid for it." - Harlan Ellison

    Life is movement, movement is life.
    To live is to move, to move is to be alive.
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    Quote Originally Posted by pixierocksonthepole View Post
    "tampons are proof that God exsists."

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    God/dess xdamage's Avatar
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    Default Re: I hate cuddles

    Quote Originally Posted by Polekitten View Post
    I would quite happily have 2 single beds tbh. In an ideal world we would have a nice big bed to have sex in and for cuddles and 2 single beds for sleeping.
    There are times I feel this way, but here is a trick...

    PILLOWS


    Yep, lots of them. With pillows and a larger bed you can erect a kind of no-fly zone between you and the other, allowing you to sleep peacefully.

    Unfortunately when it comes to my cat this trick does not work, and I find it impossible to hurt his little feelings. So my side of the bed is shared very carefully with him. Funny thing is he takes up more bed space then I do. Clever kitty.

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    Default Re: I hate cuddles

    I'm similar. My man is very affectionate and I absolutely love and adore this about him. It was what I was seeking in a man.

    Anyway, the downside. The bed cuddling. He does want to cuddle before we both go to sleep. He can also sometimes do it without really knowing he is doing it through-out the night .. and yes.. I wake up. Then he does it before he leaves for work however that is perfectly okay with me as I can easily get sleep after he leaves.

    It is the during the night whilst I'm sleeping cuddling that gets to me as .. yes.. I too don't like to be touched whilst asleep.

    I personally put this down to the fact that I wasn't raised in an affectionate family. All my sleeping experiences I can recall have been alone ..... and thus I like it that way. Plus I find that I have to either be on my back or lying on my right side (on the right side of the bed) in order to go to sleep.

    The compromise for us is that I do spend a little time cuddling .. then we both pretty much turn our backs to each other (as he is a snorer and thus needs to lie on his left side initially in order to sleep).... and the other compromise is that I also spend some time cuddling with him (even if he has a boner haha) before he has to get up/go to work.

    It's just the "middle of the night" cuddles that I don't like as I prefer to be the one who is interrupting my sleep not someone else as such if you get me ?

    Quote Originally Posted by xdamage View Post

    Unfortunately when it comes to my cat this trick does not work, and I find it impossible to hurt his little feelings. So my side of the bed is shared very carefully with him. Funny thing is he takes up more bed space then I do. Clever kitty.
    this is why at my place I have to sleep on my back when i initially go to sleep. my cat, Marnie, loves to 'dominate' me. Luckily she just usually leaves or something once I am asleep (sometimes waking me up). I love waking up to find her curled up at my feet right next to me. It's one of my "must haves" for a cat.. a cat that likes to sleep next to me.

    Yet it can also be my downfall as I will wake up and feel "cramped" on my side of the bed due to having my man on the other side.. and her somewhere.. and I always feel guilty if I interrupt her 'sleep'.


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    Moderator charlie61's Avatar
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    Default Re: I hate cuddles

    Yeah, I love cuddling, but my SO's always snore. Plus, I always have a reaalllly hard time getting myself to sleep. So I'll be laying there (spooning), and he'll start snoring (usually after 30 seconds of "Let's try to fall asleep" time). There's no fuckin way I can sleep that way. I push him off and roll over.

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    God/dess xdamage's Avatar
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    Default Re: I hate cuddles

    Quote Originally Posted by GoldCoastGirl View Post
    this is why at my place I have to sleep on my back when i initially go to sleep. my cat, Marnie, loves to 'dominate' me.
    Oh yes! I know this trick. Back sleep means he will stretch out next to me, but it maximizes my free space when I am ready to turn on my side. If I side sleep, I am screwed... he always lays in whatever way takes up all available bed space Cats Be Smart!

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