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Thread: Am I over-reacting?

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    Default Am I over-reacting?

    It's not entirely uncommon for friends of mine to swing into the club. For the most part, if they are acting like a customers should (drinks and dances) then I will chill with them unless it's more lucrative elsewhere. Last night was SLOW, the only other customers were a rowdy bachelor party (who were not worth the money to sit with. They eventually got thrown out for crawling up onto the stage while I was on it!). I'm sitting with my friends, a couple, I've known them for a little while now. I'm close to the chick, I call her my blonde twin. He boyfriend is a great guy, funny, and little goofy.

    He asks for a dance and I say sure. His girlfriend is cool with it. He's not the first friend I've given a dance to. So up we go. I give him a dance and deliberately tone it down because it's my best friend's boyfriend. Apparently though, from his reactions, it was still a pretty bangin' lapdance. He stands up, all wide eyed and speechless, and immediately reaches for a cigarette. I poke fun at him and we head back downstairs. His girlfriend is sitting at the tiprail competing with the guys next to her to see who can tip the dancer on stage more (I love my friends). The Boyfriend says he thinks she's made at him, and I ask why. "Because she sees how I look at you." I make a joke that well, yeah, I get up on stage and ritually get naked. He chuckles and shakes his head no. I ask what he means. "Let's just say you're a ten in my book." I jokingly say I'm flattered and he smiles again. "I think I may have to come back by myself sometime with more money for dances."

    WHOA RED LIGHT.

    This is not cool to me. At all. If she were cool with it, sure, but I'm not entirely sure he;d run it passed her. I do not want to be involved if this is the case. He's a nice guy, handsome and all, but NO, my best friend's boyfriend, my good friend.

    I was blown away and honestly couldn't talk much after that, my head was spinning.

    Am I over reacting?

  2. #2
    Senior Member 8eyespyder's Avatar
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    Default Re: Am I over-reacting?

    I don't think you're over-reacting at all. I would feel weird if my best friends bf said he was comin to c me by himself. Mayb u should have a talk with them?
    Or maybe u shouldn't dance for him anymore. It might be easier that way so as not to make any waves between u and ur best friend.

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    Member Billie657's Avatar
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    Default Re: Am I over-reacting?

    I would react the same way.
    Its on thing for him to come in with his GF and get a dance, but to suggest basicly sneaking around to come get a dance is crossing a line. His GF is your good friend, of course you dont want to be doing things behind her back. If he does come by himself one day for a private dance you should probably find a nice way to turn him down.

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    Default Re: Am I over-reacting?

    No! That is not okay.
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    Default Re: Am I over-reacting?

    Maybe he was just saying it in the moment? I wouldn't make a deal out of it unless he actually came in on his own . I don't think you are over reacting, i would be put off by that too. But it doesn't mean he's bad or you need to tell her , he sounds like alot of customer's he just happens to be your bff's bf. As long as you decline , I don't see an issue.

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    Featured Member txchick008's Avatar
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    Default Re: Am I over-reacting?

    Wow. I would back WAY off. If you value her friendship, don't dance for him again. I would make up whatever excuses I had to, but don't fuel the fire.

    Also, if he DOES show up alone, and wasn't just talking out of his ass - I would absolutely tell her ASAP.
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    Default Re: Am I over-reacting?

    You're not over reacting. Maybe the next time you see him you could just tell him that you think he took the dance a little too seriously so you aren't going to dance for him again.



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    Default Re: Am I over-reacting?

    I can't imagine a friendship in which I would be comfortable dancing for my friend's SO. It just seems like a setup for drama and unhappiness, no matter how "not jealous" people claim to be. There's a difference btw buying your guy a dance from a total stranger and buying him one from your mutual hot friend. Unless she's angling for a threesome, she's an idiot.

    And no, you aren't over-reacting. If he comes in there, tell him very clearly why you don't want to dance for him.
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    Default Re: Am I over-reacting?

    Quote Originally Posted by Andygirl View Post
    I can't imagine a friendship in which I would be comfortable dancing for my friend's SO. It just seems like a setup for drama and unhappiness, no matter how "not jealous" people claim to be. There's a difference btw buying your guy a dance from a total stranger and buying him one from your mutual hot friend. Unless she's angling for a threesome, she's an idiot.
    ITA! Also, from now on, don't give him any more dances.







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    Default Re: Am I over-reacting?

    I wouldnt have even felt comfortable doing the dance for him with her ITC. He is totally wrong and u should tell her what a sleaze he is.
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    Default Re: Am I over-reacting?

    You should never have danced for him in the first place, honestly. Don't do it again, for sure.

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    Default Re: Am I over-reacting?

    ^^

    I feel weird enough dancing for guys when their wife is sitting next to them. Happened last night and I was like:
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    Default Re: Am I over-reacting?

    I don't see how you could give a true friends BF a lapdance. Thats just weird in itself. I would never give a true friends boyfriend a LD. I don't really have any friends other than my hubby, but I wouldn't give my hubby's friends an LD. Even if my hubby was cool with it. I wouldn't even give someone who worked for my hubby or knew my hubby on a personal level an LD. Thats just bad judgement IMO. What kind of creepo would take a LD from their girlfriends friend anyway? I'm sorry but that says a lot about his character right there.
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    Default Re: Am I over-reacting?

    Quote Originally Posted by hot4ablackchick View Post
    I don't see how you could give a true friends BF a lapdance. Thats just weird in itself. I would never give a true friends boyfriend a LD. I don't really have any friends other than my hubby, but I wouldn't give my hubby's friends an LD. Even if my hubby was cool with it. I wouldn't even give someone who worked for my hubby or knew my hubby on a personal level an LD. Thats just bad judgement IMO. What kind of creepo would take a LD from their girlfriends friend anyway? I'm sorry but that says a lot about his character right there.
    I disagree, people are different. There are certain friends I would not dance for, certain friends who my husband let's me fuck, and certain ones in between. He was obviously an ass for saying what he did, but the mere act of getting a dance does not say anything about his character.

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    Featured Member AznExtasy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Am I over-reacting?

    Guys can't think straight when they're turned on, so he probably couldn't control what he said. I would just dance for the cool girlfriend next time.

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    Featured Member *Iris*'s Avatar
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    Default Re: Am I over-reacting?

    No you are not over-reacting . Stay away unless you want to lose your friend.

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    Featured Member txchick008's Avatar
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    Default Re: Am I over-reacting?

    Quote Originally Posted by MeanGirl View Post
    There are certain friends I would not dance for, certain friends who my husband let's me fuck, and certain ones in between.
    Wow! Are there certain friends he can fuck to? That's an interesting arrangement- although I see a lot of it on these boards. Makes you wonder how many people I know are actually closet swingers
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    Featured Member Otoki's Avatar
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    Default Re: Am I over-reacting?

    I would personally tell my girlfriend "Hey, your guy made me really uncomfortable last night. He said he wants to come back to the club alone. Can you tell him that sort of joke isn't funny?"
    That way you can make sure not to land him in TOO hot a spot if he was just joking around, but you can let your girl know that that arrangement makes you unhappy.

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