Hi everyone--I'm in a tricky situation and wanted to ask for wisdom from my stripperweb sisters and brothers. A friend of mine lost her husband, at a young age, to cancer about a month ago. He'd had a long bout with it; I hadn't been in contact with them in some years (we were all friends really only through business--I am an author and she is also in the literary world) and she contacted me to let me know he was dying--and he was gone very shortly afterward.
My heart went out to her, because she is a good soul and I'd liked her husband, also; they had been together a long time and had a great marriage. I did the normal things you do--went to the service, offered any help I could give. She asked if I would come over to lunch and I did so. During the lunch, she seemed to be hinting that she wanted to spend more time with me. I had that feeling you get--that sense that someone wants a romantic attachment. I was uneasy about it; the timing of course felt odd and it was a completely new side of her I was seeing, and she was saying that she and her husband had discussed that she should begin seeing other people after he was gone. I felt put on the spot--and deep in my heart I also knew that even if the situation were much different I wouldn't want a relationship with her: we're just not the same type. Ever since, I've tried to avoid get-togethers (mostly because she lives a long distance from me, but also because I can see that she'll want to push me on this again). Tonight she sent a strange e-mail saying that she could see I wanted to just be a "superficial" friend...I e-mailed back right away explaining that I hoped I'd never given the wrong impression, but all I can promise is a normal friendship.
What a situation! I feel like hell, because she's just lost the man she loves. Is it possible that I'm just a stand-in for him, a kind of life-raft in her grief until she comes out of this? That's what I've been telling myself, but the anger she's starting to display baffles me. As nearly as I can tell, I haven't done anything to suggest I wanted a relationship. Any ideas? Thank you in advance for reading through this, stripperweb family!




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Kamryn

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