Who here was a member of ASS-C?

[Golden_Rule]

Anyone here a member of ASS-C?

Anyone go to any of the ASS-Cons?

I was a regular member on both the UseNet group and the IRC chat back in the late 80's-early 90's.

Anyone know what because of Bob Smyth, Al "The Pope", Bubba, Molly, Ginger, Siren.

Mr Pitiful, from the NYC side of ASS-C [like myself] who use to be a member here under another handle until he just couldn't take it anymore, I know personally and still see from time to time. I moderate a couple of boards he is a member of.

I lost touch with Eye-2-Eye, also from NYC, some years back.

Any news? Any news?

[The_Oceans]

I posted a couple dozen times in ass-c in the 1998-2000 time frame, and I also went to ASSCon-4 in San Fran in the summer of '99.

[Chili Palmer]

In its day, ass-c was the most kickass newsgroup on the intrawebs. I was mainly a lurker in the newsgroup but I was in ass-c IRC all the time, and Z-Bone made me one of his original moderators for his LA Strip Club site. When ass-c seized control of the macrame newsgoup was possibly the greatest series of posts of all time. Never went to an ass-con, but I did go to a couple Z-cons, including one hosted by John Sheridan, the now infamous "chokemaster" who turned out to be not only the manager of a strip club, but also a hitman and carried a wire for the feds, leading to years of "Can you talk a little louder into the pizza?" jokes on Z-bone.

But dude, SW/SCJ isn't ass-c, and it never will be. Stop trying to make it otherwise; the only thing more futile is posting in Members' threads trying to get people to change their mind on McCain/Palin vs. Obama/Biden. This site was borne from the ashes of Stripperpower, and could not be further from ass-c's mission than is metaphysically possible. If you haven't noticed, most of the guys on this site (no offense, dudes) are hockeybobbys and UtahMikes-types. I doubt they'd know a double entendre if it unzipped their pants. Do you really think a "Have you ever come during a lapdance?" poll on ass-c woul have so many dudes so quick to deny it happening, or would it instead have about a 200% "yes" rating, followed by about two pages of hysterical, scathing flames for the poor schmuck who posted such a lame/obvious topic. (Hell, I'd be willing to wager one dude came while actually posting on a computer from Chez Paree.)

You keep claiming to be a retired cop, with 25 years of experience. Given your absolute inability to process the same facts over and again, and your refusal to acknowledge any other opinion other than your own, I'll bet the criminals in upstate New York were all saddened the day you retired from the force. (My apologies for the shot, but seriously.)

Do us a favor. Post a review, write about an OTC encounter, tell us who you think will cover the spread in the NFL this weekend. But please, please, stop with the all the lecturing, and then the whining when absolutely no one on this site, male or female, agrees with you.

CP

[Docido]

I lurked on ass-c just as it began to die a slow, but certain death. I do fondly remember reading some of the archives of "A Fail to Suck Day." Some the best, most poignant, often sad, and ridiculous writing I've ever had the pleasure to read.

[Susan Wayward]

I used to read it for entertainment.

[Chili Palmer]

P.P.S. Chili would be nicer to you if you glued a pair of expanding tits to your chest.

See? THAT's what I'm talkin' about. Thanks, Ook. <sigh> I miss the old days.

CP

[Golden_Rule]

In its day, ass-c was the most kickass newsgroup on the intrawebs. I was mainly a lurker in the newsgroup but I was in ass-c IRC all the time, and Z-Bone made me one of his original moderators for his LA Strip Club site.

I know Z-Bone. Online anyway. In fact we use to be much more of a single mind back then, though he knew me under another handle. I was phasing out by the time ASS-Con two had come and gone [what was that Z-bone, '96].

Like I said, I date back to before the time that Al was regularly holding court from Chez and left after that fell apart.

Besides those I mentioned above I recall Saxbeat, Marc182 [who was walking in as I was walking out, as I recall - though I could be wrong about that]

When ass-c seized control of the macrame newsgroup was possibly the greatest series of posts of all time.

I recall a raid, but I don't remember what group it was.

But dude, SW/SCJ isn't ass-c, and it never will be. Stop trying to make it otherwise; the only thing more futile is posting in Members' threads trying to get people to change their mind on McCain/Palin vs. Obama/Biden. This site was borne from the ashes of Stripperpower, and could not be further from ass-c's mission than is metaphysically possible. If you haven't noticed, most of the guys on this site (no offense, dudes) are hockeybobbys and UtahMikes-types.

Well, I see much reform in HB in that regard [not that it should mean shit to HB what I think]. Others... BLTs... guys, I meant what I said in another thread on pink. If you are chasing pussy on this website, man what a waste of time. There really is no sex in the CR here [now I know and belong to a couple of websites where there is a DIRECT correlation between posting and getting access to sex, in fact I head moderator one, but here - on SW - I know of only ONE guy whose used it to actually meet dancers in person and he does that abroad, meeting US dancers in Japan. He is a member of another, private, website I moderate].

Unless some of you guys want to come clean about meeting dancers from the site and getting SFT [special fucking treatment] from them because you were a SW poster I see no reason to be here other than to simply exchange ideas, recipes, etc. So that's all I do here.

If you want to exchange ideas with folks about SCs, and some of them happen to be strippers, cool. Who would have more to say about SCs than the people who work in them. Trying to make brownie points though? Why? What's the point of that? [sorry, I just don't see it and I'm a thick enough Mick to say so]

I doubt they'd know a double entendre if it unzipped their pants. Do you really think a "Have you ever come during a lapdance?" poll on ass-c woul have so many dudes so quick to deny it happening, or would it instead have about a 200% "yes" rating, followed by about two pages of hysterical, scathing flames for the poor schmuck who posted such a lame/obvious topic. (Hell, I'd be willing to wager one dude came while actually posting on a computer from Chez Paree.)

{LOL} Yes, but he would have done so with some one's lips firmly planted about his shaft. At least if you believed the way Al told it sometimes. Damn I would have loved to see that place up close and personal before it changed owners. And I don't mean because of the extras available. The crew, dancers and customers a like, were just so interesting.

And Molly is probably the only stripper I'd have ever gone totally PL for. {LOL}

You keep claiming to be a retired cop, with 25 years of experience. Given your absolute inability to process the same facts over and again, and your refusal to acknowledge any other opinion other than your own, I'll bet the criminals in upstate New York were all saddened the day you retired from the force. (My apologies for the shot, but seriously.)

Actually, you are totally wrong about that. I process just fine. I just don't pretend to agree when I don't. It's not personal. Others might want to make it personal, but to me its just agreeing to disagree.

As to my career, very low blow. You don't know me at all so why the cheap shot. I'd not do it to you. Just for the record: I am a retired cop. Promoted by merit to the administrative ranks but continued to serve in the line by choice. Served my time with distinction. Have numerous awards, pretty ribbons, and more than a couple of scars to prove it.

Do us a favor. Post a review, write about an OTC encounter, tell us who you think will cover the spread in the NFL this weekend. But please, please, stop with the all the lecturing, and then the whining when absolutely no one on this site, male or female, agrees with you.

I do those things too. And I am NOT lecturing. I am being me and being misunderstood as lecturing. Like I've said elsewhere, I understand that my personality type comes off that way, but this leopard is a bit old to be changing its spots. I wish folks would just take me at my word, like I take them at theirs, and not put words, motivations, and other stuff that simply isn't there on me. It really isn't fair.

A lecture is one way. If you look closely you will see I am listening, as well as talking. The fact that I don't always agree doesn't mean I don't hear what is being said.

But I tell you what, and I mean this, because you asked in what I see as sincere good faith [other than the cheap shot] I'm going to make some effort to not point out the ironic and the hypocritical I see as it go by, and not ask questions of folks as to why they are behaving as they are [even though I am legitimately curious, or else I wouldn't ask]. I'd ask for a break, like being met half-way but I'm a realist.

How long, and if, that lasts I make NO promises because I am the me that I am and I like me the way I am; The people who I need to like me like me the way I am; and thus I have little desire to change the way I am. {said with a true smile and hope for a little understanding}

Truly wishing well...

BTW, the Jets this Sunday. Give the points. Bank on it.

[Golden_Rule]

I lurked on ass-c just as it began to die a slow, but certain death. I do fondly remember reading some of the archives of "A Fail to Suck Day." Some the best, most poignant, often sad, and ridiculous writing I've ever had the pleasure to read.

I had at least one fail to suck day post that made the HOF.

If you want to track me down I suppose it could be easily done, though I did a little archie and veronica work on the newgroup a long time ago and most of my posts are gone from all the archives.

It was necessary because, at the time, my off duty swinger's life style was starting to cramp the department's view of what made for a good officer. Even though my work was never faulted. I couldn't have any written evidence laying about for somone to find about my going to strip-clubs [though I use to bounce in clubs in my college days, it was my swinging that brought me back to the clubs, as I am sure you know that there are no small number of female swingers that are also dancers... NOT the other way around though... not the other way around. Don't want that mistake being made].

I will say though I may have something to do with the coining of the term "frontage' to mean the amount of skin showed [particularly frontal] during a lap dance...

Something I dug up out of my archives:

[Chili Palmer]

Some final comments from me on this subject, and then I'll let it go.

Everyone who posts anywhere on the net develops some type of internet persona. Whenever a new post appears, there are one of three initial reactions from the potential readers: A) "Oh goody, PosterX wrote something;" B) "Yawn, PosterX wrote something;" or, C) "Not PosterX again..."

It's not that I actually disagree with much of what you write, it's just that your writing style tends to fall into Categories B & C. You have a tendency to hit us over the head with your intellect, until it becomes almost Fredo Corleone-like: "It ain't the way I wanted it! I can handle things! I'm smart! Not like everybody says... like dumb... I'm smart and I want respect!"

Coming onto this (or any) site and proclaiming yourself intellectually superior (either directly or by implication) is going to be taken about as seriously as those posters claiming they have the biggest cock, pull strippers for free, dancers who claim they don't need regulars, someone have TOO much money, etc.

Let your posts speak for themselves. Neither SaiBaba nor DrD had to bludgeon people with their brains. Their posts made it obvious they had a high intellect, and they were fucken funny as hell, too. I developed an Iron Law for IBB posts years ago: "Be funny or informative. You can be both, or one or the other, but you cannot be neither." In all seriousness, I cannot recall once having laughed or even chuckled from one of your posts. It's like reading a frickin sociology major's thesis from a CUNY term paper.

One more thing: Off the top of my head, I know of at least eight dudes who have hooked up with SW chicks. I'm just sayin'.

CP

[Golden_Rule]

Some final comments from me on this subject, and then I'll let it go. Everyone who posts anywhere on the net develops some type of internet persona. Whenever a new post appears, there are one of three initial reactions from the potential readers: A) "Oh goody, PosterX wrote something;" B) "Yawn, PosterX wrote something;" or, C) "Not PosterX again..."

It's not that I actually disagree with much of what you write, it's just that your writing style tends to fall into Categories B & C. You have a tendency to hit us over the head with your intellect, until it becomes almost Fredo Corleone-like: "It ain't the way I wanted it! I can handle things! I'm smart! Not like everybody says... like dumb... I'm smart and I want respect!"

Believe me, I fully understand, but you write thousands of dry, fact based driven, reports detailing complex investigations with no hint of personality in them so lawyers have nothing to pull apart on the witness stand and see what becomes of YOUR writing style after a couple dozen years or so. Or arid policy and technical memorandum like I do in my consulting work.

I use to write poetry and short stories when I was a kid. Couldn't do it now for love or money. Best I can do is shown in some of the stuff I've written for OTC and ANATO threads. I know its about interesting stuff because I was there when it happened, but when I read back what I've written it still sounds kind of dry to me. Folks probably agree because I never see anyone comment on them.

Coming onto this (or any) site and proclaiming yourself intellectually superior (either directly or by implication)

You see, but I never did that. Some folks here proclaimed that, but I never have and never would. I am a bright person though, and bright people are smart enough to know that they can't possibly know if they are smarter than someone they've never laid eyes upon. So I wouldn't do that. Like I said, I know my dry writing style can come across as pompous, and pomposity is frequently taken for an air of intellectual superiority, but in person I am neither.

Eric Stoner has similar issues with folks around here, and I know he does a lot of similar style writing but I know him IRL [nothing to do with SW] and he's nothing like the way he is painted sometimes around here. I can say the exact same thing about myself. I am nothing like the way I am painted here.

I developed an Iron Law for IBB posts years ago: "Be funny or informative. You can be both, or one or the other, but you cannot be neither."

Except in my line of work, where if your writing shows any kind of "personality" some defense lawyer will use it to make you look like an idiot. The writing has to be fact driven, dry, and to the point.

In all seriousness, I cannot recall once having laughed or even chuckled from one of your posts. It's like reading a frickin sociology major's thesis from a CUNY term paper.

You nailed it. That's the style all right. At least grad level work, I hope.

One more thing: Off the top of my head, I know of at least eight dudes who have hooked up with SW chicks. I'm just sayin'.

CP

Eight, out of how many?

And is that really why some of the guys are here, to hook up? I mean its not like I couldn't see how to work that angle here. My thinking though is, why bother? If I want to actually hook up with dancers I'll do it face to face in the clubs. It's so much more time efficent. I just come here to hang and shot the shit about stuff I find interesting. And what I find interesting is how people tick.

wishing well...

[3-Legged Man]

It's about time to declare this thread DEAD. Instead of interesting memories of ASS-C and associated topics, we get this pissing war. Take it outside, gentlemen!

[hockeybobby]

I don't know 3Leg....I'm finding this interesting so far, and it's all been very civil.

[mr_punk]

This site was borne from the ashes of Stripperpower, and could not be further from ass-c's mission than is metaphysically possible. If you haven't noticed, most of the guys on this site (no offense, dudes) are hockeybobbys and UtahMikes-types. I doubt they'd know a double entendre if it unzipped their pants.

ROTFLMAO..true. two totally different worlds and one with a lot more characters.

[evan_essence]

Instead of interesting memories of ASS-C and associated topics, we get this pissing war.

Really! I thought I was going to get an interesting history lesson. I was even willing to overlook any excessive boasting and obvious embellishments to hear some entertaining old war stories. I'm so disappointed.

-Ev

[Golden_Rule]

E_E, it truly was a very interesting bit o business.

More characters than you could shake any two sticks at.

[Chili Palmer]

Here's a review of Ass-con3 in Las Vegas, from the unquestioned master of LV strip clubs, LMR:

From: [email protected] (LMR)

Subject: ASSC: ASSCon-LV3, Host's Point of View

First of all, I'd like to thank everyone who actually made it out to
Las Vegas for this epic event. The following are just a few snippets
of an incredible week which, for me, actually started the monday
before ASSCon-LV3.

THE TROPHY GUY

When Jim Forte offered to take all of us ASSC'ers out to dinner prior
to ASSCon-LV3, we felt it would only be fitting that we get him a
small token of our appreciation. Should we get him some MaCallan 25
year? Well, he doesn't really drink. How about some Montecristo #2's?
No... he doesn't smoke cigars. Laps! Well, anyone can buy their own
laps anytime and that's such a personal choice anyway. So a few days
before LV3, I end up in a mom n' pop trophy shop somewhere in the Las
Vegas suburbs and start my quest for the perfect gift. Should we get
a trophy? Not sure, but too bad there aren't any naked lapper figures
they can stick on a trophy. A plaque? Yes, that's it. A plaque would
do great, but what would we put on the thing? The proprietor of the
shop figured the best thing to do was for me to write down what we
wanted on the plaque first and then we could go from there; so I wrote
the following on a sheet of paper:

A.S.S-C
Presented to
Jim Forte
In appreciation of hosting the
welcome to Las Vegas Dinner.

It was simple. The plaque looked classy. Finito, correct? Not quite.
The owner looks at the sheet and says, "ASSC? That's the usenet
newsgroup right? I read that thing all the time! Heck, I'll be at OG
on friday night!" I looked at him with my mouth open. Talk about
running into lurkers at the strangest places. Anyway, he even ended
up spending some extra time in helping me find a great piece of
clipart for the plaque. I hope Jim liked it. Thanks again for dinner!

CARA 404 / SULLI'S JACUZZI

Cara St. James, cara.net, CaraBaby ... was supposed to meet up with a
group of us early on Thursday. However, she decided to pop into
Olympic Garden to work a few hours first. After learning that working
during CES is not all that, I get a voicemail message: "I'm calling
from the Denny's on the strip, leave a voicemail at my hotel telling
me where you're gonna be." At this point, I was going to head over to
Sulli's suite at the Luxor to meet up with Bubba, Devon, DaraLynne,
Maz, Ginger, Teena, Marc182, and Tiffany. So I called her voicemail,
and it doesn't work. Uh oh. So I called information- Denny's on the
Strip please. "Sir, there are 5 Denny's on the strip." AHHHHH! Well,
lets just say there were no cute lil' Greek girls with black hair at
any of the 5 Denny's.

I end up at the Luxor, only to be paged by Cara again. "Hey, I'm back
at my hotel now!" Well, get your butt down to the Luxor!
After roaming the Luxor awhile looking for incinerator #2, I finally
head up, and walk... and walk... and man, I feel like I'm doing a
marathon. It was like 26 miles, really!, to Sulli's suite. Everybody
was there and somehow, yes, most of us ended up in the hottub. Thanks
DL and Sulli for the drinks. Oh ya, there were flashes and pictures
again. Who's camera was all this going on? That's what my campaign
manager would like to know. RING RING ... Hey, it's Cara... heh, and
she's lost downstairs. When she finally got up to the suite, we were
all about to head downstairs again to grab a bite to eat. Dyn0 and
Serena made a surprise visit as well!

LATE FOR DINNER?

If you know me, you'll know the concept of LMR-time. I can easily put
stripper time to shame. Granted, I was supposed to pick up Ginger and
Cara, thus making it LMR+stripper time. However, this time, we also
had to wait for my brother, making it LMR+LMR's brother+stripper time.
Let's just say we were about an hour late to the Jim Forte dinner
friday night. Luckily, the dinner was moving along quite slowly and
they hadn't even served up the salads yet. I started passing out the
ASSCon-LV3 badges which looked ultra cool- even on the floor as I
spilled them, which caused a nice applause in the room. Thanks to
Abnormal for the design. It took me forever to laminate and cut those
suckers tho', and Ginger and I must have snagged about 100 of the CES
badge neck loops for our own little Las Vegas event. Actually, that
was kinda fun. The CES people really looked at us funny when we kept
asking for more. Okay, back to dinner. The following were the
attendees for the dinner:

Amanda, Andy (Bub's friend), Bubba, Cara, Charlie (SPBill), Chris
Hansen (T&182), DaraLynne, Devon, Dragonfly, Dyn0, Elanna, Fixer, fkn,
Janie (Forte), JayJ, Jim Forte, Jimmy (LA lurker), Josh2000, K-9,
Kenhx, Kevin (LMR), Laar, Link, LMR, Lord Mandrake, Marc182, Marcus
Guy, Mark Green, Max (LA lurker), Mazoola, Nickuno, Pervoboy, Ren
(Xique), Rita, Saibaba, Serena, SlowpokeBill, Sullivan, Susie (PB),
Ted (LMR), Teena, Tiffany, Todd Owens (T&182), Trighap, Xique

Yes, the dinner got a lil' crazy. I don't think that restaurant ever
had gals pulling up their dresses and flashing before with cameras
going off everywhere. Bubba was in full form with collar and dogdish.
I don't know where someone would even get the remotest idea that
dancers have more fun outside of stripclubs than in 'em. Brat Princess
DaraLynne and flirty Amanda both had skirts which flew up without
notice. Beautiful ASSC'ers Ginger and Teena somehow both ended up on
the top of their booths, elevated above everyone, several times
through the evening while chatting up a storm. Tiffany and her
incredible cleav.. uh, I mean eyes. Serena looked lovely, but possibly
a bit overwhelmed. Janie kept pressing me to trade shirts with her.
Our cute as a button gal next door, Cara, popped in and out of booths
like she owned the place, and Rita, oh Rita, that gorgeous hair, the
dreamy eyes, that demure smile... wait, what was I talking about? Oh
dinner! I'm still not sure who the two LA lurkers were, but I ate
their salad and accidently drank all their wine. Oops!

OLYMPIC MADHOUSE

When we finally got into Olympic Garden friday night, I asked the
doorman how many people had asked him about the ASSC event prior to
the people with the green badges showing up. He said about 15 to 20.
Uh oh. He also said a lot of those guys left. Sorry guys... I know, I
know, we were about two hours late. How am I ever going to catch up?
Anyway, by this time the place was mobbed with CES conventioneers and
we had moved ASSCon-LV3 upstairs. The group was getting huge, and the
roster of people in addition to the people from the restaurant were as
follows:

ALS, AndyE (PDM), Borly, Corinn (Rayne), Edie, Elizabeth (Krogar),
Erip, JackF, Jay Seidel (PDM), Justphil, Kid, Krogar, Liza (PDM), LLC,
Loren (PDM), Marlow (PDM), Monique (LLC), Neil (JP), OCRob, Ook,
Pringle, Raul (LA Lurker), Rayne, Scottie (LMR), Sick66, Speedracer,
Tallguy, Tim (PDM), Zbone

This of course didn't include the people who showed and left and
whoever else I didn't know to write down.

DILDO PARADE

I hadn't even been in Olympic Garden 15 minutes when good ol' Saibaba
comes up to me with a plastic bag and starts pulling out one toy after
another. Huh? Okay okay... they said they were gonna pull something
on me, but I didn't know it was gonna be a bunch of dildos!
The Brazen Hussy, MsGinger, had gotten me this huge honkin' strap on.
The same one she used while on stage at the Chez Paree over a year
ago. Hey man, I saw her sister deep throat that thing! Marc182 and
Teena gave me this great looking cucumber, altho' she felt the size
was a bit underwhelming. Don't worry, it was enjoyable nonetheless,
and was quite fresh and crunchy. Tallguy gave me this big purple
sheath thing which someone said Kid had tried to deepthroat. Now,
don't get me wrong Kid, but I don't think that's what you were
supposed to do with it. Amanda gave me her enthusiastic Ben Wa egg.
Oh my, that thing really takes off. And Sai, well, he couldn't resist
giving me the vibrating wonder which he wrote about in one of his
posts in ASSC past. The ever so wonderful Rita gave me her
personalized Amtrak toy carefully wrapped in a pretty green scarf.
Now, at this point, the house dancers at the Garden were really
looking at me funny. Thanks for the gifts. I'll treasure each one of
them dearly.

MAIN EVENT

Where else can you see: MsGinger, DaraLynne, and Cara in compromising
straddle style positions with each other (well, besides the Hardrock
Hotel that is, but that's another story altogether). BYOD's jumping
all over everyone's laps. ALS and Edie in Las Vegas form. Non-Mock,
well, attempted non-mocks. Ahem, Sai, how are you? MsGinger spanking
SICK66 with a belt. Krogar's wife Elizabeth's eyes flip and flutter
while getting a lapdance. Ook. Just"I don't lap"Phil getting grinded
away for hours! People confuse Zbone and Laar. Managers ogle at Bubba
crawling across the floor, and of course, over 70 people with green
badges running around one of the largest strip clubs west of the
Mississippi. All this plus so much more... it was just amazing.

EPILOGUE

The whole weekend was a blur, but that's not necessarily a bad thing.
Besides, that's what pictures are for. I was where? I did what? Oh
my, it looks like I did. It was great to spend time with old friends
while making new acquaintances and solidifying new friendships. I just
wish I had more time to spend. What I wrote barely covered 5% of my
entire trip. There really was that much going on. I hope everyone had
as much fun as I did. See you all next year!

LMR

[Dirty Ernie]

Thank You for that CP. I'm a bit verklempt after reading that, I must admit. Damn near shed a tear.