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Thread: Ladies of SW, i need your halp!!! long read sorry

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    Senior Member deadbeatrec2's Avatar
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    Default Ladies of SW, i need your halp!!! long read sorry

    ok so basically im single, was in a ltr for 4.5 years and shit went sour. been single since FEB. so i was advised to join eharm. thinking to myself that its a shot at my manhood i didnt at first. then i said what the hell.

    so i met a few chicks, one im actively perusing now. so we met 5 weeks ago, had coffee and chatted for about 2 hours then i took her home. she said that if she thought i was a creep she would not have let me know where she lives.

    so date #2 (first real date) i take her out to a really nice restaurant, we eat and everything is going great. then i show her my house, she comes in and we watch tv for about 2 hours then i take her home. i ask for a little kiss, kiss her a few times and she says "o ur so cute". so overall very good night

    date #3, i told her i would help her paint her apartment. so last saturday i get there at 10am, paint almost her entire apt. it was so damn muggy and hot i was sweating like u wouldnt believe. then her mother stops by and i met her mom and step father. so im thinking, well thats out of the way. then she wants to take me out for dinner for helping her. she gets ready then we head over to my place so i can get ready. well as soon as we arrive at our destination her gets a call from her step mother saying her father has been emitted to the ER. so i take her to the hospital and drop her off. so i had planned on getting a little physical with her after dinner at my house while watching a movie but unfortunately things happened. whatever, i helped her paint (basically did it all myself), met her mother and moved a heavy microwave cart up the stairs. so i think im doing good and have a good in so far.

    so last night i text her saying,"lonely tonight?" and i got nothing back. im thinking she just didnt get it and when she did she decided not to text me back or something. im prob thinking too deep into this.

    so what i need from u ladies is....
    -was that too soon to ask to see her during the week?
    -should i try to get physical with her this weekend?
    -should i ask her how she feels about me and if she thinks we have a future?

    so far i like her a lot and i dont want to mess anything up. she is smart sexy and has a huge heart.

    im new to this dating stuff. when i was in HS and college girls flocked to me, but since then i have put on 90lbs (muscle) and seems a lot harder to get chicks. and im not looking for just any chick, i want marriage material.

    PLEASE HALP!

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    Senior Member deadbeatrec2's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ladies of SW, i need your halp!!! long read sorry

    basicly im super impatient and i want to know if she likes me and if there is a future there. is there any easy way to find/figure this out? should i wait on the physical stuff?

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    God/dess jaizaine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ladies of SW, i need your halp!!! long read sorry

    It sounds like things are going great to me. Dont worry about one text not being answered. Sometimes Im bad with writing back to texts. Maybe she is busy? She might be visiting the step dad in the hospital or anything.

    I dont believe in rules about too soon etc. Like u have to play it cool and wait to see someone. Bullshit. I like a guy to show his interest and ask to see me. So def not too soon to ask to see her IMO.

    I dont think u should ask her how she feels or if u have a future at this poiint. It's still early days and u dont want to scare her off (it might not but possibly would some people). Just play it by ear and see how it goes.

    I know it's hard going from a LTR to dating and it makes u want to just get to the comfortable stage with the new person straight away but u cant really do that and plus the dating stage can be fun too.

    As for the getting physical. Just start with the kissing again and see where it goes from there.
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    Senior Member deadbeatrec2's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ladies of SW, i need your halp!!! long read sorry

    Quote Originally Posted by jaizaine View Post
    It sounds like things are going great to me. Dont worry about one text not being answered. Sometimes Im bad with writing back to texts. Maybe she is busy? She might be visiting the step dad in the hospital or anything.

    I dont believe in rules about too soon etc. Like u have to play it cool and wait to see someone. Bullshit. I like a guy to show his interest and ask to see me. So def not too soon to ask to see her IMO.

    I dont think u should ask her how she feels or if u have a future at this poiint. It's still early days and u dont want to scare her off (it might not but possibly would some people). Just play it by ear and see how it goes.

    I know it's hard going from a LTR to dating and it makes u want to just get to the comfortable stage with the new person straight away but u cant really do that and plus the dating stage can be fun too.

    As for the getting physical. Just start with the kissing again and see where it goes from there.
    yea i def think asking her how she feels would be pressuring her too much and i def dont want to do that. i do like her a lot, she seems real and i dont want to F things up. i also want to get physical with her, and i guess only one way to find out. if she isnt into it, she will stop me, im sure of that.

    but i hate feeling like i know nothing. i want to see her and its hard. she got a DWI over the winter and she chooses not to drive right now so i drive us everywhere, which is fine but she lives in downtown albany and i live in south colonie (in other words 30 min drivein traffic) but im very willing to go see her. i am a man who needs attention, and when i dont get it i start to stress a little bit. so going this long without sex is making want to pull my hair out (if i had hair).

    its also hard owning a nice house, coming home everynight to a dude!!!! i have a roomate i found off CL and he is cool and everything but im sick of seeing his ulgy face when i should be seeing someone i care about. someone i want to just run up too and kiss. aweeee im such a fag. no emo i swear

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    God/dess Lysondra's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ladies of SW, i need your halp!!! long read sorry

    Honestly 'lonely tonight' sounds like 'wanna come over and fuck' not 'want to go out to dinner' to me when I see it on my phone.

    It sounds like it's going great but that's probably why she didn't reply to that particular text.


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    Senior Member deadbeatrec2's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ladies of SW, i need your halp!!! long read sorry

    Quote Originally Posted by Lysondra View Post
    Honestly 'lonely tonight' sounds like 'wanna come over and fuck' not 'want to go out to dinner' to me when I see it on my phone.

    It sounds like it's going great but that's probably why she didn't reply to that particular text.
    yea i def thought about that after i sent it. SHIT! texts can be so impersonable and hard to read.

    so did i ruin it?

    what should i do now? wait until tomorrow to call or even friday? i dont want her to think i dont care and like i forgot about her though

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    God/dess Lysondra's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ladies of SW, i need your halp!!! long read sorry

    No probably not. Just be more specific next time.


    Look like a woman
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    - My Great Grandmother Bessie's Recipe for Success

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    God/dess LuckyOne's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ladies of SW, i need your halp!!! long read sorry

    Quote Originally Posted by Lysondra View Post
    Honestly 'lonely tonight' sounds like 'wanna come over and fuck' not 'want to go out to dinner' to me when I see it on my phone.

    It sounds like it's going great but that's probably why she didn't reply to that particular text.
    Yup. That's exactly what it sounded like and that's exactly what it was because you said so yourself you were trying to plan for "something physical." If I were her, I would ignore a text message like this too because it really shows a lack of consideration.

    If you want to get laid, you have to at least pretend like you care about her. A message inquiring about her father's health since he's been admitted to the ER might be in order.

    But also, I think you're pushing for too much too soon. You've only been on what, a few dates? She doesn't probably know you that well or feel comfortable yet. Give her some time. Let her get used to you without being pressured for sex constantly. If she's attracted to you she'll come around, but she'll never have a chance to get comfortable if you try to jump on her every chance you get.

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    Senior Member deadbeatrec2's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ladies of SW, i need your halp!!! long read sorry

    Quote Originally Posted by LuckyOne View Post
    Yup. That's exactly what it sounded like and that's exactly what it was because you said so yourself you were trying to plan for "something physical." If I were her, I would ignore a text message like this too.

    If you want to get laid, you have to at least pretend like you care about her. A message inquiring about her father's health since he's been admitted to the ER might be in order.
    but u see all i wanted to do was see her last night, not bang her. not at all. just wanted to cuddle up to some tv or something.

    and her father is fine. was just an ear infection.

    u all may be reading me wrong here. i DO care about her. i DO want to make this work. if i wanted to just get some butt i would have went else where or tried already. thats not the case.

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    God/dess Vyanka's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ladies of SW, i need your halp!!! long read sorry

    That "lonely tonight" seems like you were asking for sex instead of asking how her and her step dad were doing. Now she's prob. thinking that you ONLY want sex.

    If I were you i'd call her to see how she and her step father are doing.

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    Senior Member deadbeatrec2's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ladies of SW, i need your halp!!! long read sorry

    luckone, im not pressureing her at all. i have asked for a kiss, thats it!

    the text last night was simply just to spend some time with her. it may have come out wrong, but that was not the intention.

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    Senior Member deadbeatrec2's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ladies of SW, i need your halp!!! long read sorry

    one step forward, 2 steps back. shit! live and learn i guess, no more texts

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    Featured Member AznExtasy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ladies of SW, i need your halp!!! long read sorry

    You're trying to meet girls to get physical with right away, and at the same time want them to be marriage material?
    "Lonely tonight?" Definitely does not set the right tone.

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    Senior Member deadbeatrec2's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ladies of SW, i need your halp!!! long read sorry

    Quote Originally Posted by AznExtasy View Post
    You're trying to meet girls to get physical with right away, and at the same time want them to be marriage material?
    "Lonely tonight?" Definitely does not set the right tone.
    not to be a dick but where did u read in anything above that says im trying to meet girls to get physical with? u didnt because i didnt say that.

    i said......
    Quote Originally Posted by deadbeatrec2 View Post
    u all may be reading me wrong here. i DO care about her. i DO want to make this work. if i wanted to just get some butt i would have went else where or tried already. thats not the case.

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    God/dess Vyanka's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ladies of SW, i need your halp!!! long read sorry

    On that note, this is why I hate it when men text. No offense.

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    Default Re: Ladies of SW, i need your halp!!! long read sorry

    If you want to know what's up, ask her? I mean, you want marriage material, but you go to SW to ask about a simple miscommunication? You need to learn to communicate because it's the only way you find out what you want to know.
    Apologize to her in a phone call, tell her you felt stupid after you sent the text because you realize it sounded bad and all you wanted to do was something nice like take her to dinner or something innocent.

    Ask her how her dad is, and how she is. Basically apologize and explain yourself quickly, and then move on and stop dwelling. If it was an innocent faux paus, then there's no reason to keep feeling uncomfortable about it. If you are, she'll start to wonder why you're still hung up on it if it really was just a mix up.

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    Senior Member deadbeatrec2's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ladies of SW, i need your halp!!! long read sorry

    Quote Originally Posted by UltraViolet View Post
    If you want to know what's up, ask her? I mean, you want marriage material, but you go to SW to ask about a simple miscommunication? You need to learn to communicate because it's the only way you find out what you want to know.
    Apologize to her in a phone call, tell her you felt stupid after you sent the text because you realize it sounded bad and all you wanted to do was something nice like take her to dinner or something innocent.

    Ask her how her dad is, and how she is. Basically apologize and explain yourself quickly, and then move on and stop dwelling. If it was an innocent faux paus, then there's no reason to keep feeling uncomfortable about it. If you are, she'll start to wonder why you're still hung up on it if it really was just a mix up.
    this is exactly what i was going to do.

    call her tonight say, i dont know how u took that text last night but i was just wondering if u wanted to get together for a bite to eat or something. then move on like u said. should i call tonight though? i think tomorrow night she is going out with the girls so its either tonight or friday.

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    Default Re: Ladies of SW, i need your halp!!! long read sorry

    Sure. Why not? You like her, then call her.

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    Featured Member *Iris*'s Avatar
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    Default Re: Ladies of SW, i need your halp!!! long read sorry

    Stop texting and start calling. I always hated when I was single and guys would text me .

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    Senior Member deadbeatrec2's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ladies of SW, i need your halp!!! long read sorry

    so recap of thread

    -dont text women u like
    -dont try anything physical just yet, wait for the signs
    -call to apologise tonight explaining how u are an asshat and how u did it wrong
    -hope she doesnt cut u off
    -slap said self in face for being such a newb!

    thanks ladies! any other advice? i would love to hear from the oposite sex on my situation and what the next step would be. anything will help.

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    Default Re: Ladies of SW, i need your halp!!! long read sorry

    Good recap

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    Default Re: Ladies of SW, i need your halp!!! long read sorry

    I wouldnt even bother mentioning the text in the call. Just be like, "Oh hey wanna go out to dinner?"

    If a guy got all stumbley over his words about the previous night's intentions, I'd worry.


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    Featured Member *Iris*'s Avatar
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    Default Re: Ladies of SW, i need your halp!!! long read sorry

    Quote Originally Posted by deadbeatrec2 View Post
    so recap of thread

    -dont text women u like
    -dont try anything physical just yet, wait for the signs
    -call to apologise tonight explaining how u are an asshat and how u did it wrong
    -hope she doesnt cut u off
    -slap said self in face for being such a newb!

    thanks ladies! any other advice? i would love to hear from the oposite sex on my situation and what the next step would be. anything will help.
    Bring her some flowers!!! Just sayin I love flowers.

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    Senior Member deadbeatrec2's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ladies of SW, i need your halp!!! long read sorry

    Quote Originally Posted by *Iris* View Post
    Bring her some flowers!!! Just sayin I love flowers.
    see i was thinking this......... but do u think thats creepy? and what type of flowers? how many ect ect.

    she likes red wine so i was thinking about getting her a bottle of the red wine (cant spell it) manogetwa, aka 3 some. but thought the name and the fact that i was brining her alky, she might again get the wrong idea about my intentions.

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    Featured Member *Iris*'s Avatar
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    Default Re: Ladies of SW, i need your halp!!! long read sorry

    Quote Originally Posted by deadbeatrec2 View Post
    see i was thinking this......... but do u think thats creepy? and what type of flowers? how many ect ect.

    she likes red wine so i was thinking about getting her a bottle of the red wine (cant spell it) manogetwa, aka 3 some. but thought the name and the fact that i was brining her alky, she might again get the wrong idea about my intentions.
    I don't know what her fave flower is ummm I guess some pink roses. The red wine is fine I doubt she will think that you are trying to get in her pants. You know I could give you all this advise but im guessing im diffrent than the norm because I don't care about when guys try to get in my pants.

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