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Thread: First Confrontation

  1. #1
    Veteran Member Electrum's Avatar
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    Thumbs down First Confrontation

    Well, I played it cool, but apparently I really pissed off another girl. I made the mistake of assuming she was an easy going girl- most girls I've danced with don't mind if you sit next to "their" guy if it's a slow day and you're not trying to steal them or anything. So I approached this dude and asked if he already had a lady, he said yes but that I could sit and chat until she got back from stage. I didn't think twice because like I said, I thought the stripper was an easy going chick and my only intention was conversation.

    Well the seemingly easy going stripper turned into stripperzilla after I sat down. She actually started yelling at me from the stage! lol! I wasn't about to start a fight; I really like her and honestly meant no disrespect. Well shit, she just kept on yelling at me from stage! I didn't even know what to do, so I stood up and approached her and apologized. She just kept on going- so I left to sit by myself and try to let her cool down.

    I think she intimidated the customer, but I wasn't about to go back and talk to him after she left his table lol. The whole thing was just an accident, but I don't know what to do really...

    She works there constantly so I don't wanna be on her bad side. I don't know what else to do, though, since I already apologized and I'm not sure if she cares or believes me. I didn't even try explaining my reasoning because I'm aware that wouldn't matter... SO- I'm not sure what to do next time I see her. I'm guessing I'll just stay clear, but I almost feel like I should try and explain myself... Hmmm... No idea.. any advice would be appreciated! (It's such a small club it will be hard to avoid her keep in mind.)

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Lysondra
    I had previously stuck the bananas and cucumber in my cooter, yes.

  2. #2
    Veteran Member golden41's Avatar
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    Default Re: First Confrontation

    Just try to let it blow over. Dont mention it but if she does then explain yourself. If she is eazy goin she will probably forget about and was just possesive over him for some reason.

  3. #3
    Featured Member *Iris*'s Avatar
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    Default Re: First Confrontation

    Just avoid her she sounds really immature and to be screaming at you from stage for talking to "her" customer? Ewww . I wouldn't even try to be friends with someone like that.

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    Veteran Member winterrose's Avatar
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    Default Re: First Confrontation

    give it a few days to cool off. In the meantime, just be nice.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
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    Veteran Member Laylalust's Avatar
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    Default Re: First Confrontation

    Blah. Since having my first drama with another dancer that I thought I was cool with I've decided to stop trying to be nice or friendly to anyone. Mind on my money and my money on my mind, nothing else.

    I understand how it'd be hard to avoid her in a small club, I'm in the same situation. Hopefully it'll just blow over. Just continue to be nice.


    "Lying's the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off...but it's better if you do."

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    Featured Member txchick008's Avatar
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    Default Re: First Confrontation

    Quote Originally Posted by Electrum View Post
    She actually started yelling at me from the stage! lol!
    Wow. Was she insecure much??
    Sounds like something......nevermind.....
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    God/dess cinammonkisses's Avatar
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    Default Re: First Confrontation

    Quote Originally Posted by winterrose View Post
    give it a few days to cool off. In the meantime, just be nice.
    Yeah, that's what I'm thinking too.







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    Veteran Member Sauske's Avatar
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    Default Re: First Confrontation

    my first confrontation was getting slammed into a locker lol

  9. #9
    AlexxaHex
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    Default Re: First Confrontation

    I guess I'm not understanding why you feel like it's your responsibility to do anything. If anything, you would be justified in being angry with her for yelling at you. I wouldn't be so nice if someone decided to raise their voice at me. You owe her nothing, and she was immature and acting out of line. What she doesn't understand is that the customer can choose to spend money on anyone he wants to and she is not entitled to that money. I wish these child-women would grow the fuck up.

  10. #10
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    Default Re: First Confrontation

    Well she's obviously an aggressive approach person. There's a couple of ways to deal with things like this -

    Passively - By apologising in front of everyone, and pretending she was in the right. By acting deferential you gain no respect - this is what you did, and it has only let her know now that you are an easy target. Also, this does nothing to calm a person down, often it just fuels the fire as they realise they have publicly humiliated you and often continue to yell to increase their power.

    You - "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do anything wrong"

    Aggressive response - "You will be sorry" or "Yeah right, like I believe that"

    You defer power, they accept your power, and continue to be aggressive.

    *****************

    Assertively - By calmly explaining (without apologising, you did nothing wrong) that YOU chose to sit here, as YOU are allowed and that YOU are going to continue to do so and that YOU are only doing so for company, not a dance. The emphasis to this is YOU taking ownership of your rights and power. Granted she won't be happy, and might yell again, that's when you calmly tell her she's making a fool of herself and that you are going to continue doing what you want with or without her approval.

    You - "I felt I needed company and this kind man is providing it. I have no intention of taking your dance, nor do I have any intention of moving away from here either. Now, I'm going to continue my conversation, with or without your approval and I'd take it as a favour if you'd continue with entertaining us all with your great dancing."

    Usually they shut up after a very powerful response.

    **********************************

    Aggressive - Everyone knows what this is, and it isn't wise unless you know you'll always be best off in the fight. Now unless you can have the Hell's Angels backing you up in a matter of minutes, you probably shouldn't try it. You never know if she's a psychopath or if she has contacts.

  11. #11
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    Default Re: First Confrontation

    i used to work in the tiniest club most customers asked if it was the smallest in the world, well anyway a man was sat with two girls and he went to draw monney out with his card he was speaking wih the owner and waved me over and gave me money for dances and the fugly dwarf he was sat wih came yelling over at me'never ever do that to me again' some people have no logic and no reasoning, they show themselves to make themselves feel better, she didnt give me chance o answer and ran off o the toilet i told the owner to sort her out and was laughing at her all night to the doormen x

  12. #12
    Veteran Member davka's Avatar
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    Default Re: First Confrontation

    yeah fuck her. you can't claim customers. all customers are open game if they aren't talking to any other girls. i was making big money off a guy once and as soon as I went on stage, this girl sat down next to him and closed the sale. I wasn't mad. I couldn't be. That's the way the game goes. She had no right to yell at you and if she yelled on stage, she is a fucking moron. Holy shit she embarassed herself.
    Originally Posted by ViolaStrings
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  13. #13
    Veteran Member kikidejavu's Avatar
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    Default Re: First Confrontation

    dont try to be nice, youll just look like a suck up. giving her the ammunition she needs to paint you as a weak bitch to be walked over. just dont talk to her, jump in on her conversations or say anything to her. youll regret it later, when alll her friends start picking on you too.
    she is clearly irrational, and unprofessional. you cant reason with people like this.
    "We are the coolest mothafuckas on the planet....The sky is fallin ain't no need to panic"... -Outkast

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    Featured Member MsClaireVoyant's Avatar
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    Default Re: First Confrontation

    "yeah fuck her. you can't claim customers. all customers are open game if they aren't talking to any other girls."

    This is what I was going to say, how is it "her" customer. Aren't you entitled to try and hustle him yourself? I can see if she was already talking to him and you walked up and butted in or something but that is just bullshit. Fair game, IMO. And if the bitch yelled at me that would be the last time I'd be friendly with her. I'm not an aggressive person but I sure as hell am not passive either and I wouldn't take that shit.



  15. #15
    Veteran Member Electrum's Avatar
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    Default Re: First Confrontation

    I worked with this chick for the first time in a long time a couple of weeks ago. She didn't even act like anything happened. She might have been on something. She's very moody! I've been getting to know and be friendly with most of the girls there, but she's just something else... She hasn't started any shit with me, though, and if she tries yelling at me again I wont take it. Now that I know more of the girls there I'm not worried about who's toes I'm stepping on.

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Lysondra
    I had previously stuck the bananas and cucumber in my cooter, yes.

  16. #16
    Featured Member goreantx's Avatar
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    Default Re: First Confrontation

    I've also noticed that some customers go crazy nuts over being fought over and try and create these situations. I had one that managed to get two girls pissed off at me (one was giving me death threats) and I finally realized he was just getting off on feeling so darned special...

    My motto, ho's before uh.. those? (better work on making that sound better)

  17. #17
    Featured Member MsClaireVoyant's Avatar
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    Default Re: First Confrontation

    I just plan on keeping my head down and not talking to anyone too much. I have a really hard time getting to know people, it takes months for me to become friends with coworkers usually, unless they make a huge effort with me.



  18. #18
    Veteran Member davka's Avatar
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    Default Re: First Confrontation

    ho's before those!
    Originally Posted by ViolaStrings
    I get turned around when my boyfriend does the helicockter. I'm totally visual.

    http://www.davkadeergirl.com


  19. #19
    goldengrl69
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    Default Re: First Confrontation

    Davka you are too funny!

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