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Thread: My club welcomed me quitting after I was assaulted and they did nothing

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    God/dess ViolaStrings's Avatar
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    Default My club welcomed me quitting after I was assaulted and they did nothing

    Tonight, I was in VIP with two other dancers, three guys. We were paid for an hour. The guy I was with was handsy, but mostly controllable. The waitress came to announce our hour was up, and the paying guy didn't want to renew. The guy I was sitting with heard out time was up, and lunged over and bit my nipple HARD. Another dancer was witness to this. I was completely taken aback. I screamed at him "How could you?! That's horrible!" I have a mark, but the skin isn't broken. I'm still going to the doctor to make sure it's ok - human bites are FILTHY.

    So... the waitress was pissed at me because we didn't milk them for a tip for her (she did NOTHING for us but bring drinks, she didn't try to upsell another hour or get us tipped), she only got a measly $100 . The manager didn't have them thrown out because he didn't want them to dispute the drink tab on his credit card. He let them stay and finish their bottle of champagne, assuring me they would leave after that, then let them order another and gave them the green light to stay because they were spending money. The housemom basically told me that I was completely oversensitive, and shouldn't be upset that I was assaulted. The moral of the story is, customers are allowed to assault dancers as much as they want if it's in proportion to the money they're spending.


    These are some excerpts from the ensuing drama.

    Random trashy dancers: "Man, I would let someone bite my nipple for $500!" "You bring those guys back to VIP, they're entitled to bite you if they want"

    Housemom: "I worked in an office, and my boss made me have sex to keep my job - you should be glad that's all that happened to you!" "The skin isn't broken, there's nothing we can do about it" "Go on, quit, you'll be back... but we might not re-hire you!" "You should be more worried about getting raped and murdered in the parking lot!" "Why didn't you beat the shit out of him?!"

    Manager, Bouncers: "What were you doing with your nipple that close to his face? You were doing SOMETHING wrong for that to happen" "Good, quit, you do nothing but complain anyways"

    So I quit. Finally. I'm going to audition at other clubs tomorrow night, and probably will end up working at the "classy" place downtown. Fuck that place. I'm never going back.

    I wasn't hurt most by what he did to me, I was hurt most by the fact that no one had my back... and I was made to feel crazy for being hurt.
    Last edited by ViolaStrings; 09-12-2008 at 01:03 AM.

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    Veteran Member JDanielle's Avatar
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    Default Re: My club welcomed me quitting after I was assaulted and they did nothing

    I hate the mindset that if a guy is spending money, he is 'entitled' to ANYTHING. It's disgusting and it happens enough with customers. I'm appalled another dancer said that to you.
    "Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company."
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    God/dess ViolaStrings's Avatar
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    Default Re: My club welcomed me quitting after I was assaulted and they did nothing

    ^ not only did the dancer say that, but the housemom and managers did, too.

    I was crying and other dancers were making fun of me for not being tough Sorry, I still have a soul!

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    Default Re: My club welcomed me quitting after I was assaulted and they did nothing

    This reminds me of the time an indian guy jammed his dry finger up my ass.Out of reflex I punched him right in the eye. I got in trouble for assaultng him, they gave him free passes for entrance next time and told me " next time that happens you should just charge double". I left and never went back.

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    Featured Member CherryBomb954's Avatar
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    Default Re: My club welcomed me quitting after I was assaulted and they did nothing

    Quote Originally Posted by ViolaStrings View Post
    ^ not only did the dancer say that, but the housemom and managers did, too.

    I was crying and other dancers were making fun of me for not being tough Sorry, I still have a soul!


    Ugh. That is my most hated hated thing in this business. "Oh, you're being too sensitive"....OK maybe in some situations but not when I am physically assaulted. Like the time I had a guy SHOVE his fingers into me forcefully, I pushed him, called in the managers.....was crying too....NO comfort. All I got was "You need to toughen up"

    I mean fuck, I know a tough skin is a necessity in this business, but where do you draw the line???

    I'm sorry, VS. Go get a job somewhere else and fuck those bastards.

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    Featured Member hot4ablackchick's Avatar
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    Default Re: My club welcomed me quitting after I was assaulted and they did nothing

    That is seriously fucked up. I am so sorry that happened to you, and no you don't need to "toughen up." I hate that we are immune to assault because we are dancers. If a guy bit my nipple it would hurt tremendously because they are very sensitive. The housemom and other dancers are bitches. I hope you like your new club.
    CARMEN IS HOTT 4 A BLACK CHICK!!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by ViolaStrings View Post
    Why does he have a headset on his head, like Janet Jackson or some shit?
    Quote Originally Posted by Emily View Post
    why does Janet Jackson have a headset on her head?!

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    Default Re: My club welcomed me quitting after I was assaulted and they did nothing

    The sad thing is that at your new club, there will still be the same policy. The more you spend, the more you can harass the staff and dancers.

    So I would just go where the money is because they don't have your back anywhere.

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    Default Re: My club welcomed me quitting after I was assaulted and they did nothing

    That is so wrong on so many levels I don't even know where to start.



    Hope you're OK.

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    Default Re: My club welcomed me quitting after I was assaulted and they did nothing

    The guy probably "stole" that bite because most dancers give more than you did for $500. If you don't want to give as much as the others, don't go into VIP on that premise. They have expectations for going into VIP, and he was disappointed wiht the service.

    Let them know beforehand what you do in VIP, then there won't be any question.

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    God/dess Emily's Avatar
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    Default Re: My club welcomed me quitting after I was assaulted and they did nothing

    Quote Originally Posted by erotictonic View Post
    The guy probably "stole" that bite because most dancers give more than you did for $500. If you don't want to give as much as the others, don't go into VIP on that premise. They have expectations for going into VIP, and he was disappointed wiht the service.

    Let them know beforehand what you do in VIP, then there won't be any question.
    are you really trying to make the customer out to be the victim?!

    Unless I missed something, I didn't see anything saying she promised him more than any other dancer, or more than she was willing to do.

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    God/dess erotictonic's Avatar
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    Default Re: My club welcomed me quitting after I was assaulted and they did nothing

    Quote Originally Posted by Emily View Post
    are you really trying to make the customer out to be the victim?!

    Unless I missed something, I didn't see anything saying she promised him more than any other dancer, or more than she was willing to do.
    Guys go in with expectations...

    It's the dancer's responsibility to know beforehand what the guy expects before going in.
    I'm not saying the guy's reaction was right. I'm saying that I think I know why he did what he did. He felt jilted. That doesn't make his reaction to what he felt or thought right by me. The right thing to do would've been to explain that he went in with higher expectations, because that's what the other girls do, if he didn't plan beforehand. The preferred thing to do would be to ask beforehand what he was going to get. That's why you lay the cards out on the table before you enter the situation, and that is both party's responsibility. Because then, when the manager says something, you can say that you went into the situation with his knowledge that there was to be no touching or licking, which was in general expected out of the more "trashy" (not that I agree with that opinion) dancers, and probably, in general.

    No matter what, take responsibility for whatever happens. That's the way to learn and become better at whatever you do. If you go around in the world blaming everyone else for everything that happens, you never learn what you can improve on.... It's about learning to win, not learning to blame and therefore lose. So you got an offhand lick... what can you learn from the situation besides, "I've been assaulted and they were against me!" Why were you "assaulted", and how can you avoid it in the future? The environment is what it is, learn to adapt and win, not fight it and lose. (And I'm not saying I ever did that in the past lol).

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    Featured Member hot4ablackchick's Avatar
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    Default Re: My club welcomed me quitting after I was assaulted and they did nothing

    Quote Originally Posted by erotictonic View Post
    Guys go in with expectations...

    It's the dancer's responsibility to know beforehand what the guy expects before going in.
    I'm not saying the guy's reaction was right. I'm saying that I think I know why he did what he did. He felt jilted. That doesn't make his reaction to what he felt or thought right by me. The right thing to do would've been to explain that he went in with higher expectations, because that's what the other girls do, if he didn't plan beforehand. The preferred thing to do would be to ask beforehand what he was going to get. That's why you lay the cards out on the table before you enter the situation, and that is both party's responsibility. Because then, when the manager says something, you can say that you went into the situation with his knowledge that there was to be no touching or licking, which was in general expected out of the more "trashy" (not that I agree with that opinion) dancers, and probably, in general.

    No matter what, take responsibility for whatever happens. That's the way to learn and become better at whatever you do. If you go around in the world blaming everyone else for everything that happens, you never learn what you can improve on.... It's about learning to win, not learning to blame and therefore lose. So you got an offhand lick... what can you learn from the situation besides, "I've been assaulted and they were against me!" Why were you "assaulted", and how can you avoid it in the future? The environment is what it is, learn to adapt and win, not fight it and lose. (And I'm not saying I ever did that in the past lol).
    No matter what the situation is, we can always count on some tool chiming in with irrelevant advice. She wasn't licked, she was bitten and it HURT her. Being licked is totally different than being bitten. He did it because he didn't care and he was an asshole. Totally not her fault. Even laying everything out before a dance won't change asshole custies and is stupid IMO. I tell guys not to touch and they touch anyway. Some are just going to see what they can get away with regardless of what you say. Is she suppossed to have a list of no no's before going into a VIP??? Ridiculous. I also just love how you put assaulted in quotations as in allegedly or not really. Biting someone is fucking assault. The OP even said, it wasn't so much the bite, but everyone had a "fucking get over it, no biggie" attitude. Good job letting assholes run all over the club assaulting dancers. I just love how some blame the victim.........
    Last edited by hot4ablackchick; 09-12-2008 at 05:35 AM.
    CARMEN IS HOTT 4 A BLACK CHICK!!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by ViolaStrings View Post
    Why does he have a headset on his head, like Janet Jackson or some shit?
    Quote Originally Posted by Emily View Post
    why does Janet Jackson have a headset on her head?!

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    Default Re: My club welcomed me quitting after I was assaulted and they did nothing

    ^^ If the douchebag in question had a problem, he could have easily voiced his opinion as opposed to BITING her.

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    Senior Member LadyM's Avatar
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    Default Re: My club welcomed me quitting after I was assaulted and they did nothing

    Quote Originally Posted by erotictonic View Post
    Guys go in with expectations...

    It's the dancer's responsibility to know beforehand what the guy expects before going in.
    I'm not saying the guy's reaction was right. I'm saying that I think I know why he did what he did. He felt jilted. That doesn't make his reaction to what he felt or thought right by me. The right thing to do would've been to explain that he went in with higher expectations, because that's what the other girls do, if he didn't plan beforehand. The preferred thing to do would be to ask beforehand what he was going to get. That's why you lay the cards out on the table before you enter the situation, and that is both party's responsibility. Because then, when the manager says something, you can say that you went into the situation with his knowledge that there was to be no touching or licking, which was in general expected out of the more "trashy" (not that I agree with that opinion) dancers, and probably, in general.

    No matter what, take responsibility for whatever happens. That's the way to learn and become better at whatever you do. If you go around in the world blaming everyone else for everything that happens, you never learn what you can improve on.... It's about learning to win, not learning to blame and therefore lose. So you got an offhand lick... what can you learn from the situation besides, "I've been assaulted and they were against me!" Why were you "assaulted", and how can you avoid it in the future? The environment is what it is, learn to adapt and win, not fight it and lose. (And I'm not saying I ever did that in the past lol).
    You are beyond stupid and a discredit to women everywhere if you are female.
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    Default Re: My club welcomed me quitting after I was assaulted and they did nothing

    Oh, I agree that sometimes things will happen that are out of your control no matter what you do, and those are things to accept and not be angered by when it happens. That comes with the job. There are also signs that a guy is "one of those guys" that are willing to go beyond what I think is right... and I would look for those signs. (although a good portion of strip club visitors do violate what I personally think is right by me, as do dancers).

    BUT, at the same time, accepting responsibility for your part, which IS defining what will be happening beforehand in VIP is also important for one's own self and well-being. I wouldn't go into VIP without an agreement at this point.

    No one is a victim, as long as one knows what they are in for and accepts that. And you are right, she was bitten and not licked.... but I am really not seeing the big difference there. Besides a small mark that will heal, she's not really in any danger...

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    Default Re: My club welcomed me quitting after I was assaulted and they did nothing

    Quote Originally Posted by StarryEyes View Post
    ^^ If the douchebag in question had a problem, he could have easily voiced his opinion as opposed to BITING her.
    Ummm, I believe I already said that would be the right thing to do....

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    Senior Member LadyM's Avatar
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    Default Re: My club welcomed me quitting after I was assaulted and they did nothing

    Quote Originally Posted by erotictonic View Post
    Oh, I agree that sometimes things will happen that are out of your control no matter what you do, and those are things to accept and not be angered by when it happens. That comes with the job. There are also signs that a guy is "one of those guys" that are willing to go beyond what I think is right... and I would look for those signs. (although a good portion of strip club visitors do violate what I personally think is right by me, as do dancers).

    BUT, at the same time, accepting responsibility for your part, which IS defining what will be happening beforehand in VIP is also important for one's own self and well-being. I wouldn't go into VIP without an agreement at this point.

    No one is a victim, as long as one knows what they are in for and accepts that. And you are right, she was bitten and not licked.... but I am really not seeing the big difference there. Besides a small mark that will heal, she's not really in any danger...
    Yup, beyond stupid. Do you tell rape victims, 'hey, you were just forced to have sex. You weren't really hurt.'
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    Default Re: My club welcomed me quitting after I was assaulted and they did nothing

    I cannot stand how managers allow shit like that to go on. They even allow it when the custies are NOT spending! It's such BS, and I find the classier the club the more managers go by "customer is always right" bullshit. They always want to be polite and politically correct. It's bs.

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    Default Re: My club welcomed me quitting after I was assaulted and they did nothing

    Quote Originally Posted by erotictonic View Post
    The guy probably "stole" that bite because most dancers give more than you did for $500. If you don't want to give as much as the others, don't go into VIP on that premise. They have expectations for going into VIP, and he was disappointed wiht the service.

    Let them know beforehand what you do in VIP, then there won't be any question.
    Wow, you are kidding right? I am assuming this is a very upscale club, so of course the VIP is going to be pricy, because the quality of the girls and the club in general is better. The guy knew he was at a strip club not a brothel, if he wanted a cheaper VIP experience I am sure there are several other clubs around where he could have gotten it for cheaper (ex Deja Vu- home of the horribly exploitive 150 dollar half hour (100 on thursdays, horrible)) If he wanted a hooker I am sure he could have gone on craigslist and fucked some homeless drug addict for cheaper.

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    Default Re: My club welcomed me quitting after I was assaulted and they did nothing

    Quote Originally Posted by LadyM View Post
    You are beyond stupid and a discredit to women everywhere if you are female.
    Do you think we could just simply disagree without throwing insults?

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    Default Re: My club welcomed me quitting after I was assaulted and they did nothing

    Quote Originally Posted by LadyM View Post
    Yup, beyond stupid. Do you tell rape victims, 'hey, you were just forced to have sex. You weren't really hurt?'
    Agreed. I hope she does NOT have children.

    If I am ever raped I will be sure to take her advice and make it my fault as I know it is impossible to be a victim and I've had sex before, hundreds of times, so its not as if I am "really hurt" and can't "heal" No biggie. Moron.
    CARMEN IS HOTT 4 A BLACK CHICK!!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by ViolaStrings View Post
    Why does he have a headset on his head, like Janet Jackson or some shit?
    Quote Originally Posted by Emily View Post
    why does Janet Jackson have a headset on her head?!

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    Default Re: My club welcomed me quitting after I was assaulted and they did nothing

    Quote Originally Posted by llamagirl View Post
    Wow, you are kidding right? I am assuming this is a very upscale club, so of course the VIP is going to be pricy, because the quality of the girls and the club in general is better. The guy knew he was at a strip club not a brothel, if he wanted a cheaper VIP experience I am sure there are several other clubs around where he could have gotten it for cheaper (ex Deja Vu- home of the horribly exploitive 150 dollar half hour (100 on thursdays, horrible)) If he wanted a hooker I am sure he could have gone on craigslist and fucked some homeless drug addict for cheaper.
    I am basing my ideas on the fact that she has already been alerted there are other girls in the club who Would let their breasts be bitten for $500. It's the dancers Responsibility to Know what goes on in VIP. It's the dancers responsibility to let the customer know what he is going to get in VIP, especially if he is spending that kind of money. End of story. Life is not a free ride with no responsibilities. Dancers are providing a service. If he can get a girl to let him bite her tit for $500, why should he pay one who won't? And that's how they think.... It's best to know your customer.

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    Default Re: My club welcomed me quitting after I was assaulted and they did nothing

    Quote Originally Posted by erotictonic View Post
    Guys go in with expectations...

    It's the dancer's responsibility to know beforehand what the guy expects before going in.
    I'm not saying the guy's reaction was right. I'm saying that I think I know why he did what he did. He felt jilted. That doesn't make his reaction to what he felt or thought right by me. The right thing to do would've been to explain that he went in with higher expectations, because that's what the other girls do, if he didn't plan beforehand. The preferred thing to do would be to ask beforehand what he was going to get. That's why you lay the cards out on the table before you enter the situation, and that is both party's responsibility. Because then, when the manager says something, you can say that you went into the situation with his knowledge that there was to be no touching or licking, which was in general expected out of the more "trashy" (not that I agree with that opinion) dancers, and probably, in general.

    No matter what, take responsibility for whatever happens. That's the way to learn and become better at whatever you do. If you go around in the world blaming everyone else for everything that happens, you never learn what you can improve on.... It's about learning to win, not learning to blame and therefore lose. So you got an offhand lick... what can you learn from the situation besides, "I've been assaulted and they were against me!" Why were you "assaulted", and how can you avoid it in the future? The environment is what it is, learn to adapt and win, not fight it and lose. (And I'm not saying I ever did that in the past lol).
    No it's not...the dancer's responsibility is to DANCE, that is all. Again, she works at a strip club, not a brothel. If a guy is expecting more than that then he totally deserves to be ripped off. Also, even if she was an extras girl, had the guy asked, she wouldnt be able to answer without risking getting arrested so I dont know what fantasy strip clubs youve been to but at most clubs there are rules that you cannot discuss any type of extras in exchange for money or you could get arrested for prostitution. So not only is it difficult to "lay the cards out before hand" its ILLEGAL just to talk about it. And it wasnt a lick, it was a bite, and a hard one at that. I am sure if a dancer bit you somewhere super sensitive hard you wouldnt see it as a "learning experience." PS- cheap ass guys like you are the reason why dancers often try to trick men to go into the VIP by implying that they will do "extra." Guys like you are what make stripping suck. I suggest you never step foot in a strip club ever again, it would save a lot of dancers in your town a lot of headache.

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    Default Re: My club welcomed me quitting after I was assaulted and they did nothing

    Quote Originally Posted by hot4ablackchick View Post
    Agreed. I hope she does NOT have children.

    If I am ever raped I will be sure to take her advice and make it my fault as I know it is impossible to be a victim and I've had sex before, hundreds of times, so its not as if I am "really hurt" and can't "heal" No biggie. Moron.
    If you don't want these types of things to happen, don't dance. It will happen on occasion, regardless of how smart or good you are. Accept that it comes with the job. That doesn't make it right that it happens, it just makes it the truth.

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    Default Re: My club welcomed me quitting after I was assaulted and they did nothing

    Quote Originally Posted by llamagirl View Post
    No it's not...the dancer's responsibility is to DANCE, that is all. Again, she works at a strip club, not a brothel. If a guy is expecting more than that then he totally deserves to be ripped off. Also, even if she was an extras girl, had the guy asked, she wouldnt be able to answer without risking getting arrested so I dont know what fantasy strip clubs youve been to but at most clubs there are rules that you cannot discuss any type of extras in exchange for money or you could get arrested for prostitution. So not only is it difficult to "lay the cards out before hand" its ILLEGAL just to talk about it.
    It depends on the club.... you are right. But in this particular club, it sounds like the other girls are willing to do more, considering that they told her they were. If she isn't willing to do ANYthing or less, then tell them in advance, discreetly. That isn't against the law anywhere. There are always ways to skate around the law to get what you want done.

    Guys are going to expect the norm. If you are unwilling to give that, expect consequences. That's all. It isn't rocket science.

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