hey lover poos! sooo my account is fixed and i just wanted to throw a little update out there.
first off - xoxoxoxo times a million to those of you who sent messages through my friends! it's nice to feel loveddarcy, meangirl, and desavirsire, thank you for letting me vent and whine and cry and also passing those messages along. jaizaine, too!
so. what else. i'm taking some time off my life, kind of. things have taken a really big turn and i've made some changes. i started seeing a therapist who i think is absolutely excellent, and i honestly see progress in my thought patterns already. i went from wanting to leave my day job to absolutely falling in love with the kid i've started working with recently. today i had a flower pot thrown at my head (i ducked! it shattered all over the floor) and i can still say that i love my job and i think he's one awesome dude. i'd be considering full time there if the pay wasnt so crappy.
on the other hand, i want to stop dancing. i don't know what changed for me but i went from being sad when i considered stopping to practically jumping for joy at the thought of time off. i'm finishing out this week and then starting with a 2 week break. i told my manager i'm super burned out and i don't know where it came from, but i went from being a hard hustler to someone who wants to leave early every night and dreads going in. i'm having some crazy work related anxiety, too. so.. after 2 weeks i'll re-evaluate and see where i'm going to go from there. i don't see myself being financially ready to give it up but i'm hoping to be able to clear my head and at least figure some things out.
i met a guy. a really good, amazing guy. one who doesnt mind my dancing and makes me happier than i've been in a very long time. it's brand new so i kind of don't want to talk about it (except to those of you who i'm not posting to in public). i'm scared but trying to just go with the flow.. he's truly a good one this time guys
he's a keeper. turns out i've known his cousin since i was 15 and i went to high school with his brother in law. i told my mom about him, and i dont EVER do that! it's true that good things happen when you arent even looking. but that's all i want to say about that, and i dont know how long i'll even leave this part up because i just feel strange posting about it on the internet.
i was in a super bad place a few weeks ago. i sank into a really bad depression. i'm working through that. i have my issues. we all do. ive been drinking a lot and taking pills and just messing with myself in unhealthy ways. it's a bad idea. i don't recommend it. i'm working on it.
i hesitate to mention this, but i figured i will anyway since i havent ever not spoken my mind before. but guys.. dont come on here and play the morals police or anything, please. i'm simply sharing an experience. i got pulled over the other night for speeding. the first thing they thought was that i was drinking. luckily i had not had so much as a single drink at work that night. but that was enough for me to not ever ever ever ever ever even consider it again. never. just wanted to put it out there.
anywayyyyyyy.. i just wanted to say hi and let you guys in on how i'm doing in case you caredi dont know how often i'll be around (yeah yeah we all say that) depending what my decision on dancing is (new guy has even told me he doesnt want to talk to me when i'm at work because i seem like a different person because i'm so unhappy) and my outlook on it isn't too great right now so i don't know how positive the things i bring to the table with a stripping related site would be. not to mention the extra time i've had lately! though ive been spending much more on myspace, haha. got a little boring though.. but now i'm just rambling.



darcy, meangirl, and desavirsire, thank you for letting me vent and whine and cry and also passing those messages along. jaizaine, too!
). i'm scared but trying to just go with the flow.. he's truly a good one this time guys
he's a keeper. turns out i've known his cousin since i was 15 and i went to high school with his brother in law. i told my mom about him, and i dont EVER do that! it's true that good things happen when you arent even looking. but that's all i want to say about that, and i dont know how long i'll even leave this part up because i just feel strange posting about it on the internet.
Reply With Quote



Bookmarks