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Thread: Money for Babies?

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    Default Money for Babies?

    My boyfriend's mom wants grandchildren to carry on the "family name." My boyfriend will be the last one with his maternal grandfather's name.
    She offered to pay him 10 grand for every grandchild.

    I'm really put off by this. I don't know if this kind of thing is common. I don't really even think I want children. I'm almost 28, so that could change I guess, but he and I have been talking about getting married and I don't want that kind of pressure to have babies from my mother-in-law. I don't know how serious HE is about it, but the fact that he even mentioned worries me.

    I just don't know what to make of this. The funny thing is, it is a very common name. it's not like there won't be any "Smiths" left in the world if he and I don't procreate.
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    God/dess Lysondra's Avatar
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    Default Re: Money for Babies?

    10k isn't enough unless she takes the kids herself.


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    Default Re: Money for Babies?

    Quote Originally Posted by Lysondra View Post
    10k isn't enough unless she takes the kids herself.
    I don't think so either. Kids are EXPENSIVE. The whole thing is bizarre.
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    Default Re: Money for Babies?

    10 grand won't go far with a baby, babies are expensive.

    I remember once my exs grandmother telling me that she was the only one in her circle of friends without any grandchildren and how did I think that made her feel? Old people are weird, they seem to think that we should all have had 5 babies by the time we're 25. I wouldn't worry about it hon, just take your time.



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    Default Re: Money for Babies?

    ugh, that is horrible. I can't imagine knowing that my parents had me because they were offered money.
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    Veteran Member Luxurious1's Avatar
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    Default Re: Money for Babies?

    It costs about 10k to get them out of the hospital lol...what a weird request.
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    Default Re: Money for Babies?

    maybe she thinks you want them anyway so it's just a nice little gift.

    i'd take it... if i wanted them.

    if not - just laugh.

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    Default Re: Money for Babies?

    Funny thought...... Since the mother seems to be the one that wants to make having a child into a business transaction, you have to wonder if negotiating for a higher monitary fee per baby would be appropriate in this situation.

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    Default Re: Money for Babies?

    ^^^ Candice has something there... hmmm....

    I agree. Children ARE expensive. 10k wouldn't cover crap if you had a child.

    At the same time, you would want to seriously think about this before you married your partner. Being incompatible in re the wanting of children is a big one.

    It has ended before they begun many potential relationships for me. Thankfully I found one who already has two so he is just perfectly fine with me not wanting any more.

    Plus the chances of you having a healthy good worry free pregnancy go down dramatically after age 35... so 28 isn't old yet it is a prime age for having children. You've lived your life enough by that time.

    You don't want to get into a marriage where your man will end up pressuring you because his mother is pressuring him.


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    God/dess phillyvixen's Avatar
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    Default Re: Money for Babies?

    our hospital bills were 10K
    I think offering money for grandkids is shameful



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    Featured Member Jeska's Avatar
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    Default Re: Money for Babies?

    I remember seeing this in a movie somewhere, I never knew people actually did it...


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    Featured Member kandie_kitten's Avatar
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    Default Re: Money for Babies?

    A lot of people are very into "carrying on the family name", old or otherwise, and even if it's a common one.

    They see it as a way for their deceased loved ones to live on.

    Certainly not an uncommon hope, but an annoying one.

  13. #13
    Bianca O'Blivion
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    Default Re: Money for Babies?

    There's also a biological precedent- with a third generation of your genes in circulation, it's much less likely that your "blood" will be wiped out.

    Some genes/traits also skip a generation so there is the emotional advantage of having a young version of someone who might have been precious to a person (a father, sibling, cousin, etc.)


    But on topic, 10 grand is a joke. That's a few months of living expenses for some people.

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    Default Re: Money for Babies?

    The whole offering money thing is just strange, Not to mention even if you were considering it, 10k is a joke! doesn't she know how expensive raising a kid is nowadays? Shit, i pay a little over 3k a year for my daughter's school & she's only 12 it just gets more expensive from there.
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    Default Re: Money for Babies?

    No, for the record, I am not considering it at all. Who knows if the dreaded "biological clock" will turn me into a woman who wants children, but I don't now.

    Moms-please don't take offense at this, but the thought of being pregnant is like my body getting hijacked by a parasite. If a fetus were a different species, it would be a parasite, sucking the nutrients out of my body.

    If I do want to have children in my family, I would consider adopting an older child. I have no desire to have an infant. But the idea of having kids just to indulge some narcissistic need to pass on the family genes and name is beyond me. And, I agree, 10 grand is a joke. Maybe that was a lot back in the 70's when my boyfriend was born.

    Edit: ugh, I am not a baby factory. (this is not a dig at big families, it's just not what I want)
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    Default Re: Money for Babies?

    Nah, no offense taken here, I am a mom, but being pregnant IMO sucks! I have 2 kids & have absolutely no desire for more, but if i did i would def consider adopting & def not an infant.

    I think the older generations feel the need to "carry on the family name" & of course you shouldn't feel pushed/bribed into having kids to in order to do so.
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    Default Re: Money for Babies?

    That's just sick.
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    Default Re: Money for Babies?

    That's just strange. And, ummm-would she still pay you if you popped out some girls??

  19. #19
    Bianca O'Blivion
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    Default Re: Money for Babies?

    I still can't get over 10 grand. That's a joke number to me.

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    Default Re: Money for Babies?

    On average...it costs about $190,000 (US) to raise a child until age 18.....(this isnt taking into account college education)

    I would guess that his mom is from a different culture? Maybe where these types of transactions or more common.

    In any case, it is insulting. His parents(and your parents) should not have input on the decisions that you and your man make about how you run your lives...That should have ended when you became adults(at whatever age that was for you). They can give you advice, suggestions, relay personal experiences that may apply to you........But it is completely your decision...if you dont want kids, dont have them. If your SO is still taking direction from his mom....or letting her pressure him....you may want to wait until he turns into an adult before committing to him.

    This request should have never gotten to you.....he should have ended the conversation the second she brought it up.

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