The customer dating poll has given me a great idea.
what's the worst date you've been on. some of the funniest. post your stories!![]()
The customer dating poll has given me a great idea.
what's the worst date you've been on. some of the funniest. post your stories!![]()
~Rule No#1: Never say anything to make you seem less attractive then you are!
~Rule No#2: Never fuck with the people that make your food
~Rule No#3 Never drop your weapon
~Rule No#4 Win if you can. Lose if you must. but always, always cheat.
One date i went on
I agreed to meet him at southbank (a peoples park in brisbane) for a swim and a movie, so i'm in the shower getting ready and i get a phone call
[Lets call him bernard]
B: I might be a little late, i just need to stop by my mothers and grab some money...
S: Ok
**Strike one**
so i meet this guy at southbank i only lived a five minute walk away so it wasn't a big deal for me.
off to the movies!!
B: My friends have downloaded all these movies i've seen them all...
S: Ok lets grab something to eat then.
**Strike two**
Head to restaurant
B:I'm on a body builders diet and i can only have 6 meals a day i've already had my quota.
S:Uhh ok lets grab a drink then.![]()
Note: this guy was far from being a body builder.
**Strike three**
To the bar!!
B: I have to go to the gym tomorrow so i can't drink
S: I'm going to have a drink.
"scarlette orders the most alcoholic thing on the menu"
**Strike four**
S: what do you want to do?
B:lets go for a walk
we walk along the river and approach kangaroo point cliffs there is a very long set of stairs to the top.
S: Race you!
Scarlette beats his ass!!!
B: You're fast for a chick.
We're at the top of the cliffs
S: Do you have a way of getting home? the trains and busses will be stopping soon
B: yeah i have a friend at kangaroo point that can put me up for the night
S: good because i'm going home
he walks me back to "my house' i wait till he's out of viewing range and head to my real house
half hour later
Message from bernard
B: do you know any hot chicks that are single?
S: no, no i don't.
B: oh well what would you say if i asked you out?
S: first i would laugh at you and call you an idiot.
ten minutes later
another message
B:all of the trains and busses have stopped can i crash at yours?
S what happened to your friend at kangaroo point?
B: he wouldn't wake up
S: well my housemate's picking me up later and wants to show me something i won't be home.
housemate calls from work
Ty: hey i'm taking one of my workmates to hungry jacks to thank him for working late for me. wanna come?
S: yep
housemate pulls up
at hungry jacks bernard turns up
(I've been bitching about the date all the car trip there so my housemate's pretty up to date) bernard starts talking to me
Ty introduces himself
T: hi i'm the boyfriend
B: Oh
S: looking akward as fuck
B well i'll see you later
T: she dosent like you
B: no! no! just as a friend!
T: even as a friend, she dosent like you!
we go home
**curtain closes**
~Rule No#1: Never say anything to make you seem less attractive then you are!
~Rule No#2: Never fuck with the people that make your food
~Rule No#3 Never drop your weapon
~Rule No#4 Win if you can. Lose if you must. but always, always cheat.





I had a blind date spend twenty minutes arguing with the waitress on why he should take her only pen.
Then at the first kiss he grabbed my tit.
Then he said "what are you most insecure about" I said my teeth. He said "show me". I did. He said, "Yeah, they are pretty fucked up."
Urgh.
Look like a woman
Think like a man
Act like a lady
Work like a dog
- My Great Grandmother Bessie's Recipe for Success
I'm lucky in that I haven't been on any seriously bad dates.
I did have a really annoying one with a super cute guy I really liked and wanted to impress. But I didn't get a chance because he spent the ENTIRE date talking about his ex girlfriend and there recent breakup. What a letdown. I couldn't wait to get the hell out of there. Needless to say, there was no second date.![]()
One guy that hung out with a friend of mine had been trying to get with me for a while. I needed to get laid it'd been a long time, so I decided to give him a try. After very little forplay, he gets on top and start yelling, "Yeah, take it all, take it all!" With a two inch penis! I was so pissed I said "take what?", threw him off, grabbed my clothes and purse and walked out of his second story butt naked and drove all the way home before I realized I was still naked!


I once had a date with the super excited "boy I'm gonna show her a good time" guy. He surprises me by buying me roller blades and taking me to a path along a long river (also by a busy road).
He had asked me previously if I liked roller blading and I said "no, I'm not good at it"
Well, that was an understatement. I hate it and I have knee problems so it's rather painful.
So anyway, I put the skates on and start fumbling around. He is positive that he can teach me how to skate. Ahhh, it went on forever. Hills, me falling, skinned knees, ppl flying by me, sitting in the grass because my knees hurt, cars honking at me in my sports bra. Then we still had to skate back to the car. I was ready to kill his perky ass. I walked the mile or so back barefoot n bloody. lol.
XOXO Jessica Blade
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