Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 27

Thread: Stripping Anxiety

  1. #1
    Featured Member exotica268's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    895
    Thanks
    318
    Thanked 58 Times in 44 Posts

    Default Stripping Anxiety

    How do you get over the anxious feeling before going to work. I don't always get this feeling. I get nervous that I won't make money, that nobody will want to buy dances, that nobody will want to buy me a drink, that the night will suck, etc.

    How do you get yourself out of this mindset?

  2. #2
    Featured Member
    Joined
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Dallas
    Posts
    1,442
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Stripping Anxiety

    I've been dancing for over 4 years and still get this feeling at least 2 times out of 4 times a week. I think it comes with any sales job. Before dancing i worked AOL advertising sales and did very well but was nervous as hell on a daily basis that i wouldn't meet my sales goals. I'd like to know the answer too! The best I can get to an answer is treat it like a regular job and work 4-5 days a week, so if you do bad one night it doesn't matter and it averages out in your favor.

  3. #3
    God/dess CKXXX's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2008
    Location
    in my head
    Posts
    3,467
    Thanks
    20
    Thanked 300 Times in 181 Posts

    Default Re: Stripping Anxiety

    Yeah I get that a LOT...esp since there are a lot of nights lately where I WONT make money and no guy WILL offer to even buy me a drink.

    I find that going in with the mindset that it doesnt matter what you make and you are just there to have fun helps. When I'm focused on the fact that I NEED to make money...I swear guys can smell it on you and it hurts your hustle.

    I always make more when I dont need it! So I try to psych myself into the mindset that I dont...no matter what my financial situation actually is.

    Quote Originally Posted by lexilou View Post
    "I'll picklepunch you in your twatwaffle!"

  4. #4
    Featured Member iseestars's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2005
    Location
    south florida, formally baltimore maryland
    Posts
    843
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 6 Times in 5 Posts

    Default Re: Stripping Anxiety

    I always get nervous before going into work - I always worry that I won't even be able to make my housefees.

    For a while, I was writing how much money I wanted to make that shift on these paper wristbands we had to wear and it actually really helped me be more confident.

  5. #5
    Member Rosary's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2008
    Posts
    33
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Stripping Anxiety

    I get like this before every shift and I've been a stripper for years. I say the best thing to do is get your ass to work. Once I'm in the dressing room with everybody chatting and I get out on the floor, the anxiety subsides somewhat.

    I know you guys have seen this before, but a great way to get into the night is to get that first dance. Once you get into it with a first dance and conversation, it will bolster your confidence.

  6. #6
    God/dess cutey5032's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2007
    Location
    the woods
    Posts
    2,215
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 17 Times in 14 Posts

    Default Re: Stripping Anxiety

    I just went through a slump caused by this....and I just got over it. Really, it sucks, but you just have to force yourself to go. Yeah, you might have a bad night but you might not. Even if I have a bad night or even 2 in one week, I keep telling myself "Well you can only have so many bad nights, so one of these nights has gotta be good, maybe it'll be tonight!"

  7. #7
    God/dess Pretty_Penny's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2005
    Location
    your moms house
    Posts
    5,050
    Thanks
    269
    Thanked 648 Times in 256 Posts

    Default Re: Stripping Anxiety

    every once in awhile, usually when things have been stressful for a lengthy amount of time, i will have a panic attack about work. usually it builds when i'm driving there and fully hits when i get there. it's not often, i think it's happened twice in the last year. once was about a month ago.

    i just try to find a space where i can be alone. last time there was no one in the VIP rooms at the time.. so i went in there and started doing some stretches. i do some mindless task like that (a distraction) while i tell myself a variety of things such as:

    -you are not a psychic (meaning i can't predict the future and to try to is silly)
    -you are having a panic/anxiety attack. you're not going "insane" and nothing is wrong with you.

    and i try to relate it to the "big picture" a lot. i think of a previous time when i had some anxiety and then i think about all the times afterwards that i did not. how i was eventually fine and things went back to normal. i find that very helpful.

    once i've calmed down i just try to focus on work and i try to stay busy. also, if it's really bad, i avoid negativity completely. i make it a point to walk away sooner from jerky guys or drama-rama dancers. normally i can handle a good amount of the bullshit, but on days like that, it's best to just go the path of least resistance.

    also, for me.. sometimes it helps to resign the money right up front in my head. i only do this if it's REALLY bad anxiety. but i'll tell myself "ok. so you won't make any money today. you can deal with that". and once i've accepted that, i don't feel the PRESSURE to make it happen. like i said, i would NOT make a habit of getting into that mindset. it's just a good for when it's severe.

  8. #8
    God/dess Pretty_Penny's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2005
    Location
    your moms house
    Posts
    5,050
    Thanks
    269
    Thanked 648 Times in 256 Posts

    Default Re: Stripping Anxiety

    one more thing (long. i know ):

    humor helps. try and look at the club from a different perspective. a lot of times anxiety is caused by catastrophic thinking and blowing things way out of proportion/larger than life. sometimes it helps to just go out on the floor, look around, think about the -humor- of the situations you see (trust me it's there) and just laugh to yourself. the club is not some big-bad-place. it's just a silly strip club. that one mega-bitch dancer who always gives everyone trouble is just a silly girl. that big fat sexist manager looks just like the penquin from batman.... etc.


  9. #9
    God/dess carmen_b's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2007
    Location
    the mountains ....
    Posts
    14,202
    Thanks
    15,165
    Thanked 21,346 Times in 9,308 Posts

    Default Re: Stripping Anxiety

    One thing I often do is to make it a goal just to get to work / be prepared for work. I will also reward myself with a treat sometimes ( kiddie cone, latte ect.) if I just get there. Try not to actually think about it until you get there. The hardest part of doing my both my day job and dancing is quite literally just getting ready and getting to the place I need to be. Once you are there with your stuff ... it's not like you are going to actively try not to make money .
    Last edited by carmen_b; 09-21-2008 at 12:45 AM.

  10. #10
    God/dess CKXXX's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2008
    Location
    in my head
    Posts
    3,467
    Thanks
    20
    Thanked 300 Times in 181 Posts

    Default Re: Stripping Anxiety

    Quote Originally Posted by Pretty_Penny View Post
    also, for me.. sometimes it helps to resign the money right up front in my head. i only do this if it's REALLY bad anxiety. but i'll tell myself "ok. so you won't make any money today. you can deal with that". and once i've accepted that, i don't feel the PRESSURE to make it happen. like i said, i would NOT make a habit of getting into that mindset. it's just a good for when it's severe.
    See for me..that works A LOT...I do it all the time. Even hubby tells me when I leave...dont worry about making money,just have fun.(even if we are totally broke like now)Because he knows that works for me. If I allow myself to concentrate on the money I stress out and dont make any.

    Quote Originally Posted by carmen_b View Post
    The hardest part of doing my both my day job and dancing is quite literally just getting ready and getting to the place I need to be. Once you are there with your stuff ... it's not like you are going to actively try not to make money .
    100% agree. 80% of the battle for me is just getting out the door and into the car. Once I've done that....unless its really bad or I get sick...the battle is almost over. My mindset switches automatically as soon as I step into the club.

    Quote Originally Posted by lexilou View Post
    "I'll picklepunch you in your twatwaffle!"

  11. #11
    Featured Member pinkpvc's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2006
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    1,012
    Thanks
    130
    Thanked 252 Times in 117 Posts
    My Mood
    Angelic

    Default Re: Stripping Anxiety

    Last saturday I broke down at work and spent half of my shift in the corner close to tears.
    Last night I called in sick because i couldn't face it.
    And tonight, well thats a different story. I can either sit here and talk myself down due to unfounded nerves or I can pep myself up and go in their and own the place.
    So yes for the last 30 mins I have been sitting telling myself "You look so f'ing hot tonight, the second you walk in the door everyone won't be able to take their eyes off you, This is going to be the best night ever".
    I may not have believed it at first but god damnit now I feel really confident and ready to take the night on!!!
    And I'm listening to Deftones-shove it and am dancing to that tonight. For some reason it makes me feel powerful lol.

    -ETA- I know its not always easy as the above, but the only way I can manage my anxiety is by curbing it before It gets out of hand. The second I start getting anxious feelings or putting myself down I mentally tell myself to stop and start faking the positive feelings until I feel them.

  12. #12
    Featured Member keira0304's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2008
    Posts
    1,362
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 32 Times in 14 Posts

    Default Re: Stripping Anxiety

    a big list of positive affirmations posted on my mirror while i'm getting ready at home and in my locker at work... also.. rescue remedy. lots of it.
    "Life and death, energy and peace. If I stop today it was still worth it. Even the terrible mistakes that I made and would have unmade if I could. The pains that have burned me and scarred my soul, it was worth it, for having been allowed to walk where I've walked, which was to hell on earth, heaven on earth, back again, into, under, far in between, through it, in it, and above."

    [/URL]

  13. #13
    Featured Member
    Joined
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Dallas
    Posts
    1,442
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Stripping Anxiety

    It's comforting that other girls feel this way too. when Im having a panic attack at work it's hard for me to find a place to be alone. I will usually go to the restroom and breathe for a little bit I can't do it in the dr or anywhere else there are a lot of girls around, it seems like no one else ever goes through that. At the same time it feels like everyone is looking at me and knows im having a panic attack and thinks I never do well. So if anybody asks me i will say im great and im doing awesome, i have waay too much pride. .

  14. #14
    Featured Member exotica268's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    895
    Thanks
    318
    Thanked 58 Times in 44 Posts

    Default Re: Stripping Anxiety

    Quote Originally Posted by Pretty_Penny View Post
    one more thing (long. i know ):

    humor helps. try and look at the club from a different perspective. a lot of times anxiety is caused by catastrophic thinking and blowing things way out of proportion/larger than life. sometimes it helps to just go out on the floor, look around, think about the -humor- of the situations you see (trust me it's there) and just laugh to yourself. the club is not some big-bad-place. it's just a silly strip club. that one mega-bitch dancer who always gives everyone trouble is just a silly girl. that big fat sexist manager looks just like the penquin from batman.... etc.

    Hahah, I love this one.

  15. #15
    Senior Member IvoryDancer's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Austin, Texas
    Posts
    78
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 25 Times in 5 Posts
    My Mood
    Cheeky

    Default Re: Stripping Anxiety

    I'm more of an introvert by nature, so I dealt with this a lot. Several things helped me out.
    1. motivational books and cd's
    2. making my money goals more long term
    3. giving myself a small reward just foe making it in
    4. having a basic script of how to start conversations
    5. being early for my shift
    two reasons for this last one
    A. less competition the floor
    B. get on stage earlier to see if I get any interest

  16. #16
    Veteran Member
    Joined
    Jul 2004
    Location
    New Mexico
    Posts
    342
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 8 Times in 7 Posts

    Default Re: Stripping Anxiety

    I've danced for years and have never really shaken that feeling. What really helped was when I realized that I didn't need to get rid of the feeling, I just needed to learn to function despite it. This is how I do it:

    1) Trust. I learned to trust that there is something within me that will take over once I'm in the club. I don't need to conjure it up before hand, I just need to get my physical body to work.
    2) Don't procrastinate. It makes things worse because you end up having to race around when you're already in a state of anxiety.
    3) Move slowly and methodically. When you're in the shower, just be in the shower. Don't picture yourself on center stage with everyone looking at you, it will freak you out. Do everything step by step. When you're at work, focus on selling one dance. After that, focus on selling one more. They will add up, and you will get through the night.
    4) If you panic, focus on your feet, it will ground you. You can do that throughout the night.
    5) In times where anxiety is really strong, reduce your overall goal for the night, but allow it to build up once you're at the club. Instead of saying "I need to make $600 tonight!" and freaking out, say "I need to make $100 tonight", something easy, then once you've done it, do it again, etc. By then you will probably be in the swing of things and on your way to your original goal.
    6) I keep a copy of "Think and grow rich" in my dance bag. When it's dead I go back and read the chapter on "Persistence" for three songs. Both the message and the repetition of reading the same chapter is calming, and the three song limit makes for a controlled break and enough time for someone new to have walked in.

    I think the anxiety, for me, comes from the fact that part of me does not like stripping, yet part of me does. I have to trust that the part of me that does will take over once I'm at the club, even though the part of me that doesn't can't always believe that it will.

  17. The Following User Says Thank You to shakti For This Useful Post:


  18. #17
    Veteran Member MichelleJade's Avatar
    Joined
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    271
    Thanks
    6
    Thanked 13 Times in 5 Posts

    Default Re: Stripping Anxiety

    I have set days I go to work. I never blow it off, even when I'm crampy and bloated, unless I really, really have to. I work Thursdays, so starting Wednesday night I'll start thinking about work, talk about it, pick out outfits. Once I go to bed with the mindset 'I'm going to work', I wake up in the mindset and then center my day around work. I dedicate the whole day to nothing but getting ready, working, then relaxing afterward. All Friday I 'relax' and don't worry about work again till the evening, when I start to think about it again, and do the same Saturday. Having a day in between really helps.
    I just accept that when I go in, I can either make $0 or hundreds of dollars. And it's the reality of it, and if I have a bad night or even two I know next week will be different. I know everytime I put on the makeup and heels, there's a chance I might even owe the club money.

    I always go up on stage before seriously hustling. It helps loosen me up, put it all out there, and the tips get me in the money-making mood. I don't give myself a choice in going to work or not, I know I have to go in.
    Though techincally I'm not supposed to, working in two clubs helps a lot. When I feel insecure, I work the small club. When I feel good, I work the big club. If I go to the small club I accept I won't make money and then I actually make money! So +1 the above.
    There's only so much you can learn in one place...
    The longer you wait, the more time that you waste.

  19. #18
    Veteran Member
    Joined
    Apr 2004
    Location
    Here and there
    Posts
    394
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 15 Times in 5 Posts

    Default Re: Stripping Anxiety

    I'm with IvoryDancer on the going in early thing. That helps me a lot cause I don't feel rushed and I get a head start on the other girls. I use that time to relax and get into stripper work mode. I find I'm a lot calmer and less pressured if I come in about a half hour to an hour early. I get ready at home for the most part. I just change and touch up my hair and makeup when I get there. By the time my shift starts I'm already in high gear.

    I also find that having a routine on my drive to work helps. I've been getting Rockstars to drink on the way. Little things like that help me get into work mode.

    If I get that butterflies in my stomach feeling (which thankfully doesn't happen very much) I'll just talk to myself in the car. Positive things like "I'm so hot. I fuckin own the club." etc. to pump myself up before I go in.

  20. #19
    God/dess
    Joined
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    2,519
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 53 Times in 32 Posts

    Default Re: Stripping Anxiety

    I get this too. When I go into work, I am often afraid I won't make tipout which is nonsense because I ALWAYS make money. I just look at my records and tell myself that if I don't enough money, I'll just go in the next day.
    Come bid on my first eBay auction!!!!
    LESS THAN 24 HOURS LEFT!!!!!!!!



    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  21. #20
    God/dess PleasureVictim's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2005
    Location
    nowhere I want to be
    Posts
    3,684
    Thanks
    803
    Thanked 767 Times in 394 Posts

    Default Re: Stripping Anxiety

    Great tips, I'll have more than enough days ahead to try each suggestion out.
    Women of color:
    Shake your ass and preserve your heritage.
    Bang those fucking drums.
    Do it for the present and future generations.
    Have fun and stick it to the man at the same time.
    (bad-dominicana)

  22. #21
    Featured Member Victoryx0x0's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2006
    Location
    Jerz
    Posts
    750
    Thanks
    25
    Thanked 12 Times in 6 Posts

    Default Re: Stripping Anxiety

    uh im not such a good advice when it comes to this. i get bubble guts terrible when i get in the parking lot. I get a beer or wine in my system dance around the dressing room with my dancer girls and then get on the floor and make some money!

  23. #22
    Featured Member AznExtasy's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    1,880
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 33 Times in 23 Posts

    Default Re: Stripping Anxiety

    I think no matter how many years I dance, I will still get anxiety all the time. I don't have much advice to share but these all sound like helpful tips. Thanks guys!

  24. #23
    Veteran Member Electrum's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2008
    Location
    If I was up your butt you'd know, Michigan
    Posts
    738
    Thanks
    16
    Thanked 38 Times in 30 Posts
    My Mood
    Daring

    Default Re: Stripping Anxiety

    I get this SO bad

    I don't always do this but it works. Sometimes I'll drink a beer or two while I'm getting ready (I don't drive to or from work) and that gets rid of the butterflies at least. I don't like to make a habit of that for obvious reasons.

    It's weird though; as soon as I walk through the club doors it goes away. But I've already had a panic attack on the way there and in the parking lot. If I just make it through the doors I'm fine. I wonder why so many of us are like that?

    I've been letting too many things get to me lately. I'm lucky if I work 3 times a week. I don't think I've done that in a month... Another girl here said it perfectly.
    There's half of me that loves stripping and half that doesn't. I have to get those to balance somehow and trust that the part of me that loves stripping will emerge once I walk through the doors.

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Lysondra
    I had previously stuck the bananas and cucumber in my cooter, yes.

  25. #24
    Veteran Member Luxurious1's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2008
    Location
    Daytona Beach
    Posts
    655
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 4 Times in 2 Posts

    Default Re: Stripping Anxiety

    i cant even go to a club lately..i keep going, getting hired and then never showing up. Stupid anxiety
    Originally Posted by ViolaStrings
    Move on, move forward. There's a rainbow of cocks out there.

    *I gotta remember this!*

  26. #25
    Senior Member
    Joined
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    132
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 13 Times in 9 Posts

    Default Re: Stripping Anxiety

    Quote Originally Posted by Luxurious1 View Post
    i cant even go to a club lately..i keep going, getting hired and then never showing up. Stupid anxiety
    I'm so sorry!

    I used to drive to work, but not go in. Pretty often. The more you don't go, though, the worse it will get. And, the worst part, the difficulty is all in your mind.

    You just have to ask yourself why you want to dance. If you have a compelling enough reason, you must give yourself enough respect to get out there and do it! Make it more about you, your personal reasons, and not about imagined goals/money/etc. at first. Step one, you. Do it for you. One day at a time, and pretty soon it will become natural if it's something you want to keep doing. There's no way around this, unfortunately. It helps to know this is part of life (well, if we live it well, with a little risk, etc.).

    Another thing, people are always going to judge. The more you put yourself out there, the more criticism. The only way to get strong is to feel the heat and get over this. It's difficult. Wish you the best.

  27. The Following User Says Thank You to margo80 For This Useful Post:


Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Has anyone taken Zoloft for Social Anxiety/Anxiety?
    By SweetPetite in forum Body Business
    Replies: 30
    Last Post: 03-19-2018, 07:06 PM
  2. anxiety!!
    By jules477 in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 20
    Last Post: 02-21-2011, 02:17 AM
  3. my anxiety
    By Peanut_Butter in forum Body Business
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 06-15-2008, 08:16 AM
  4. Anxiety....
    By BrunetteGoddess in forum Body Business
    Replies: 35
    Last Post: 05-15-2008, 10:10 PM
  5. Anxiety....
    By BrunetteGoddess in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 05-14-2008, 02:28 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •