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Thread: If you have quit stripping, how did it change you?

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    Default If you have quit stripping, how did it change you?

    I was recently involved with a woman who was a former stripper. When I met her, she hadn't danced for about 2-3 months and had a office job. Prior to that, she had danced for about, collectively 5 years.

    The relationship started off fast and exciting and wonderful. The sex was great! She was very adventurous and loving.

    But, about 5 months into it, she lost her sexual drive. She insisted that it had nothing to do with me and I shouldn't take it personally. However, she did say she didn't want to sex with me and lost her sexual attraction to me. She also said, she doesn't even see any guys that she is attracted to.

    She couldn't really explain it to me. She mentioned how she didn't feel sexy anymore. She stopped shaving downstairs and her body was not in "dancing shape." I loved her body but she felt the extra weight gain was something she wasn't used to.

    One time she asked me, "do you know what's like to be dancing for as long as I have and stop know how it would affect me?"

    I don't. I wonder, though. If she spent a significant time of her adult life working at a job where it's all about being sexy and flirtatious and then she gets a job where she works with women and sexuality plays no role in it at all, how might one change because of it.

    I'm just hoping to hear from former strippers and maybe I can gain a better understanding of what it must be like to stop stripping. Thanks.
    Last edited by keith905; 09-26-2008 at 10:28 PM.

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    God/dess anomar's Avatar
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    Default Re: If you have quit stripping, how did it change you?

    First of all, my vagina grew fangs.

    Then, I spent all of my man's money on Gucci and blow. I also gave his Cadillac the herpes.

    I got rickets. Don't know if those two things are related.

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    God/dess anomar's Avatar
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    Default Re: If you have quit stripping, how did it change you?

    Oh wait

    I'M ALSO A TOTAL FATTY NOW

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    God/dess anomar's Avatar
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    Default Re: If you have quit stripping, how did it change you?

    Perhaps you stopped spending money on her. Strippers need money to operate. They are like coin operated juke-boxes of love.

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    Featured Member francescadubois's Avatar
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    Default Re: If you have quit stripping, how did it change you?

    Quote Originally Posted by anomar View Post
    First of all, my vagina grew fangs.

    Then, I spent all of my man's money on Gucci and blow. I also gave his Cadillac the herpes.

    I got rickets. Don't know if those two things are related.
    Quote Originally Posted by anomar View Post
    Oh wait

    I'M ALSO A TOTAL FATTY NOW
    Quote Originally Posted by anomar View Post
    Perhaps you stopped spending money on her. Strippers need money to operate. They are like coin operated juke-boxes of love.
    I love you!!
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    Featured Member francescadubois's Avatar
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    Default Re: If you have quit stripping, how did it change you?

    Ok, guy, we're bustin your balls cuz your new. But seriously why don't you ask her why she stopped? DID you stop spending money on her/takin her out/treating her the way you did in the beginning?
    "I came in like a lamb, but I intend to leave like a lion."

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mastridonicus View Post
    The only thing a person hates more than being a sex object, is NOT being a sex object.
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    Default Re: If you have quit stripping, how did it change you?

    Ok, I can handle the abuse.

    I did not stop taking her out. I probably spent more money in the final months thinking she needed to be wined and dined some more but that didn't do it.

    Like I wrote up above, she said she wasn't feeling sexy anymore. On top of that, when we did have sex, it was her asking: "so do you want to have sex before I leave?" If I did try to initiate anything, she would stop before I could try. So I just stopped because all it would do would be cause a fight.

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    God/dess CKXXX's Avatar
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    Default Re: If you have quit stripping, how did it change you?

    She now has a "respectable" job??? Umm...fuck you very much! Maybe you have made it known that you believe her previous job was not respectable and thats why she doesnt want to screw you anymore.

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    Default Re: If you have quit stripping, how did it change you?

    Quote Originally Posted by CKXXX View Post
    She now has a "respectable" job???
    That's why I put 'respectable' in quotes. I was trying to demonstrate what society might deem a respectable job. Maybe another word would be normal or average. Either way, her job is a 9-5 job in an office. Maybe a different word could have been used but I meant no disrespect.

    Anyway, the point of this thread was for me to understand what it would be like to not have to use your looks to make money since that was the point she was trying to make. That she doesn't feel sexy anymore.

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    Default Re: If you have quit stripping, how did it change you?

    I've gained weight in the past several months and while my boyfriend reassures me that I still look the same and he loves my body, I have gotten pretty self-conscious about the way I look. And sex isn't nearly as fun when you're constantly thinking, "Bet I look too fat from this angle."

    Also, when you don't dance, you don't have dozens/hundreds of people per night constantly looking at you and reminding you how sexy you are. That can be a blow, and another reason to feel unattractive. And not feeling sexy often leads to not wanting sex. These may be the issues for her.

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    Default Re: If you have quit stripping, how did it change you?

    Quote Originally Posted by anomar View Post
    Perhaps you stopped spending money on her. Strippers need money to operate. They are like coin operated juke-boxes of love.
    ^^^

    siggy siggy!!
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    God loves strippers and when guys do things like that its an automatic ticket to HELL!


    Quote Originally Posted by anomar View Post
    Perhaps you stopped spending money on her. Strippers need money to operate. They are like coin operated juke-boxes of love.

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    Default Re: If you have quit stripping, how did it change you?

    Thank you moll flanders for giving me some insight.

    That's another thing I thought of. She seemed to have a hard time believing she was attractive. But she seemed to feel attractive when she was all made up. But she didn't get dressed up every day. But if she wasn't made up, she wasn't feeling attractive in the slightest.

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    Default Re: If you have quit stripping, how did it change you?

    I'll chime in here...

    Quitting dancing really did a number on me. I did gain a good bit of weight and I stopped feeling as sexy. My sex drive did really start to plummet. Maybe you could encourage her to go back to dancing part-time, 1-2 nights a week?

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    Default Re: If you have quit stripping, how did it change you?

    Anomar, I *heart* you. I *heart* you mucho.

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    Default Re: If you have quit stripping, how did it change you?

    Quote Originally Posted by morgantx View Post
    I'll chime in here...

    My sex drive did really start to plummet. Maybe you could encourage her to go back to dancing part-time, 1-2 nights a week?

    I don't know if she would want to dance again. It just didn't worth it to her I guess. That's interesting that your sex drive plummeted.

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    Veteran Member sparkleeyz's Avatar
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    Default Re: If you have quit stripping, how did it change you?

    I haven't stopped dancing yet but maybe encouraging her to dance for you might be a fun form of foreplay that might excite her? I do it for my man and it turns me on like crazy.
    "I Can Sell Raid To A Bug. i'm A Hustler I Can Sell Salt To A Slug" -Cassidy

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    Default Re: If you have quit stripping, how did it change you?

    Quote Originally Posted by sparkleeyz View Post
    I haven't stopped dancing yet but maybe encouraging her to dance for you might be a fun form of foreplay that might excite her? I do it for my man and it turns me on like crazy.

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    Default Re: If you have quit stripping, how did it change you?

    Does she do any pole dancing ? Burlesque ? Is there an active burlesque 'scene' where you are at ... such as that she could possibly be a Burlesque girl (do a show) every so often? Plus pole dancing is something I want to be able to do long after I've hung up my stripper heels. Would buying her a pole or offering to help her get started with pole dance lessons (or even Burlesque lessons.. ie fan dancing or in general burlesque lessons) help her? What about belly dancing ?

    Try to delve into what her passions are... what "turns her on" to do ? Then support her in persuing those passions even if it is casually around her job.


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    Senior Member hazel_eyes's Avatar
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    Default Re: If you have quit stripping, how did it change you?

    When I stopped dancing, the same thing happened to me. I lost my sex drive because I didn't feel attractive anymore. No matter what my husband said or did, I never felt good about myself. Eventually, I got over it. It just took time and finding ways to express myself other than stripping.

    I do believe a lot of it was that men weren't looking at me as much anymore, plus the excitement of work was no longer in my life. It was a real blow to my self esteem to not be there every night dancing.

    Maybe she misses the excitement of it? If I were you, I'd think of some fun and exciting things to do together that don't involve sex or the pressure to look attractive. Try going to a theme park, take her out dancing, take salsa lessons. Give her a way to feel like she can let go and be sexy in her new "normal" life. Put some adventure into her life and see if it helps.

    Let her know you think she is beautiful (I'm sure you do), but do it more often than you already do. Don't just say it- show it. I know it's easier said than done, but you are going to have to work your ass off if you want this to work. And don't just let her know how much you like her looks. Sometimes if you compliment someone's intelligence, it makes them feel just as good. If you see her when she first wakes up in the morning, tell her that she's never looked more gorgeous. Eventually she'll start to believe it. Maybe send her flowers to her work so she feels like she stands out from the rest of the people she works with.

    I know this is a lengthy reply, but I hope it helps. Try and hang in there. She'll be back to herself eventually.
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    Default Re: If you have quit stripping, how did it change you?

    Ok...you didnt actually put respectable in quotes...that would have helped.

    Stopping a job where you made a lot of money quickly,had a ton of freedom and flexibility and got a lot of attention to a job where you are bound by hours/rules with less money and attention is difficult. Which is why many of us get sucked back when we are ready to retire.

    Give her time and keep showing her how much she means to you and how attractive you think she is. Everyones sex drive waxes and wanes...this is just another bump in the road

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    Default Re: If you have quit stripping, how did it change you?

    This question has been asked before. Shouldnt it be in CC anyway.

    Im so over men coming here and asking us why strippers do things. How the fuck would I know I dont know why other people do anything. Just coz we do the same job doesn't mean we all act and think alike.
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    Default Re: If you have quit stripping, how did it change you?

    Quote Originally Posted by jaizaine View Post
    This question has been asked before. Shouldnt it be in CC anyway.

    Im so over men coming here and asking us why strippers do things. How the fuck would I know I dont know why other people do anything. Just coz we do the same job doesn't mean we all act and think alike.
    I know, right? Would you go on an plumbers website to ask why your ex-plumber gf is acting weird? Oh right, its because our job defines us as people so we're one size fits all.
    These days I like to count my money. I like to wash it delicately and iron it. Sometimes I dry it with some bounty to make it all nice and cuddly. I love my money... did I say that out loud?

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    Default Re: If you have quit stripping, how did it change you?

    I Anomar!!! LOL

    It could be alot of things. Some women just burn through men and she may truly be over the inital excitement of your romance and realized there's nothing there that truly interests her. Could be she feels fat. Could be the "regular" paychecks getting her down. Depression. Anything. If you really like her and sex isn't an issue so much then hang in there.

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    Veteran Member davka's Avatar
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    Default Re: If you have quit stripping, how did it change you?

    saphire: yeah. this question made me uncomfortable and i am trying to figure out why. i think you hit the nail on the head.

    there are so many things that go into a person's general well-being- why is dancing or no dancing the big question here?
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    Default Re: If you have quit stripping, how did it change you?

    deleted
    Last edited by Brendita; 10-12-2008 at 02:40 AM.

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