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Thread: body language (read this if you're new)

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    God/dess Pretty_Penny's Avatar
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    Default body language (read this if you're new)

    I know this has been mentioned in various threads, but since i've noticed a lot of girls not picking up on this very important signal lately... i wanted to bring it up.

    body language is one of the easiest ways to tell if a customer is open to you or not. good body language means he is interested in you. it may not guarantee you will make money off of him, but it's a good start. bad body language means he is either not interested in you specifically or he is very defensive about the idea of spending money, period.

    so what is good body language? when you've approached the customer, he makes eye contact with you. he continues to make eye contact while you speak, or at least makes eye contact in between checking out your body. he turns his body towards you. i can't stress that part enough. it doesn't mean he has to be completely facing you, but he has at least moved -towards- you. he has his arms and hands relaxed or is reaching out to shake your hand, put a hand on your arm, etc. it might seem like a no brainer, but a general "good expression" is a great sign too. his eyebrows are raised a bit when the two of you talk, he smiles, etc. another good sign is that when he speaks to you he elaborates on answers and descriptions.

    so what is bad body language? when you approach him he keeps looking in another direction or he looks at you quickly and then looks away again. his body is turned away from you and stays that way. his arms are folded or he is gripping his drink for dear life. he does other things while you try to talk to him that do not involve you, like checks his phone (and not to show you pictures or answer an important call). his face is expressionless, he may look irritated, or he may look like he's busy. when he talks to you it's mostly only to answer your questions and the answers are very short. he makes little or no attempt to add new ideas to the conversation.

    why am i bringing this up? because although i'm sure plenty of us know this as "basic" i've noticed a lot of girls struggling with it lately. just the other day at my work a new girl approached a guy who was sitting at the bar, facing foward. when she started talking to him he nodded at her, smiled for a sec, but then continued looking forward. she asked if she could sit and he said yes. i want to note that MANY uninterested guys will do this. why? because they don't want to "be mean/rude". asking "can i sit here?" is NOT the same as asking "would you like some company?". the second is a better question, if you decide to ask at all.

    anyway, she continues talking to him and he all but ignores her the entire time. he answers questions but doesn't ask any, he keeps staring forward. at one point she buys her own drink and continues talking to him. it's around this time that i notice him watching me. so, i wait till she goes on stage (about an HOUR later) and i say hi. he says "oh my god! thank you for coming over! i've been waiting!" we go to do dances and he tells me (i dont ask, he offers the info) that the new girl is very cute, but not his type. he says he didn't want to be mean and tried to ignore her so she'd go away. he said "short of telling her to go i did all i could." then, of course, when the girl gets off stage and sees me dancing for him what happens? she is upset. this has been happening -a lot- with new girls lately.

    i'm not telling you girls this in order to "brag". the truth is, this happens to ALL of us. every single one of us is rejected at work, many times because the customer is interested in a different girl. it's normal and it's part of the job. you will save yourself a lot of time and grief if you notice these "clues" up front. it doesn't mean you have to judge body language in the first minute and make a choice there and then. sometimes customers will "warm up to you" and sometimes they're just nervous/shy at first. however, if you've tried for 5-10 minutes (max) and his body language isn't moving from bad towards good, my advice is to politely excuse yourself. maybe, if it's slow, check back in later.

    anyway, i know that was long. i hope it helps.

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    God/dess Pretty_Penny's Avatar
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    Default Re: body language (read this if you're new)

    come to think of it, maybe i should have posted this in the newbies section.

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    Senior Member moll_flanders's Avatar
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    Default Re: body language (read this if you're new)

    Great advice! This is definitely something to keep in mind even if you're not new.

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    Default Re: body language (read this if you're new)

    Quote Originally Posted by Pretty_Penny View Post
    come to think of it, maybe i should have posted this in the newbies section.
    I pushed "report" to move it to Newbies. You can do the same. I think that's a good post btw.







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    Default Re: body language (read this if you're new)

    that's great advice

    it should be pointed out though that open, interested body language does not always mean interest or money. often the guys who seem the most interested are the biggest time wasters. as a new girl, i wasted a lot of time with these sorts.

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    God/dess Pretty_Penny's Avatar
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    Default Re: body language (read this if you're new)

    Quote Originally Posted by she sells sanctuary View Post
    that's great advice

    it should be pointed out though that open, interested body language does not always mean interest or money. often the guys who seem the most interested are the biggest time wasters. as a new girl, i wasted a lot of time with these sorts.
    i touched on that, briefly.

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    Default Re: body language (read this if you're new)

    This is all great advice! And I'm noticing the same with newbies too. Some will spend hours (literally) with a guy who just isn't interested.

    I almost exclusively rely on body language as an indicator of who to approach. A few times I've made great money off guys who didn't seem interest, but were in fact just very shy; but they're rare exceptions.

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    Featured Member veronicachick's Avatar
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    Default Re: body language (read this if you're new)

    yeaaa... I watch for body language too.
    I read somewhere that if you sit with a guy and his knees are pointing towards you that means he likes you.... never tested the theory tho.
    I can usually tell if a customer really wants me there the first min. into the conversation.

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    Member carmenlove's Avatar
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    Default Re: body language (read this if you're new)

    i want to read some books on this and do more research. . . hmm
    buti know this-
    yes, when a man stares, and doesn't let go with his eyes, head, body, i know he wants to spend $. but when he stares, if i stare him down, and he looks away, he wants a free look.
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    Default Re: body language (read this if you're new)

    Awesome thread PP.

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    Default Re: body language (read this if you're new)

    I seriously think that all dancers should be required to read up on body language. This would allow them to not only watch for the cues from custies, but to monitor their own nonverbal communication. Doesn't help if you're sitting there, not smiling with your eyes, crossing your arms/legs dismissively, pointing your feet away from him, and tensing your mouth. Even if the custie hasn't read up on body language, he'll unconsciously pick up in your nonverbal cues, and be turned off.

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    Default Re: body language (read this if you're new)

    Great post PP, reminds me not to try so hard when I'm getting bad body signals

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