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Thread: I feel deformed.

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    Senior Member no.speak's Avatar
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    Default I feel deformed.

    Does anyone else feel hideously ugly on a regular basis?

    Like, I'm afraid to look directly at people or even leave my house most of the time because I feel so repulsive.

    I'm not dancing right now because of this. Or doing much of anything.

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    Default Re: I feel deformed.

    I feel like that right now.The sides of my face are completely covered in cystic acne, my hair is blahhh, I dont want to go outside!!!

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    Default Re: I feel deformed.

    Hmm...well why do you feel this way? and are these things that you can REALLY change? A lot of it, is just excepting your flaws. NOOOO one is perfect, and a lot of people who are considered to be beautiful also have a nice swagger to them, and that plays a big role in being attractive or beautiful. I say that if it's stuff that you can really change, like weight or acne, just do what you can about it and the things you can't change you will just have to learn how to deal with. Make sure you also look a the positive side of you. You might have a nice feature and focus on that too. Work your make-up around so that that feature pops out, and the ones that you don't like are not as visible. All in all, you just gotta learn how to love yourself. It takes time, but it's very rewarding.

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    Veteran Member MichelleJade's Avatar
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    Default Re: I feel deformed.

    I only get like this when my hair reaches a certain length. It's odd that long hair makes me terribly insecure, but alas... I say it's time for a mini-makeover. Haircut, makeup, anything.
    There's only so much you can learn in one place...
    The longer you wait, the more time that you waste.

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    Default Re: I feel deformed.

    You need to do something to boost your self esteem. Get your hair done,
    get your nails done. Get a facial or a waxing something to make your self feel good. What is bothering you?
    There is a solution for all most everything that bothers you about your appearance.
    Don't dwell on this you must raise your confidence.

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    God/dess VegasPrincess's Avatar
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    Default Re: I feel deformed.

    I feel this way, and I've also struggled with anorexia/bulemia for most of my life. I think it's related to that for me.

    I know exactly what you mean. Sometimes I dont want to go to the store or anywhere because I feel like like people will be staring at how disgusting I am. or, I can't have fun sometimes when I'm out because all I can think about is how fat and disgusting I am and how people are staring at me.

    I wish i could get over this stuff....if you need to talk to anyone PM me I know what you're going through....
    Sexy Jasmine after getting fucked over at work:

    God loves strippers and when guys do things like that its an automatic ticket to HELL!


    Quote Originally Posted by anomar View Post
    Perhaps you stopped spending money on her. Strippers need money to operate. They are like coin operated juke-boxes of love.

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    Featured Member *Iris*'s Avatar
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    Default Re: I feel deformed.

    Quote Originally Posted by VegasPrincess View Post
    I feel this way, and I've also struggled with anorexia/bulemia for most of my life. I think it's related to that for me.

    I know exactly what you mean. Sometimes I dont want to go to the store or anywhere because I feel like like people will be staring at how disgusting I am. or, I can't have fun sometimes when I'm out because all I can think about is how fat and disgusting I am and how people are staring at me.

    I wish i could get over this stuff....if you need to talk to anyone PM me I know what you're going through....
    You just described me at the moment. My fiance doesn't understand and sometimes I wonder if he thinks im making it up or something.

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    God/dess VegasPrincess's Avatar
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    Default Re: I feel deformed.

    ^^^

    mine too! He thinks I'm just being dramatic.
    Sexy Jasmine after getting fucked over at work:

    God loves strippers and when guys do things like that its an automatic ticket to HELL!


    Quote Originally Posted by anomar View Post
    Perhaps you stopped spending money on her. Strippers need money to operate. They are like coin operated juke-boxes of love.

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    Default Re: I feel deformed.

    I swear I feel the same way today!!!!

    I wish I had some advice. but I dont. feel better, sista.
    Formerly known as PhatyPants

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    Moderator charlie61's Avatar
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    Default Re: I feel deformed.

    Research BDD-- Body Dysmorphic Disorder.

    I self-diagnosed with this. I have relatively mild acne, but when I break out, I feel monstrously ugly. I won't see my boyfriend, leave the house (unless I have to), etc. If I look in the mirror, I don't just see my acne--I look like an alien to myself. I look like a different person. People have assured me that it's no big deal, and I've been accused of being vain before, but it's 100% about an insecurity that is blown wildly out of proportion.

    This comes and leaves in waves.

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    God/dess ahmeerah's Avatar
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    Default Re: I feel deformed.

    I think Oprah had a show all about this a few years ago. If this is extreme, it can be really debilitating. If it's just a random, occassional occurance - I think it happens to all of us at one time or another. When I used to get bloated, I wouldn't leave the house.

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    Moderator charlie61's Avatar
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    Default Re: I feel deformed.

    Mine used to be debilitating. I'd obsess over my acne for hours (obsessive thoughts, etc). When outside, all I could think about was how people were looking at me, and all they could see was my acne.

    After recognizing my problem, I started taking Inositol, and working on my self-esteem. I'm doing much better now (usually).

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    God/dess VegasPrincess's Avatar
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    Default Re: I feel deformed.

    ^^^

    It's REALLY debilitating to me. I should probably look into getting some help to be honest.
    Sexy Jasmine after getting fucked over at work:

    God loves strippers and when guys do things like that its an automatic ticket to HELL!


    Quote Originally Posted by anomar View Post
    Perhaps you stopped spending money on her. Strippers need money to operate. They are like coin operated juke-boxes of love.

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    Moderator charlie61's Avatar
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    Default Re: I feel deformed.

    ^^ If your problem concerns an eating disorder, it isn't BDD. Just a side note. That's a separate disorder.

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    Featured Member kandie_kitten's Avatar
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    Default Re: I feel deformed.

    I have this problem, and it's the only time my boyfriend gets angry with me.

    I have some extra weight. Probably about 15 lbs overweight...but in no way obese.

    But the thought of going out, especially if we're going out with pretty friends, KILLS me. I've actually burst into tears and begged to stay home because I felt so ugly, and that people would stare at me.

    He doesn't get it, thinks I'm being a drama queen. It's bad.

  16. #16
    God/dess ViolaStrings's Avatar
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    Default Re: I feel deformed.

    I feel this way about the bone structure of my face, which I know in my logical mind is not perfect but by NO MEANS horrible. Even with my chin implant my chin is recessed, my cheeks are COMPLETELY flat, and you can tell where my chin implant ends and the angles of my jaw are just wrong. I'm actually saving up to get custom cheek-chin-jaw angle implants made from an MRI, get the old chin implant taken out AND a nose job at the same time. It's going to be about $25,000. That's half the money I need to start law school and quit dancing. I don't feel like my life will be right or complete until my face is perfect. It's debilitating. I wish I could just move on with my life and not care. I make tons of money as a dancer... I have a gorgeous, loving boyfriend.... why can't I stop hating my face?

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    Moderator charlie61's Avatar
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    Default Re: I feel deformed.

    ^^ Right there with ya. My left eye is slightly larger than my right eye, and it makes me crazy. Little shit like that.

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    God/dess Sophia_Starina's Avatar
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    Default Re: I feel deformed.

    I feel this way. I haven't been working for the past three months because I feel un-hireable. Like no club would ever hire me because I am so fugly.

    I haven't been leaving the house much either. I don't want to go outside because I'm afraid people are looking at me because I am freakishly hideous.

    Luckily, some SW Ladies got me out of the house recently. I had a great time, but when people aren't around I become a shut in. I refuse to go anywhere alone. Not too long ago, in August, I spent two and a half weeks in my house... never stepping out once. Not even on the balcony.

    Usually when I do need to run errands or go to an appointment of some sort, I look straight at the ground, avoid peoples gazes, and wear the biggest fucking sunglasses I can find. I try and get stuff done on days when it's raining, just so I can hide under an umbrella and most people are in a rush, so they don't look at me.

    So yeah, no.speak, I get where you are coming from 100%.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jay12 View Post
    ^What Sophia said.
    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post
    I wish there was an "auto-like" setting that I could just have applied to all of your posts Sophia....

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    Featured Member redhothoney's Avatar
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    Default Re: I feel deformed.

    I know the media makes it a million times harder to let the little flaws go. I mean I think of the dove commerical with the little girl watching all the model adds, and I feel like the little girl DAMNIT why can't I look like that?! We are victims of self destructing media ads leading us to believe if we have one little flaw we aren't good enough. I hate that it's something we just can't get rid of, I hope that you can get your issue of not wanting to leave the house resolved, because you think that you are hedious. Your mind is lying to you, and almost all of us have some lying ass minds! But not wanting to leave the house, I bet you are pretty where do you live Hollywood is everyone in your grocery store a barbie?! I would want to get out of the house: get a new look, get out of the rut, meet with friends for some fun, and try to move on. That's the only way I think your going to get out of this depression. I think you should start slowly, and work your way up. Go to the pharmacy, then the grocery store, then the mall, then out with friends, etc.
    REDHOTHONEY

    Quote Originally Posted by MichelleJade View Post
    In my opinion, there are no normal strippers though... it's like a bag of jelly beans, they're all made of sugar but come in all different colors and flavors. (I think I'd be the root beer kind... mmmmm.)

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    God/dess VegasPrincess's Avatar
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    Default Re: I feel deformed.

    Quote Originally Posted by charlie61 View Post
    ^^ If your problem concerns an eating disorder, it isn't BDD. Just a side note. That's a separate disorder.
    Crap. What is it? I feel like I am recoverd from my ED in the sense that I don't starve or purge anymore.

    Any ideas or reccommendations towards a diagnosis or help?

    Or is just left over crap from my EDS?
    Sexy Jasmine after getting fucked over at work:

    God loves strippers and when guys do things like that its an automatic ticket to HELL!


    Quote Originally Posted by anomar View Post
    Perhaps you stopped spending money on her. Strippers need money to operate. They are like coin operated juke-boxes of love.

  21. #21
    Senior Member no.speak's Avatar
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    Default Re: I feel deformed.

    ^ I think EDs are like being an addict. You never really get over them (at least not easy...). I mean, I've stopped some of the behaviors, but I still THINK in the same way and I still SEE myself the way I did when I was engaging in these behaviors.

    Also, you could have BDD as well as the eating disorders. It's pretty common.

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    God/dess ViolaStrings's Avatar
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    Default Re: I feel deformed.

    ^ it seems like you would have to have BDD to get an ED.

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    Default Re: I feel deformed.

    Quote Originally Posted by charlie61 View Post
    Research BDD-- Body Dysmorphic Disorder.

    I self-diagnosed with this. I have relatively mild acne, but when I break out, I feel monstrously ugly. I won't see my boyfriend, leave the house (unless I have to), etc. If I look in the mirror, I don't just see my acne--I look like an alien to myself. I look like a different person. People have assured me that it's no big deal, and I've been accused of being vain before, but it's 100% about an insecurity that is blown wildly out of proportion.

    This comes and leaves in waves.
    Also known as Body Dysmorphia.

    & I too self-diagnosed with this. & it's still a day to day struggle. there are times when i feel as if i am most definitly the ugliest woman on the planet. i HATE taking pictures... with a passion. any physical picture of me usually ends up ripped up in the garbage. i will spend hours in the mirror, trying anything & everything to fix what's "wrong." it use to be nose, i got a nose job, now it's my forehead. and my lips. & my cheeks. and my shoulders.... there are days when i refuse to look in the mirror.

    i am very insecure about having bdd, which is the reason why i haven't sought any help. people already call me vain/conceited/cocky... but, that couldn't be further from the truth. i come across that way, because i'd die if anyone really knew how i felt about myself physically. it's embarrassing. especially with all the serious issues of the world.

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    Default Re: I feel deformed.

    Quote Originally Posted by ViolaStrings View Post
    ^ it seems like you would have to have BDD to get an ED.
    Not really. I had anorexia and it wasn't about food or my appearance at all. It was about control. I would start getting really angry at my mother, so I'd stop eating for a few days until I'd pass out. "That'll show HER!" was kind of my mentality. I got really angry at my military supervisor once and pulled that, and I ended up hospitalized (and she said I couldn't have a day off!).

    Another thing is that many EDs are a form of self-destructive behavior. It's not about getting skinny--it's about trying to kill yourself slowly. While an ED can sometimes be related to BDD, it's not always the case.

  25. #25
    Senior Member no.speak's Avatar
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    Default Re: I feel deformed.

    ^ I would use it to punish people too. I still do.....

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