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Thread: What I find hard about this job...

  1. #1
    God/dess Bella21's Avatar
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    Default What I find hard about this job...

    I've been having issues with finding a good middle ground with playing stupid. Obviously, I have to dumb myself down enough to seem interested in the customer and keep conversation on a light airy level... yet I have to seem like I have enough gray matter to minimize the "tricks" (like trying to rope me into a free and long conversation or try to rip me off on what they owe me). I'm starting to wonder if this is burn-out or if I'm so disdainful of these guys that my stripping days are nearing an end. Sometimes I'm worried that my attitude of, "Shut up and pay me, you dumbass" is showing up on my face. Or, maybe I'm just being overly paranoid? I can giggle and make small talk when they're normal customers who don't take any extra energy...
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

  2. #2
    God/dess ViolaStrings's Avatar
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    Default Re: What I find hard about this job...

    When I get this way, I just stop giving a fuck and overanalyzing and let myself be myself (but nicer, obviously). It usually works.

  3. #3
    God/dess Sophia_Starina's Avatar
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    Default Re: What I find hard about this job...

    Quote Originally Posted by Bella21 View Post
    I've been having issues with finding a good middle ground with playing stupid. Obviously, I have to dumb myself down enough to seem interested in the customer and keep conversation on a light airy level... yet I have to seem like I have enough gray matter to minimize the "tricks" (like trying to rope me into a free and long conversation or try to rip me off on what they owe me). I'm starting to wonder if this is burn-out or if I'm so disdainful of these guys that my stripping days are nearing an end. Sometimes I'm worried that my attitude of, "Shut up and pay me, you dumbass" is showing up on my face. Or, maybe I'm just being overly paranoid? I can giggle and make small talk when they're normal customers who don't take any extra energy...
    Use the dumb-down conversation to your benefit. A strip club is not the place to get into a lengthy philosophical discussion.

    Guy: So what do you think about X?
    You: All I'm thinking about right now is getting naked ... *sexy face, giggle, soft moan, ravenous stare, or what ever fits*
    Quote Originally Posted by Jay12 View Post
    ^What Sophia said.
    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post
    I wish there was an "auto-like" setting that I could just have applied to all of your posts Sophia....

  4. #4
    Veteran Member davka's Avatar
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    Default Re: What I find hard about this job...

    Bella, I have the same problem. The hardest part of dancing for me is pretending to be interested in the guys and their boring conversations/lives. It's so hard for me. At the end of the night, I feel very disassociated from all the fakery. Honestly, that's the part of most service industry jobs that kills me.

    Someguys might like your "shut up and pay me you dumbass" energy.

    Honestly, guys be falling in love with the smart girl archetype. So try a few nights of being totally you and see what happens.
    Originally Posted by ViolaStrings
    I get turned around when my boyfriend does the helicockter. I'm totally visual.

    http://www.davkadeergirl.com


  5. #5
    Bianca O'Blivion
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    Default Re: What I find hard about this job...

    Shit, the hard part for me is not hitting someone over the head with a chair when they go over the line- everything else is cake. I can see where not wanting to be percieved as dumb can annoy though. Look at it this way- you just need to be "sharp" enough to take his money, by any and all means possible.

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    Default Re: What I find hard about this job...

    I was feeling like that recently. Whenever my hustle seems a little stale I find that reading sales books helps me get motivated. I really like Joe Girard's How to Sell Anything to Anybody. I was feeling the same way, like the custys could see that I was all about selling dances. I was rushing to close. I recommend Girard's book, especially the chapter "The Mooch is a Human Being" because it helps you look at the selling process from the custy's point of view. Last week was my best week in a while and I think it has a lot to do with rethinking my approach.

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    God/dess Paris's Avatar
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    Default Re: What I find hard about this job...

    If you are playing dumb, it is pretty easy to jump up and run away at any time. For instance if he starts into some monologue about the tax code or proper grip on a golf club, you could get this shocked look on your face and shout "OMG! That's my music!" and jump up and run to the DJ booth.

    Then dash right back and apologize, get a yes or no on dances/VIP. If he says no, then just say "Ok, well bye". Then wander over to the next table.


    Promote yourself and earn more money! This is a business that is owned by strippers for strippers. Let's make that money!


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  9. #8
    Bianca O'Blivion
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    Default Re: What I find hard about this job...

    You also have to remember the SC interaction is not conventional by any means and in no way does the random customer's evaluation of you matter. You are a different person than the one the customer percieves.

    In fact, by extenuation, you could say that about being a woman, that the state of being feminine causes everyone to see you through different facets, basically, What are they getting out of you?

    In general, all salespeoples are 'whores." Sex workers just live with the big Scarlet Letter.

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    Featured Member Kalligirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: What I find hard about this job...

    I don't know, I've had guys before tell me to shut up and dance when I try to have conversations with them and be 'myself'. (not that rude) I got turned down from a CR once cause I was "too intellecutal"

    Sophia's approach works to, given the dude really into you. Sometimes talking very very dirty works very very well. My friend and I play games sometimes. She'll pull me over to a guy and be like "Can you BELIEVE HIS WIFE DOES NOT SUCK HIS DICK?" And I'll be all aghast like, !?!?!? OMG, I Love sucking dick. You poor thing....... etc etc

    Sometimes, the more I try NOT to guess how to act, and just act however I want which is usually demanding and slightly pretentious , it works. Guys can read vibes. If you are trying to hard to appeal to his taste, he can smell phony. I think most guys would rather have a woman act herself, then come off fake.

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    God/dess Bella21's Avatar
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    Default Re: What I find hard about this job...

    I want to thank EVERYONE for their input... it wasn't even so much the advice so much that I realized I wasn't alone with this problem. I was worried that I was a freak. Keep the posts coming! Work was a million times easier for some reason. I tried not to sweat it and put my energy into what they seemed to want instead of how awkward I felt.
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

  12. #11
    Veteran Member davka's Avatar
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    Default Re: What I find hard about this job...

    Bella, I wish somebody would do some serious statistical investigation of spenders in the club- like who spends more- the guys who want the dumb, play-acting or the ones who like to spar intellectually with a smart girl. Maybe this kind of thing is just unquantifiable? I have seen dancers acting smart and intelligent downright casting a spell on men. Then again, Paris is right- playing dumb can cut down on the conversation and time spent talking. haha
    Originally Posted by ViolaStrings
    I get turned around when my boyfriend does the helicockter. I'm totally visual.

    http://www.davkadeergirl.com


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    Senior Member seishibella's Avatar
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    Default Re: What I find hard about this job...

    Honestly, I think by being "me" when I danced was probably a turn off or guys got the wrong idea. Most of them wanted to date me or they were like whoa and were not interested, it's always one extreme or the other. I found when I acted ditzy I did make more money and spent less energy talking them into a CR. It was more so they perceived me as easy and not a challenge and liked it that way, though in reality I'm a big prude. LOL!

    Not all guys are like that but the ones that are there to spend money really are more simple like that, they want to drink have some fun and see naked women and I'm not about to stop them with my in depth convos, it just stops up the party momentum.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    Living in Sin around Eden's Trim

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    Senior Member IvoryDancer's Avatar
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    Default Re: What I find hard about this job...

    If anyone wants a good fun example of playing the sweet dumb blond who turns things around to her advantage, watch "Gentlemen Prefer Blonds" by Marilyn Monroe.

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    Default Re: What I find hard about this job...

    Quote Originally Posted by IvoryDancer View Post
    If anyone wants a good fun example of playing the sweet dumb blond who turns things around to her advantage, watch "Gentlemen Prefer Blonds" by Marilyn Monroe.
    OMG I love "Lorelei Lee" she is one of the best smart 'dumb blonde' I've ever seen. Even if she is a fictional character

  16. #15
    Featured Member saphire123456's Avatar
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    Default Re: What I find hard about this job...

    Quote Originally Posted by BohemianSiren View Post
    I absolutely cannot play stupid. I. cannot. do. it. More power to those that can - I know I could make a killing if I did the same.

    If making money is your number one priority, then continue to play dumb. For me, it's not worth it. I'd rather sacrifice my earnings than appear slow or uneducated. Nothing upsets me more than being patronized or looked down upon for lack of intelligence. Honest to God, though, I wish I could suck it up and act like a ditz. If it simply annoyed me, I could do it, but it doesn't - it truly makes me feel like less of a human being. I can deal with people thinking I'm a slut for being a stripper, but I cannot deal with them thinking that I'm an idiot.
    since making money is my # 1 priority, (what the hell else am i there for) i think there's a type of ditzy mentioned above that might work for you. Personally i don't mind acting stupid as long as i'm getting paid. and since i'm not in a habit of sitting with guys for free, that is usually all the time. You are there to be their fantasy so you don't have to act ditzy all the time, but it turns out that in 80% of my interactions thats the best route to take, cause god forbid the stripper is smarter then the custy. the other perk to twirling your hair annd giggling is that its easier to Always Be Selling from that standpoint. Its hard to squeeze a CR out of a long philosophical discussion. Once you're in the CR however, you can let your true collors show if ou wanted to. Anyway, what i'm trying to say is that its better to be a multifaceted stripper that can adjust her game according to the type of customer than a one trick pony that insists on showing off her intelligence at the expense of her income.
    These days I like to count my money. I like to wash it delicately and iron it. Sometimes I dry it with some bounty to make it all nice and cuddly. I love my money... did I say that out loud?

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    Default Re: What I find hard about this job...

    Quote Originally Posted by saphire123456 View Post
    Anyway, what i'm trying to say is that its better to be a multifaceted stripper that can adjust her game according to the type of customer than a one trick pony that insists on showing off her intelligence at the expense of her income.
    Thanks for this reminder. It seems like doing this would be more challenging, but A LOT more profitable; and something I haven't quite figured out how to do yet.

    As for acting dumb, thus far I've completely avoided playing into that simple-minded, ditzy archetype. I feel like customers might try to take advantage of the fact that I appear stupid. Moreover, smart & confident girls get fucked with far less, from what I've seen, in and out of the club. I tone it down to not be intimidating, but I have to be true to myself on this. I'm not stupid and will never pretend to be.

  18. #17
    Veteran Member ScarletPhoenix's Avatar
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    Default Re: What I find hard about this job...

    Here's what I do before work: watch "The Girls Next Door." I'm serious. Holly and Bridget are obviously smart. Some of the comments and observations they make are a testament to that. And they don't "play dumb" so much as tailor everything that comes out of their mouth in such a way that it would never threaten a male. It's hard to explain. It's just something you have to witness. When I try to emulate their behavior, I get good results.

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    Default Re: What I find hard about this job...

    ^^^
    Yeah, it's true. Bridgette is ALWAYS smiling and bubbly. She's smart but she looks ditzy cause of how smiley and bouncy she is. Smiling goes a long way.

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