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Thread: Did I do the right thing?

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    Featured Member Kaiyla's Avatar
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    Default Did I do the right thing?

    Quick necessary preface: I have a regular 9-5 office job, so we'll call my boss from that job Employer 1.
    On weekends and I take care of the child of a high-profile (ugh sorry, that sounds snobby but I don't know how to word it better ) celeb couple. So basically, I have two employers. We'll call these people Employer 2.
    Today Employer 1 from my office job, sends me an instant message (she works from home, so she contacts us a lot this way). This is a copy of the IM:

    Boss: do u know (name of Employer 2)
    Me: yes
    Boss: can u get (her grandson's name) an autograph?
    Me: I don't know..I could try. I can never predict when (Employer 2) is going to be around. If I see him in the near future, I could def try though.
    Boss: ok pls try.....cuz my little guy wants one
    Me: ok but...the thing is, even when I do see (Employer 2), I get a little nervous to ask him for autographs and pics sometimes, only b/c I feel funny doing that in their homes, you know? My Dad wants a pic of (Employer 2) for when I come home at xmas and I get nervous to even ask them for that!
    Boss: okay...
    Boss: sometimes easier to get stuff for kids
    Me: I hate saying that, it makes me feel bad! I just get a little hesitant to ask them for pics/autographs. I know. That sucks.
    Boss: i know
    Me: I'm sorry! I feel embarassed
    Boss: okay nevermind

    So at this point, I feel totally uncomfortable and ready to crawl out of my skin. I had to edit the IM it for privacy reasons, but I should also point out that Employer 1 is requesting a very specific autograph of Employer 2 in costume from something he did YEARS ago.
    On the other hand, I have a Christmas bonus in the near future, and I don't know how big a part this plays into things since employer 1 is know for being kinda grudg-y. For this reason, against my better judgement (but to protect my ass), I sent Employer 1 this IM:

    Me: Before I leave today, I hope you're not upset with me. I want to do it and if the opportunity presents itself, I promise I will grow a pair and take advantage of it..
    Boss: okay..just say it's for a kid..he'll do it for a kid..or ask him if his agent has pics..they usually do
    Me: ok will try for it then
    Boss: okay..thx..he'll do it for a kid

    Ugh, nothing like being put on the spot. I want to appease her but, I feel it would be unprofessional for me to be randomly pestering Employer 2 for autographs. I feel uncomfortable asking them for things they get asked for OUTSIDE their home all of the time, especially since they are always on the go, super-busy, and super-stressed when I see them. It doesn't "fit" into what my job/duties are when I am there. So awkward.

    My question is, did I do the right thing? What would you have said/done? How do you read her "tone" in the Ims?
    I just feel really uncomfortable and somehow embarrassed right now. I feel like I need approval that I said the right thing, because I feel like I let her down.

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    God/dess CKXXX's Avatar
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    Default Re: Did I do the right thing?

    Does Emp 1 have the pic she wants signed or does Emp 2 need to provide that too? If Emp 1 has it...and you get the chance..take that and the pic for your dad and ask Emp 2 if they would MIND signing it and that you will be happy to pay for their autograph(unless they are a jerk they prob wont make you,but it makes you seem less like you are asking a favor)

    Of course I'm now DYING to know who it is!!!

    and it was very rude of Emp 2 to put you on the spot like that

    Quote Originally Posted by lexilou View Post
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    Featured Member Kaiyla's Avatar
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    Default Re: Did I do the right thing?

    ^Thank you, that's what I thought too

    Oh, and Emp 1 wants Emp 2 to dig the old pic up too, or as she said, his "agent" to dig one up, then give it to him, have him sign it, then hold it to give it to me.
    If she only knew how short and child-related all my interactions with Emp 2 are. It involves none of this stuff. I'm the part-time nanny, not a buddy, lol.

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    God/dess Paris's Avatar
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    Default Re: Did I do the right thing?

    Can you fake an autograph for employer #1? I'm sure there must be something out there on the internet with an autographed item from employer #2 (especially if he's in the sports or music biz). Only do this if you think employer #1 really will keep the item and not sell it or try to trade it at a memorabilia show or something. Otherwise your forgery will be obvious, and that wouldn't be good for your day job.


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    Featured Member Kaiyla's Avatar
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    Default Re: Did I do the right thing?

    ^hmmmmmmm, scheme-y, but considerable...

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    Default Re: Did I do the right thing?

    Your boss shouldn't have put you on the spot like that in the first place. It's unprofessional to ask your employee to do something like that.
    Also. The fact that she kept insisting "He'll do it for a kid" seems to imply that she expects you to get this done... despite your insistance that it might not be doable.
    Quote Originally Posted by camille27 View Post
    i am losing my fucking mind and i really just want this chloroform dream because i think that would just get me right with jesus.

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    God/dess ViolaStrings's Avatar
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    Default Re: Did I do the right thing?

    Your boss lady is a cunt and totally unprofessional to expect that from you.

    Just say you asked and they said no and got mad at you.

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    Featured Member Kaiyla's Avatar
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    Default Re: Did I do the right thing?

    I could. Saying they said "no, not right now, it's a very busy moment" or something like that might get the point across that she's putting me out by asking this, and yes I agree it is an unprofessional request on her part.

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    God/dess DesuvsDeath's Avatar
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    Default Re: Did I do the right thing?

    Quote Originally Posted by ViolaStrings View Post
    Your boss lady is a cunt and totally unprofessional to expect that from you.

    Just say you asked and they said no and got mad at you.
    Haha. Seconded. Boss lady is a TOTAL cunt.
    Quote Originally Posted by camille27 View Post
    i am losing my fucking mind and i really just want this chloroform dream because i think that would just get me right with jesus.

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    Featured Member saphire123456's Avatar
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    Default Re: Did I do the right thing?

    Quote Originally Posted by Paris View Post
    Can you fake an autograph for employer #1? I'm sure there must be something out there on the internet with an autographed item from employer #2 (especially if he's in the sports or music biz). Only do this if you think employer #1 really will keep the item and not sell it or try to trade it at a memorabilia show or something. Otherwise your forgery will be obvious, and that wouldn't be good for your day job.
    i think thats a great idea, that way everyone is happy
    These days I like to count my money. I like to wash it delicately and iron it. Sometimes I dry it with some bounty to make it all nice and cuddly. I love my money... did I say that out loud?

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    Veteran Member Flaka's Avatar
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    Default Re: Did I do the right thing?

    You should definitely say you asked and they said not right now, and that they were a little upset and said they need to talk to you in private later when they get time. Then she'll hopefully realize she was out of line and you might get in trouble later when they "talk" to you! Please don't ask employee 2 for the autographed photo. It's unprofessional and kinda tacky and fuck boss 1. You don't owe her shit! Her tone seems pushy in the IM.

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    Default Re: Did I do the right thing?

    If you are on good terms with Emp 1..I say ask. They may not want their rep to suffer by someone spreading the word that they wouldnt do it "even for a kid",which it sounds like boss lady is bitch enough to do. If you have access,ask their agent. They often have pre-signed pics to give out so you wont have to bother Emp 1.

    Quote Originally Posted by lexilou View Post
    "I'll picklepunch you in your twatwaffle!"

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    Veteran Member ultra_manic's Avatar
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    Default Re: Did I do the right thing?

    Quote Originally Posted by ViolaStrings View Post
    Your boss lady is a cunt and totally unprofessional to expect that from you.

    Just say you asked and they said no and got mad at you.
    I agree emp 1 shouldn't have put you one the spot like that.

    Just tell Emp 1 that you asked and they said no, Emp 1 can't hold a grudge against you for "attempting".
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  14. #14
    jigglinbaby
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    Default Re: Did I do the right thing?

    Can you try being completely honest with your boss and tell her that you simply don't feel comfortable in doing that? Tell her that you'd be compromising your other job with Employer 2 by asking for personal favors, and that you don't wan't to take that risk. Fuck her though, for putting you in that position!

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    Featured Member Brooke's Avatar
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    Default Re: Did I do the right thing?

    Quote Originally Posted by Kaiyla View Post
    Oh, and Emp 1 wants Emp 2 to dig the old pic up too, or as she said, his "agent" to dig one up, then give it to him, have him sign it, then hold it to give it to me.
    No f-ing way

    Presenting a picture and asking someone to take 5 seconds to sign it is one thing. Asking for this is so far out of bounds its taking advantage of you and Employer 2. And if your bonus is in any way affected, it's illegal.

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    Veteran Member BostonGia's Avatar
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    Default Re: Did I do the right thing?

    Quote Originally Posted by jigglinbaby View Post
    Can you try being completely honest with your boss and tell her that you simply don't feel comfortable in doing that? Tell her that you'd be compromising your other job with Employer 2 by asking for personal favors, and that you don't wan't to take that risk. Fuck her though, for putting you in that position!

    ^^ That would have been nice to do ....


    My other thought is maybe a sneaky way to ask Employer 2 , Could you present it like you are just disgusted with Emp 1 ....say something like Omg , I now have so much sympathy for you , you will never believe what my boss just asked me to ...and then tell Emp2 what emp 1 wants and just tell emp2 how embarrassed you are and how uncomfortable emp1 made you by asking ...make it seem like you are telling him but not asking ???? Maybe he will say that he doesnt mind and tell you to call his Agent or soemthing ....they (celebs) either give them out to everyone or no one .....I am sure his agent even has pre signed ones in a huge box under his desk anyways .....

    eeek did any of that make sense ???

    Oh and IF you get it , when you give it to Emp1 you should let her know that she OWES you and you found thing to be rude .


    I agree with everyone that Emp2 is an ass ........super sucky thing to do .
    In Atlanta looking for a new place/club to call my own ... be back in Sarasota from time to time because I love the Cheetah xoxo

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    Featured Member Kaiyla's Avatar
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    Default Re: Did I do the right thing?

    Ugh I'm at the office right now and she called this morning and said "Oh about Emp2's autograph.." and I said, "Yeah I'm sorry. I feel really awkward asking them to do stuff like that in their own home. In the two and a half years that I've worked for them, I've never done that."

    Her response?

    She made like she was joking and said, "you've never once asked for an autograph? Well now would be the time to."

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    Default Re: Did I do the right thing?

    She needs to STOP right NOW.Shes being rude,you already said it makes you uncomfortable...if she continues...is there an HR dpt you can talk to about her?

    Quote Originally Posted by lexilou View Post
    "I'll picklepunch you in your twatwaffle!"

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    Featured Member Kaiyla's Avatar
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    Default Re: Did I do the right thing?

    Thanks. Yeah it's going right up my ass. She's going to be reaaaaally difficult about this. I wish that there was an HR dep but she owns this agency.

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    Default Re: Did I do the right thing?

    Wait, she's an agent and she can't see why this is innaproppriate? If you make a ton of money at the job, I would see if you could buy a photo for like 100 bucks that is atutographed or whatever.....

    You COULD ask him I suppose but.......creepy. Sometimes magazines like Entertainment have ads in the back pages where you can buy autographed memorabilia from.

    Boss lady 1 is a total cunt bag.
    Sexy Jasmine after getting fucked over at work:

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    Default Re: Did I do the right thing?

    just tell her no. not that hard to do, say its really unprofessional, and that she should be able to understand and respect that.

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    Featured Member nicole84's Avatar
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    Default Re: Did I do the right thing?

    tell her no, and emphasize that you really might be jeopardizing your job with Emp 2 if you did ask.

    Sounds like boss 1 is a bitch, and tactless at that

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    Default Re: Did I do the right thing?

    Quote Originally Posted by blayze View Post
    just tell her no. not that hard to do, say its really unprofessional, and that she should be able to understand and respect that.
    Ubsolutely great idea as it sounds very reasonable and it is accurate, after all.

    Except that this is the real world and the OP said employer #1 has a reputation for being vindictive ["grudg-y" as he put it] and would likely wind up in employer #1 putting her under the crosshairs, looking for ways to fire her.

    My advice would be to put employer #1 indirectly on notice. Tell her you made the attempt, as she asked, but it resulted in being admonished and her being placed on probation by employer #2 and she really hopes she doesn't lose said job because she needs the income. Find a way to sneak in a hint about potential liability for said lost income if the action results in her being terminated from job #2.

    That might make boss #1 think twice before pulling any more stunts like that.
    Fiat justitia, pereat mundus.


    BTW, while we are on the subject, is it needed to point out the obvious: That it is just possible that if you are willing to judge the worth of someone simply by what you read on a website about them it might say a whole hell of a lot more about you than it says about the person you are judging?

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    Featured Member Kaiyla's Avatar
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    Default Re: Did I do the right thing?

    Lots of good advice. Thinking of just telling her that I asked for an autograph, and he said, "the timing is a little off, is this something we can do later on?" and never brought it up again, so I felt like a pest bringing it up again. It's a lie but whatever, she's not respecting my honesty about how I feel, so...

  25. #25
    goldengrl69
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    Default Re: Did I do the right thing?

    ITA!!!! that will shut her trap!



    Quote Originally Posted by Golden_Rule View Post
    Ubsolutely great idea as it sounds very reasonable and it is accurate, after all.

    Except that this is the real world and the OP said employer #1 has a reputation for being vindictive ["grudg-y" as he put it] and would likely wind up in employer #1 putting her under the crosshairs, looking for ways to fire her.

    My advice would be to put employer #1 indirectly on notice. Tell her you made the attempt, as she asked, but it resulted in being admonished and her being placed on probation by employer #2 and she really hopes she doesn't lose said job because she needs the income. Find a way to sneak in a hint about potential liability for said lost income if the action results in her being terminated from job #2.

    That might make boss #1 think twice before pulling any more stunts like that.

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