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Thread: stripper bloopers

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    Featured Member mina loy's Avatar
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    Default stripper bloopers

    a regular of mine asked me while we were sitting together if i ever have any "stripper bloopers", as in occasional mishaps onstage and whatnot. here is my resume:

    falling off of the pole
    spinning on the pole and accidentally kicking a guy in the head
    slipping onstage
    accidentally hitting my nose on the pole, causing a nosebleed
    struggling to take off my corset (usually gets a few laughs)
    shoe flying into the audience
    a too-long tampon string peeking out
    in a conversation, a customer asks what i honestly am first attracted to in a guy. my response: "hair." this customer was shaved bald and quickly excused himself. oh well, at least i danced for him before he asked me.

    what are your stripper bloopers?
    [sigpic][/sigpic]
    ......just to feel.....the half-blood prince...

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    Senior Member xsomnambulist's Avatar
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    Default Re: stripper bloopers

    My worst moments were probably the times when:
    1) I broke my glasses on some guy's face, and
    2) said glasses flew off my face and across the club.

    Mmm, wonderful.



  3. #3
    Veteran Member Rockell's Avatar
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    Default Re: stripper bloopers

    I've had clip-in extensions fall out onto a customers lap while in the Champagne Room.

    Broke my shoe while dancing (thankfully in a CR and not on stage) and fell.

    Broken an overhead light in a CR with a guy's belt while whipping him with it.

    Fell and broke a glass end table while giving a dance.

    Fallen on stage numerous times.

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    Default Re: stripper bloopers

    A dancer who had just had a baby and was breastfeeding, fondling her breast on stage (guess she squeezed a nip too) and squirt milk in a customer's face. It was hilarious! I felt bad for her but couldn't help laughing. To top it off the DJ still had the mic on and his laughter boomed out over the speakers followed by the classic "Got Milk"

    Another time, my best friend and I went to work in another city. When we first got there we sat at the bar drinking beers trying to get rid of the new club jitters.
    Well, she started farting due to being nervous, one went too far and she shit her g string sitting on the bar stool. To make matters worse she is wearing a transparent short dress! It was horrible and was even on the bar stool, so I 'm disgusted and laughing at her. Poor girl is mortified and I have to practically attach myself to her ass to block anyone from seeing her as we're walking back to the dressing room. Thank god they had a boutique. I always tell her when she's nervous or scared now not to get the shit scared out of her

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    Featured Member MsClaireVoyant's Avatar
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    Default Re: stripper bloopers

    OMG all these stories make me scared to even audition lmao

  6. #6
    Veteran Member ediblecrayonz's Avatar
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    Default Re: stripper bloopers

    Falling off the pole (a few bumps on the head, a split lip, two broken ribs, and a slipped disk)
    Falling while on stage
    Falling while off stage
    Falling off chairs while doing table dances
    Kicking a customer in the forehead while doing a pole trick (stages were very small)
    Letting out some bad farts
    And losing many, many shoes to the audience.

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    Veteran Member lexi2008's Avatar
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    Default Re: stripper bloopers

    I work for a private company so thank god I get to stay far away from poles! I'm so clumsy I'm sure I would've killed myself by now if not.

    Hmm the ones I've done so far ...

    It was a 2 girl show; my friend and I were crawling and dancing on the bachelor on the floor. We both put our heads down at the same time and flipped them up, not realizing how close we had gotten to each other. We ended up SMACKING our skulls into each other with this awful sound. LOL. At least the custies found it amusing.

    I've been dancing standing up over a guy's lap on a couch wearing my super high super skinny heels. Unbeknownst to me, this entire effing couch RECLINED if you leaned a certain way. Needless to say, it reclined, I lost my balance since there wasn't a wall to catch myself on, and stepped RIGHT on the guy's package with my heel, putting my full weight on him for a minute before I realized where I had stepped. *I* found that one amusing Although he didn't!

    I've been facing away from a guy who was sitting and undoing the clasps on my corset, getting ready to turn around and face him. He had leaned in closer without me knowing so when I whipped off my corset, some of the tiny hooks actually went scraping by on one of his eyeballs! LOL. That's what happens when you get too close I guess? We are apparently hazardous to men's health.
    Originally Posted by MarvelGirl
    I am, however, very concerned about hair syphillis. I can't seem to find any information about this horrible disease caused by high heels. Somebody please, help me out here before I catch it.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    What you think about and thank about, you bring about. xox Lexi

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    Senior Member calicokitten's Avatar
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    Default Re: stripper bloopers

    God I'm so glad we don't have a proper pole.

    The first thing I did after getting hired, before making a cent, was to fall down the stairs. Now that's style!

    I trip while table dancing a lot. Because it's at chairs at tables, I have totally knocked over guys' drinks with my ass. Now I make a big show of pushing their chair back from the table, making sure their drink is away, etc.

    I bop heads or other body parts with customers when dancing. My hair falls in my eyes, so if they suddenly move, I might bash them.

    Oh, once when I was new I tried to sell a CR to the men's room attendant (who was sitting at the bar -- it was understandable I swear). Uggggh.

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    Default Re: stripper bloopers

    ^^I have fallen down the stairs once or twice!

    I'm a very zealous storyteller and once flipped backwards out of my chair trying to demonstrate surprise. Like when you throw your arms in the air? I guess I did it with too much force.

    I also did a really quick spin on the pole, forgot to "spot" so I wouldnt get dizzy, and spun off and away from the pole almost like a top before I fell down! I just sat on the stage for a minute, laughing my ass off at myself. Ah, pity tips.

  10. #10
    Veteran Member davka's Avatar
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    Default Re: stripper bloopers

    haha these are great.

    i went into my favorite dancer's lap from the stage to get a dollar out of her garter with my mouth and when i came up, i hit her very hard in the jaw with my head. it wouldn't have been so bad if i hadn't been completely crushing on her, oh well.

    everyone fears the infamous dingle-berry! lol- the toilet paper balls that get stuck in your lady parts after you pee. i have never had one, but i saw a girl dancing on stage with one and i told her about it. BABY WIPES!!!!
    Originally Posted by ViolaStrings
    I get turned around when my boyfriend does the helicockter. I'm totally visual.

    http://www.davkadeergirl.com


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    Default Re: stripper bloopers

    shoes flying off my feet on stage -

    Custie yanking a little to hard on my itty bitty string top and making me fall on my butt.

    Stepping on a fallen liquor top bottle and falling to my knees

    having baby stripper chicks wig fly off in my lap

    speaking to a man before he sits down and the chair breaking underneath him as he plops down.

    making a very ungraceful exit down the stage stairs.

    ( we have tile floors at work, with the grouted cracks in them - meeting the carpet ) Stepping on one of those cracks and trying to make it look like your bopping along to the tune that's playing.

    Being bent over during a LD and slinging my hair up and cracking some poor shmuck RIGHT in the head as he's trying to pass by..

    stepping on toes in wingtips and not meaning too ..

    I accidentally ripped some guys boxers while giving him a wedgie .. it wouldn't of been so embarrassing if the rip hadn't of been SO LOUD!

    I have long legs - and sometimes I've kneed a gentleman in the shins while trying to unfold my legs from underneath the table.

    Tinging my forehead on the pole while spinning.

    left over toilet paper on the hoo-hoo ( well at least we know I wipe )

    walking around with a paper napkin stuck to my shoe.

  12. #12
    Featured Member mina loy's Avatar
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    Default Re: stripper bloopers

    at my club we all have to parade across the stage first before selling the special. one night i was the first one down the stairs off the stage and fell. thankfully a customer i then sold the dance to was more than ready to help me up.
    [sigpic][/sigpic]
    ......just to feel.....the half-blood prince...

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    Default Re: stripper bloopers

    I constantly bump dudes faces when giving dances. Hahaha, whoops!

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    Featured Member Otoki's Avatar
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    Default Re: stripper bloopers

    Fallen off the pole twice (I salvaged it both times, but the dancers and staff knew I'd fucked up )

    Fallen on stage twice.

    Knocked over a guy's beer during a dance.

    Landed on a guy's balls when I lost my balance.

    Fallen off of a customer during a dance.

    Nosebleed on a customer (allergies made my nostrils super dry and irritated). He got more dances.

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    Veteran Member knp001's Avatar
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    Default Re: stripper bloopers

    sliding down the pole too fast and hitting my finger on the floor (hurts more than you'd think)

    leaving the stage before my set is over

    sitting with guys who are just getting up to leave (i learned always to ask if i could sit down)

    spilling a guy's beer

    oh man I've only been going a month - these are freaking me out!!
    Self-love is not so vile a sin as self-neglect."
    - Shakespeare




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    Veteran Member ultra_manic's Avatar
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    Default Re: stripper bloopers

    I fell down the stairs coming off stage my 2nd or 3rd week dancing

    banging my head on the pole

    going to lean on the pole with my back and missing the pole, I didn't fall but almost and and it was very obvious

    I'm sure there's plenty more but that's all I can think of
    Quote Originally Posted by Emily View Post
    what's the difference between aspirin and a stripper's boyfriend?
    Aspirin works.
    Quote Originally Posted by anomar View Post
    Strippers need money to operate. They are like coin operated juke-boxes of love.
    A text I got:
    When a guy talks dirty to a woman it's sexual harassment, when a woman talks dirty to a man it's $3.95 a minute!


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    Default Re: stripper bloopers

    I'm breastfeeding--and I work in a club where touching is allowed..needless to say, plenty of people have been sprayed.

    You have to walk past the dressing room to get to our CR...guys tend to pop their heads in to catch a glimpse at us while we are getting ready...a poor soul did this the other day obviously expecting something sexy--only to catch a glimpse of me with a breast pump in one hand and a bottle full of the milk I had just pumped in the other...he couldn't help but to look twice.

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    Default Re: stripper bloopers

    breaking thong on stage at a topless only bar

    shoes broke as I was walking downstairs and I continued to slide and bump on my ass all the way down the stairs

    burn hair in candle (I was leaning forward in a loud room and some slipped into the candle jar)

    walk around with one boob hanging out and everyone just staring

    falling off stage and being caught by a custie
    Please don't lick me, it tickles..



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    Veteran Member angelicat's Avatar
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    Default Re: stripper bloopers

    I managed to get the back of my rhinestone chocker entangled in the string from my halter dress. (Naturally, while I was on stage...)Couldn't get it undone, couldn't just pull off the dress OR choker. Literally, completely stuck. Ended up having to cut the dress after letting 4 people try to undo the knot... Dunno how it happened!!

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    Default Re: stripper bloopers

    while standing up onstage and rolling my hips/lower body seductively for a custie the ankle strap on my heels snapped and I fell smack dab on my butt in a riding position. It was so loud everyone heard it and turned to figure out what happened. It sounded like a loud spanking.

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    Banned MoetATL07's Avatar
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    Default Re: stripper bloopers

    Damn near falling off the stage and spraining my ankle.

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    Featured Member Otoki's Avatar
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    Default Re: stripper bloopers

    Quote Originally Posted by knp001 View Post

    leaving the stage before my set is over
    I've done this once. Definitely raises questions from customers

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    Featured Member Otoki's Avatar
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    Default Re: stripper bloopers

    Quote Originally Posted by gypsy_girlchild View Post
    breaking thong on stage at a topless only bar

    shoes broke as I was walking downstairs and I continued to slide and bump on my ass all the way down the stairs

    burn hair in candle (I was leaning forward in a loud room and some slipped into the candle jar)

    walk around with one boob hanging out and everyone just staring

    falling off stage and being caught by a custie
    How did you break your thong??

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    Featured Member Miss_Luscious's Avatar
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    Default Re: stripper bloopers

    Getting stuck at the top of the pole and needing like 5 girls to help me down.

    Walking on stage and immediately having my ankle buckle causing me to fall down 3 seconds into my set.

    Stepping off the edge of the stage while drunk because I thought I had a few more feet of stage left.

    Punching a customer in the face because he touched my kitty (but it really was an accident because I was moving while he was trying to tip me and I didn't notice). It was a reflex!

    Being too drunk to stand up so I just did (horrible, drunken) floor work for an entire set.

    Showing my naked kitty and having a customer comment that I was "milking". I was confused until I looked in the mirror and saw that I had a nice big dollop of discharge hanging out there for all to see (always wipe your pussy before you go on stage!).

    Starting my period on stage and not noticing until AFTER my set was over and there was blood smeared on my thighs.

    Trying to crawl sexily on the stage towards a customer and having my wrist and elbow buckle so that I hit my face on the stage. It must have looked like I just wanted to fuck my face up real quick or something.
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    Banned MoetATL07's Avatar
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    Default Re: stripper bloopers

    ^^LOL

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