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Thread: Depression and Spending $

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    Default Depression and Spending $

    Sometimes when I get depressed I buy things I don't need or really want like its going out of style. I think its the slight satisfaction of bringing something new into my life that lifts me out of the dumps for a little bit. That being said, I don't spend thousands of dollars, maybe a couple hundred. It seriously doesnt help that I have ebay at my fingertips!

    So I have been really depressed lately and moving to a new town has only added circumstantial depression to my chemical disorder. I have been looking at motorcycles all year long, trying to find one in decent condition and well priced. I found one that is clean and the price isn't too bad, but I am less than thrilled about purchasing it. When I first saw it I was doing cartwheels, but now I'm wondering if I only want to buy it because purchasing will temporarily alleviate my emotional troubles. 6K+ is alot to throw away! I feel conflicted. One minute I am so sure I want to buy it, and the next minute I'm hesitating because I can't make sense of my own damn emotions .

    Those of you who also spend when your depressed...How do you tell the difference between something you truly want and something that soothes your emotional pain?

  2. #2
    Star_bare_elegance
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    Default Re: Depression and Spending $

    I do. I blew $3000 on BS just this last month.... I have learned to keep reciepts and return things once I get over the depressed feelings. BEBE and unresearched stocks are my worse enemy :-(. Sometimes the stocks are ok......

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    God/dess Elvia's Avatar
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    Default Re: Depression and Spending $

    I have the same problem. I've found that keeping a budget can help A LOT. Budget a certain amount for "fun shopping" (things you don't *need*, like fancy shower gels or a new pair of shoes). Knowing you only have so much money to work with is hard at first, but once you get into the hang of it,budgeting is kind of fun. It makes you think harder and take the time to think about what you want most, and what you can live without.

    as for the motorcycle, my godmother always told me if you're not sure if you should buy something, then don't buy it. That little tiny feeling that you don't REALLY want it that badly almost always indicates future buyers remorse. Save your money, and I can promise they'll come a time when you find something you know you REALLY want and you'll be glad you did. If you decide later that yes,your certain you really want one, you'll find another one. Don't throw away 6 grand on something you're not certain you really want enough to warrant the cost.

    There's a great book called the Soft Addiction Solution
    http://www.amazon.com/Soft-Addiction.../dp/158542532X

    It covers shopping addiction as well. Basically what it does it help you figure out what you're REALLY looking for in your life that's leading you to soft addictions (like excessive TV watching, internet usage, or shopping) and how to stop the cycle of trying to fulfill that need with your soft addiction, and bring what you really need into your life.

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    Default Re: Depression and Spending $

    I've been told I'm a shopping bulimic. I binge shop and then return a lot of it.

    I'm sure it's an emotional release in some way but I'm still maintaining my budget, LOL. I end up keeping what I know I really want after I take it home and obsess about it for a few days before deciding to return it or not.

    How do I know I really want it? If I take it home and if it sits unused or unworn for a while then it goes back because I can live without it.

    Quote Originally Posted by Star_bare_elegance View Post
    BEBE and unresearched stocks are my worse enemy :-(. Sometimes the stocks are ok......
    Bebe has the worst return policy, so I rarely shop there anymore.


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    God/dess Elvia's Avatar
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    Default Re: Depression and Spending $

    ^^^ Always make sure you're clear on a store's return policy before buying anything, and keep your receipts!

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    Featured Member dangerousdiva's Avatar
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    Default Re: Depression and Spending $

    Quote Originally Posted by Elvia View Post
    ^^^ Always make sure you're clear on a store's return policy before buying anything, and keep your receipts!
    Trust and believe I do. I practically have a filing cabinet for my receipts


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    God/dess ViolaStrings's Avatar
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    Default Re: Depression and Spending $

    I have learned not to buy anything I don't need or only half want, so I CAN buy what I do need and really want. That said, I do have a lot of frivolous, nice things I do enjoy. When I buy clothing, I think in terms of how much I'm going to wear it. Like, a $200 pair of jeans is ok if I wear them constantly, but a $200 dress is not ok if I'm only going to wear it on special occasions (not to say I won't buy the dress for a REALLY special occasion). The less frequently you wear it, the cheaper it should be.

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    Default Re: Depression and Spending $

    I've had that problem too. I had a bad job that was draining me, so I coped by buying. In 2006 Tower Records near my office was going out of business around the same time I was dealing with severe depression at my job (I was being severely abused by various coworkers). It actually helped me deal with it because it got me out of the office for an hour or so. Otherwise I may have gone off on my bullies.

    I think the difference between spending to soothe the pain and something you want is it something you are into? I am into books, dvds, and cds so it was great. Now if it was something I wasn't into (like antiques) then it would be an impulse buy. Also, these were items I would have bought, but because of the sales (most 70% and up) I bought more. I always buy fun things on sales anyways. Things I don't get into I end up giving to someone else. This is why I try to have a clear head while shopping.

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    Default Re: Depression and Spending $

    Do spiritual stuff. I don't mean buy "inner peace candles" or whatever. Join a group, pray, read, write, meditate, go to a yoga class, hang out with friends. I'm serious. Heavy stuff is more filling.

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    Default Re: Depression and Spending $

    I've done this with ebay too. I'd get the thrill browsing, bidding, then I'd be over the item about 5 minutes after it came in the mail. It's helped me to write down all the non-essentials I buy with the dollars spend and then add up the numbers every month or so. I also highlight the items that weren't worth it. Sometimes I guess you just have to force yourself off the computer and do other things instead like watch tv or hang out with friends to stop spending on ebay.

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    Featured Member iambonbon05's Avatar
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    Default Re: Depression and Spending $

    I'm like this. I'm normally pretty frugal but sometimes with tough times I overspend. Like right now I'm away from my boyfriend and my parents are driving me nuts and I'm working a not so great job. I keep having to remind myself I'm making like half of what I was strippng (and I wasn't making that much stripping either!). Which makes me more depressed and makes me want to spend more lol.

    One thing I thought of that may help is writing a wish list, especially of fairly expensive things. If I remind myself that I REALLY want a new camera, it makes it a little easier to put down the awesome jeans.
    Order Avon through my website!


    Quote Originally Posted by madmaxine View Post
    (Being Catholic never truly leaves you. It's a lifelong disease.)
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