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Thread: Anxiety about Sex

  1. #1
    Moderator charlie61's Avatar
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    Default Anxiety about Sex

    It's kinda complicated.

    I haven't had sex yet (I'm 20 years old). I grew up in a house where sex was always a very medicalized topic. We always talked very openly about it, but it was never discussed as a pleasurable activity. I basically knew about STD's before I knew about sex (my mom is a doctor). I think this is why I've grown up so distanced from sexual contact.

    When I think about having sex, it isn't enjoyable to me. I get myself off well and often, and I fantasize about sex, but it's hard for me to connect to people physically and really just let myself go in the real world.

    Because of this, it's easier for me to feel things physically when I'm with someone I don't care very much about than if I'm with someone I love (I explain this like going on a rollercoaster ride. You get a much bigger 'thrill' if you can't see the drops in front of you than if you know they're coming. If you're allowed to think about it before it happens, then it's less physically intense.) So when I'm with someone I care about, I analyze the situation more, and it's less enjoyable.

    I'm not really looking for other virgins out there. But do any of you have feelings of anxiety/reluctance when it comes to sexual contact? Problems letting yourself be in the moment? Etc.? Looking for any and all information/advice/anecdotes!

  2. #2
    Veteran Member jennahoff's Avatar
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    Default Re: Anxiety about Sex

    In order for me to enjoy sex i must be with someone i love.
    weird but true.
    Ive never been one for one night stands or fuck buddies(nothing wrong with it)
    i just have to love the person in order for it to feel good for me.

    I sometimes still have probs relaxing when it comes to sex.
    a few glasses of wine or beer usually helps immensely.
    ~jenna~

  3. #3
    Senior Member Butrcup98's Avatar
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    Default Re: Anxiety about Sex

    Is this with men and women? I agree with Jenna. Being with someone you love definitely makes a difference.

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    Veteran Member kellyallstar's Avatar
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    Default Re: Anxiety about Sex

    Nothing better than being with someone you love.

    However, I've had a few great fuck buddies tooo....I guess its a trust thing.

    Im not into one night stands.
    I'm here to make money. NOT make friends, if I make a friend then it's a bonus.

    I'd rather be absolutely ridiculous that absolutely boring

    Quote Originally Posted by mediocrity View Post
    I don't hate men. I hate everyone equally.
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    Kelly you're so raunchy, but in a proper way.
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    Dude, it's not her "world" it's her job. It's not some sort of Pavlovian trance that dancers go into when they smell money, it's simply how they make a living.

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    Veteran Member Rockell's Avatar
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    Default Re: Anxiety about Sex

    Quote Originally Posted by charlie61 View Post
    Because of this, it's easier for me to feel things physically when I'm with someone I don't care very much about than if I'm with someone I love (I explain this like going on a rollercoaster ride. You get a much bigger 'thrill' if you can't see the drops in front of you than if you know they're coming. If you're allowed to think about it before it happens, then it's less physically intense.) So when I'm with someone I care about, I analyze the situation more, and it's less enjoyable.
    I have this same exact problem. I find that I have a hard time relax and letting my thoughts and anxiety go during sex. Alcohol usually solves that problem for me because it relaxes me and helps me think less, but I've found it even harder to enjoy sex when I'm not drinking.

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