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Thread: should i tell her ? please help

  1. #1
    God/dess krchab99's Avatar
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    Default should i tell her ? please help

    I made a realy good friend here finnaly and shes great. Her husband is not home he is out training and last nite i got a some txts from him that put me in bad postion i don't know what to do the txt convo went like this:

    Him: wanna send me some dirty pics lol can be our secret lol

    me lol your crazy

    him: so whats the answer please be yes

    me: i don't think so lol

    him : can i ask you a question ?

    me: sure

    Him: do you want to fuck me I mean r u atracted to me in a sexual way

    me : I don't know how to answer that beckys not here for me to ask her whta i can say.

    him: Just between us i want to know for my self

    me: I think your attracticive ( i said that so he won't feel bad or akward)

    him:cool thank for being honest ive always wantd to fuck you but even more scince the toehr night and you were wearing that sexy dress i wanted 2 rape you.

    me: what dress

    him: the one you weraring the other nite when we came over

    me: o the pink with the cherrys on it thnks good to know

    him:ys it was very cute and sexy well i m going back to sleep now thanks for answering questions just betewwn us.

    okay now you have to understand it is normal for me and this couple to tease and flirt around but whats bothering me is the just beteween us thing i tell my friend everything he txts me and clearly he dose not want me to tell her he txtd those things. Should i just let it go and not say anyting to not create drama and akwardness or should i tell her. I realy feel stuck here becuse she is always worried he will do things behing her back and this kinda proves he will.
    Last edited by krchab99; 10-28-2008 at 10:23 AM.

  2. #2
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    Default Re: should i tell her ? please help

    be a good friend- tell her. it's better she knows this now and her instincts are proven right than have her find out a much harder way.

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    Default Re: should i tell her ? please help

    Ok, it's one thing if he was just a bit flirty, there are ways of handling that and i was about to give you some tips, but this dude said "I wanted to RAPE you" - WTF????!

    Trust me that isn't just alarm bells, that is alarm sirens, claxons and great bloody sonic booms! Seriously, tell this woman that her husband has been highly inappropriate, tell this guy to leave you alone and stay the hell away from them both. Seriously not worth the drama.

    I'm sorry, i know how tough it can be to make good friends, but you need to protect yourself in more ways than one and this just sounds like a situation you'd be wise to extricate yourself from before something really bad happens.

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    God/dess Corgan's Avatar
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    Default Re: should i tell her ? please help

    imo you egged him on. i would talk/text him that you don't think that type of chatter is apropriate and not to do it again or you will tell his girl.

    are you into him??? really. that convo sounds like you could be.

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    Veteran Member modlgrl's Avatar
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    Default Re: should i tell her ? please help

    I would not say anything- you told him you thought he was attractive- and this could be misleading.

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    Default Re: should i tell her ? please help

    I don't think you handled it well at all, you did pretty much egg him on, however hindsight is a wonderful thing.
    If it was me I'd probably sit on it for a bit, and make it very clear you are not interested in him at all if he approaches you again. He may have been under the influence of something, maybe he's just a jerk, in any case most women don't really appreciate their friend giving them bad news about their boyfriend having affairs. This case is even more shaky since her boyfriend was just "harmlessly" flirting and continued with the flirting when you, "a friend", played along and encouraged the game.
    I fear telling her will just cause problems with your friendship.

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    Member evalicious's Avatar
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    Default Re: should i tell her ? please help

    i wouldn't say anything either...especially if u say it's normal for u 2 to tease and flirt. just do the right thing and 1. don't text flirty messages again, u don't want anything in writing. 2. avoid talking about 'fucking' because things do and will get out of control even if it dosn't seem like it right now.

    just stop everything now and try to remain friends...think about if u were married and how u would feel if ur husband were writing texts like that. it might all be innocent but i think u know what u should do.

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    Featured Member Perry's Avatar
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    Default Re: should i tell her ? please help

    I think she has a right to be pissed at both of you. You kept saying lol and responding even as he got more inappropriate.

    But you should tell her before he has a chance to. I mean, he can just delete the incriminating messages and save your flirty ones to show her and save his ass. By the time she confronts you, she'll be too pissed to hear your side of the story.

    Just my 2 cents.

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    God/dess pookie's Avatar
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    Default Re: should i tell her ? please help

    you should text him back and explain how you feel.




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    God/dess krchab99's Avatar
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    Default Re: should i tell her ? please help

    Thank you guys for being honest with me i can always count on sw for that and i agree that my responses were misleading. However i idid tell her what happend caucse like perry said it was better to tell her first and she was suprisinly okay with it and she was glad i came to her with it.

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    Featured Member veronicachick's Avatar
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    Default Re: should i tell her ? please help

    why would you even answer him when he asks if you would fuck him? did that not rasie red flags?

    I would never ever let a friend's bf talk to me like that... and I would immediately tell her about it. but since you kinda played into his "dirty talk" and even went as far as saying you find him attractive then maybe it's best you don't even bring this up.

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    Veteran Member Flaka's Avatar
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    Default Re: should i tell her ? please help

    Wow i'm sorry but you are wrong for doing your friend like that! You're asking should you tell her about her man, but you need to tell her about yourself. It's seems to me like you do kinda like him in a sexual way. if you can, I think you should cut them both out because who knows what could happen between you and her man in the future.

    Since you said you already told her about the situation, you should let her read the texts, just so she knows the whole story.

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    Default Re: should i tell her ? please help

    Well I was in this situation but i turned out it was my F***KING friend that was txting me to see how id react (end of our friendship)..

    i no u said that your friends no's u txt each other... but does she no u find him "attractive" type of txt each other. if that makes sence.

    its just him saying its between you and him & making a huge deal out of it. hmmm just becarefull xx

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    Default Re: should i tell her ? please help

    Quote Originally Posted by Corgan View Post
    imo you egged him on. i would talk/text him that you don't think that type of chatter is apropriate and not to do it again or you will tell his girl.

    are you into him??? really. that convo sounds like you could be.
    i second that. you should have told the douche to fuck off then call your friend immediately. now if you tell her he can turn it back on you like you were the one initiating everything.

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    God/dess ViolaStrings's Avatar
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    Default Re: should i tell her ? please help

    It could totally just be your friend testing you. I agree with that.

    I also agree with everyone that since this is your friend's HUSBAND you should have put the breaks on. Not that I'm anyone to be preaching about husband stealing...

    But why would you and your friend's husband be texting anyways? Are you into him?

  16. #16
    God/dess krchab99's Avatar
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    Default Re: should i tell her ? please help

    I looked at everytihng i txtd and i agree with everyone that i am guilty of leading him on a bit however i last nite she came over i showd her all the txts and things are fine with me and her.

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    God/dess pookie's Avatar
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    Default Re: should i tell her ? please help

    ^^ thats good she knows then. and she and her husband swingers? is that why she doesnt mind so much?




  18. #18
    God/dess ViolaStrings's Avatar
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    Default Re: should i tell her ? please help

    ^ I think the two women are cool with each other, but the hubby is going to get it!

  19. #19
    God/dess UtahMike's Avatar
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    Default Re: should i tell her ? please help

    ^^ Either that or the hubby hopes to get both of them.

  20. #20
    God/dess hockeybobby's Avatar
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    Default Re: should i tell her ? please help

    Yeah, a swinging good time coming for the krch.

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    Default Re: should i tell her ? please help

    yeah i think it is crucial to inform her

  22. #22
    God/dess krchab99's Avatar
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    Default Re: should i tell her ? please help

    Quote Originally Posted by hockeybobby View Post
    Yeah, a swinging good time coming for the krch.
    lol i love you hb

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