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Thread: What are some of your house rules?

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    Default What are some of your house rules?

    A lot of you know as I was growing up...my mother was usually drunk, or runnin the streets. So as far as discipline...we only got a beating with a cord or shoe or something when we pissed her off. Not necessarily (sp?) bc we did something we knew we shouldnt have done.
    So now...with my girls...I know there are obvious things that they should be reprimanded about, or punished for doing or not doing. But sometimes I feel like... "is it that serious?" or "should I just let that slide?" Sometimes I dont know if Im putting them in the right direction or not. Mostly because even though Ive been a mom for almost 5 years, Im still lost. I didnt have what I want to be..a mother who knows best and only wants the best for my children.
    An example... If Ahrie feels she needs to keep getting up from the table during a meal, I take her dish away. It bothers me that she doesnt sit down,chill out,and eat. Also, if shes been lingering over her barely touched dinner plate and says "Im done, I dont want anymore" am I wrong for not allowing her to eat when bedtime comes around and she complains of hunger? We're talking 45 minutes or so between dinner and bed. If she doesnt like what I cooked (when I know other days she has eaten it) I dont make alternative meals. She can wait til the next meal.
    Also, I HATE repeating myself over and over.Pick up your toys X10 Put your shoes at the door X 10. Should I expect an almost 5 yr. old to do what I say the first time?
    I dunno..sometimes I feel like Im doing such a bad mom,and I get so upset at myself. Sometimes I feel like Im not consistent with her because sometimes I think Im too hard on her. Other times I feel Im not.... ??????
    So what are some rules and consequences you all have, particularly if you have 2 yr. olds and 5 yr. olds...

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    Veteran Member kikidejavu's Avatar
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    Default Re: What are some of your house rules?

    no discipline advice but,
    i think your daughters will be just fine. we as parents are a little too hard on ourselves thinking that we can easily damage our kids.
    however i feel as long as you love them and like you said do what you think is best they will turn out fine. love, and them knowiing that you care is the most important thing to give them
    "We are the coolest mothafuckas on the planet....The sky is fallin ain't no need to panic"... -Outkast

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    Veteran Member Rockell's Avatar
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    Default Re: What are some of your house rules?

    I'm having a hard time disciplining or getting my 2 1/2 year old to do anything I want (eating, going to bed at a reasonable hour, cleaning up toys) because his dad spoils him rotten and undermines every attempt I make to discipline him. To make it even worse, he doesn't want me putting him in day care (where I think that he would benefit by having some structure and learning that there are rules to be followed), so it is very frustrating to say the least.

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    Default Re: What are some of your house rules?

    My 2 yr. old IS SO WELL BEHAVED. Its my 4 yr. old who thinks shes the boss. Daycare does help tremendously. Structure for any kid helps. I live by a schedule. Its the only sane thing in my life now.

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    Default Re: What are some of your house rules?

    I know. My mother was a drunk too.

    That's why I don't drink! Don't wanna put my kid through hell...

    Make a chart listing what your child's responsibilities are (brushing teeth, cleaning up messes, etc.). Make it for 7 days a week. Any time they do what they are supposed to do, put a sticker on their chart. If they have all their stickers on their chart by the end of the week, they get a prize.

    If they don't listen and you don't want to repeat yourself, tell them "Kid, you have a choice. Put your toys away and get a sticker, or get a time-out for not listening." If they do what they are supposed to, put a sticker on the chart and verbally praise them. If they don't listen, calmly put them in time out and if they run off put them back calmy. This way they know you mean business and thier misbehavior isn't going to get a rise out of you.

    I do this with my kid. It works wonders.
    Quote Originally Posted by We had a rabbit like you View Post
    And I'm over here like "fuck you, pay me". No non sense, sorry.

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    Featured Member greggy's Avatar
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    Default Re: What are some of your house rules?

    Sounds like you're doing fine. I have no kids, but I plan to raise my children exactly the way my mother raised me, I'm enjoying watching my sisters and friends do it, etc. The dinner thing doesn't sound unreasonable. And yes, sometimes you do have to ask them 10x to pick up a toy or something, especially at age 5.

    Perhaps if you put some sort of punishment/reward system in place for your kids doing things without you asking or the first time you ask, and remain consistent with it, then they'll eventually grow out of it. Note: Two of my sisters each have an 11-year old and I hear them telling their kids to do things 2 or 3 times at least; I'm 22 and my mom has to ask me to do things sometimes at least once or twice (I need to move out again). I don't think they ever completely grow out of it.

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    Default Re: What are some of your house rules?

    It sounds to me that your are doing fine. I have 3 children 5,3,and 3 months and I go through the same thing. My two oldest sometimes doesn't want to eat what I cook there only other alternative is a sandwich or nothing at all. They do the same thing with having me tell them do somthing 500x's now I just take toys from them or don't allow them go places. I also offer incentives for them to get them to listen to me but I don't do it all the time so they wont come to depend on it.

    Being kinda hard on your child doesn't make you a bad mom. It makes you a great mom don't sweat the small stuff.

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    Veteran Member justtobenaked's Avatar
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    Default Re: What are some of your house rules?

    You are doing fine. I have 3 and they are all older than that. I disciplined my kids from the minute I thought I needed to, and my oldest are so well behaved it is crazy. Although one of them I do have to tell him about 10 times to do things because he gets side tracked so easily. Being that your oldest is 5, keep in mind that their attention span is so little, and this will come in time. I have always bee to the point and very strict so this has helped me. I am this way because i am basically a single mom when their father is on the road. Everything does come in time. I came from a large family and my parents were both at home, never faught, and we were always at a church so behavoir was very important. I appreciate my upbringing, but it has caused me to become to paranoid of things "No I cant do that" No I cant to do this" I personally am just barely letting me kids spend nights else where or walk home from short distance (only my oldest). With my third child I have let do alot that I would have not let my older 2 do, because life experience changed alot of views for me. My big important piece of advice would be to always show love, and balance it with discipline as well. They WILL appreciate it later! GL

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    Default Re: What are some of your house rules?

    all good adive guys...thank u so much.
    about the sticker thing...i do have reward stickers.
    but what if they get all but one sticker? or 6 out of 7 for the week? then no prize? that is a system i kinda like.
    Ahrie was havin problems at school.shes in private school where poor behavior and disobediance is not tolerated,so when she acted up she went to the office,i was called, and she was punished with a pop on the butt...which is a very infrequent thing, she apologized,went back to class. this went on every day for 2 weeks. it stopped after i started PRAISING her big time on days she was good. she loves to cuddle up at night before bed, so i tell her in the AM if shes good, we'll cuddle. havent been called to school in over a month now. so i def. like the reward thing.
    thanks everybody!

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    Default Re: What are some of your house rules?

    As far as the dinner time problem, if she doesn't finish her meal, do not allow her to eat anything else, until she finishes dinner. I had the same problem with my five year old son and he still tries to pull this. I seriously had to quit giving him anything else to eat.

    Now, if he doesn't eat his lunch or dinner, I wrap it up and put it in the fridge or in the microwave. He always comes back for something to eat and I tell him he's not getting anything else until he eats dinner or lunch or whatever and now he eats it because he's hungry.

    He has gone to bed without eating, but he learned his lesson and made up for it at breakfast. It may sound like a bad thing to do, but this is a very bad habit and until you break that habit, they will continue to do it.

    It also helps too, if you don't allow them to drink anything before eating. I used to wonder why my brother in law did this to my nephew and I would look at him all crazy, but now I SEE WHY. So, I make him eat first and then he can have something to drink. And if he doesn't eat, I will only allow him to drink water.

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    Default Re: What are some of your house rules?

    Quote Originally Posted by Xiomara View Post
    i do have reward stickers.
    but what if they get all but one sticker? or 6 out of 7 for the week? then no prize? that is a system i kinda like.
    Ahrie was havin problems at school.shes in private school where poor behavior and disobediance is not tolerated,so when she acted up she went to the office,i was called, and she was punished with a pop on the butt...which is a very infrequent thing, she apologized,went back to class. this went on every day for 2 weeks. it stopped after i started PRAISING her big time on days she was good. she loves to cuddle up at night before bed, so i tell her in the AM if shes good, we'll cuddle. havent been called to school in over a month now. so i def. like the reward thing.
    thanks everybody!
    Positive reinforcement works wonders. I mean, think about it. If someone said "Be on your best behavior for a month and you will be rewarded with an all-expense paid 14 day trip to the Carribbean", you're going to behave, right?

    I just wait for my kid to fill up his sticker chart. The reward does not come until all the stickers are on there. Then once the chart gets filled and the "big reward" is given, we start fresh with a new chart.

    The chart shows the kids what is expected of them. They learn that when they do good things, good things happen.
    Quote Originally Posted by We had a rabbit like you View Post
    And I'm over here like "fuck you, pay me". No non sense, sorry.

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