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Thread: do you keep your job a secret?

  1. #1
    christy_j
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    Default do you keep your job a secret?

    this might belong in the newbie section...

    do you keep stripping a secret? atm i'm just doing a bit of topless waitressing and because i still have a "normal" weekday job i don't tell anyone about the waitressing - or i tell people it's a cash job with a catering company. it's important that my weekday boss doesn't hear about it and decide that it has an effect on my ability to do my job. however if i became a stripper as my main job it wouldn't bother me who knows.

    my concern about telling people would be trying to gauge how THEY would handle the information. same as i try to remember not to get changed in front of people because it makes THEM uncomfortable, not me.

    i'm just wondering when the inevitable "so what do you do?" question comes up in social situations, do you comfortably say "i'm a stripper" or do you have a cover story?

    if you tell the truth, how do people handle it?

  2. #2
    Senior Member xsomnambulist's Avatar
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    Default Re: do you keep your job a secret?

    I don't hide it, I don't sugar-coat it, I don't have a cover story. If its something I want to do, then I shouldn't care about people knowing. I am who I am -- I do what I do -- and if you like it, awesome. If not, however, that just sucks for you. My friends know, my family knows, my boyfriend's family knows, a couple of my day job bosses know (only because they showed up at the club one night. Awkwarrrrrrrd.)

    That said, now that I'm visiting my parents, I'm not as open about it when I meet new people here. Its not for my own sake, but for my dad's. He's kinda high-ranking and influential on post, and I don't want to have people look badly upon him and take him less seriously, because they raised a clearly damaged daughter . I mean, come on...why else would I dance. *rolls eyes*

    Of course I've had people react badly, but you know what? That saved me a lot of time. Having people reveal themselves up front, and not discovering later is awesome. Most of the time, though, people are more curious than disgusted, at least that's been my experience.



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    Default Re: do you keep your job a secret?

    a few friends and my sister knows. i wouldn't want anyone else knowing especially my parents. when asked by some ppl what i do i say i'm a waitress or just don't have a job.

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    Veteran Member Lady's Avatar
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    Default Re: do you keep your job a secret?

    when I did it full time pretty much everyone knew EXCEPT my day jobs. I have always been in managerial type positions so it wasnt something that I needed everybody at work knowing about.
    Now the only one that knows I have started again is my sister. Im not really ashamed of it, but everyone expressed how happy they were of me when I did quit I would feel like I was letting them down if they knew I was doing it again, even if it is only one day a week. And now my bosses CANT find out. I would be in deep shit if they knew.

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    Featured Member MsClaireVoyant's Avatar
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    Default Re: do you keep your job a secret?

    My parents would have a huge problem with it. When I told my mom I was thinking about doing it she became extremely upset. That pisses me off a lot. I'm an adult, I should be entitled to an adult life and because they can't handle it it will put me in a situation where if I want to start dancing full time, I'll have to lie to them about it. I don't like lying to them, but whats a person to do? Everyone else in my life knows. It's my family thats the problem.

  6. #6
    christy_j
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    Default Re: do you keep your job a secret?

    Quote Originally Posted by xsomnambulist View Post
    Of course I've had people react badly, but you know what? That saved me a lot of time. Having people reveal themselves up front, and not discovering later is awesome. Most of the time, though, people are more curious than disgusted, at least that's been my experience.
    that is such a good point. i'd never thought of it this way.

    my main concern is my family. they are rich and influential and kind of in the public eye - for instance when it emerged that my father had had an illegitimate child at the age of 17 it was all over the tabloids.

    i think the best thing would be to keep it from them as much as possible because it matters to me that they aren't hurt.

    with everyone else it would be a good way to find out if they are someone i want to know or not

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    Default Re: do you keep your job a secret?

    I dont hide it all the time. My parents know, my friends know, but no way in hell would I tell my man's parents. They are old school southern baptists. So to them, I'm a waitress.

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    Veteran Member Alia_of_the_Knife's Avatar
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    Default Re: do you keep your job a secret?

    I don't hide it but I don't wear a red sign saying that I am a stripper either. Most of my friends know and I am sure many of my associates have been able to "figure it out".

    I often tell people I work at a bar and that's enough.
    Quote Originally Posted by vbmenu_register("postmenu_1597376", true); View Post
    Uh, unless she went at that bush with a jar of shoe polish, she doesn't look much like a natural blonde to me!
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    Veteran Member Spankie55's Avatar
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    Default Re: do you keep your job a secret?

    the only people I keep it a secret from are my grandparents,simply because I don't want them to have a heart attack..I'm not ashamed.
    But other than them,every one knows.
    but yeah. I don't care who knows. I enjoy the work,and I don't think less of my self.. I think that's all that should matter.
    Dancers are beautiful,strong,Intelligent women who exude self confidence..what's to be ashamed of and why hide it?
    I'm proud of who I am,and where I'm going in my life,
    and if someone has a problem with how I make my money,they can suck my big toe for all I care.
    I is a mommy.
    09.27.09

  10. #10
    christy_j
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    Default Re: do you keep your job a secret?

    thanks for all your awesome replies!


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    Default Re: do you keep your job a secret?

    my roommate would have a HUGE problem with it.... when i first mentioned to him that i was "thinking" about it he through a tantrum and said that i would have to find another place to live if i took on such a job... that stripping was dirty, lazy etc etc.... :/

    he thinks im working as 'support staff' in a strip club... and that as part of the job im required to wear stillettos and gowns... (which he believes because he has never been in a strip club and really believes that all the dancers just run around naked....)

    i have a pole in my bedroom.... which he knows about... he assumes i just do it for fitness because ive always been into extreme dance / gymnastics / martial arts.... so it's just one more quirky thing to add to the list

    everyone else knows... even some of his friends.... im sure in a way he does too... but he is either in denial or just a personification of the saying "ignorance is bliss".....

    my parents also don't know... but it's easier to hide from them because they live in another country...

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    Default Re: do you keep your job a secret?

    I'm open about it to anyone who asks, except my family. Really, the only person I don't want to know is my dad, because I know he would stop speaking to me and blame himself for the rest of his life for "fucking up" so bad with his daughter. *Sigh...* Not worth the trouble, imo. I've only had one friend react badly, which I expected, but he got over it. Most people are just surprised, because I don't fit the typical stripper mold.

  13. #13
    Senior Member LittleMissy's Avatar
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    Default Re: do you keep your job a secret?

    My boyfriend now knows but I still think he's in denial (after not knowing for a really long time), a few of my close girlfriends and friends and thats about it. My family would disown me.

    I have a day job to back it up with the "what do you do" question. I don't need everyone in my business nor do I need to attract "new" customers so I just keep the two jobs seperate.
    "Maybe some women aren't meant to be tamed. Maybe they're supposed to run wild until they find someone - just as wild - to run with."







  14. #14
    Veteran Member SexyJess's Avatar
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    Default Re: do you keep your job a secret?

    Wow, Raven, your roommate sounds ignorant as hell. He'd be a sucker in a strip club and probably give his money away in 5 minutes. lol

    I hide it from the world, save my husband and a couple of friends. It's not fun, but right now, it's necessary for a lot of reasons.

    Quote Originally Posted by xxRavenxx View Post
    my roommate would have a HUGE problem with it.... when i first mentioned to him that i was "thinking" about it he through a tantrum and said that i would have to find another place to live if i took on such a job... that stripping was dirty, lazy etc etc.... :/

    he thinks im working as 'support staff' in a strip club... and that as part of the job im required to wear stillettos and gowns... (which he believes because he has never been in a strip club and really believes that all the dancers just run around naked....)

    i have a pole in my bedroom.... which he knows about... he assumes i just do it for fitness because ive always been into extreme dance / gymnastics / martial arts.... so it's just one more quirky thing to add to the list

    everyone else knows... even some of his friends.... im sure in a way he does too... but he is either in denial or just a personification of the saying "ignorance is bliss".....

    my parents also don't know... but it's easier to hide from them because they live in another country...

  15. #15
    Member ValerieGA's Avatar
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    Default Re: do you keep your job a secret?

    Most of my friends, my immediate family, and my fiance know. I do keep it a secret from certain people that I think would judge me. I dance for an arena football team, so I have to have "morals" and being exposed as a stripper would force me to leave an activity I love.
    That's my bebeh, Pumpkin------>[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

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    Veteran Member Nina77's Avatar
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    Default Re: do you keep your job a secret?

    If I didn't have kids, I'm sure I'd tell everyone.
    But when you have kids and you're sitting around making chit chat with the other Moms at the school- its not a comfortable situation to announce being a stripper. Or while sitting in a parent/teacher conference, telling your childs teacher you're a stripper lol.
    So in those situations, waitress is usually what I say. I have had a Teacher ask "Oh where?" and I told her the name of the strip club, she didn't know what it was and asked me where it was. I didn't want her to think it was a restaurant and show up so I told her it's a gentlemen's club... she looked confused but didnt react negatively lol.

  17. #17
    Veteran Member LiveFree's Avatar
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    Default Re: do you keep your job a secret?

    secret and separate

  18. #18
    Featured Member MsClaireVoyant's Avatar
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    Default Re: do you keep your job a secret?

    Do you guys have any tips on keeping it secret? Like, I live with my family right now (until I leave to travel) so it's sorta weird.

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    Default Re: do you keep your job a secret?

    it really depends on who it is I'm talking to.If I know that someone is going to be close to me,or I just flat out don't care about them yes I do say that I'm a stripper.
    If I know someone will freak out I tell them that I work in customer service/sales.
    And on paper I'm just self-employeed and if they ask I own an e-bay business.

  20. #20
    Featured Member dangerousdiva's Avatar
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    Default Re: do you keep your job a secret?

    I have a complete double life.


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    Default Re: do you keep your job a secret?

    My immediate family w the exception of 1 sister (out of 4 siblings) knows,as do my close friends. The only people in the dark are my associate type friends and my husbands family... and I hate that, I feel too old to be making up stories about shit but I can understand my husbands reasons for not wanting his family to know

  22. #22
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    Default Re: do you keep your job a secret?

    Only one friend knows - no one else (don't have a boyfriend)

  23. #23
    Featured Member MsClaireVoyant's Avatar
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    Default Re: do you keep your job a secret?

    Okay Im really glad it's not only me who would have to keep it a secret. I feel better now. But I have to say it really pisses me off that we should have to keep it secret from ANYONE. One of my friends told me today that she doesn't think stripping is healthy no matter how much I "justify" it with the money or a sense of personal power.

    It really made me think.. not all of us feel stripping is something that should have to be "justified" at all..

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    Default Re: do you keep your job a secret?

    I had to keep it secret and seperate from my work life because of my high level jobs. I also kept it from my parents because they are old and it would just upset them. One of my brothers and his 21 yr old daughter know. My partners i've had over the time i danced knew, including my now fiance.

    Although i have been known to tell people just to keep them distant from the real me if that makes sense. I also remember when a boyfriend took me to meet his friends who were SOOOO smug and pretentious (as was the boyfriend) that when they asked 'so what do you do?' i replied 'i'm a lapdancer' just to watch them squirm. The boyfriend threw a fit and i just laughed.

    If you don't want people to know - they don't need to know. Tell them you work behind the bar of a nightclub far enough away so that they won't visit and then change the subject. If you ask people more about themselves it's a great diversion and not only will they not care about what you do but they will think you are really interesting and lovely!

  25. #25
    christy_j
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    Default Re: do you keep your job a secret?

    i know a few people who honestly believe that strippers are sluts and they are just prostitutes who also dance. my ex-best friend held this view. and the funny thing about that is the reason we're not friends any more is because she tried to sleep with my boyfriend. she is engaged to his best friend. who is the slut?

    considering how many of these narrow minded people i know, and knowing that they have a high opinion of me, if i start stripping i would be so tempted to tell them what i do. it would completely mess with their concept of stripper=junkie whore. it would be a really interesting social experiment to see whether they adjusted their perception of me and started thinking i was a slut/junkie - or would they start thinking more highly of strippers?


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